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Hate my new job, can I go back?

  • 13-01-2019 11:33am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭


    Hope someone will be able to offer me some advice.
    I just started a new job after Christmas and I absolutely hate it to the point that I am depressed now. Its a disaster, morale is low and people are stressed.

    I loved my last company but I was only ever on contract. There was a chance I could have been made perm but not until some changes were implemented company wide. It was a 50/50 chance.

    This role came up, perm and more money and I just thought finally some security but as soon as I started I knew I made a massive mistake. My gut is shouting loudly.

    I was almost crying with relief Friday evening and I'm sick today at the thought of facing into the place tomorrow.

    I've spoken to friends in my previous company and they said they will keep a lookout for perm roles for me. The company knows why I left (permanency and risk of losing job), I wanted to stay. I've all the skills they need for their way of working.
    Do you think they would take me back?

    Thanks for reading. I'm shaking with the stress of this all.


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 265 ✭✭Petyr Baelish


    Call them and ask. No point sitting around stressing about it and not doing anything. The worst that can happen is they say no.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    I've started that process.....I just hope something comes up.
    I feel like they would want me since I have the experience and it looks good that someone wants to go back?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 265 ✭✭Petyr Baelish


    Well I wish you all the best and I hope you get what you want. It seems you are in the waiting stage now so I'm not sure what advice I can give other than to say try to stick it out until you get out of there.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 796 ✭✭✭Sycamore Tree


    Yes you can go back but the funny things is you will probably not stay long when you do return. No more than 18 months. I have seen that happen many times. Your head has already moved on and any annoyances will be triplicate when you return. That's not to say it's a bad move especially if you hate where you are. Good luck.


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,809 Mod ✭✭✭✭Kimbot


    Why do you hate the new job? Your only there a matter of 2 weeks now?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,411 ✭✭✭✭gimli2112


    don't be stressed, people get so worked up over jobs, it's important but there's lots of work around
    I didn't like my job when I started 20 years later, I still hate it :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 39,450 ✭✭✭✭eagle eye


    Look out for other jobs too. Just because one place is bad doesn't mean they all are.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,042 ✭✭✭zl1whqvjs75cdy


    Not to belittle your feelings op but this can often happen when you switch out of a role you weren't necessarily unhappy in. Your only in it three weeks so I'd give it a bit more of a chance.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    I really didn't want to leave my old job. I was happy there. It was just the uncertain future and this all happened so fast.

    I know in my heart of hearts that I made a massive mistake. I just hope something comes up soon. If I am lucky to go back, I won't leave. If I was perm, I wouldn't have in the first place.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 824 ✭✭✭lapua20grain


    I was the same, I went through 2 jobs in 6 months I knew from the day I started in these jobs that they were not was sold to me. I chalked them down as contracts and started a new job a couple of months ago with a far better company and knew right from the first interview that they were different from the last couple of positions. Keep looking forward don't look back. As a poster said earlier you will feel different and small things that didn't annoy you before will now and you will resent that. It is the time to look now as companies that have been holding back hires for the Christmas are now hiring. You don't have to acknowledge the position on your C.V. or LinkedIn profile and tell anyone in a new company you were in between contracts and start immediately.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    It is making me so anxious. I never felt like this in the previous role. I wonder about my decision making skills.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,977 ✭✭✭HandsomeBob


    Ande1975 wrote: »
    It is making me so anxious. I never felt like this in the previous role. I wonder about my decision making skills.

    You made the decision for the right reasons so I wouldn't be too hard on yourself.

    I'm in my current role nigh on 6 years now and have seen both ends of the scale in terms of employees attempting to come back after they left.

    It really comes down to how the person left the company originally and in your case it sounds like you left on good terms and that you were valued. I'd see no reason why they wouldn't take you back but as you said yourself it comes down to roles being available.

    You might just need to face a period of getting the head down and trying your best to make the current role work.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 145 ✭✭lurker2000


    Hi Ande1975. Firstly, for your mental well-being you have to try your best to get out of the panic mode you are in. While its natural to have negative thoughts bounce around your head, its only result is to drag your down and drain your self confidence. Obviously you are good at what you do, you held your position well in the last job. It does take a while to settle into a new position, especially if your only reason for leaving the old one was to be more financially secure. You will naturally feel nostalgia for the old friends and comfortable feeling there, but you left that job for a reason and going back is not going to change that situation. While I understand why the old job feels like a safe island in stormy waters, you really need to either make this new job work or start looking for a completely new one.

