My 50 year old neighbour on Disability

damianch

I just moved into a new house.

I had chatted to my new neighbour before, 50, fairly stable, on disability.

The first thing he tells me is that he is on disability and he pays something lile 13 euro a week rent. So thats cool. Means nothing to me.

Then he starts laying down the law of the land .

Started off fairly normal . He was complaining about the other neighbours etc.

But now its gone to a new level. Anytime I have a "late night" my car is scratched up a little bit more.

Last Sunday , it was an awesome BBQ day, so we had people over and had music playing etc throughout the day, as did many neighbours.

The next day my car was keyed from front to back.

I am not saying it is this guy next door, but one of the other neighbours met me on the street last Sunday and she said that he had complained to her about the direction of smoke from the BBQ. Her BBQ not mine.

I own my house outright .

I am not moving because of a busy nody next door neighbour


Will I tell him ?

Minderbinder

Tell him what? That you think he keyed your car but you have no proof?

Install a secret camera and aim it at your driveway.

Peregrinus

Where is your car parked? Can you fix up a camera to record who is damaging it?

This is a matter for the guards. If it is your neighbour who is doind this, confronting him or accusing him is not likely to make him stop. And if it isn't your neighbour who is doing this, then wrongly accusing him is not likely to improve relations between them.

So you need evidence. And then you need the guards.

Graces7

OP; camera. Please. Or keep watch all night then call the Gardai.

As a survivor several times of "neighbour disputes" as the authorities call these things, nothing will be done without concrete proof and even then?

I put up with this kind of aggression for years at one house. Even though I had witnesses and there was serious damage done, there was no action taken.

Evidence; try Gardai, then private legal action is the only way. It really is. far less stressful than what you are making of this now. Could be ANYONE as you are too new there to know folk and neighbours will not talk as they will defend their neighbourhood.

This man could be totally innocent of more than grumbling about noise and smoke! Why pick on him? He sounds lonely as many disabled folk are; been there done that.

Jim Bob Scratcher

1. Throw another big party with plenty of music
2. Stake out the area all night where you car is parked
3. Ring the guards

Problem solved

Pac1Man

Two gambred pitbulls?

Conservatory

Can you be sure there isn’t more of them in on it. You should stake out the welfare office and see if you can spot them congregating.
You are in a great position here owning your house outright you can give up the job and watch the car full time.

damianch

Minderbinder wrote: »

Install a secret camera and aim it at your driveway.

We have designated parking , so I am in the spot next to his. If I could place a camera , I would have to put it on the side of the car , a dash cam wouldnt suffice and he would clearly see. Insdead I have moved my car to the visitor spots in the complex, in the hope he will ask me why .

so

the age

and socioeconomic status

of yr neighbour is the sum of f*** all to do with this topic

yet it is 100% of the title

hmmm

damianch

Peregrinus wrote: »

Where is your car parked? Can you fix up a camera to record who is damaging it?

This is a matter for the guards. If it is your neighbour who is doind this, confronting him or accusing him is not likely to make him stop. And if it isn't your neighbour who is doing this, then wrongly accusing him is not likely to improve relations between them.

So you need evidence. And then you need the guards.

We have designated spaces and his is next to mine. I have since started parking in the visitor area tho .

And my problem is exactly what you say. I think it is him, and he is my neighbour , but imagine accusing him and it isnt him.

Actually imagine accusing him and it is him, its a no win

I thought when I bought my own house, at last, but now I have some neighbour who is a dick! And I don't even now them yet

erica74

Sorry for your troubles op but what has this man being on disability allowance and paying a tiny sum of rent got to do with the story?

Conservatory

damianch wrote: »

We have designated spaces and his is next to mine. I have since started parking in the visitor area tho .

And my problem is exactly what you say. I think it is him, and he is my neighbour , but imagine accusing him and it isnt him.

Actually imagine accusing him and it is him, its a no win

I thought when I bought my own house, at last, but now I have some neighbour who is a dick! And I don't even now them yet

Hang on. Do you own your own house or have a mortgage?

damianch

Graces7 wrote: »

OP; camera. Please. Or keep watch all night then call the Gardai.

As a survivor several times of "neighbour disputes" as the authorities call these things, nothing will be done without concrete proof and even then?

I put up with this kind of aggression for years at one house. Even though I had witnesses and there was serious damage done, there was no action taken.

Evidence; try Gardai, then private legal action is the only way. It really is. far less stressful than what you are making of this now. Could be ANYONE as you are too new there to know folk and neighbours will not talk as they will defend their neighbourhood.

This man could be totally innocent of more than grumbling about noise and smoke! Why pick on him? He sounds lonely as many disabled folk are; been there done that.

