The ageing process

Do you worry about ageing? With regards to what you have accomplished or rather, not yet accomplished in life?

I am approaching 30 and am beating myself up about where I should be in life, what I should be doing, and what I should have accomplished by now. I think I'm giving in to societal pressures but I can't help it. Yesterday I spoke to a 49 year old that told me he was the same in his late twenties but that that feeling of not being where you "should be" and the roof caving in so to speak eventually went away, and now he could not care less about age.

It was interesting to get another perspective for sure, and I'd like to hear AH's thoughts on the ageing process and what it means to you?

endacl

Every year I get older.
Every year I give less of a fcuk.

That’s it, really. I don’t give 45 fcuks at the moment.

mad muffin

I don’t care about accomplishing anything or not. I just don’t want to get old and all that goes with it.

endacl

mad muffin wrote: »

I don’t care about accomplishing anything or not. I just don’t want to get old and all that goes with it.

Give it time. You won’t give many fcuks!

DEFTLEFTHAND

I turned 30 late last year. It worried me the entire year, I felt like a man on death row with an impending execution date.

Then it passed and I felt great, can't wait to hit 40 next.

I'm not fully where I want to be either but I can see things falling into place and my confidence growing, I'm much more comfortable in myself now. I was insecure in my late teens, early 20s.

DEFTLEFTHAND

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I turned 30 late last year. It worried me the entire year, I felt like a man on death row with an impending execution date.

Then it passed and I felt great, can't wait to hit 40 next.

I'm not fully where I want to be either but I can see things falling into place and my confidence growing, I'm much more comfortable in myself now. I was insecure in my late teens, early 20s.

I'm soon to turn 29, feel like my life will end once I hit the big 3-0.

Crazy! :pac:

mad muffin

endacl wrote: »

Give it time. You won’t give many fcuks!

I will go kicking and screaming. FÜCK YOU CELLS!!!

Roger Hassenforder

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Do you worry about ageing? With regards to what you have accomplished or rather, not yet accomplished in life?

I am approaching 30 and am beating myself up about where I should be in life, what I should be doing, and what I should have accomplished by now. I think I'm giving in to societal pressures but I can't help it. Yesterday I spoke to a 49 year old that told me he was the same in his late twenties but that that feeling of not being where you "should be" and the roof caving in so to speak eventually went away, and now he could not care less about age.

It was interesting to get another perspective for sure, and I'd like to hear AH's thoughts on the ageing process and what it means to you?

"Approaching 30"....
FFS
The sooner you realise there is no place you "should be", only the place you are and what you make of it, is what matters. You've made it this far. Thats an accomplishment in itself. Dont look at what you've to do; look at what you've done.

Most importantly, stop giving a tiny shıt what other people think. Do what brings you happiness. Do what decreases want.
Be self aware rather than worry what others think of you.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm soon to turn 29, feel like my life will end once I hit the big 3-0.

Crazy! :pac:

It's a definite milestone, kind of the end of youth in a way. You can't really get away with certain things anymore. :pac:

But sure fck in the grand scheme of things there's no point in getting too caught up in it, the best part of your life is still ahead of ya.

Zorya

I LOVE the ageing process! Absolutely LOVE it. It sure as hell beats the alternative.

Roger Hassenforder

This girl is woke

https://twitter.com/StateOfLinkedIn/status/1081231108497436674?s=19

Galwayguy35

Just turned 44 and I'm happy as Larry, we only have one life so no point wasting it worrying about getting older when there's nothing we can do about it.

Balanadan

Deleted User wrote: »

Do you worry about ageing? With regards to what you have accomplished or rather, not yet accomplished in life?

I am approaching 30 and am beating myself up about where I should be in life, what I should be doing, and what I should have accomplished by now. I think I'm giving in to societal pressures but I can't help it. Yesterday I spoke to a 49 year old that told me he was the same in his late twenties but that that feeling of not being where you "should be" and the roof caving in so to speak eventually went away, and now he could not care less about age.

It was interesting to get another perspective for sure, and I'd like to hear AH's thoughts on the ageing process and what it means to you?

