Fighting for places under the coffin at my granny’s funeral

uck51js9zml2yt

irishguitarlad wrote: »

By chrisht dats a fright to God. Aru from Shcartaglin?

Couldn't be. Sure they don't use coffins in Scart
Feed the bodies to the birds so I've heard!

super_furry

So are you riding the cousin or what?

bucketybuck

She ain't heavy, she's your sister.

ouxbbkqtswdfaw

I had been asked by a local farmer to spread some slurry for him. I didn't manage to get to him for a few weeks. His wife died suddenly and I went along to sympathise with the family. At the funeral parlour there was much bawling and wailing. I moved along shaking hands with the bereaved saying "sorry for your trouble". When I got to the farmer himself, he grabbed my hand and said "when are you coming to spread the stuff?".

TomSweeney

Its always sad when families act up at funerals, you'd think they could just let personal vendettas rest for the day.
And I'm not judging you OP, we all have it.

Recently at my wifes granny funeral my brother in law kicked up a fuss with the Priest, cos he said there was no such place as hell.
He went mental, he has become a fundamentalist nutter - they calmed him down , but then at the graveyard he was at it again - lunatic.

lulu1

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

Coffin carrying is mens work, men only.

Who made the rules

cursai

Should've pushed her in before the coffin. At least your granny would get a soft bounce. God rest her soul.

lulu1

Waiting patiently on the next thrilling instalment

Purple Mountain

lulu1 wrote: »

Waiting patiently on the next thrilling instalment

Is this going to be another Trent?

scwazrh

Was anyone else surprised by the weight of a coffin the first time you carried it

verycool

lulu1 wrote: »

Who made the rules

Evolution.

Poor old Granddad and Dad, having to put up with the OP and assorted others petty squabbles and selfish dramas on the day they bury their wife/mother.

KK4SAM

Are ya finished with the sun glasses ?

Carry

Thanks for this story and for most of the replies! (And sorry for your loss, OP).

This story confirms one of the many reasons why I love to live in Ireland: The Irish know how to throw a party and a decent riot, be it at a funeral, a wedding, first communion or whatnot.

All the grudges and begrudgeries among extended families, the whole ritual, the interferers and the hacking orders, the nervous breakdowns, the tears, the glee, the miffed and the elated, and all ends up in a serious session, ultimately celebrating life with all the ups and downs.
As it should be, I think.

johnty56

Carry wrote: »

Thanks for this story and for most of the replies! (And sorry for your loss, OP).

This story confirms one of the many reasons why I love to live in Ireland: The Irish know how to throw a party and a decent riot, be it at a funeral, a wedding, first communion or whatnot.

All the grudges and begrudgeries among extended families, the whole ritual, the interferers and the hacking orders, the nervous breakdowns, the tears, the glee, the miffed and the elated, and all ends up in a serious session, ultimately celebrating life with all the ups and downs.
As it should be, I think.

That's Ballykissangel youre thinking of. Ah begorrah so it is.

decky1

can see this happening with my wife's family, her father is 90,hope he lives a lot longer but i know the funeral will be a Circus.

Conchurl

lulu1 wrote: »

Who made the rules

I’m fairly sure Jesus made the rule

Roger Hassenforder

Sorry for your loss OP, but sure twas an ease in the end.

con___manx1

I wouldnt like to be carrying that heavy girl in a coffin. Absolute bitch. Its a pity people like her exist.

lulu1

Conchurl wrote: »

I’m fairly sure Jesus made the rule

Oh well in that case who are we to disobey?

Annasopra

Thats nice. Do you want a medal

lulu1

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Thats nice. Do you want a medal

Yes please

Annasopra

lulu1 wrote: »

Yes please

I meant the OP

mightyreds

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

lulu1 wrote: »

Yes please

I meant the OP

If there's any left I'll take one

lulu1

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

I meant the OP

Well he probably deserves one for putting up with that lot.

