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Relationship with girl on other side of the world
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23-07-2018 2:52pm#1I've been messaging a girl from the Phillipines for over 2 years now. She contacted me randomly on Facebook but seemed really genuine from the start. We've messaged loads, spoken on Skype, spoken on the phone. She says she loves me. I like her a lot but without having met her, I couldn't reciprocate that.
She wants me to come meet her.
The only problems are that it's a huge journey to a rural area of the phillipines, I live in a rural area myself and eyebrows would be raised among neighbours and my own family, and it's a long and difficult process to bring her here permanently if we ever did get that far.
Any advice?0
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My advice is probably not what you want to hear. You are not the first and won't be the last male to be contacted randomly by a female from the Philippines or other such countries, and the incentive here is usually financial, not love.
You may think otherwise, but these people will often tell you simply what you want to hear. Proceed with extreme caution, if you're going to proceed at all. Too many people have been preyed upon in this manner. As a rule of thumb, engaging young females don't tend to have any problem attracting local admirers without having to contact people on the other side of the world.0 -
ManOfMystery wrote: »My advice is probably not what you want to hear. You are not the first and won't be the last male to be contacted randomly by a female from the Philippines or other such countries, and the incentive here is usually financial, not love.
You may think otherwise, but these people will often tell you simply what you want to hear. Proceed with extreme caution, if you're going to proceed at all. Too many people have been preyed upon in this manner. As a rule of thumb, engaging young females don't tend to have any problem attracting local admirers without having to contact people on the other side of the world.
Thanks very much for your reply. I've had what you said in my mind since I met her. I know financial security is a factor in her desire to meet an irish guy. However, after two years and a lot of communication, surely there is something to it? She's hardly out to just scam me after all that effort?0 -
ManOfMystery wrote: »My advice is probably not what you want to hear. You are not the first and won't be the last male to be contacted randomly by a female from the Philippines or other such countries, and the incentive here is usually financial, not love.
You may think otherwise, but these people will often tell you simply what you want to hear. Proceed with extreme caution, if you're going to proceed at all. Too many people have been preyed upon in this manner. As a rule of thumb, engaging young females don't tend to have any problem attracting local admirers without having to contact people on the other side of the world.
Thanks very much for your reply. I've had what you said in my mind since I met her. I know financial security is a factor in her desire to meet an irish guy. However, after two years and a lot of communication, surely there is something to it? She's hardly out to just scam me after all that effort?
I've had this exact conversation, and this exact situation with a friend of mine. His thoughts? "But she seems so genuine...."
My response to you is the same as it was to him. Scammers don't set out to appear as scammers. The only way they can scam people, or use them for cash/visas/etc is to appear utterly convincing, and thus manipulate their emotions effectively. It's a form of social engineering, and these bad actors have got increasingly adept at it.
Some may think I'm cynical but this scenario is almost a cliche now. It would not surprise me in the slightest if this girl is spinning the same story concurrently to a number of other males from this part of the world also.
Perhaps she does want to move to Ireland, and wants financial security. Perhaps she does like you. But that's not enough to move across the world and make a successful go of things, be it marriage or whatever. What typically happens here is you'll get 1-2 good years and then she'll return home to her family with a lump of your cash in tow.0 -
Hi Op
a good friend of mine is married to a girl from the philippines. they met in a similar way. they hit it off, but of course he had worries about her etc. And i'm sure she had worries about how genuine he was too! However they took the risk, met up a few times, and it all worked out. she had a child and he took on that child and is happily married, all living in ireland.I tell that story because it can work out.
Maybe the odds are against you. But OP, What have you to lose? Would you let the or the approbation/gossip of neighbours about the colour of her skin make you forgo a chance of love?
Take a holiday in thailand, meet her and see what happens. Be cautious by all means, but take a chance.Perhaps she does want to move to Ireland, and wants financial security. Perhaps she does like you. But that's not enough to move across the world and make a successful go of things, be it marriage or whatever. What typically happens here is you'll get 1-2 good years and then she'll return home to her family with a lump of your cash in tow.
Could you not say that about any relationship ? Maybe she only wants you for what you can offer her? Does that mean no one should ever date someone who is not wealthier than themselves?0 -
People can date whoever they like. My concern here is for the OP. When the person involved is asking the OP to travel to the other side of the world and in future could potentially look to move over to him, there are potentially more stakes - and doubt - involved than if it was a local woman he became close to.Xterminator wrote: »Hi Op
a good friend of mine is married to a girl from the philippines. they met in a similar way. they hit it off, but of course he had worries about her etc. And i'm sure she had worries about how genuine he was too! However they took the risk, met up a few times, and it all worked out. she had a child and he took on that child and is happily married, all living in ireland.I tell that story because it can work out.
