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Think I want a baby but terrified

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    #32
    ShaShaBear
    Registered Users Posts: 5,528 ✭✭✭ShaShaBear


    I have to agree with sentiments in this thread - I know several people who are childless by choice (women and men) and all of them said that the decision was 100% constantly a no. None of them pondered it, laboured over it or went back and forth. I also know plenty of parents who did the above and ultimately went on to have kids. I have two myself and personally it was an easy yes - kids were something I always wanted and I have some minor medical issues that I was aware could complicate things as I got older.

    There is no right or wrong time to have a child, only right or wrong reasons.


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    #33
    Goldenlady
    Registered Users Posts: 342 ✭✭Goldenlady


    Op, if you feel you want a baby go for it. I jist had my son 6 months ago, he was a pleasant surprise at 38 year's of age!!!! But he's just the best thing ever. My career will be there, ill have to somehow manage both. It is tough on relationships, my partner & I had some crazy arguments... but you just need to talk it through. I didnt think i could love and hate him at once ha. Good luck with your decision x


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    #34
    Caranica
    Registered Users Posts: 10,072 ✭✭✭✭Caranica


    ShaShaBear wrote: »
    I have to agree with sentiments in this thread - I know several people who are childless by choice (women and men) and all of them said that the decision was 100% constantly a no. None of them pondered it, laboured over it or went back and forth. I also know plenty of parents who did the above and ultimately went on to have kids. I have two myself and personally it was an easy yes - kids were something I always wanted and I have some minor medical issues that I was aware could complicate things as I got older.

    There is no right or wrong time to have a child, only right or wrong reasons.

    Precisely this. I'm almost 42 and not for one second of my life did I want kids. And I'm very happy, as are several of my friends who made similar decisions. I think that deep down you either want kids or you don't OP. It sounds to me like you do.


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    #35
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    If you want a child, have one. It is ok to be scared. I'm due to be a Dad soon for the first time at 28 years of age and I'd like to share some thoughts.

    I've never even held a child, and I'm pretty terrified. I used to think I'd never want kids but that all changed when I deeply examined my reason for this. I came to the conclusion that my reason was that I was too selfish. I was too caught up in the materialistic culture we live in that tells us to get the most out of life for ourselves, whether that's through money, travel, a good career, multiple sexual partners, the latest gadgets, etc.

    Having travelled all over the world, built up decent savings, and established a career online from scratch that I enjoy, I then wondered why none of these things were making me happy or fulfilled. The reason was that I had never sacrificed myself for something other than myself. Developing a career online was done for me, travelling was done for me. Taking care of a child is done to protect the child, nurture their growth, and ensure they become a decent person.

    That's why I decided to have a kid; to bring life into this world and sacrifice some of my own selfishness for the selflessness of raising a kid. You can be selfless in other ways, such as through volunteering, but bringing a child into this world and raising her is my chosen form of selflessness. I don't know how it'll work out, but I am looking forward to it, and I have a deep-seated feeling that it will be fine. Good luck with your decision.


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    #36
    TheBoyConor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,292 ✭✭✭TheBoyConor


    Congratulations and fair play to you for deciding to have a child.
    I would say 28 is quite young for a guy to have a child.

    Since you have chosen to do this I'm sure you are ahead of many and will be a great dad. A great many men only become fathers by accident rather than conscious intent.

    Did you have a partner when you decided to have a child or did you decide first and then go and find a willing partner?


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    #37
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,411 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    Mod note:

    @TheBoyConor, your post is not directed at the OP. As I'm sure you are well aware by now, off topic discussion is not allowed in PI. Please do not post again unless you have constructive advice for the OP.


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