Female Led Relationship - next wave feminism?

Dick Pickle

So one the lad’s missus has looked to move their marriage to an FLR. This is the first I’ve heard of this but apparently it’s a big thing in the States

https://www.aboutflr.com/What-Is-FLR.html

https://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/better-love/reasons-why-a-female-led-relationship-is-just-awesome

PlaneSpeeking

Dick Pickle wrote: »

So one the lad’s missus has looked to move their marriage to an FLR. This is the first I’ve heard of this but apparently it’s a big thing in the States

https://www.aboutflr.com/What-Is-FLR.html

https://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/better-love/reasons-why-a-female-led-relationship-is-just-awesome

Whaaaa ?

Stop this world, I've had enough!

Kevin Finnerty

Confirmed; Marriage is for wimps.

super_furry

You people need to stop spending all your time in 4chan and weird fringe American political websites.

Dick Pickle

Kevin Finnerty wrote: »

Confirmed; Marriage is for wimps.

The lad was always a bit of a dweeb. She was to go the whole hog and have him wear a chastity device so he can’t fap !!!

verycool

super_furry wrote: »

You people need to stop spending all your time in 4chan and weird fringe American political websites.

...like reddit. :pac:

hatrickpatrick

Before ye get the pitchforks out, FLR is not any sort of political movement or an attempt to socially engineer the masses. It's an extension of the FemDom kink which extends beyond the bedroom to every-day situations, and some people absolutely love it.

Nobody (that I know of) is talking about trying to engineer vanilla lads into accepting this against their will, it's a consensual arrangement between a dominant woman and submissive man. That's all. It's no different to being consensually tied up and whipped or punished in bed, except that they decide to extend it into everyday situations.

Obviously something like this is bound to be co-opted by a minority of Tumblr eejits into something that it's not, but by and large this isn't something to get pissed off about. And I'd know, being into femdom in the bedroom myself I've been pretty much immersed in this community and its terminology since I was 11 or 12 - and I definitely couldn't be accused of being an SJW or feminist

EDIT: The irony is, it's actually usually lads who push for this, when they have submissive kinks. Whether because of societal expectations or just because fewer women are naturally dominant I don't know, but it's usually the aforementioned lads' girlfriends who find it weird and are hard to convince that it might be fun. Femdom forums are littered with posts from lads wondering how they might broach this subject with their girlfriends, but very few (in comparison) posts from women trying to figure out how they could initiate something like this with their BFs.

It's not a big thing anywhere. There's lots of women happy to follow their partners lead, and lots of men willing to do the same. It's a lot less work when someone else takes charge too, so I can see the advantages.

The 'Surrendered Wife' movement is the flip side, been around decades. Millennia, actually. There just wasn't a silly-sounding label for it.

I don't care what people do if they're both into it.

Dick Pickle

Candie wrote: »

It's not a big thing anywhere. There's lots of women happy to follow their partners lead, and lots of men willing to do the same. It's a lot less work when someone else takes charge too, so I can see the advantages.

The 'Surrendered Wife' movement is the flip side, been around decades. Millennia, actually. There just wasn't a silly-sounding label for it.

I don't care what people do if they're both into it.

Not sure this lad is into it !

hatrickpatrick

Dick Pickle wrote: »

She was to go the whole hog and have him wear a chastity device so he can’t fap !!!

Don't knock it until you've tried it

soups05

I'm the boss in my house, the wifey does what she is told and thats the end ....



**** she's coming, back later

PlaneSpeeking

Candie wrote: »

It's not a big thing anywhere. There's lots of women happy to follow their partners lead, and lots of men willing to do the same. It's a lot less work when someone else takes charge too, so I can see the advantages.

The 'Surrendered Wife' movement is the flip side, been around decades. Millennia, actually. There just wasn't a silly-sounding label for it.

I don't care what people do if they're both into it.

Basically my thoughts entirely - and I'd not be adverse to a bit of the old telling a bloke what to do, BUT how many feminists would see nothing wrong in this on a social level ?

Whatever kinks you have, go for it. But the hypocrisy of the new wave of feminism would see such a good idea in this, regardless of what the bloke thinks.

Hell, its already here - how many wives/GFs tell their other half what they can and can't do ? Sure I've a male mate who isn't allowed to see me as the mrs thinks men and women being friends is "unnatural".

