Im single /Shes not

SusieBlue

The only thing worse than someone who cheats on their partner while in a committed relationship is this type of people who willingly, intentionally pursue people who are taken.

You seem to have built the situation up into some sort of star crossed lovers, Romeo & Juliet style scenario. This girl has no respect for herself, for her boyfriend, or for you.

If you absolutely must pursue this headwrecking melter of a woman, please take a massive step back & do not go any further until she ends her relationship.
How would you feel if you were in her bf's shoes? Would you like to have the same done to you?
It sounds like she's just using you as a distraction because she's bored. Dating is a lot more straightforward and has a lot less drama when both partners are actually single.

The answer to your problem is actually in the title of your OP: You're single, she's not. Its that simple.
Don't go sniffing around women who have boyfriends.

Alrigghtythen

If you see her daily, why did you need to give the number to your friend, to give to her, to pass on to her colleague?

She is a head wrecker and you are no better.

You knew she was in a relationship so you told her you like her. She is on holidays with the bf she is telling you she's not happy with.

You talking to her mother is odd. Her daughter is in a relationship, what did the mother advise? That you go for it?

Emme

Commanchie wrote: »

Older then u going by the 85 at end of the name.

Somebody born in 1985 would be 33. Which would make you older than 33. Her boyfriend is 40. Are you that age too? Would you be closer to her mother's age?

Your age doesn't matter. She is playing you for a fool and you are falling for it.

There are plenty of single women available of all ages who won't wreck your head. You'd be better off dating one of them.

leggo

Those who cheat with you cheat on you OP.

joeguevara

I started seeing a girl who had a long term boyfriend. Nothing happened before they broke up apart from a drunken score. The evening she broke up with him she called me and we were together. At the time I didn’t see it as a red flag as they had just finished college and she was starting a new chapter in her life. Also I was selfishly not thinking about him.

Two years later as we were starting a new chapter jobs wise she started cheating with someone more successful and established. Dawned and me she was doing to me what we had done to her ex. If someone cheats while in a long term relationship it shows a flaw. Yes it is exciting now but think about how you would feel if you were in his position. Because odds are you will be before long.

leggo

joeguevara wrote: »

I started seeing a girl who had a long term boyfriend. Nothing happened before they broke up apart from a drunken score. The evening she broke up with him she called me and we were together. At the time I didn’t see it as a red flag as they had just finished college and she was starting a new chapter in her life. Also I was selfishly not thinking about him.

Two years later as we were starting a new chapter jobs wise she started cheating with someone more successful and established. Dawned and me she was doing to me what we had done to her ex. If someone cheats while in a long term relationship it shows a flaw. Yes it is exciting now but think about how you would feel if you were in his position. Because odds are you will be before long.

Yep. In general I find a lot of people have ‘break-up patterns’. It’s a tough thing to do so obviously we find a way that works for our own individual personality: some do it via text, some ghost or disappear, some are really healthy, others cheat. But it’s always worth sussing out what a partner’s pattern is because it’s likely to repeat itself if things don’t work out.

John_D80

leggo wrote: »

Yep. In general I find a lot of people have ‘break-up patterns’. It’s a tough thing to do so obviously we find a way that works for our own individual personality: some do it via text, some ghost or disappear, some are really healthy, others cheat. But it’s always worth sussing out what a partner’s pattern is because it’s likely to repeat itself if things don’t work out.

This is so true. I know a woman who has been in the same break-up pattern since her mid teens. She is in her early forties now and I’m quite confident saying she has not been single a day since was about 16. 7 or 8 serious long term relationships in that time have all overlapped and ended with her moving on to her next partner before the previous relationship was over. Nearly 30 years she’s doing it.

The past does repeat itself in relationships. OP needs to be very wary.

Penny Tration

I've been in her poor boyfriend's position recently and here's what I can tell you -

He hasn't a clue. She's still sleeping with him. She's still telling him she loves him.


My ex's affair partner was like you - willing to jump into a relationship before he ended things with me.

And he didn't. He didn't end things with me. Not at first. They carried on for months and months behind my back, all the while he's telling me how much he loves me and wants to marry me. 5 years too.


Do you know why we actually broke up? Because I nearly died and couldn't have sex for a few months due to the surgery I needed to save my life. When he realised we couldn't have sex, that's when he ended it. When I was in hospital with sepsis, he was with her. That's how cruel and uncaring these kind of people are.


Then while he was with her, he was still begging me to fix things. Ten minutes before I finally told him to shag off, he was on a date with her and texting me about how he'll always love me.


Even when we ended things, he wasn't faithful to her. Just like she won't be faithful to you.

If she cheated with you, she'll cheat on you.


All you're doing is breaking the heart of an innocent guy who deserves better.


Move on, find someone who isn't a cheater. She WILL do the same to you.

sbsquarepants

Hitman3000 wrote: »

Maybe it's really the mom he wants. Like the song Stacey's Mom.

Well in fairness, she did have it going on:D

Commanchie wrote: »

I know the mother 13 years. I only met the daughter few months ago.

When you knew the mother 13 years ago did you not notice she had a 14 year old daughter (Stacey?)- who you now want to hook up with.

You also popped around and brought this matter up - "so, you know Stacey is away with her boyfriend" "yeah" "well, when she get's back, I want to bang her a little bit, you ok with that"?

Hmmmm.

I doubt the veracity of this tale to be blunt!

Sephiroth_dude

Here's what you do.......LEAVE HER ALONE!

Mr. Incognito

I echo all these comments.

I lived with my ex for 3 years. She was seeing a lad behind my back, whilst on study leave while I paid her rent.

Then we went on a holiday and she was skyping him every time my back was turned.

She would also go meet her "friends" for drinks.

In the end I copped it, checked her email and all their whatsapp messages were backed up.

I went to the bar and told her to come get all her **** and get out. Thank God I did and had that strength.

She was all apologies but of course kept seeing that lad till he got bored of her and dumped her two months later.

Long story short some people are addicted to the thrill of a new relationship and that initial infactuation phase.

You are in that phase too. When it wears off. And it will. It always does. She will be bad mouthing you to her colleagues and riding the next lad who is cute that hits on her at work.

You have an opportunity right now to ruin your life for the sake of a beautiful blonde.

Everyone here is telling you the same thing. We had to learn the hard way.

The absolute best thing you could do is take a step back. As soon as you do you will see that she doesnt dump the boyfriend but will leech away till the next infactuation comes along.

She has no character. And neither do you.