I totally agree the man could be innocent . Only one neighbour I know spoke bad of him, and I am fairly well rounded to know not to listen to any individual.

I am almost afraid to catch him if it is him. However I think by me parking my car elsewhere and then explaining to him why I did that , might be a passive way of solving it... Once I present it to him correctly.

I made a mistake upon meeting him though. He is a bit of a gossip. And he was telling me about this neighbour and that neighbour and in all my awkwardness I said " ah i don't care, I don't have a mortage "

I think that might have made him hate me

Conservatory

damianch wrote: »

I totally agree the man could be innocent . Only one neighbour I know spoke bad of him, and I am fairly well rounded to know not to listen to any individual.

I am almost afraid to catch him if it is him. However I think by me parking my car elsewhere and then explaining to him why I did that , might be a passive way of solving it... Once I present it to him correctly.

I made a mistake upon meeting him though. He is a bit of a gossip. And he was telling me about this neighbour and that neighbour and in all my awkwardness I said " ah i don't care, I don't have a mortage "

I think that might have made him hate me

Hahaha you don’t have a house do you?

damianch

erica74 wrote: »

Sorry for your troubles op but what has this man being on disability allowance and paying a tiny sum of rent got to do with the story?

I see where you are going, but I'll stop you there.

He said to me in the first convo with him that he was on disability and what he is paying. Before I nearly got my first name out.

I'd never question anyone on disability as I know how difficult it is to be approved for it. I wasn't putting him down in that regard .

Try_harder

What is it the title of the post tho?

damianch

Deleted User wrote: »

so

the age

and socioeconomic status

of yr neighbour is the sum of f*** all to do with this topic

yet it is 100% of the title

hmmm

It is actually relevant . Just cannot explain if you don't see it

Try_harder

Try_harder wrote: »

What is it the title of the post tho?

What?

SuperS54

damianch wrote: »

a dash cam wouldnt suffice and he would clearly see.

Why would you not want him or whoever is vandalising your car to see the dashcam? If the objective is to stop it happening again then it being seen will go a long way towards that end.

Conservatory

What about the car op, is that leased bought outright or on of them repackaged hire purchase jobs?

damianch

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

1. Throw another big party with plenty of music
2. Stake out the area all night where you car is parked
3. Ring the guards

Problem solved

I reallt like this idea , thanks Bob. And i will also warn some of my mates to film anything they see relating to him.

I love clear concise points

Try_harder

damianch wrote: »

I see where you are going, but I'll stop you there.

He said to me in the first convo with him that he was on disability and what he is paying. Before I nearly got my first name out.

I'd never question anyone on disability as I know how difficult it is to be approved for it. I wasn't putting him down in that regard .

Why is his age and employment status the title of the thread then?

Peregrinus

damianch wrote: »

It is actually relevant . Just cannot explain if you don't see it

It's not relevant, not at all. He's either keying your car or he isn't. His age and state of health do not make him more likely to be keying your car, and they provide no kind of defence or excuse if in fact he is keying your car.

Malayalam

damianch wrote: »

I see where you are going, but I'll stop you there.

He said to me in the first convo with him that he was on disability and what he is paying. Before I nearly got my first name out.

I'd never question anyone on disability as I know how difficult it is to be approved for it. I wasn't putting him down in that regard .

But you putting his Disability Allowance in the thread title is the online forum equivalent of him saying thus and what he was paying before anyone gets their name out. Perhaps you have something in common with him after all?

Anyway its not about his age or his income - if someone is damaging your property try and record it and report to police.

damianch

Try_harder wrote: »

What is it the title of the post tho?

What? Do you want a PC sentence so if I get it wrong you can run to the Twitter Wokes and Shame me?

If you want a proper reply PM me . As clearly you only care about the headline and not the content....

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Try_harder

I think my neighbour is keying my car might be more relevant and get you better advice. But go ahead.

Peregrinus

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

The issue is thinking clearly about the OP's problem and how it can be resolved. Bringing his neighbour's age and health condition into the discussion suggests that the OP may not be thinking clearly - he is being distracted by irrelevancies. This won't help him sort out the issue.

damianch

Conservatory wrote: »

What about the car op, is that leased bought outright or on of them repackaged hire purchase jobs?

The car is all mine! Now with added scrathces And yes I paid for it all by myself after the little bit of money I had over from buying my home. I had 4k left, and i spent 3k on the car and spent the rest on something else

Bigus

Minderbinder wrote: »

Tell him what? That you think he keyed your car but you have no proof?

Install a secret camera and aim it at your driveway.

Yes , you play the long game ,gather the evidence over time. you might also catch him stroking/cash work or doing delivers off the books or something as leverage, for future confrontations.

dense

erica74 wrote: »

Sorry for your troubles op but what has this man being on disability allowance and paying a tiny sum of rent got to do with the story?

