Dunno what path to take in life

ImARebel

That or move in closer to Dublin city centre so you can actually live city life. And commute to work like the rest of us.

I'd give up a parking space to have a proper city lifestyle

99nsr125

HaloTop wrote: »

I really don't want to be in Ireland.

Go to Canada
It's the best country in the world

anewme

HaloTop wrote: »

I guess I'm hoping something or someone will come along and make Dublin better for me.

Don't be reliant or waiting on someone else to come along to make your life better.

Make your own plans.

LegacyUser

OP, reading your posts it's as if someone took my thoughts and wrote them out. I understand exactly how you feel even down to the need to move away and I completely get the what ifs. But I'll say to you something I've recently discovered for myself - you have to let go and take that leap of faith. You have to trust that no matter what, things will work out.

Stop overthinking. You cannot plan for every eventuality. We can't know the future. We just hace to make a choice and hope everything works out for the best.

You're holding on too tightly to your job. It's clouding your gut instinct. I think the problem is that all your what ifs are negative. Flip it around and start thinking positively. What if you take a chance and have the best time of your life?

America, even with the visa hurdle, is a possibilty. People get sponsored; why not you? If you're not in you can't win right?

Go, you're not truly happy here. Stop overthinking it.

Faith

So what happens if you go back to Canada and get a job you don’t like and struggle to make friends?

I agree with the others, I think - whether you realise it or not - you’re trying to run away from yourself. But wherever you go, there you are. I think it’s more important to be at peace with yourself first.

messy tessy

anewme wrote: »

Don't be reliant or waiting on someone else to come along to make your life better.

Make your own plans.

Exactly this! If you do meet someone you are putting enormous amount of pressure on them to fix your life.

I don't know if moving abroad is the solution to making everything magically better but if you think that, you should go. Best of luck!

HaloTop

99nsr125 wrote: »

Go to Canada
It's the best country in the world

Lol, it definitely isn't perfect 😂

HaloTop

ImARebel wrote: »

That or move in closer to Dublin city centre so you can actually live city life. And commute to work like the rest of us.

I'd give up a parking space to have a proper city lifestyle

It's almost impossible to just move closer to the city. There's very few rentals going that are affordable. Every day I'm on daft checking for new options I'm only 35 mins on the bus from Stephens green so I'm not massively out either

LegacyUser

Hi OP
It sounds to me you are just fed up with where you are at RIGHT NOW in life. I think a lot of ppl, me included, feel this at some point. So what can you do about it?

Theres a lot going for Dublin. In fact I am so happy to live here vs any other place Ive been. It suits me.

Ive friends & relations who Dublin doesnt suit. The ones who took a chance\risk are happier. One lives in Boston & has a fun, active social life. Another few live in Aus\NZ and are big outdoors ppl who go on adventures almost weekly. Another is in UK who is there for career opps better than Ireland.
Of course I also know people grinding it out in Dublin on lower wages and they struggle month to month to do more than stay afloat. To me it seems a grind and I wonder why they dont try other places in Ireland or overseas. Apathy maybe?

I also myself lived away in a big city & was doing well but I packed it in as I preferred Dublin.
I know others who tried out other locations and it didnt stick.
Grand, move back.

Just some observations, wishing you the best, whatever you decide.

ImARebel

HaloTop wrote: »

It's almost impossible to just move closer to the city. There's very few rentals going that are affordable. Every day I'm on daft checking for new options I'm only 35 mins on the bus from Stephens green so I'm not massively out either

You said it took you an hour to get anywhere so I took from that you were well outside Dublin...

I'm not sure you really know what you want, you're seeing obstacles with everything.

What about Holland? Some great cities there, it's not too far either if you're having what ifs about being too far away

anewme

You are expecting too much OP. You are not going to get a perfect job, life, home, relationship and commute handed to you.

I'd love to live in Dublin City, decent area, instead I commute in from Kildare. I don't hanker after living in Dalkey by the sea, it ain't gonna happen.