I always remember a buddy of mine in his 30s telling me life was far more enjoyable than it was in his 20s. Something to look forward to. There's no point in getting hung up on where you think you should be, we all move along different paths at different speeds, choose your own path and enjoy it.

Ariadne

Could have written this post myself. I'd achieved a reasonable amount by the age of 28 and since then I've spiralled down into a black hole. I turned 30 in July and I'm unemployed and living at home with my parents. Never learned how to drive. I have Cystic Fibrosis and mental health problems so not sure if I will be able to work again. I dread every birthday as my physical health declines and I see how little I've achieved as I age.

Mister Vain

When you get to 30 you give up counting. When you get to 40 you just give up.

Agricola

When I was a kid, I used to wonder why footballers all seemed to retire around the 35 mark. Now I know.


Time for a nice sitdown I think!

30 is the old age of youth, 40 is the youth of old age - Victor Hugo

wakka12

Ageing sucks in many ways but when you know people who have died young you feel lucky to have the privilege to age as well

wakka12

Ramone Silva wrote: »

What can't you get away with after 30?

People are a lot easier on younger people in many work environments for examples. I used to look quite young for my age and definitely got babied by other colleagues because of it,people have more patience for your mistakes if you look young, its helpful to look young!

alexmalalex

Folks, the most important thing to know is that ageing is a process of discovery...you discover new things wring with you every day.

DEFTLEFTHAND

wakka12 wrote: »

People are a lot easier on younger people in many work environments for examples. I used to look quite young for my age and definitely got babied by other colleagues because of it,people have more patience for your mistakes if you look young, its helpful to look young!

It can be both a blessing and a curse. I'm a good bit younger looking. It's a gene we all seem to have in the family. The auld lad is 67 and looks 50.

I still get asked for ID a lot which is embarrassing when you're bleedin 30.

thesultan

I'm not financially sound. I have a low income. My hair is receding . I am not married yet. My relationship is not going great. I'm going to retire from hurling soon. I haven't enough money to build my own house. .

Zorya

thesultan wrote: »

I'm not financially sound. I have a low income. My hair is receding . I am not married yet. My relationship is not going great. I'm going to retire from hurling soon. I haven't enough money to build my own house. .

Keep writing. There's your first paragraph. I see an Adrian Mole style bestseller.

work

Guys cop on make what you can from what you have. nobody can have everything all the time. Be happy for what you have, the years spent and the time available...relish it.
Remember a quote something like "the last smell of flowers is the sweetest"...Try and live life like everything you do is the last time because it could be and enjoy it fully.
Alternatively waste your time and life about things you cannot control. This might seem simplified but it's your choice.

honeybear

Hitting mid 40’s. What I notice most is the extra pounds-in my 30’s I was a carefree eater and my daily walks kept me in shape. Now, the pounds come on easily & are very hard to lose despite my daily walks. I’m trying to be more accepting of the ageing process. I found a photo recently of me 10 years ago and I looked super-I can remember at the time thinking I didn’t.

Church on Tuesday

Meh

It's a cliche but age is just a number.

I'm 31, this is the decade were I hope to achieve certain things, no doubt it will be a busy one hopefully.

Frankly I don't miss my twenties, a lot of growing pains, emotional fallout and all round bull**** that I was happy to leave behind a little over one year ago.

Us men get better with age anyways

Edit:
And women too of course

Tuco88

Rocked into the 30s last month... And wow everything's the same great ��.

Much happer at 30 than 29. Any age with a 9 is only for folks to annoy ya with ohhhhh "With that inhaling sound" almost xx now.... ehhh so? im glad to thanks.

Life is way to short imo, expectations usually set by others. Its actually amazing what people cant accept because "everbody else" follwed by the had and have and such age.

All in good time...flock em.

Roger Hassenforder

thesultan wrote: »

I'm not financially sound. I have a low income. My hair is receding . I am not married yet. My relationship is not going great. I'm going to retire from hurling soon. I haven't enough money to build my own house. .

Theres always junior B hurling....

Graces7

As an almost-octagenarian who has finally ( almost! ) learned to be deeply thankful to be alive...

("almost" referring to the annoying and painful process of getting of bed, being unable to reach into bottom cupboards etc! OUCH!)