A lot.

He was demonstrating the local pecking order to the OP and basically telling the OP that he thinks he/she's a sucker for grafting and ponying up a mortgage when he has the same for €13 a week.



https://amp.independent.ie/opinion/columnists/david-mcwilliams/mystery-of-massive-rise-in-those-quitting-workforce-on-disability-29170473.html

Bob Harris

You need to set up a secret camera taking in your neighbours property. Make sure he's really disabled. He's probably like yer man Andy from little Britain. As soon as he thinks no-one is looking he's probably cartwheeling down the garden and jumping off the roof into a paddling pool.

erica74

damianch wrote: »

I see where you are going, but I'll stop you there.

He said to me in the first convo with him that he was on disability and what he is paying. Before I nearly got my first name out.

I'd never question anyone on disability as I know how difficult it is to be approved for it. I wasn't putting him down in that regard .

Where am I going? You made the fact that he's on disability allowance the title of the thread and include more details about his disability allowance and rent in your OP but it has nothing to do with the story you've told so far? Maybe it is relevant to the story but so far, I just don't see how it's relevant.

damianch

Can I clear something up Re: title of this post.

The reason I mentioned he is 50 is equally as imprortant to him being on disability.

I am not saying anything about him claiming disabillity in a wrong scenario.

What I am suggesting is that him being unable to work for a long time has made him a pain in the ass neighbour.

However If I said "My unemployed neighbour...." Imagine the **** storm that would cause.

I said he was on Disability so people would attack him for being "unemployed"

If I said he was just a neighbour people would say " JAYSUS does he not work"

If I didn't say he was Disability, people would say " Oh maybe fancies you"

By saying he is on Disability is just creating a context and it is only a judgement in you the person who presumes its a bad thing. I don't . Its a conext, and describes the situation . And as it describes the situation it cannot be untrue.

And again , I can't deal with people who argue over such issues . Its pedantic and bull

Try_harder

Well that escalated quickly

Kermit.de.frog

If he is able and motivated to key your car then he should be able and motivated to work.

There are confidential numbers available if you suspect someone of welfare fraud. Again though, as mentioned, you need evidence. Get a camera or something.

Fann Linn

damianch wrote: »

Can I clear something up Re: title of this post.

The reason I mentioned he is 50 is equally as imprortant to him being on disability.

I am not saying anything about him claiming disabillity in a wrong scenario.

What I am suggesting is that him being unable to work for a long time has made him a pain in the ass neighbour.

However If I said "My unemployed neighbour...." Imagine the **** storm that would cause.

I said he was on Disability so people would attack him for being "unemployed"

If I said he was just a neighbour people would say " JAYSUS does he not work"

If I didn't say he was Disability, people would say " Oh maybe fancies you"

By saying he is on Disability is just creating a context and it is only a judgement in you the person who presumes its a bad thing. I don't . Its a conext, and describes the situation . And as it describes the situation it cannot be untrue.

And again , I can't deal with people who argue over such issues . Its pedantic and bull

Mad ted.

Try_harder

Ghetto Superstar- that song is in my head now

Gatoh

erica74 wrote: »

You made the fact that he's on disability allowance the title of the thread and include more details about his disability allowance and rent in your OP but it has nothing to do with the story you've told so far? Maybe it is relevant to the story but so far, I just don't see how it's relevant.

Agreed!

This book just won't print!
OP - you need to re-write the whole script ! More drama!

erica74

damianch wrote: »

I just moved into a new house.

I had chatted to my new neighbour before, 50, fairly stable, on disability.

The first thing he tells me is that he is on disability and he pays something lile 13 euro a week rent. So thats cool. Means nothing to me.

Then he starts laying down the law of the land .

Started off fairly normal . He was complaining about the other neighbours etc.

But now its gone to a new level. Anytime I have a "late night" my car is scratched up a little bit more.

Last Sunday , it was an awesome BBQ day, so we had people over and had music playing etc throughout the day, as did many neighbours.

The next day my car was keyed from front to back.

I am not saying it is this guy next door, but one of the other neighbours met me on the street last Sunday and she said that he had complained to her about the direction of smoke from the BBQ. Her BBQ not mine.

I own my house outright .

I am not moving because of a busy nody next door neighbour


Will I tell him ?

damianch wrote: »

Can I clear something up Re: title of this post.

The reason I mentioned he is 50 is equally as imprortant to him being on disability.

I am not saying anything about him claiming disabillity in a wrong scenario.

What I am suggesting is that him being unable to work for a long time has made him a pain in the ass neighbour.