    Making positive plans for your future will help to banish the self doubt that is now eating you up. Put your name down with an employment agency and check out the new jobs in your area of expertise. Can you talk to anyone at your present job about the difficulties you are facing now? What exactly is the problem for your personally at this new job? Is the workload too heavy or have you not been trained properly ? Can this be addressed by anyone there?

    Lastly, please try and put it into a positive perspective. You already have a job that is pulling in a wage, there is good employment out there now unlike five years ago - you have the skills to apply for a new position and the skills to pass the interview stage which you did recently. You can do it again ! Best of luck.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    Lurker2000 and everyone who has responded, I am so thankful for you all.

    I just want to reiterate that I left the previous role due to uncertainty not because I didn't love the company. If I was perm there I would never have left.

    I have walked into a role where people are stressed. Its hard for me to describe the issues as it will give stuff away but I am not alone in my thinking.

    I will do what is best for me....


  • Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,631 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    Just be aware that this is kind of normal, going from your comfort zone to something very different. I left my job of 4 years and started a new one in the new year. It's a horrible feeling going from knowing everything, to knowing nothing. But, I know if I could travel 6 months into the future, then travel back with that knowledge, to now, I'd feel 100 times better. I just need to keep reminding myself, in only there a week. Thankfully, I don't hate the new job, just frustrating learning everything, but surely that's an appeal of a new job?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    Back again, I am just really so unhappy. I heard today from people that the pressure is enormous. Its non stop working 12 - 14 hour days. My boss works all the time. The work life balance is non existent.
    I am too long in the tooth for this. If I could tell you the difference between the two companies, I think I hear, yes you were nuts!
    I had a logical reason but what I didn't do was research more and ask questions more.
    What upset me (and I found out Day 1) was I have a home matter that is quite stressful. I told the recruiter this as its important to me and I want them to know in case its an issue for them. He said he did and they were very flexible.
    I mentioned it to my boss day 1, they said they didn't know.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,415 ✭✭✭Archeron


    For what it's worth OP, I left a job after 4 years, hated the new one and went back to the old one again where I worked another 4 years. I've left now and am happy but left with the agreement that if I ever wanted to go back , stint number 3 in that company would always be an option. In that company there were 5 of us that had left and came back (out of 30 in the company). It's possible and probably surprisingly common.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,837 ✭✭✭lab man


    Ande1975 wrote:
    It is making me so anxious. I never felt like this in the previous role. I wonder about my decision making skills.


    Same happened me there few months ago thought I was going to a great new job I left my job also contracted for 9 yrs went to the new job I left after 3 months phoned my old job started bact the following week or so I'm delighted to be back better than dreading what and who be looking at the new guy today scenario .... phone yer old job tail between legs for a week


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,429 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    I once left a multinational as I was unhappy with promotion prospects. Left and was back within 7 months for the job that they wouldn't consider me for previously plus a €40k bump in base salary over the two moves.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    Thanks to you all who have since responded. Its just made enormously better.
    Its great to know that this is not uncommon. I am a huge believer in trusting your gut. I loved where I was and going to this new place reinforced that. Its not grass is greener, I knew that, its just I wanted permanency and hopefully that will be an option in the very near future.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 987 ✭✭✭mikep


    Hi there. I recently returned to the job I left after 16 years (yes 16 years!!) The job I went to was a very exciting prospect but like you found it was a toxic mess that I had joined with lots of stress and people expected to do 60 hr weeks "to get the job done". I was lucky that the job i left hadn't been filled so I was able to come back. Also like yourself I felt that life is too short to put up with the crap that I was experiencing.
    My advice to you is to see if a return is on the cards and if you feel it is right..go for it. The company you left will benefit from allowing you back as you will need no training and they know you..that goes a long way..
    Also as mentioned there are lots of jobs out there at the mo so if you can't return you can always move on again..