Maybe the odds are against you. But OP, What have you to lose? Would you let the or the approbation/gossip of neighbours about the colour of her skin make you forgo a chance of love?
Take a holiday in thailand, meet her and see what happens. Be cautious by all means, but take a chance.Perhaps she does want to move to Ireland, and wants financial security. Perhaps she does like you. But that's not enough to move across the world and make a successful go of things, be it marriage or whatever. What typically happens here is you'll get 1-2 good years and then she'll return home to her family with a lump of your cash in tow.
Could you not say that about any relationship ? Maybe she only wants you for what you can offer her? Does that mean no one should ever date someone who is not wealthier than themselves?
I'm happy for your friend that he met a lady from the Phillipines and it has worked out well. However as we all know, this isn't always the case; there is a longstanding and recognised pattern of social coercion which often involves random contact initiated by these parties in other countries, and the incentive is usually financial and not one of love or romance. I'm concerned the OP may fall victim to such a scenario.0 -
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I would definitely agree with proceeding with caution just like the others have said, but at the end of the day you never know what can happen.
Depending on how you feel, you may regret it if you don't give it a chance. Travel there and meet up with her, at the very worst if you get stood up, it'll be another country that you've seen.
My wife is from the other side of the world, and we met in a similar situation. We got talking online randomly, and it was never intended to develop, but we couldn't stop talking. Eventually we decided to meet and it went from there. I made several trips back and forth to her country and she made one here before we finally got married. We're living together here now and hoping to buy a house soon.
So it certainly could work out, but you really need to have your guard up like others have said.0 -
Xterminator wrote: »Hi Op
Maybe the odds are against you. But OP, What have you to lose?
He has a hell of a lot to lose
I too believe she will have a few others around the world on the go trying to harvest their cash
Out of all the men in the world she chose you without ever meeting or knowing you
Chatting for 2 years is no real effort, it’s putting in a grind to get her pay off which seems could be quite soon
A few mins replying and answering phones will all be worth it
It’s up to you what you do by all means but it doesn’t add up
Regarding family friends, I believe you don’t want them to know as they will say the exact same thing
What happens when if you visit? Subsidizing her and the entire extended family for the duration. How do you know they won’t rob you physically
If I were you and really going ahead with this , inform your family the address etc1 -
You don't know her.
Everything she told you could be a lie.
People behave differently in person than online.
If she comes here how will she survive? Will she work? Will you be expected to pay for her every step of the way? ( The answer to the last question is yes, by the way )
Please wake up and don't go off to the other side of the world for some one that "randomly" added you on Facebook. Be smarter than that.0 -
I can see where people are coming from. This could be all a con to milk me for everything I have. At the very mininum, a financially secure western husband is an attractive prospect for her.
However, I do have my eyes open. This isn't just a spur of the moment whim where a pretty girl showed me some attention on facebook and I'm running off to the other side of the world.
We've been messaging almost constantly for at least two years. I actually can't remember when we first started messaging. We've exchanged 10000s of messages. We've had skype and phone calls. Few at the start as her english was poor but it has much improved and we can have an hour long chat now comfortably. Her facebook page appears genuine. I've seen pictures of her family, friends etc. I've seen her nieces on skype calls. I know approximately where she lives in her city. I have her phone number and know all about her life and family. She has never ever asked me for money of any sort.
I really appreciate the advice given so far. It has helped me think this through.0 -
Offer to meet somewhere neutral cover cost of her flight or travel for her, best way to suss her out is in person0
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I have thought of inviting her to Ireland. I know I'd be covering the cost of flights, accommodation, visa living costs etc so thought it better to go visit her first.Outkast_IRE wrote: »Offer to meet somewhere neutral cover cost of her flight or travel for her, best way to suss her out is in person0 -
However, after two years and a lot of communication, surely there is something to it? She's hardly out to just scam me after all that effort?