However If I said "My unemployed neighbour...." Imagine the **** storm that would cause.

I said he was on Disability so people would attack him for being "unemployed"

If I said he was just a neighbour people would say " JAYSUS does he not work"

If I didn't say he was Disability, people would say " Oh maybe fancies you"

By saying he is on Disability is just creating a context and it is only a judgement in you the person who presumes its a bad thing. I don't . Its a conext, and describes the situation . And as it describes the situation it cannot be untrue.

And again , I can't deal with people who argue over such issues . Its pedantic and bull

Your first post doesn't mention anything about him being "a pain in the ass", if you had elaborated in your first post that, because he's on disability, he doesn't have much to do with his time so is a pain in the ass, that would have made more sense.
I'm not arguing with you, I simply asked what him being on disability allowance and paying a tiny sum of rent had to do with the story.

damianch

Try_harder wrote: »

Well that escalated quickly

Par for the course of dealing with a group of people let loose on a keyboard. The majority forget where they are and become lapdogs for their primary school teacher all over again.

The ones that go all " Oh but you said it in this fashion or that fashion" are clearly the ones from primary school with their finger on their lips hopping off the seat when the teacher is looking for someone to take something to the office.

I'd be like, take it yourself

Tipsy McSwagger

Have a bit of respect for your neighbors and stop throwing all day party’s and you won’t get your car keyed.

Try_harder

damianch wrote: »

Par for the course of dealing with a group of people let loose on a keyboard. The majority forget where they are and become lapdogs for their primary school teacher all over again.

The ones that go all " Oh but you said it in this fashion or that fashion" are clearly the ones from primary school with their finger on their lips hopping off the seat when the teacher is looking for someone to take something to the office.

I'd be like, take it yourself

Renegade!

Peregrinus

damianch wrote: »

Can I clear something up Re: title of this post.

The reason I mentioned he is 50 is equally as imprortant to him being on disability.

I am not saying anything about him claiming disabillity in a wrong scenario.

What I am suggesting is that him being unable to work for a long time has made him a pain in the ass neighbour . . .

Possibly it has.

But so what? It doesn't matter whether he's a pain in the arse. It only matters whether he is keying your car.

Instead of trying to identify somebody who is likely to be keying your car and looking for evidence that it is him, what you should be doing is trying to find out who is keying your car. Which probably means parking it in a spot from which it can be seen by an appropriately-located webcam, and then reviewing footage to see who has approached it if it is scratched again. This strategy does not depend on you successfully guessing who might be guilty.

damianch

Gatoh wrote: »

Agreed!

This book just won't print!
OP - you need to re-write the whole script ! More drama!

I'm free on Wednesday. Will come home and waterboard him .

erica74

damianch wrote: »

Par for the course of dealing with a group of people let loose on a keyboard. The majority forget where they are and become lapdogs for their primary school teacher all over again.

The ones that go all " Oh but you said it in this fashion or that fashion" are clearly the ones from primary school with their finger on their lips hopping off the seat when the teacher is looking for someone to take something to the office.

I'd be like, take it yourself

Hah, yeah, I was the one hopping off the seat because my arse and legs were covered in welts and bruises from having the shit kicked out of me at home.

It's a pity you're taking such offence to being asked some questions when you came here looking for advice.

damianch

Peregrinus wrote: »

Possibly it has.

But so what? It doesn't matter whether he's a pain in the arse. It only matters whether he is keying your car.

Instead of trying to identify somebody who is likely to be keying your car and looking for evidence that it is him, what you should be doing is trying to find out who is keying your car. Which probably means parking it in a spot from which it can be seen by an appropriately-located webcam, and then reviewing footage to see who has approached it if it is scratched again. This strategy does not depend on you successfully guessing who might be guilty.

You will see from previous posts, I have moved my car and am watching . thanks tho x

damianch

erica74 wrote: »

Hah, yeah, I was the one hopping off the seat because my arse and legs were covered in welts and bruises from having the shit kicked out of me at home.

It's a pity you're taking such offence to being asked some questions when you came here looking for advice.

Not at all, I love questions and love answering them! Never take offence from anyone unless they mistreat me. . If people prove me wrong I would apologise and say I was wrong. I only came here to ask advice on one subject, yet I am getting **** over wording of my question.

Do you have any questions ??

Roadtoad

Is your neighbour in a wheelchair? Have you been parking on the footpath?

damianch

Roadtoad wrote: »

Is your neighbour in a wheelchair? Have you been parking on the footpath?

No on his legs, sure he isn't using them

Bob Harris

damianch wrote: »

I am not saying it is this guy next door, but one of the other neighbours met me on the street last Sunday and she said that he had complained to her about the direction of smoke from the BBQ. Her BBQ not mine.