Make that the other way round and its considered coercive control and there's a jail sentence!

coffee_cake

People's kinks are nothing to do with feminism
I think we should blame the commies

super_furry

bluewolf wrote: »

People's kinks are nothing to do with feminism
I think we should blame the commies

What and waste a chance to have yet another topic here whinging and moaning about feminism?

This all seems to make the assumption that relationships are usually or naturally male-led. Most people (in relationships worth staying in) these days are partners, and sometimes one may take the greater lead in things, and sometimes the other. My nicer half has been doing the heavy lifting the last few months because of family circumstances of mine, last year it was the other way around.

If any adult is being coerced into something they don't want to be a part of, they need to step up and make the hard choice. Not always easy or even safe, but there's no easy way out of any of these things, especially the most extreme.

I see I'm coming from this at a different angle. Whatever peoples kinks are they're welcome to indulge if they're both into it. However people organize their lives they're welcome to if both are into it.

Everyone needs to be respected, and if it's not given there aren't many options.

El Weirdo

bluewolf wrote: »

People's kinks are nothing to do with feminism
I think we should blame the commies

And people on the dole.

hatrickpatrick

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

Basically my thoughts entirely - and I'd not be adverse to a bit of the old telling a bloke what to do, BUT how many feminists would see nothing wrong in this on a social level ?

Probably the same number as lads who see nothing wrong with TRP on a social level.

The issue would be if the media (pathetically predictably) were to extol the virtues of this as a mainstream thing while simultaneously condemning dominant guys as they tend to do.

To quote Father Ted: "It's the meeeeedja that's the real enemy! A spell in the army would do 'em a power of good!"

Hell, its already here - how many wives/GFs tell their other half what they can and can't do ? Sure I've a male mate who isn't allowed to see me as the mrs thinks men and women being friends is "unnatural".

That's his fault, though. She's an absolute scumbag by the sound of things but he's the one going along with it. Personally, if anyone tried to tell me who to be friends with, I'd politely direct them towards the door.

Make that the other way round and its considered coercive control and there's a jail sentence!

This is where I'd agree with you that there's a societal double standard, which the media and mainstream feminism are more than happy to turn a blind eye to. And that is absolutely repulsive, I agree. I'm not suggesting that there isn't a serious conversation to be had about how the mainstream view of relationships shafts guys in many ways which are totally ignored when social issues are discussed - everything from the standard in rom coms being that it's the guy who has to "change for the better" and all that sh!te, and the idea that guys being pressured or manipulated into "settling down" is ok and even potentially funny - that's all stuff which in my view is very damaging to young boys when they're learning about how relationships are supposed to work. And there's no doubt that mainstream feminism is totally hypocritical in its tolerance for that sh!te.

I'm just saying, the FLR phenomenon is not part of this and shouldn't be tarred as an SJW initiative. It's a consensual arrangement between kinksters which is a lot of fun if you're into that kind of thing, nothing more and nothing less. And personally I see nothing wrong with someone who has a kink not shared by their partner trying to convince their partner to at least give it a shot. Our current social order would suggest that any kind of negotiation, persuasion etc around sexuality is inherently wrong, and that "doing something I'm not into because my partner finds it hot" is some sort of societal-level betrayal, but IMO that's total BS and always will be. Doing nice things for the person you're with, even if you're not really feeling up to it yourself, is just that, a nice thing to do - and I've never seen any reason not to include sexual things in that bracket. Life would be far less fun otherwise, IMO.

Out of interest, has anyone in this thread ever tried a kink which had zero appeal to them just for the sake of seeing their partner get off - and ended up massively enjoying it, to their surprise? Ironically, it's happened to me in reverse - as a sub, I never thought I'd enjoy being bossy and dominant until I was with a woman who reeeeally wanted to play a game like that, and after assuming it'd be awkward and my act would be totally unconvincing, it ended up being massively fun.

It's a shame if all this gender politics crap leads to people closing doors that they might have actually enjoyed exploring.

hatrickpatrick

super_furry wrote: »

What and waste a chance to have yet another topic here whinging and moaning about feminism?

El Weirdo wrote: »

And people on the dole.

And travellers!

Anyone got Boards' Bashing Bingo yet?

Blitzkrieger

Dick Pickle wrote: »

So one the lad’s missus has looked to move their marriage to an FLR.

What the actual?

Though tbh I know at least one guy who's already living like this - we miss you Stuart!