What effort though? Texting non-stop requires nothing of you, you can do it at the same time as literally anything. Working, shopping, texting 20 other men, dating 20 other men. What's more it also allows you to be anyone you want to be to get what you want. It's the foundation upon which that film and series "Catfish" was based on. It's so common.We've been messaging almost constantly for at least two years. I actually can't remember when we first started messaging. We've exchanged 10000s of messages. We've had skype and phone calls. Few at the start as her english was poor but it has much improved and we can have an hour long chat now comfortably. Her facebook page appears genuine. I've seen pictures of her family, friends etc. I've seen her nieces on skype calls. I know approximately where she lives in her city. I have her phone number and know all about her life and family. She has never ever asked me for money of any sort.
I don't mean this in a disrespectful way OP, but I'm really struggling to understand why you would give so much of your time to an absolute randomer from the other side of the world who barely speaks any English.
I think most of us will have experience of dodgy folks from far-flung places adding them on facebook or spamming their inbox with illegible compliments out of nowhere. As a woman I discovered my "other" inbox a few years ago and it was a mess of egg accounts / unsavoury looking folks from war-torn and/or poverty stricken third world countries sending me cringey messages. The last bloody thing I'd have done is engaged them in conversation.
How's your love life generally? Do you date, have you had relationships? I ask because most lads I know wouldn't get as far involved as you have in an online 'relationship' with someone like this. Though of course she very well may not be the clichéd mail-order bride with dollar-signs in her eyes, it's still a big commitment to consider a long-term relationship with someone from the other side of the world who you know literally NOTHING about and who statistically probably did message you in the first place for all the usual reasons.
Have you ever actually asked her why she messaged you that first time?0 -
Thanks very much for your reply. I've had what you said in my mind since I met her. I know financial security is a factor in her desire to meet an irish guy. However, after two years and a lot of communication, surely there is something to it? She's hardly out to just scam me after all that effort?
Yes she is.0 -
I really advise against going to meet her in rural Philippines, just no0
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While I would be very vigilant against scam's I don't think this is one.
There are many forms of scamming that would prove lucrative rather than having 1 scam over 2 years. Continuous contact for 2 years is unlikely a scam. Plus you have seen eachother over video chat.
She has passed over an opportunity to ask for money for an air ticket and instead suggest you come to visit her.
So i wouldn't dismiss it over that. It depends on your feelings. Why not go to visit. At least you'd have a nice holiday.0 -
Do not visit.
Do not invite and pay for this online opportunist to come here.
You are being played like a harp in what is probably the most common worldwide scam after the Prince with the 20 million in funds he wants to give you.
I now know 3 people absolutely caught out ny this - all lovely decent guys but not big on the dating scene. One has now gone TWICE to Dublin airport to meet the woman women who he sent the fare over to - never arrived - death in family/family crisis - photoshopped flight tickets and hysteria and he sent the money again - did her calls and texts stop then - yes - probsbly has philipine new car out front now though.
My second relation like you had a random lovely friend who suddenly friended him on fb - all soft photos and pigeon emglish and cute stories and family pics - can barely speak english - after 18 months again started with 'I cant tell you, too embarassed, barely know you etc' then the sob story for mri fees and hospital bills started and when on and on until he finally told us and after he stopped the moneyhey presto she dissappeared as did her account.
My third person -a neighbour - lovely guy -
brought someone over who just like you he hsd been friended on fb snd chatting to for about 18 months - great few first nights & dates -then hey presto they fell into bed - next thing she is incredibly pregnant after only one night - 'unexpected but welcome' - after meeting her in person only a week before - they cosied up and she moved in; (him paying for everything;her in his house spending his money & him out earning it) . Two years later ( the magic visa time) she wants to go home to her family - she is now a common law wife in the eyes of the law and raking half his house ( he cant remortgage and so will lose his house) and "his" ( if it is his) child and be paying upkeep for her for the rest of her life.
They make documentaries on c4 and the BBC about this - have you not seen them? it is absolutely a common scam. No doubt you feel protective of her and want to be the good guy but just stop while you are ahead. It is a scam.
The P's is a third world country with high poverty and unemployment and a booming sex trade courtesy of the US military bases that remained in place for decades following ww2. It is nothing like rural Ireland and absolutely worse than Thailand for this kind of scam -no doubt you are aware of whatgoes on there too -whole towns are set up with comparably wealthy fat white ex-pats dating & living with sensationally hot young women who cannot speak much of any language but'status' ( white boyfriend) and money are the common themes.
You are being reeled in inch by inch.
Even if you travel and meet her in a rural farm what do you think will happen next?
