Dating Foreigners

Hamachi

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119273954#Comment_119273954

And yet most people tend to partner up with people of very similar backgrounds. The overwhelming majority of Irish people, both male and female, are with other Irish people.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119272746#Comment_119272746

Woah! If a lad suggested that's what foreign women might be looking for he'd be a misogynist and a racist. :P

I personally wouldn't go near ladies who had been with certain kinds of foreigners. There's 2 cases before the courts at the moment (articles seem to be gone for now) where a guy was seeing someone, her ex-partner found out and the new guys ended up dead. Having seen how many of those relationships end up it's not a chance I'm particularly bothered taking.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119274186#Comment_119274186

Yeah that's the thing, getting with certain foreigners who have different cultural and religious norms, you just don't know what you're getting mixed up with and I think that's where the air of caution can come in.

Padre_Pio

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119274084#Comment_119274084

Thats true, but that's demographics.

The CSO would give you stats of the number of Irish men married to foreign women and vice versa. I wouldn't be surprised if it's disproportionate to the number of foreigners in the country.

Hamachi

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119274225#Comment_119274225

I’ve never seen those stats on the CSO. If you have a link, would be interested in reviewing them.

The % of foreigners in this country is 15%- 20% of the population. There is no way anything like one fifth of Irish people are married to foreigners. If anything, the rate of intermarriage is likely disproportionately low.

I have young kids and live in a very multicultural part of west Dublin. Even here, very few Irish people are in mixed nationality relationships. If anything, it’s foreigners of different backgrounds who are more likely to intermarry. For instance, there’s a surprisingly large amount of Eastern European women with South Asian and African men.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119274398#Comment_119274398

Virtually every Irish guy I know who lives abroad, is in a relationship with a foreign woman (Asian, Eastern European and Black women seem popular), even when there's Irish women around to be with. Whereas most Irish women I know abroad, only end up with foreigners for short periods, or find someone very similar to the Irish (English, French, American etc but typically White). I don't know of any pairings of Irish people together who weren't together before they started living abroad.

No idea on the stats, and I doubt there are any relating to Irish people abroad and their relationship habits.

Still, I would agree that most Irish people end up with other Irish people. When it comes to something serious like marriage or having kids we tend to want the reliability of someone from a culture we understand. Personally, I think the opposite but I've been a bit scarred from my experiences with Irish women, and my best relationships have all been with SE Asians.

Hamachi

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119274649#Comment_119274649

Interesting. My experiences abroad were quite different to yours. I lived in Australia for a while. I knew many Irish couples there, some who travelled out together, and others who met living there. In fact, one of my best mates met a girl from Belfast when we lived in Melbourne. They've been happily married now for a few years and are settled back in Belfast with kids. The rest of the Irish I knew there were almost exclusively partnered up with Aussies or British.

In Germany, virtually all the Irish people I encountered, male and female had German partners. Typically, they met them when travelling or working in other countries. I did meet one Irish couple who met in Germany though. They were both heavily involved in GAA, so perhaps not a surprise.

I'm always dubious of people (not you Klaz!), who declare Irish women are awful, foreign women terrific. I was only with Irish women until my early 20s when I moved abroad. I then didn't date a single Irish woman for a decade when I lived abroad. I'm now married with kids to an Irish woman in Ireland. I've never had issues meeting or having relationships with women of any nationality. Some worked out, some didn't..

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119274800#Comment_119274800

I'm always dubious of people (not you Klaz!), who declare Irish women are awful, foreign women terrific. I was only with Irish women until my early 20s when I moved abroad. I then didn't date a single Irish woman for a decade when I lived abroad. I'm now married with kids to an Irish woman in Ireland. I've never had issues meeting or having relationships with women of any nationality. Some worked out, some didn't..

We're all limited to our own personal experiences. My own were... painful. A lot of it was a result of my own mistakes, mentality, etc, but as an adult looking back, I can see that the women I knew didn't behave in a nice manner. At the end of the day, we can only take responsibility for what we do ourselves, and must recognise the weaknesses in other people too.

Culture and social norms plays into this, along with population of that given area. I've always felt, and still do, that Irish women have an awful high opinion of themselves, compared to what they expect from Irish men. Perhaps that's changed from when I was young (I certainly hope so), but from conversations with younger friends, I don't think it has. I certainly don't think that Irish women are awful/terrible/whatever, but I do think there is an imbalance involved in Irish society regarding the place of the average Irish woman & the average Irish guy. In dating.