Seriously though, it wouldn't be for me, but if that makes him happy, best of luck to him.

jimgoose

Sounds like one for John Duffy. "And do you do be taking the lead in the dooby kitchen as well as in the stirrups in the dooby bedroom dooby-doo?? How does it make you fee-al?" :pac:

P_1

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Before ye get the pitchforks out, FLR is not any sort of political movement or an attempt to socially engineer the masses. It's an extension of the FemDom kink which extends beyond the bedroom to every-day situations, and some people absolutely love it.

Nobody (that I know of) is talking about trying to engineer vanilla lads into accepting this against their will, it's a consensual arrangement between a dominant woman and submissive man. That's all. It's no different to being consensually tied up and whipped or punished in bed, except that they decide to extend it into everyday situations.

Obviously something like this is bound to be co-opted by a minority of Tumblr eejits into something that it's not, but by and large this isn't something to get pissed off about. And I'd know, being into femdom in the bedroom myself I've been pretty much immersed in this community and its terminology since I was 11 or 12 - and I definitely couldn't be accused of being an SJW or feminist

EDIT: The irony is, it's actually usually lads who push for this, when they have submissive kinks. Whether because of societal expectations or just because fewer women are naturally dominant I don't know, but it's usually the aforementioned lads' girlfriends who find it weird and are hard to convince that it might be fun. Femdom forums are littered with posts from lads wondering how they might broach this subject with their girlfriends, but very few (in comparison) posts from women trying to figure out how they could initiate something like this with their BFs.

This × 1000. Pitchforks down lads. Its merely 2 consenting adults exploring a dynamic of their relationship

Sal Butamol

Time to build a wall around America and cut off all communications.

It really is the world's largest open air mental asylum.

hatrickpatrick

Sal Butamol wrote: »

Time to build a wall around America and cut off all communications.

It really is the world's largest open air mental asylum.

And this is how Trump intends to trick Mexico into paying for his border wall

On that note, Melania Trump as a dominatrix is a rather fun thought. Actually, I always thought that Sarah Palin would look incredible with a corset and a riding crop :pac:

indioblack

Down with this sort of thing.

Richard Hillman

She goes to work to pay all the bills, I wake up a little bit later, go to the bookies and do a few bets on the days horse racing, give the house a once over, pop to the shops, do a bit of cooking, give her a seeing to when she gets home for the dinner. I'll take that.

Cleopatra_

Dick Pickle wrote: »

The lad was always a bit of a dweeb. She was to go the whole hog and have him wear a chastity device so he can’t fap !!!

I have an ex that loved to be dominated and he had a chastity belt. He'd put it on and give me the key so he wouldn't be able to fap in between us seeing each other. It was fun knowing that I had the key, I kept it on a chain around my neck or in my wallet

Actually he's a boards user so hey there ex *waves*

NOVA MCMXCIV

Cleopatra_ wrote: »

I have an ex that loved to be dominated and he had a chastity belt. He'd put it on and give me the key so he wouldn't be able to fap in between us seeing each other. It was fun knowing that I had the key, I kept it on a chain around my neck or in my wallet

Actually he's a boards user so hey there ex *waves*

*Waves with that very key in her cruel, cruel hand*

Cleopatra_

NOVA MCMXCIV wrote: »

*Waves with that very key in her cruel, cruel hand*

Unfortunately the key belongs to his current girlfriend so I don't get to keep a willy in a cage anymore

hatrickpatrick

Cleopatra_ wrote: »

I have an ex that loved to be dominated and he had a chastity belt. He'd put it on and give me the key so he wouldn't be able to fap in between us seeing each other. It was fun knowing that I had the key, I kept it on a chain around my neck or in my wallet

Actually he's a boards user so hey there ex *waves*

OMG 😍 He was a lucky man! Is that why your Location says "Denial"? :D:D

jiltloop

Cleopatra_ wrote: »

I have an ex that loved to be dominated and he had a chastity belt. He'd put it on and give me the key so he wouldn't be able to fap in between us seeing each other. It was fun knowing that I had the key, I kept it on a chain around my neck or in my wallet

Actually he's a boards user so hey there ex *waves*

I'm thinking through the logistics of this contraption and I'm wondering how one would go about going for a piss without the key?

Cleopatra_

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

OMG 😍 He was a lucky man! Is that why your Location says "Denial"? :D:D

I'm in denial about the fact that I no longer have a willy to keep in a cage!

jiltloop wrote: »

I'm thinking through the logistics of this contraption and I'm wondering how one would go about going for a piss without the key?

Well it's like a little cage so there are bars and he peed through them.