Give it to him so

I will go without

mfceiling

Have you tried facebook OP?

JohnMc1

Resverathrole wrote: »

My grandad decided on the two teams to go under the coffin. All seemed fine until the night before the funeral, when my dad got a call from my drama-queen auntie, who announced “I’ve a girl here (30 years old btw) who’s very upset”. It turned out that her daughter was upset that she wasn’t under the coffin, and this auntie of mine wanted a third team under the coffin, that would include her two heavy daughters. It would be a bit ridiculous with these two under the coffin, who albeit heavy women, are about 5 ft 7 in tall… and to be alongside the likes of myself, at 6 ft 2 in! Anyway, my father’s words to her before he hung up were “there’s no point in confusing everything at this stage all over some grandchild”. Unknowst to my dad this really upset my auntie, who by the time the removal came, wasn’t talking to him.

The next day, when I arrived in the door of the grandparent’s house, I hear my name being yelled out by one of these heavy daughters. “Gee, look at the sunglasses”. Apparently I looked like security in the shades with the suit on. She went completely overboard about it though. Before I know it a whole load of people have entered the room to look at me, making jokes and what not. I say “calm down now, it’s only a pair of sunglasses”. But she won’t take a hint. Then knowing I might feel a bit awkward with everyone looking at me, she starts getting sarcastic saying “oh doesn’t he look great”. In trying to diffuse the awkwardness I lamely said “oh you look good too” (she’s the size of a hippo). She then sarcastically said “oh thanks Jonathan”. Looking at her, and thinking of all the drama she had created the night before, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I said “so I hear there’s a certain two young women fighting for a place under the coffin”! She then got up close to me saying “we’re not fighting for it at all, I think it’s only fair that blah blah blah”. I turn my back on her and eventually she begins to show frustration. This frustrations leads to the other sister to start crying. I then just feel bad thinking I'm putting myself before the funeral and all. But at that moment her auntie enters the room, who has just been persuaded by my dad to drop the whole idea.

My father gives out stink to me later, while I manage to keep a straight face. After that, when we were all saying our final good byes before closing the coffin, the three heavy women from that family (mother included) were clearly winning the crying competition. We’re then all asked to leave except the immediate family for the actual closing. But one of these daughters stays! The grandfather kicks her out a few moments later! This drama auntie then creates tension at the church. My dad’s family had agreed to have my uncle, who inherited the farm and who knew the locals, to sit outside my grandad in case he wouldn’t remember all their names. Instead she sat there. For the sake of peace my dad’s sibling let her there.

At the church on the day of the funeral, the two daughters began to annoy the hell out of me. Before we were about the leave the church (when the first group were about the get under the coffin), one of them starting acting like she was running the show. She starts telling me to be ready for when the coffin is being changed. I said “you just look after yourself”. Then later on, outside the church, when I was discussing which side I’d go under with another coffin holder (brother of these two), the older and heavier daughter (32) did something that really pissed me off. She yells out in front of everyone “Jonathan could come up here please to be ready”! And me being on my way anyway probably looked like I was being told what to do.

And that’s only some of the drama that went on. So annoying.

Sorry for the loss of your Grandma. Your Granddad should have let the fat girls do it by themselves and when they fail they would have kept their mouths shut for the rest of the funeral. This is why you're better off having the funeral home handle everything. They won't put up with any kind of stupidity. Too many people trying to act like they're the one in charge otherwise.

jluv

scwazrh wrote: »

Was anyone else surprised by the weight of a coffin the first time you carried it

Not myself. But my brother. His friends dad. My brother is very tall so hard to match up with somebody. Watching him carrying in the
casket to the church was terrifying! All I kept thinking was he was going to lose it! He admitted himself that his legs were very shakey..

lawred2

What a load of f(king nonsense

Your Gran can rest now and not have to endure such utter shoite any more

Miss Demeanour

Ya know what....silver lining n all that....its not you they are fighting over.