For me, everything improved dramatically the moment I started dating foreign women/men.. and it's continued to improve as I get older. I doubt (I'm not ruling it out) I'll ever date an Irish person again. After seeing what it's like out there with other nationalities, returning to Irish people doesn't appeal to me. But that's for me. I can appreciate that others feel different. While we are all individuals, there tends to be a commonality among the behaviours and expectations of people of the same cultural group. I just love the culture and attitudes that comes with SE Asian people. It clicks with my own personality, and desire for the stability in traditional relationship types.

When it comes to friends, Irish women top the list for me. But not for intimate relationships. It is what it is.

Potatoeman

One of the reasons most people in first world nations with lower marriage rates state for being single is “they haven’t meet the right person yet”. It’s not just an Irish thing, people have expectations that are higher than what they have to offer and that’s both genders.

One thing that I found endearing when dating South American and Eastern European women was them coming over cooking then cleaning up after. I never had an Irish women do this but it made me feel like I had to do more myself for them, more romantic gestures and more effort put into dates.

It’s something lost with independence. I know many Irish women think Irish guys are bad at romance but it’s a two way street and needs effort from both sides. Maybe there’s a reason countries with the best reputation for romance, Italy and France are also pretty traditional in gender roles.

FlubberJones

Married to an Italian woman, previously married to an Irish woman and now divorced.

I tend to like the fact that my wife doesn't have some inbuilt "love" of Ireland and how great the "craic" is. We tend to holiday more (in Italy by no coincidence), my diet has improved dramatically and in general a lot happier.

But in honesty I wouldn't put this all down to the fact that she is not Irish, just different to my cheating ex wife... lol

Bobblehats

What do you value in a foreigner is it a culture, uniqueness. The ability to say she’s a rare bird or good romp; with a fine figure of a silhouette whatever the consequences.

Personally I chose the similarity yet that rarity there are so many commoners; in this life and in the denizens I didn’t feel I’d be introducing anything worthwhile that could truly be of interest or benefit to our family. Always had a thing for the niche, never was never compelled to the mainstream I found it profoundly tacky so I sought to strike up relations with an equally modest lot. Manageable, with the ability to not be overburdened and it was a revelation to me that these even even existed let alone herself...

I feel there is added charm, when two peoples stumble upon each other as opposed to desperately seeking another out. Which is a huge turn off, wouldn’t you agree.

Donald Trump

Out of my male friends that I grew up with, most who are married are married to Irish girls. Out of my male friends who I went to college with, a good few are married to foreigners.

I think that there are two dynamics at play for the latter.

The first is that you can often get a "more attractive" foreigner, compared to what you might get in Ireland, by virtue of you perhaps being exotic to the foreigner. I remember an average fella from the midlands whom I knew when I lived in the US. Back here, he'd be your average bogger wearing a county jersey and lashing pints into him in Flannery's in Dublin. He married an absolute stunner over there. He really leveraged off the "Paddy" factor.

Plus, the foreign girl who stands out amongst the average Irish girls in terms of looks, might be "normal" in her own country. Put that tanned South American lady into an Irish setting and she'll stand out as exotic and interesting. But when you bring her back home to her own country and step off the plane, you're tripping over similar.

The second factor is that some foreign girls might be more appreciative at earlier ages of certain qualities. There is the stereotype of the fella that the parents would choose for their daughter etc. and it's generally not the fella that the girls choose themselves....although they kind of gravitate somewhat towards that type later on in life, say when they hit late 30's if not already settled down by them.

I think that it would be true to say that girls from some countries/cultures start to value certain traits earlier than the Irish girls and might hoover up those fellas before the Irish girls. Looks are generally more important for girls insofar that a good looking girl usually has her pick of fellas. A good looking mid-late 20's Irish girl might be more interested in the heavy-drinking "good-craic" messer whereas a good looking foreign girl of that age might be more interested in the fairly stable fella with the good education and good career prospects. The Irish lady might decide she needs to settle down at 35 and start to focus on more stable fellas at that point.....the foreign girl might come from a culture when people get married and 20 and might feel old at 25 and be looking for that fella then.

Czech and Slovenian are the way to go. The American in the middle was a bit of a mistake. Look at the difference between Tiffany and Ivanka. I wouldn't want to ride Tiffany at all.

Mister Vain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119276229#Comment_119276229

I dated a Polish girl years ago who I would have considered out of my league, but after visiting Krakow and seeing the sheer amount of stunning women there, it really put things into perspective. There were girls working in McDonalds that looked like models.