Life is not about what you achieve i n the usual sense. Wealth, position etc, I have been ill and thus no income, for fifty years, There are so many ways to fulfil and enjoy life however limited you are

Many far better ways than what the world values are.

And you can and need to grow into the stage you are at? For me, letting go of old ways to adapt to old days. Loving what I still have and can do. Fo rme that means the knitting work I do to supprt work my faith family do rescuing abandoned babies..... Reaching out , not getting so introverted..

Looking at the first of my forced indoor hyacinths; white and fragrant... A world in itself.... Just being and living. Enjoying food, walking gently... gazing at the sweet wild ocean and wider soft skies. Life is a gift and a giving. Ageing is a natural part of life. Not an alien force.

NSAman

Teens - full of angst
Twenties - work and uncertainty
Thirties - pressure and more uncertainty
Forties - absolute blast, more freedom financial and personal.
Fifties - who gives a ****, I am enjoying myself and dont give a **** what anyone else thinks. OK the odd pain and ache but what the hell...

Never thought I would make it to my 50s but I have, and I can honestly say, I am having so much fun. Hated when I was younger, never had money to do anything I wanted, worked and worked and still stood still. Was always looking at everyone else wondering how do they do it. Comparing myself to others, how come they have a nice house/car/stuff. How do they go on holiday a few times a year.

Now, they are all wondering how I have the nice stuff and travel extensively... you know what though? Stuff means F*** ALL... its all about enjoying life and family and friends, nothing else matters and if you are with people who care about you, life is great.

McCrack

honeybear wrote: »

Hitting mid 40’s. What I notice most is the extra pounds-in my 30’s I was a carefree eater and my daily walks kept me in shape. Now, the pounds come on easily & are very hard to lose despite my daily walks. I’m trying to be more accepting of the ageing process. I found a photo recently of me 10 years ago and I looked super-I can remember at the time thinking I didn’t.

If your calorie maintenance is less than before just eat less

There's no mystery between a person's weight and the amount of food they consume

NSAman

McCrack wrote: »

If your calorie maintenance is less than before just eat less

There's no mystery between a person's weight and the amount of food they consume

While I understand your logic, in practice it doesn’t work... its called a slowing metabolism.

I eat the same, exercise the same and in fact even more, but the stomach still exists.

Simple answer,,, liposuction..;)

NSAman

Ramone Silva wrote: »

What I'd do is focus on weight training and high intensity cardio work. Eat high protein, high fat and a low carb diet.

Already done. I dont give a crap but a lot of people do. We all try to make ourselves look presentable but in all honesty, I dont care unless I start looking like a whale, then it is back to the personal trainer, chef etc.

If you can move and enjoy exercise it makes you more mobile and less “aged”..lol

harr

Mid 40,s here one bit of advice is look after the body in your 30,s ... as mentioned above my metabolism is slowing down considerably now and definitely the aches and pains are more noticeable now and I definitely can’t train to the same level I did in my 20,s or 30,s.
I could eat what I wanted in my early 30,s because I could always train hard to counteract the poor enough eating habits.

Wibbs

Never noticed my metabolism slowing down TBH. I was never a foodie and only eat when hungry so there's that. Same weight/measurements at 51 I was at 21. The men on both sides of my family are thin and stay that way. Some are big into exercise, some are not, none are "big eaters", so it seems to be mostly genetic.

Graces7

Wibbs wrote: »

Never noticed my metabolism slowing down TBH. I was never a foodie and only eat when hungry so there's that. Same weight/measurements at 51 I was at 21. The men on both sides of my family are thin and stay that way. Some are big into exercise, some are not, none are "big eaters", so it seems to be mostly genetic.

When I was weighed recently I was exactly the same as when I left school, over 5 decades ago. Just over 9 stone..

There have been.... blips.... in between ( Oh BOY there have been blips ; underweight as well as overweight)

But interesting that when i stopped worrying, it all settled. Only weighed as when I was in our community centre and saw scales..

NSAman

Graces7 wrote: »

When I was weighed recently I was exactly the same as when I left school, over 5 decades ago. Just over 9 stone..