    Best of luck!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    I think this is the first time where I have know straight away this was a massive mistake. It is just soulless. I am heartened by all the stories as I realise its not just me. I just hope I don't do any reputational damage. Thing is I was recommended by a friend.
    I've put the feelers out in the last place so hopefully something will come up.
    For those who went back, was there some embarrassment?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 987 ✭✭✭mikep


    There was some embarrassment for me, a bit of the usual slagging went on but nothing major. Stress I was feeling is 100% gone so it was worth it even though pay is much less than the job I hated.
    I also heard that the person I reported to in the the place I got out of also left so I wasn't imagining it and by the sounds of it neither are you..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    Thanks Mikep, I never felt like this in my old job. There was a brightness to the place and the people were lovely. I felt cared about. Here everyone is tense, stressed and head down. I heard some people were working until midnight Xmas eve.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    Wirelessdude, how did you explain the 7 months in that company? I am wondering what (if I do manage to go back) to say in the future.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 824 ✭✭✭lapua20grain


    Ande1975 wrote: »
    Wirelessdude, how did you explain the 7 months in that company? I am wondering what (if I do manage to go back) to say in the future.[/QUOTE


    Say it was contract work it is a lot more prevalent now than it used to be.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    I was thinking that. Thanks...

    If I could just go back in time... To those who left new jobs after a short time, how did the employer react? I'm worried if I did leave that it would impact my reputation.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 987 ✭✭✭mikep


    Hi again
    There was quite a bit of shock when I handed in my notice as they regarded themselves as a great place to work, despite being partially aware of the issues that made me leave.
    Since I had started the it became clear that there was a lot of dysfunction in the place but mainly that the job the offered wasn't the job I got due to delays in a particular project.
    I had three exit interviews!!! I was quite direct and made it clear why I felt I couldn't stay.
    Don't worry about your reputation, stuff like that is soon forgotten and you aren't being sacked!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    Thanks Mikep it sounds like you went through exactly what I am experiencing.
    My old boss is doing my job now so there is no chance I could go back to that role. It'll have to be something new but it'll be a few months before the dust settles back there.
    Its soul destroying being somewhere you don't like. I'm counting down the hours until I leave for the weekend. I used NEVER be like this.
    I'll have to suck it up for a while.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Ande1975 wrote: »
    I feel like they would want me since I have the experience and it looks good that someone wants to go back?

    The first part is true (they want experienced employees) but it does not look good you want to go back. Leaving and then returning is generally seen as weak. That's not to say they won't take you back though. Good luck.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,736 ✭✭✭caviardreams


    Would you think about trying to stick it out for 9 months or a year and then trying to go back? It would look a bit stronger then and you could make a case that it was useful experience as a short term role but you did all you could to develop it etc. and in the longer term would like to return and that you have also developed X skills from your time away which would be an asset?

    I know it means sticking it out, but at least if you feel it is only for 9 months or so it might be easier to deal with mentally?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 925 ✭✭✭Captainsatnav


    Hi OP. While I didn't return to the job I left, in April 2017 I left a place I'd been in for over 2 years to go to a certain that I should have known had form. A colleagues left with tails between her legs couple of years ago. It was a 20% bump in pay and I was bored witless where I was so I took it. They had me in 4 times to interview me so mea culpa on that part.

    I lasted 4 months.

    Tbh I knew 5 minutes after I was directed to my desk on my first day "nope...not for me". I spent the next couple of months trying my best but nothing I did was ever good enough. Co-workers were stressed to their eyeballs, no craic, everyone head down beavering away on the keyboards, dog eat dog corporate bullsh1t.

    The effect that this was having on me was terrible. I was getting cold nervous sweats driving up there every morning, Feeling guilty about leaving any time before 7, nothing but beratement at one to one meetings with manager over my work, no confidence in myself or that I'd ever provide a comfortable future for myself or partner after all my studies and my qualification. It was the worst summer of my life.

    I got on to a recruiter on the advice of my partner, dad and friends. She understood the scenario 100%. By September 2017 I was out of there and in a great fin tech place with only a €2k pay resuction, where no one cares about your previous experience or school. Ppl of all socioeconomic backgrounds all mucking in together. My boss is sound. He's out the gap at half 5. We have the craic and after 16 months I'm earning a little more than I was in the hell hole!

    Lesson for you-leave and leave as soon as possible. F*ck them. Contact a recruiter Monday. Work to live. Never live to work.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    Thanks Captainsatnav, the wheels are now in motion.
    I won't get back there straight away but I will in time. I have people rooting for me. I've learned a lot about my ex manager which is disappointing. Fingers crossed I'll get back there sooner rather than later


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    The first part is true (they want experienced employees) but it does not look good you want to go back. Leaving and then returning is generally seen as weak. That's not to say they won't take you back though. Good luck.