In saying that, there are plenty of stunning Irish women now too. They look a lot better nowadays compared to years ago when there was more of a "ladette" culture. Women going to the gym back then was practically unheard of. Now everyone seems to be into health and fitness.

Wompa1

A relationship based purely on look isn't going to last. I ended up with a foreigner but I moved somewhere alone that didn't have an Irish community anyway so the option wasn't really there, one way or another. Might be good to mix up our gene pool and to also maybe water down our mindsets with partners who didn't grow up in Ireland pre-2000s with the whole Catholic guilt and begrudgery.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279052#Comment_119279052

I dated a Polish girl years ago who I would have considered out of my league,

And that's coming from Mr. Vain! 😁

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279052#Comment_119279052

Now everyone seems to be into health and fitness.

Not from what I've seen. Oh, there are many women who look good.. but there's just as many who are waddling around the place (apparently big is beautiful and fat-shaming is something nasty). TBH I was rather shocked (when I returned to Ireland) at the amount of heavily overweight (not even obese) people in Ireland these days... extremely chucky thighs of fat is a rather common sight. Seems like there are far more young people/teens with weight issues too. Not quite as a bad as the US but I can see Ireland getting there pretty fast.

There is a more.... relaxed culture to appearance in Ireland vs other countries. You can see it with the type of clothes chosen, and the general lower standards in appearance. Would your Polish girl go outside without a little bit of makeup? I doubt it. Would she be seen wearing something that wasn't flattering to her particular body type? I seriously doubt it. Whereas it seems common to find women (and men) wearing whatever is comfortable rather than what makes them look good.

Don't get me wrong. There are absolute stunners of both genders in Ireland. Quite a few of them, in fact. However, they stand out so strongly because the contrast is so big.

Bobblehats

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279151#Comment_119279151

No, not necessarily on good looks but there has to be that attraction. Primarily that romanticism, traditionally we have always been right up there in that regard sure I’m noticing some rather aggressive open courting online from some of our new brethren with charmers such as “wanna smash u” some such but I believe if we can uphold that quality we can remain the apple of the worlds eye?

I believe the rarer the specimen the more quality; in that regard if they are not how you say spiralling out of control then the more of true value… and so only dealt in those rarest of birds but regards escaping Catholicism, I’ll tell you I literally went to the ends of the earth to find a good protestant woman and now we even attend the same church together. For all our differences we are still good christians, it’s good to have that common bond. The great leveller although she’s a little obsessive, but I doubt very much kids will be on the cards here especially having witnessed some of the monstrosities going around nowadays. You never know…

Hamachi

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119279151#Comment_119279151

Mix up our gene pool, water down our mindsets? If you came out with that nonsense about any other ethnic group, you’d be accused of practicing eugenics.

Idiots like you who propagate this crap need to be called out early and often.

Bobblehats

You really can’t beat the Irish though and I mean that .. evermore in the context it tends to be used such wonderful hues; they really bring out the colours you want rainbows?! All of the colours right there.

Wrapped up in one although you may have to dig deeper to find the darker shades they are indeed all there .. no rarer bird of paradise than the fair maiden herself sure t’d be a shame to lose em, what say.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119281312#Comment_119281312

Do I need enigma machine to decipher thar?

Bobblehats

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119281405#Comment_119281405

Hah. Smitten, right? Gosh I really shouldn’t, enough now.

Mister Vain

A bit of Celtic mystique?

Bobblehats

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119281526#Comment_119281526

I know you’re uncompromisingly forthright. Word around is you’re Mr. Vein, is that true or what

PalLimerick

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/107490300#Comment_107490300

Do you stereotype a lot? Not all Brazilians are good at Soccer/Football or even interested.

PalLimerick

Just to throw my 2 cents, euro ones that is, most Irish "Guys" with non National girls yes I said non National are being used for something or other.

mikeybhoy

Still very rare you see a white Irish guy dating an African women

Bobblehats

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119281706#Comment_119281706

So how all the produce? ..ah 😫 must be those europeans we get taken for I’d be bashful about even holding hands in public, myself but that is another level

Irish_rat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119281677#Comment_119281677

Sure "Pal"

gameoverdude

I went out with a Cork one once. That's fierce foreign.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119281677#Comment_119281677

Such as?

All relationships are an exchange of interests/wants/desires. There's always some give and take, sometimes it's uneven but both parties are getting something, otherwise they'd simply move on.