There have been.... blips.... in between ( Oh BOY there have been blips ; underweight as well as overweight)

But interesting that when i stopped worrying, it all settled. Only weighed as when I was in our community centre and saw scales..

lucky you, I was a big sports head when younger, although not fat, I was never thin... when I left school I was 21 stone. 6’3. Currently around the 17 stone mark. Need to loose another stone to be back to my best weight, that’ll happen by end of summer... nothing like a good work out to sort this all out.

BUT, it is not as easy as it was when I was younger. Knees are crooked after years of sport, hence the jogging is no longer. Low impact and yoga are great also....

mloc123

Some days I get out of bed after a long run or cycle the previous day and feel stiff and slow.... My fear in life is getting out of bed every day feeling like that.

enfield

OK here we go. Differences between a young man and a 66 year old, by a 66 year old.
Avoid negative people, they will only drag you down. The the sexual urge is dimmed by medication for blood pressure and cholesterol which can be a kind of blessing as you are not held hostage to it anymore. If it happens its on your relaxed rules or not at all and either way you are ok with that. I found that after being laid off for the last ten years I have learned to cook more (and save money) to live within a budget, give up smoking and drinking in pubs. Took up making home made wine and walking the dog four times a day which helps with the medication. Outlook on life is positive and relaxed. Walk into every situation listening and accepting, no need to make a decision immediately, and if a decision is required let the hair settle before you decide. After a long time living on 'the clippings of tin' you will have learned what a waste of money cigarettes and pub booze are. If you must smoke go the vaper way, if you must drink don't drink in pubs. Empathy increases with age, speaking as a man that is. You notice that staff in shops etc treat you as if you are decrepit and without much intelligence which is more of an amusement than something to take offence at. Then when the old age pension comes along you will find you are better off financially, but as you are living frugally you can save a few bob. You know the end is coming and have had a long few years to come to terms with it. Personally I am fine with it, and it holds no terror. When I stand in front of my maker, whoever or whatever he/it may be what is in my heart will be my judge, not any Church.
So basically age is life's valium, when the sexual side of your makeup is curtailed by the aging process, everything is much more relaxed, God bless it.

Zorya

Make sure and have good ageing inspirations.

I have a male friend who is early seventies. He plays tennis a lot and he is very handsome. He knows a lot about literature and philosophy. And many weird subjects which are fascinating. He is big into mountain walking. He is really very very handsome, though obviously an older man. Tanned, slim, smiling.
Really he makes being 70+ look sexy, adventurous and fun. Which makes me at 51 feel like a mere child I am grateful to him for that.

NSAman

enfield wrote: »

OK here we go. Differences between a young man and a 66 year old, by a 66 year old.
The the sexual urge is dimmed by medication for blood pressure and cholesterol which can be a kind of blessing as you are not held hostage to it anymore. If it happens its on your relaxed rules or not at all and either way you are ok with that. I found that after being laid off for the last ten years I have learned to cook more (and save money) to live within a budget, give up smoking and drinking in pubs. Took up making home made wine and walking the dog four times a day which helps with the medication. Outlook on life is positive and relaxed. Walk into every situation listening and accepting, no need to make a decision immediately, and if a decision is required let the hair settle before you decide. After a long time living on 'the clippings of tin' you will have learned what a waste of money cigarettes and pub booze are. If you must smoke go the vaper way, if you must drink don't drink in pubs. Empathy increases with age, speaking as a man that is. You notice that staff in shops etc treat you as if you are decrepit and without much intelligence which is more of an amusement than something to take offence at. Then when the old age pension comes along you will find you are better off financially, but as you are living frugally you can save a few bob. You know the end is coming and have had a long few years to come to terms with it. Personally I am fine with it, and it holds no terror. When I stand in front of my maker, whoever or whatever he/it may be what is in my heart will be my judge, not any Church.
So basically age is life's valium, when the sexual side of your makeup is curtailed by the aging process, everything is much more relaxed, God bless it.

Oh jaysus... thanks for the post.

It is all about Positive Mental Thoughts (yes ladies PMT). If you think younger you look younger and hate to say it act younger.

I know friends who are the same age as I am who look 70 and act it also. I know 80 year old I could go clubbing with (ok that may not be the correct term now... I ain’t “street”).