    I don't agree that leaving and returning is seen as weak when my reasoning was legit. Turns out there is a collective agreement that where I have gone to is not a pleasant environment.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    Would you think about trying to stick it out for 9 months or a year and then trying to go back? It would look a bit stronger then and you could make a case that it was useful experience as a short term role but you did all you could to develop it etc. and in the longer term would like to return and that you have also developed X skills from your time away which would be an asset?

    I know it means sticking it out, but at least if you feel it is only for 9 months or so it might be easier to deal with mentally?

    I would lose my marbles. I am miserably unhappy and stressed at the thought of going in there tomorrow


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Ande1975 wrote: »
    I don't agree that leaving and returning is seen as weak when my reasoning was legit. Turns out there is a collective agreement that where I have gone to is not a pleasant environment.

    It is definitely seen as weak.

    You left to go to another job, it failed, and now you're returning to your old job instead of getting another new one.

    Some people are going to interpret it as "she doesn't have the skills to work elsewhere".

    After a few months though no one will care, so go for it anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    It is definitely seen as weak.

    You left to go to another job, it failed, and now you're returning to your old job instead of getting another new one.

    Some people are going to interpret it as "she doesn't have the skills to work elsewhere".

    After a few months though no one will care, so go for it anyway.

    You do not know anything about my skills or the details of my situation. I rather go back than get a new one as I know I was happy there and I didn’t want to leave in the first place. Less of the judgement please. This is hard enough.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,977 ✭✭✭HandsomeBob


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    It is definitely seen as weak.

    You left to go to another job, it failed, and now you're returning to your old job instead of getting another new one.

    Some people are going to interpret it as "she doesn't have the skills to work elsewhere".

    After a few months though no one will care, so go for it anyway.

    From a negotiation point of view it puts you on the back foot and I've known companies to offer less than what the person was making originally, but from a day to day working point of view, your colleagues and manager would just be delighted that a solid hand is back. Sounds like the latter is what the OP is concerned about - a day to day working life that suits them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    From a negotiation point of view it puts you on the back foot and I've known companies to offer less than what the person was making originally, but from a day to day working point of view, your colleagues and manager would just be delighted that a solid hand is back. Sounds like the latter is what the OP is concerned about - a day to day working life that suits them.

    Yeah that is the only thing that concerns me is the salary. However, if I am applying for a new job in there then the salary should apply. I would be saving them on recruitment fees, training etc. I got a bump in the new job but I would go back to what I was on.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,022 ✭✭✭skallywag


    If you left on good terms, performed well, and had a good overall relationship with your colleagues then you can of course always go back.

    One of the questions which I am nearly always asked last when called to give a reference for a former employee is whether or not I would hire this person again, and I always give an answer which is genuine. We have had really great people leave in the past who I would have back in a second if I could.

    It has also happened, we have had people come back when the far away hill turned out to be not as green as it looked.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Ande1975 wrote: »
    You do not know anything about my skills or the details of my situation. I rather go back than get a new one as I know I was happy there and I didn’t want to leave in the first place. Less of the judgement please. This is hard enough.

    I'm not judging you. You came here asking for advice, you literally asked questions which I'm answering, and you're upset I'm not giving you the answer you want.
    It looks good that someone wants to go back?
    For those who went back, was there some embarrassment?
    How did the employer react?

    And I'm telling you people are going to judge you. "She can't get another job so she came back here", "She isn't able to work anywhere else", etc. I've seen this happen at a previous company I worked at.

    You should do what's best for you. If you want to go back, you should go back. I don't know you so I don't care what you do.

    Good luck.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 987 ✭✭✭mikep


    I don't think leaving the job as described could be seen as weak, in fact it shows that you are unwilling to put up with crap like 12 hours days, stress and no work life balance.
    If more people had the conviction to stand up to employers who are affecting the well being of their staff, and thus breaking the law, the less it would happen.
    Often the best way to do this is by telling the employer that they are leaving for this exact reason!

    If often tell people who whinge about their job to shut up if they aren't doing anything to change things...if you aren't willing to do something about it you have no one to blame but yourself.

