Oversensitive to partners drinking

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OP, your partner has a drinking problem. That's the real issue here. If a mid-30s woman is regularly going out and drinking so much that she no longer use a phone or talk, then it's a serious issue that needs to be addressed, for her sake as well as yours.

You're naturally worried when she goes out, given her patterns. You don't know after a few hours whether she's having fun with her friends or lying comatose on the street somewhere. Someone who drinks to such excess is at risk of everything from serious injury to sexual assault to death by asphyxiation. It's natural to want to make contact and check in under those circumstances.

It should go without saying that a pattern of her going out and getting absolutely hammered while you sit at home worrying and being in the role of a caretaker is not sustainable in a healthy relationship. You are her girlfriend, not her Mammy.

She needs to get her drinking in check. Talking to a GP is a good start. Learning her limit and sticking to it is essential. She shouldn't get involved in buying rounds -- she can easily end up drunker than she wants to be, and still have 3 or 4 drinks still sitting on the table.

You need to talk to her and make it clear how concerned you are and what a big issue this is.

Wabbit Ears

When Either myself or my wife go out drinking we will have a session. We have kids and we don't get to go out often so when we do, we like to burn off steam. Often we go out with our separate groups or with our workmates.

Me, I often arrange a hotel to crash at as My wife doesn't like driving into town or whatnot at night (we live semi-rural). If shes out Ill pick her up. It doesn't matter when. I tell her Ill make sure to have my ringer volume on and to call me when shes ready. That could be 12, 1 or 5am. Doesn't matter. Ill get up and pick her up.

One thing we do NOT do is be a buzzkill and text or call when the others out. That.. that's just some insecure-a$s BS. There is NO reasonable reason to do that, even if youre going to be picking them up. let them have the night out and be taxi driver or don't, but there's no pretending that an agreed time to pick them up is anything other then trying to impose a curfew.

vetinari

I think that's pretty unfair. If I'm being a taxi driver for someone, I have a right to know around what time that will be. I'm not a servant.