Humour and having a laugh is the elixir of youth I am convinced. Dour people age quickly, people who can see humour in almost anything age slower.... just a personal observation.

Sexually, we all slow down to a varying degree. Certainly, you ain’t going to be up all night (cough) but nothing is ruled out.

Some of the funniest and most enjoyable people I know are in their 70’s. They just want to enjoy life without the pressures of having to conform to their age....

Day Lewin

Cannot believe how many on this thread equate "approaching 30" with "ageing" !!

(Well obviously everyone is getting older one day at a time from the moment they are conceived: - and at the same rate, too)

but aside from that technical description, nobody would call 30 "aged" - or 40, either.

From the half-century onwards, one may be said to be nicely aged, like whiskey or wine.

FVcks given = less each year.

honeybear

harr wrote: »

Mid 40,s here one bit of advice is look after the body in your 30,s ... as mentioned above my metabolism is slowing down considerably now and definitely the aches and pains are more noticeable now and I definitely can’t train to the same level I did in my 20,s or 30,s.
I could eat what I wanted in my early 30,s because I could always train hard to counteract the poor enough eating habits.

This is me exactly!

Graces7

mloc123 wrote: »

Some days I get out of bed after a long run or cycle the previous day and feel stiff and slow.... My fear in life is getting out of bed every day feeling like that.

Ah you get used to it and then hardly notice ie.. old lady I knew once who was doubled up with arthritis and osteoporosis used to say there were two men in her bedroom. Arthur Itis. and Will Power .

honeybear

Ramone Silva wrote: »

For anyone who is feeling aches and pains as they get older, I'd recommend homemade bone broth, it helps prtect the body against the effects of aging.

Aargh! Vegetarian here-don’t like the sound of “bone broth”!

Graces7

Zorya wrote: »

Make sure and have good ageing inspirations.

I have a male friend who is early seventies. He plays tennis a lot and he is very handsome. He knows a lot about literature and philosophy. And many weird subjects which are fascinating. He is big into mountain walking. He is really very very handsome, though obviously an older man. Tanned, slim, smiling.
Really he makes being 70+ look sexy, adventurous and fun. Which makes me at 51 feel like a mere child I am grateful to him for that.

He is very very fortunate then.. and to my mind not as much to be admired as those of his age who have serious health and mobility issues and still smile and enjoy life.....

Zorya

Graces7 wrote: »

He is very very fortunate then.. and to my mind not as much to be admired as those of his age who have serious health and mobility issues and still smile and enjoy life.....

He is far from the only one I know. My father in law is 75 and a whizz-kid still, just thought it would be a bit weird to suggest he is sexy :pac:

thesultan

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

thesultan wrote: »

I'm not financially sound. I have a low income. My hair is receding . I am not married yet. My relationship is not going great. I'm going to retire from hurling soon. I haven't enough money to build my own house. .

Theres always junior B hurling....

Nah senior or nothing really with me

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Zorya wrote: »

He is far from the only one I know. My father in law is 75 and a whizz-kid still, just thought it would be a bit weird to suggest he is sexy :pac:

I'm 75 in a few weeks and would concur with you. Most people I know at my age are active and still productive members of society . We're by no means all infirm and riddled with aches. Positive attitude and keeping active renders age just numbers for many people,.

Zorya

Tristian Nutritious Hoe wrote: »

I'm 75 in a few weeks and would concur with you. Most people I know at my age are active and still productive members of society . We're by no means all infirm and riddled with aches. Positive attitude and keeping active renders age just numbers for many people,.

Yes. Positive attitude is really important. I laugh very easily and at stupid things that no one else finds funny, thank goodness, and it is what saves me. Even in the absolute worst of times I still managed to keep some sense of humour. So far, at least and fingers crossed.

And I think all of us are sensible enough to know some of the physical stuff is luck. Some is down to effort, but some is chance. But bad luck can come at any time, so it is not just reserved for ageing.

No age group or no person has the monopoly on suffering, we all get our share of that. Life is not for wussies.

Roger Hassenforder

thesultan wrote: »

Nah senior or nothing really with me

This maybe where you're going wrong - setting too high expectations!

Better to soar like an eagle in JuniorB than waddle like a pigeon in senior.
Old Cherokee proverb.