How do I make a move on this guy to get to know him outside work?

vectorvictor

sj_jj wrote: »

I have no problem asking him but I’m just conscious now he’s not interested and don’t know how to reply as he clearly cut me off my saying anyway enjoy your weekend. I know he’s working all weekend so can’t ask him what he’s doing. I’m stuck because to me he’s saying ok thanks I don’t want to continue the conversation now so I literally don’t know what to say back

From an outside perspective I think you are overanalyzing this to death (which to be fair is normal when you are into someone and trying to piece everything together)

If your best friend messaged you back enjoy your weekend would you think they never wanted to see you again?

HeidiHeidi

"You too! Any nice plans apart from the dreaded work?"

That's not a conversation ender (except on your head).

Commanchie

Its a situation to just grow a pair and put it out there. Like everyone has already said.

"Enjoy yours too, Much planned, Im heading out tomorrow"

Leave it open ended.

Damien360

sj_jj wrote: »

I have no problem asking him but I’m just conscious now he’s not interested and don’t know how to reply as he clearly cut me off my saying anyway enjoy your weekend. I know he’s working all weekend so can’t ask him what he’s doing. I’m stuck because to me he’s saying ok thanks I don’t want to continue the conversation now so I literally don’t know what to say back

It's a Saturday night. Ask him if he is going out and would he fancy meeting you out. Drinks would be a nice start....not too cryptic and with any luck he reads between the lines. Unless it is night work.

sj_jj

I’m at a wedding and I know he’s working though. Not making excuses just wondering what else could I ask. I genuinely do want to ask him about an exam he done that I’m thinking of doing but don’t know if I want to just go straight in asking him about it

completedit

Maaaaaan stop overthinking it, chances are he does like you.

MarkR

There's no shame in asking someone out. You're both adults. You have nothing to lose.

Worst case scenario, he's not interested.

LegacyUser

OP I think you are overthinking and over analysing. However I think we've all been in your situation and done the same!

I recently asked a girl from work for a coffee, while it was "just" a coffee my "romantic intentions" were clear. I was very interested in her and thought she was too. Look, she said no but I'm still glad I went for it. You have no idea how much I procrastinated, over thought everything etc etc. At least now I know. I've seen her since in the office and it's not as awkward as I thought it would be. We're both adults - I'm sure she's used to being asked out (though maybe not by colleagues!) He's leaving - so any awkwardness will be for a limited time period anyhow.

Go for it. Plenty of ways to do it:

e.g. lunch before he leaves, this can sound innocent. When there say you've wanted to ask him for a drink/coffee for ages and would he be interested. If he's not single he'll say. Unless he's an arsehole he'll do this politely. You'll be let down but in the "best" possible way. He'll be gone not long after and you'll move on

Or just message him that you've wanted to ask him for a drink/coffee for ages (this is what I did)

Others may have other ways of approaching it - I'm sure they'll advise

Rck888746

You are really overthinking this, OP.

Use the exam to start the conversation again on FB and then after this subject is over, ask him if he would like to get some drinks.

gwalk

You're 28 years old not 15

Just spit it out already, if you don't ask him out someone else will

smokie72

OP I ask a woman out of work a few years ago. Yes it was nerve wrecking but the reason I did it was because I was starting to overthink it and realising it wasn't good for me. Anyway she wanted just to remain friends. It was a little bit awkward afterwards but I felt much better that I had the courage to ask her out. It was a weight of my mind and then I was able to focus on other things and move on. Another time I asked another girl out on facebook messaging and went for a date. You got nothing to lose. Fortune favours the brave....

witchgirl26

OP you're completely overthinking this. I asked a guy in work out via Facebook before just by asking him straight if he'd take me out for a drink. He hadn't even thought about me like that before but we went out and 7 years later, we live together and expecting first child. Him not asking you out is not a sign of anything, him not creating conversations on Facebook is not a sign of anything.

If you want a definitive answer, just ask him out for a drink some evening. If he's leaving and says no, then at least you only have to deal with any awkwardness for a little bit before he goes. If he says yes, then happy days but the only way to know is just to send that first message.

Otherwise you'll always be left wondering.