Please dont be another victim.0 -
ginandtonicsky wrote: »What effort though? Texting non-stop requires nothing of you, you can do it at the same time as literally anything. Working, shopping, texting 20 other men, dating 20 other men. What's more it also allows you to be anyone you want to be to get what you want. It's the foundation upon which that film and series "Catfish" was based on. It's so common.
I don't mean this in a disrespectful way OP, but I'm really struggling to understand why you would give so much of your time to an absolute randomer from the other side of the world who barely speaks any English.
I think most of us will have experience of dodgy folks from far-flung places adding them on facebook or spamming their inbox with illegible compliments out of nowhere. As a woman I discovered my "other" inbox a few years ago and it was a mess of egg accounts / unsavoury looking folks from war-torn and/or poverty stricken third world countries sending me cringey messages. The last bloody thing I'd have done is engaged them in conversation.
How's your love life generally? Do you date, have you had relationships? I ask because most lads I know wouldn't get as far involved as you have in an online 'relationship' with someone like this. Though of course she very well may not be the clichéd mail-order bride with dollar-signs in her eyes, it's still a big commitment to consider a long-term relationship with someone from the other side of the world who you know literally NOTHING about and who statistically probably did message you in the first place for all the usual reasons.
Have you ever actually asked her why she messaged you that first time?
To answer your question, love life is poor. I've been online dating for years but besides a few dates, with little success. I guess she was initially trawling through facebook for a western guy but from her messages and actions since, i have no reason to doubt that she is genuine although I do know, I would be expected to support her.0 -
ConnyMcDavid wrote: »Plus you have seen eachother over video chat.
I actually know of a person who thought the same and it still turned out to be a scam!0 -
You say you would be expected to support her. Fully? Can you afford that? What if she decides to bring some family members with her, would you be able to afford that? Where do you live? At home with your parents, houseshare, in your own house? Would you have room for her, and possibly her mother? I think everyone needs to bring something to a relationship and if you are going to be expected to financially support her, then all she will be bringing for you is companionship, that you are effectively 'buying'.
This may work out. It could all be fine, but starting out any relationship knowing you will be expected to 100% support someone is a huge ask. Are you very wealthy?0 -
Just a few thoughts since my last post yesterday.
If she's from the rural part of the Philippines, she's likely poor and from a poor family. Realistically the way it would have to work to bring her here permently would be to support her finacially for a number of years while making regular trips out there (maybe 2 a year depending on how much holidays you have in the year), then to marry her there and have her come here on a spousal visa.
If she was something like a nurse, she could probably come here on a work visa instead, but other than that, realistically marriage is the only way to bring her here on a permanent basis.
You'd also have to make sure that you don't fall into the trap of supporting her whole family. Does she work? Do her siblings work?
Filipinos have this thing where they'll give away everything they have to their families even if they become destitute in the process. It's completely ingrained into a lot of them and sometimes they'll expect their foreign spouses to oblige and think nothing of it. If none of her family have proper jobs, it's something I'd be very on guard about going forward.
Just stuff to consider. By the way, if you're looking for information specific to the Philippines, the Visa Journey forums (dedicated to US Immigration) have a lot of threads you should read. There are plenty Americans who married Filipinas there, it'll give you far more information specific to the Philippines than you'll ever get here on Boards.
http://www.visajourney.com/forums/forum/129-philippines/0 -
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OP how long were you messaging before she stated her feelings of love and wanting to meet you? Also did she give a reason why she chose to message you out of the millions of other western blokes? If you were In a Facebook group together or shared lots of common interests it would be a bit less suspicious.0
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Sorry, but this is totally wrong. These long term scams are becoming increasingly more common and many, many people have fallen for them. Not all scammers go in for the lucrative and short-term fraud type scams, these are risky and can land them in jail if caught - many will go for a long-term proposition like this where technically, they're not doing anything illegal , but on a moral level it is emotional manipulation designed to benefit them (+ maybe their family) financially in the long run.ConnyMcDavid wrote: »While I would be very vigilant against scam's I don't think this is one.
There are many forms of scamming that would prove lucrative rather than having 1 scam over 2 years. Continuous contact for 2 years is unlikely a scam. Plus you have seen eachother over video chat.
She has passed over an opportunity to ask for money for an air ticket and instead suggest you come to visit her.
So i wouldn't dismiss it over that. It depends on your feelings. Why not go to visit. At least you'd have a nice holiday.
