Top Tips

Brae100

If you have a set of Bluetooth headphones in the house that are paired with more than one device be careful. Just saying.

verycool

Didn't happen. Just saying.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Always check the wind direction before spitting.

North inner city hoodlum

Top tip
Don't ****e on your own door step, just saying.

Donald Trump

What did the leper say to the hooker?
















Keep the tip

jamesbere

That's great thanks

McMurphy

Cutting through sandpaper with scissors is a quick and easy way to sharpen them.

Jimmy Dags

If it don’t fit don’t force it.

fleet_admiral

Stop your car from being stolen by not owning one in the first place

Try_harder

Measure twice. Cut once.

corner of hells

When dressing a new born baby , stretch the clothes , not the baby.

Man , I learned that one the hard way.

JohnnyFlash

Don’t waste money buying expensive binoculars. Just stand closer to the object you wish to view.

Kill them

TheValeyard

Always pay attention to the smell of your home when you come back from holidays. Thats the way it smells like for guests. You just got used to it.

mad muffin

Try not to talk whilst drinking.

Collie D

Dieters - Beat the temptation to eat the chocolate bar calling you from the fridge.

Don't buy the ****ing thing in the first place.

Seoda1

How do you the front of a tree to the back of the tree? At the back, that’s where you’ll find the sh1t ...

Donald Trump

Seoda1 wrote: »

How do you the front of a tree to the back of the tree? At the back, that’s where you’ll find the sh1t ...

Ya wha' Gay?

milehip

Never get into a land war in Aisa.

Jimmy Dags

mad muffin wrote: »

Try not to talk whilst drinking.

Or riding.

buried

Turn it up to 11

Pac1Man

↑↑↓↓←→←→BA

AllForIt

Never try to make your own hummus - it's not worth the trouble.

Brae100

I'm kinda glad that my online confession of something truely awful allowed me to partially get this off my chest. I am equally disappointed that people haven't picked up on the what happened.

Donald Trump

Brae100 wrote: »

I'm kinda glad that my online confession of something truely awful allowed me to partially get this off my chest. I am equally disappointed that people haven't picked up on the what happened.

So your headphones picked up some sounds that you would have preferred not to hear?
Was it your mother in the midst of orgasm?

You hardly expect people on here to think that that's unusual or something to be shocked at

I mean, most of them have heard her orgasm in person anyway

North inner city hoodlum

Brae100 wrote: »

I'm kinda glad that my online confession of something truely awful allowed me to partially get this off my chest. I am equally disappointed that people haven't picked up on the what happened.

We know, you were watching some weird porn while connected to two sets of wireless Bluetooth headsets, and you were rumbled.


It's ok though, this is boards, all the males love weird pronos.

Brae100

Only one set of Bluetooth headphones. Paired to multiple devices. Be warned!

Uncharted

Brae100 wrote: »

Only one set of Bluetooth headphones. Paired to multiple devices. Be warned!

Jeeez....!
You're a pervert,we get it!

verycool

Brae100 wrote: »

I'm kinda glad that my online confession of something truely awful allowed me to partially get this off my chest. I am equally disappointed that people haven't picked up on the what happened.

Brae100 wrote: »

Only one set of Bluetooth headphones. Paired to multiple devices. Be warned!

Pardon my skepticism, but this is an "internet urban legend" that's been going around for years now.



Which is why I still don't believe you.

CollyFlower

Don't use a dodgy charger you bought online, they may have virus. And the same advice goes for a casual pick-up you bring home to have sex with.

Save a fortune on those expensive vanity plates for your car reg by simply driving around with the windows rolled down and shouting your name out at random strangers.

TomSweeney

Donald Trump wrote: »

What did the leper say to the hooker?
















Keep the tip

Why did the same lad fail his driving test ?











he left his foot on the clutch ...

Brae100

verycool wrote: »

Pardon my skepticism, but this is an "internet urban legend" that's been going around for years now.



Which is why I still don't believe you.

I'm not sure what the confusion is here. There is a pair of Bluetooth headphones that are paired to more than one phone. Work it out!

taytobreath

Brae100 wrote: »

I'm not sure what the confusion is here. There is a pair of Bluetooth headphones that are paired to more than one phone. Work it out!

go on, tell us what happened

verycool

Brae100 wrote: »

I'm not sure what the confusion is here. There is a pair of Bluetooth headphones that are paired to more than one phone. Work it out!

No confusion. I've heard / read about this type of "incident" more than a few times which is why I'm smelling a bit of BS.

thebull85

Brae100 wrote: »

I'm kinda glad that my online confession of something truely awful allowed me to partially get this off my chest. I am equally disappointed that people haven't picked up on the what happened.

i was thinking you're moth got an earful of a conversation you had with another female, its a familiar story.


Edit: either that or porn.

Brae100

verycool wrote: »

No confusion. I've heard / read about this type of "incident" more than a few times which is why I'm smelling a bit of BS.

Grand. I've got it off my chest and you don't want to hear about how I had to later launch casino ads and direct them to the headset.

El Weirdo

Sellotape Rice Krispies onto your car tyres for that classy gravel drive sound.

Gwynplaine

Never plough the same field twice

dollybird2

Dont ever dry shave

Donald Trump

Jimmy Dags wrote: »

mad muffin wrote: »

Try not to talk whilst drinking.

Or riding.

I know what you mean. 

Sure how am I supposed to concentrate when all I can hear is a hand-muffled "get off me ya fecker" when I'm in the middle of me job

Donald Trump

TomSweeney wrote: »

Donald Trump wrote: »

What did the leper say to the hooker?
















Keep the tip

Why did the same lad fail his driving test ?











he left his foot on the clutch ...

Poor divil had a tough week. 
Lost a lot in a game of poker
Threw in his hand so he did

pleas advice

I was wondering what was wrong with him, he gave me the cold shoulder

Donald Trump

pleas advice wrote: »

I was wondering what was wrong with him, he gave me the cold shoulder

Sure he started a road range incident the other day as well
Gave some other driver the finger
Then he completely lost the head
Threw an elbow at the other driver so he did

It all started innocently when the other driver's car broke down and he just asked the leper if he could give him a tow

pleas advice

He must be in bits after all that...

Peatys

AllForIt wrote: »

hummus - it's not worth the trouble.

Hector Bellend

never stick a banger up your arse at halloween

Graces7

Johnny Dogs wrote: »

Cutting through sandpaper with scissors is a quick and easy way to sharpen them.

Now all I need is some sandpaper..

JohnnyFlash

Never invite drug addicts to your house on Stephen’s Day. They might find your offer of cold turkey offensive.