Too far to commute to Dublin City, so I got a job in West Dublin.

You need to be honest with yourself and accept what you can and can't control.

You can't control rents, so you live where you can afford. You can move if you want to, so that's within your control. You can get a job somewhere else, or else don't. You can't pick up your job and move it somewhere else, so you stay or go.

You can stay in your job, get a place further out, like thousands of the rest of us do. There are ppl who can only dream of 35 min commute to city centre.

Life is about making yourself happy, but within your own parameters and accepting what you can't change and working around your own constraints. You can't have it all ways.

It's unfair you resent your ex for moving home. You didn't have to, but chose to. The fact the relationship broke up afterwards is not relevant. These things happem.

This type of worry impacts everyone from time to time. Everyone gets fed up from time to time. However, sometimes you have to make a decision based on all the info you have to hand and stick with it. It can go either way, but once you make a path, follow it and stop saying shoulda, woulda, coulda.

milli milli

HaloTop wrote: »

I honestly feel so at peace when I'm away.

the misery (sorry) that is Ireland.

No I haven't got a great social life here

Even dating here I find difficult.

When I lived in Chicago... I didn't have a lot of money and hated my job but the city gave me such a buzz
I just adore living in a big city, I get the same sense of peace that others get from being in the countryside.

I lived in Montreal for 6 months and just felt content.

It’s pretty obvious you are happy & content when living abroad. Even when you hated your job when abroad, the city-living made you happy anyway.
So even though you love your job here, you can be happy without that when abroad.
So it seems obvious you should move abroad. Yes they are downsides like missing your family & feeling guilty if anything happens to your parents. But that’s no way to live and your parents would want you to be happy with your life.
But I would echo other posters in that don’t wait for someone to make your life better - only you can do that.

Big Bag of Chips

Very few people ‘have it all’. We all have to make sacrifices and weigh up what matters most and then go for it. If living 10 minutes from where you work and having parking is the most important thing for you, then stay put. The sacrifice you are making there though is high rent. If you want lower rent you are going to have to move. And if Ireland doesn’t interest you then it will have to be abroad.

I think you really are over thinking this. You are a young single woman with no ties. You could potentially move anywhere you want in the world and the option of coming back is always there. I have family living on various continents. Yes, sometimes people die and they need to get home in a hurry. But people aren’t dying every month, or even every year. So staying somewhere you’re not happy just because you don’t want to be away if someone dies is in the realms of over thinking.

As a previous poster said you can’t have it every way. There are so many options open to you. Make a decision and go with it. Nothing is permanent and changes can always happen when needed. Nobody has the perfect, fulfilled, balanced life. But we all make the life we are content with. Forever looking for something more just leads to disappointment and feeling disillusioned. Life carries on regardless. You choose the most important things and compromise on others.

wiggle16

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

As a previous poster said you can’t have it every way. There are so many options open to you. Make a decision and go with it. Nothing is permanent and changes can always happen when needed. Nobody has the perfect, fulfilled, balanced life. But we all make the life we are content with. Forever looking for something more just leads to disappointment and feeling disillusioned. Life carries on regardless. You choose the most important things and compromise on others.

Just to say, +1 to the above

SirChenjin

Try listing the pros and cons of moving abroad and of staying put. Research all options open to you, and make a factual decision, based on your options.

As others have said, don't rely on someone coming along who will change things for you.

BBFAN

Just to add OP, the cost of living in major cities in Canada is comparable to Dublin so that aspect won't be much improved.

Ursus Horribilis

Is there any major city where rent won't take away a large chunk of your wages?

BBFAN

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Is there any major city where rent won't take away a large chunk of your wages?

This is it, it's all relative. My son travels the world at the moment for work and says as much as he gives out about Dublin there isn't any city that's cheap.

He had a 30 minute trip by taxi in London yesterday, 130 pounds sterling!!!

secman

99nsr125 wrote: »

Go to Canada
It's the best country in the world

Yeah but it's full of Canadians

secman

Early onset of mid life crisis ??