It happens in many countries, with both genders. There have been numerous news articles about middle-aged women being propositioned on holiday by handsome young men, bringing them back to their home country and eventually getting married only to find themselves 4 or 5 yrs later with most of their cash siphoned off and possibly even their house remortgaged or signed into the guy's name - then he does a runner.0 -
ManOfMystery wrote: »Sorry, but this is totally wrong. These long term scams are becoming increasingly more common and many, many people have fallen for them. Not all scammers go in for the lucrative and short-term fraud type scams, these are risky and can land them in jail if caught - many will go for a long-term proposition like this where technically, they're not doing anything illegal , but on a moral level it is emotional manipulation designed to benefit them (+ maybe their family) financially in the long run.
sorry, but this is not understandable. how can you get someone in jail for messaging, say, 6 month or even less and somebody who's messaging two years is fine? makes no sense. both is messaging, if you stop after 3 mails or after 3000, nothing illegal about messaging and talking to a guy via skype.
OP, I'm torn, but at the end of the day, if you cut contact now, wouldn't you always sit there and ask yourself what if?
as a solution: why can't you discuss all this things which were brought up here with her? that would be the way to go I think. Tell her all your 'fears', also the support thing, i.e. supporting her financially here for the first time and most probably in the long run her family, or let's say parents.
See how she reacts. Be persistent, get answers from her. If she's evasive, or getting more distant about it and with you, you have your answer I think.0 -
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OP, I'm torn, but at the end of the day, if you cut contact now, wouldn't you always sit there and ask yourself what if?
When I was going through those long periods of singledom getting down whenever I'd see couples together there were oppertunites that would arise from time to time (some more unusual than others) and I didn't take them.
I always really kicked myself afterwards asking that "What If?" question.as a solution: why can't you discuss all this things which were brought up here with her? that would be the way to go I think. Tell her all your 'fears', also the support thing, i.e. supporting her financially here for the first time and most probably in the long run her family, or let's say parents.
See how she reacts. Be persistent, get answers from her. If she's evasive, or getting more distant about it and with you, you have your answer I think.
I'd agree with that 100%, that's the best course of action. Pretty much the only thing you can do in this situation.0 -
Being quite blunt and maybe a bit mean here, OP; she wants a (relatively) rich white guy that she can get to financially support her, and possibly her family, potentially marry, and possibly then divorce/move back to the Philippines and have him continue to fund her lifestyle. Meanwhile you get a (potentially) under-educated, attractive, young woman; naive in the ways of the world, that you can take under your wing.
TBH, I don't think either of you have pure motives here if you really dig down into it. What is it that made you fall for her? Do you have similar senses of humour? Taste in music? Outlooks on life? Does she challenge you intellectually? What is it about her that would make you consider taking on a totally unknown quantity in starting a relationship with her? Do you see her as a soulmate and help-meet, or is she hot and flatters your ego? Why would she message a complete stranger whose language she doesn't speak?
2 years may seem like too long for a con, but who knows how many other guys she has on the go, and how many of them are sending gifts or arranging to meet her. An hour on Skype every now and then to keep you hooked is nothing if she's hoping to land a big score, and after she hung up on you she could have been right on to the next guy. For a lot of scammers it's a full-time job.0 -
Being quite blunt and maybe a bit mean here, OP; she wants a (relatively) rich white guy that she can get to financially support her, and possibly her family, potentially marry, and possibly then divorce/move back to the Philippines and have him continue to fund her lifestyle. Meanwhile you get a (potentially) under-educated, attractive, young woman; naive in the ways of the world, that you can take under your wing.
TBH, I don't think either of you have pure motives here if you really dig down into it. What is it that made you fall for her? Do you have similar senses of humour? Taste in music? Outlooks on life? Does she challenge you intellectually? What is it about her that would make you consider taking on a totally unknown quantity in starting a relationship with her? Do you see her as a soulmate and help-meet, or is she hot and flatters your ego? Why would she message a complete stranger whose language she doesn't speak?
2 years may seem like too long for a con, but who knows how many other guys she has on the go, and how many of them are sending gifts or arranging to meet her. An hour on Skype every now and then to keep you hooked is nothing if she's hoping to land a big score, and after she hung up on you she could have been right on to the next guy. For a lot of scammers it's a full-time job.
I agree except I think based on what the OP's said, his dating life hasn't exactly been successful at home so he might be a bit more susceptible to a sudden bombardment of flattery and attention from an attractive exotic woman on the other side of the world.
