Is this inappropriate behaviour at work?

Casualcontrol1

blairbear wrote: »

It is not as simple as just having a one on one chat with him. Depending on how senior he is (he could be a registrar/SpR) and how newly qualified the OP is, the power dynamic can be quite unequal; a lot of doctors, particularly male, would see themselves as being in a position of authority over nurses.

I'm a doctor myself in a HSE hospital, OP. I'm a senior registrar now but as an intern and SHO, these kind of comments seemed to be commonplace on the wards. There is a big difference between having a bit of craic with a colleague you are very friendly with and making sexually charged remarks to a nurse in a professional environment. It is totally unacceptable.

You need to have a chat with your CNM. What will likely happen is that she'll ask you to write an incident report, or put the complaint in writing, and it will be brought to the attention of HR and his consultant. Usually the consultant is asked to have a chat with the NCHD first. There is no way anyone is going to get sacked by the way. A surgical SHO that I worked with sexually harassed upwards of 20 different doctors and nurses over the course of a year and it was treated like a big joke by his team; there's quite the "boys will be boys" attitude prevalent in certain specialties.

HR will speak to him; they are obliged to follow up on any complaint and address it directly. The odd time the culprit receives additional training in what is/isn't appropriate at work.

Unless he is a total eejit, it should make him stop.

You were made feel uncomfortable and belittled by somebody who should be treating you with respect. Why on earth would you put up with it? My main regret from my more junior years as a doctor is not speaking up when I was bullied or harassed. This isn't a difference in sense of humour or a misunderstanding, OP. He was totally out of line.

Hope you're okay.

Thank you all for your comments. Blairbear he is a senior reg but very authoritative by nature and assertive. If it were one to one comments it would be different but certain comments were made in front of the team on a ward round when the consultant wasn’t there of course. I am not prudish I get he means no harm it’s just his way of flirting but to do it in front of the team or other patients is what makes me uncomfortable. To me it looks unprofessional and can place doubt in a patients mind about our credibility as professionals. In addition I don’t want the team or nurses talking and thinking something is going on etc. Plus it has gone to a stage where I don’t like going on a ward round because of fear of what he’ll say. I am a little intimidated by him and feel if I said anything to him he would make life difficult for me as he is a very bossy sharp character and can get frustrated easily.
The other day he tried to get another doctor in the team involved in the’flirting’ but he knew about this already and told him in his language to stop going on about it and just get on with the work. He said he hasn’t really spoken to him since

iamwhoiam

Blairbear is right , your first port of call is your CNM . You will be guided by her/ him as how to proceed and handle it . A Senior Reg will not bow easily to a " quiet word " from you and this could be a pattern he uses on others . Harassment is rarely an isolated case so its needs to be addressed .
A senior Reg asking a patient if his sugars are high due to a nurse in the room just makes me roll my eyes . I mean how inappropriate for the patient never mind the nurse .

December2012

To me it doesn't sound like flirting.

Flirting is trying to get a person to like you. It sounds like this Dr is trying to embarrass you.

Hoboo

facehugger99 wrote: »

Absolutely - one wonders if some of the advice givers on this forum are running to HR every 10 minutes.

You wouldn't believe what it's like in reality, and it's generally those born after 1995.

iamwhoiam

Hoboo wrote: »

You wouldn't believe what it's like in reality, and it's generally those born after 1995.

I was born way way way before 95 but would run to HR or the Pope if I needed to protect my patients from being made feel uneasy . Sometimes its very necessary when vulnerable people are being made feel uncomfortable

wiggle16

Hoboo wrote: »

You wouldn't believe what it's like in reality, and it's generally those born after 1995.

Mod warning:

Fatuous and unhelpful generalisation that says enough about your experience (and probable lack thereof) of working with under-25's, Hoboo. If you don't have advice for the OP, don't post. It's that simple.

I've already posted a note on thread requesting no more general discussion. Any further back and forth of this type will be actioned.

ZzubZzub

I’m a CNM in an ED so I understand the setting.

Bottom line, it’s innapropriate.

Now, I’ll be honest. There are other nurses/doctors that I’d have a friendship as well as a professional relationship and with those would count that as banter (our type of humour!) but it’s never in ear shot of patients and rarely in front of other colleagues because some people find that kind of joke offensive.

If you find it uncomfortable, then you need to say something. I don’t feel that it matters what position he’s in, junior/senior doctor/nurse/cleaner. We are a team.

You could, if you feel comfortable doing so, pull him aside and privately say that you know he means no harm but you don’t appreciate those kind of comments and would prefer to keep things friendly but always professional.

I personally would base my next action on his reaction. He could apologise, and it could make him think about his behaviour and the comments would stop.

If he doesn’t take your feeling on board and continues, then I would talk to my manager and ask what you’re next step would be and making it more formal.

At the end of the day, no one should be made to feel uncomfortable at work. Especially in healthcare, we take enough from the public without having to take it from our professional colleagues.

Best of luck.

laserlad2010

OP, as a male senior registrar myself (full disclosure - no inappropriate comments from my end!) you have the balance of power. It absolutely does not matter what personality traits he has, or what position he holds - as a permanent member of staff with the full backing of the entire hospital nursing cohort (I mean come on, your CNM will bring it to the ADON at the drop of a hat and then he is in huge trouble) you hold ALL the power.

This guy has, at most, a year contract. His consultant WILL NOT BACK HIM. His consultant will take one look at the ward staff who look after his patients constantly, and then at this fella who is just one in a long line of a carousel of registrars (woah I'm getting depressed here), and he will back the status quo.

FWIW, I have openly upbraided doctors and nurses for acting unprofessionally to each other and I can bet you that this guy's behaviour is NOT condoned, but people aren't speaking out.

Go to your CNM. ASAP