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If you knew someone had an affair behind their fiancée’s back, what would you do?

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    #32
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    I just think it takes away responsibility from the person who did the act. By finding out, you’re asking your friend to involve and inconvenience themselves by dragging themselves into a disfunctional relationship. They did nothing wrong, all that happened was they saw something they weren’t supposed to. It’s the cheater who committed a wrongdoing here. And yeah, it’s hurtful when a loved one betrays you, but taking the focus off them because it hurts and directing your anger at bystanders who committed no such betrayal because they didn’t tell you is just projecting. It’s easier to focus on that perceived wrongdoing than to focus on all of the negative feelings that come with being cheated on, I get it, but that doesn’t make it wrong.

    Don’t get me wrong, there would be friends I’d still do that for, but if it happened to me I wouldn’t judge anyone who didn’t tell me either (now if they gossiped and told others then it’s a different story). It’s not healthy to take your anger out on innocent bystanders and it’s high maintenance as a friend. If someone expected that of me, they’d probably lose my close friendship tbh.


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    #33
    alibab
    Registered Users Posts: 678 ✭✭✭alibab


    MissTheDome wrote: »
    I am sorry to hear about your marriage.
    I think, similarly, suspicion is almost always there but we wait for the categorical proof. Some of my friends said they knew but didn’t have proof, and without proof it’s only suspicion.

    I was so so broken, if there’s actual proof, then it’s a very difficult call for anyone.

    Hope you’re doing well.

    I am great it was nine years ago and I am 4 years divorced. Best thing ever happened to me in the end . Easy to say that now as took years to get there but it was the best thing for both of us in the end as the marriage was not able to be saved .


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