OP, I'd take a good hard look at the situation as objectively as you can and factor in the advice you've had here. Think about what you might advise your brother or a close friend to do. Would it sound dodgy coming from someone else? Does it sound likely that this 'connection' with a foreigner who barely speaks your language and is several timezones away in a country where women have a reputation for scamming richer western men like this...is genuine?
What exactly is it that you need in your life that this woman represents? I'd frame it positively if you can. Sometimes we look for the right things in the wrong places, in this case romance, affection, attention, love and companionship. What can you do to find these things with someone closer to home, someone who is on a more even keel and equal footing where all of these question marks and trust issues and weird feelings about the whole situation aren't a factor?
I don't think the price you need to pay for all of these things should be financially propping up this woman and her family indefinitely if you choose to carry the relationship forward. I think you deserve more.0 -
I wouldn't be as wary if you had actually been visiting the Philippines and got to know this woman face to face, but the random contact out of nowhere sends some serious alarm bells ringing.
Relationships with people on the other side of the world and who are from developing nations can and do work, contrary to the cynical snobbery on much of this thread, but only when there is frequent face to face contact.
I wouldn't extrapolate like many in this thread are doing that all women from less well-off backgrounds/countries are looking to scam you. There are some really good-hearted, genuine women in such countries who'd make for great partners.
Unfortunately, in your case, I think the odds of that are very slim. If you want a partner from the Phils or any other developing country, you really should go and visit the country and get to know its language and culture first.0 -
Thanks so much to everyone who responded. I've read everything and it's great to get different points of view.
I was convinced that this isn't a scam and I still don't think it is but I do have seeds of doubt. The big question is, why contact me in the first place. If it is scam, it's a very very detailed one and has taken a huge amount of work on their side from the amount of detail that has gone into it, the 10000's of messages, skype calls, voice calls.
There are three things feeding into the doubt.
1. Why contact me randomly on FB.
2. She is insisting I come to her city (big town) rather than she come to Manila which is only a bus ride for her all be it a very long one. She doesn't want to make the trip on her own but I know she was there a few months ago.
3. I often send random selfies throughout the day and often hint for one in return, just to see her face. Sometimes she is reluctant to until later. Whether it is that she feels the need to dress well and look well or whether there's another reason.
She also insists that she loves me. Not having met me, I can't understand this. Maybe filipino's have a different concept of love.
I am fully aware that if this is all genuine, there is the fact that I am a westerner and can potentially support her which is a big attraction to her. I wouldn't actually mind that but there would need to be genuine feelings too of course.
All in all, there are a lot of ifs and buts. I'm not in the mind to venture to deepest rural Phillipines to meet her but may instead go on a trip to SE Asia for a holiday, and maybe look up a genuine verified Asian dating agency seperately.0 -
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I'm also surprised about the many highly judgmental comments about this situation and what 'this women from the philippines are all up to'.
My guess is the majority of this poster never had the experience they describe and dread here, they just repeat what is 'common knowledge' about 'this philippine women', that they just want a rich western man who supports them, support their family in the philippines and so on.
Maybe it is like that, but if you think a bit further you might come to the conclusion: what's so bad about it? And especially: is there really so much difference to many european/ irish women except they are closer by and the culture is the same? There are many individuals (women and men) who's intention is to sponge off / be supported by their partners, you can read it here in many threads.
And who says the OP wants or needs a partner who is highly educated and career driven? Again, there are many irish women/men who are not like that, many are still family driven and concentrate on having children. And that's great if both partners like and want this 'traditional' set up.
And if they don't want this, I think chances of her finding a job are bigger than for let's say any highly educated french or italian girl he would bring to Ireland with a very specific profession and standards.
Isn't it the case that there are many, many phillippines working in the health care sector? Working in hospitals, nursing homes and home caring? So if she's really coming here and is serious, the OP doesn't need to support her financially for a long time, I think she will be snapped up by the health care sector very easily.
I don't know, I don't see this as so negative. My guess is there are equally as good examples with phillippine woman/western men connections as bad ones.
OP, I think there are chances to find out if she's serious or if she's a sponger. First step would be go to Thailand to find out. But you need to be disciplined for example don't plan to stay long with her and no physical stuff. Remember, it's the first time you see her and any sexual contact probably will blur your rational views on her.
And be alarmed if she's talking about marriage or giving hints very soon.0
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