    OP your mental health is more important than the salary..Once you are back to somewhere that is less stressful you can get back on track and see what comes up in the future.
    I dropped €12k+ improved bonus to go back to where I had left, it was worth it!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    mikep wrote: »
    I don't think leaving the job as described could be seen as weak

    It's not leaving the job that's seen as weak.

    People leave jobs all the time.

    It's the "she came running back" which is seen as weak.

    A cynical person would see it as "she left, failed, and came running back".

    A more "normal" thing to do would be to leave and find another new job. That's what 99% of people do.

    We are not being kind to her if we pretend everyone will be high-fiving her and only thinking positive things about her return.

    Again I'm not judging her. I don't know her. I'm just giving my opinion on the matter.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 987 ✭✭✭mikep


    Some people might see it as weak..others will see it as sensible..

    Staying in a job as described shouldn't be seen as "strong"..

    I understand that some people will think in terms of weakness etc...that is their issue to deal with.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    mikep wrote: »
    Some people might see it as weak..others will see it as sensible..

    Staying in a job as described shouldn't be seen as "strong"..

    I understand that some people will think in terms of weakness etc...that is their issue to deal with.

    Yes, I agree.

    She's going to have a mixed bag of reactions.

    She needs to be prepared for the arseholes.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    Yes, I agree.

    She's going to have a mixed bag of reactions.

    She needs to be prepared for the arseholes.

    I certainly haven't seen anyone who goes back to a job as weak. I'd love to know where you work OMM 0000 because you are the only person who sees it that way.
    I went from a relatively small company to a very large multi national which is soulless.... If I get laughed at or sneered at for going back, I do not care as you say that will pass but staying here or moving to another soulless place is far more detrimental to my mental health. If you read some of the posts on this thread, I am not alone. Anyways I am not going to justify myself anymore.
    Thanks Mikep !


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Ande1975 wrote: »
    I certainly haven't seen anyone who goes back to a job as weak. I'd love to know where you work OMM 0000 because you are the only person who sees it that way.
    I went from a relatively small company to a very large multi national which is soulless.... If I get laughed at or sneered at for going back, I do not care as you say that will pass but staying here or moving to another soulless place is far more detrimental to my mental health. If you read some of the posts on this thread, I am not alone. Anyways I am not going to justify myself anymore.
    Thanks Mikep !

    I worked in a company where a programmer left, his new job didn't work out, and then he came back.

    I heard multiple people laughing / being bitchy about it.

    Look believe whatever you want. You obviously only want to read answers which align with your world view.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I worked in a company where a programmer left, his new job didn't work out, and then he came back.

    I heard multiple people laughing / being bitchy about it.

    Look believe whatever you want. You obviously only want to read answers which align with your world view.

    Hey OMM 0000 we'll have to agree to disagree. If you have one example then sorry bud. I've read a few of your responses to threads on here and you lean on the negative side. I know my story so feel free not to post on here anymore. Its not that I only want to read answers that align with my world view, you are the only one with your world view. Most of the responses on this thread have been where I have and its worked out but since that doesn't align with your world view you choose to ignore them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Ande1975 wrote: »
    Hey OMM 0000 we'll have to agree to disagree. If you have one example then sorry bud. I've read a few of your responses to threads on here and you lean on the negative side. I know my story so feel free not to post on here anymore. Its not that I only want to read answers that align with my world view, you are the only one with your world view. Most of the responses on this thread have been where I have and its worked out but since that doesn't align with your world view you choose to ignore them.

    I'm not saying everyone will think you're weak. I'm saying some arseholes will, and you need to be prepared for that. You're lying to yourself if you think otherwise. Nothing good comes from that.

    I'm only interested in speaking the truth and dealing with reality. Other people can focus on being supportive.

    I should also point out I almost always try to take the employers angle on things, as I'm old, an employer, and have worked in management the past 10 years.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,578 ✭✭✭monkeysnapper


    I know a guy that was in a company 18 years , he left on good terms and even trained guy up before he left to do his job .

    His new job was a joke , they messed him around no end and it sounds just like your situation op ..

    Anyway he started back there a few weeks after he quit job in a different role , they decided to find a compromise for why he left in first place and now hes happy out ...

    I've known a few people down the years who went back to companies after things didnt work out ,,,, absolutely dont feel ashamed, and good luck op ...


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