What bullshιt were you told as a kid? Lies from parents etc.

Ahhhh for forks sake!

I was told the classics, i

• If you stare at the telly your eyes will turn square.
• If you lie your tongue will turn black.
• If you don't behave the man will come and take you away.
• If you put your shoes on the wrong feet your feet will turn square.
• If you make faces and get a fright you'll get stuck like that.
• If you eat sugar straight from the bowl you'll get worms inside you.
• Santa is watching you.
• If you don't eat your dinner your ears will fall off.
• If you pretend to be sick, you'll end up really genuinely sick for the rest of your life.

Yer Da sells Avon

If you unscrew your belly button, your arse will drop off.

Billy86

We don't have a favourite child. Now get back up to the attic with your fish heads, dinner is almost ready.

Arrival

Drugs are bad

idnkph

Of you swallow chewing gum your bones will stick together

Turtyturd

‘If you chase those pigeons away someone will complain about it on the internet.’

Even as a child I knew nobody could be that petty.

Barry Badrinath

'We love you'.

SEPT 23 1989

Nothing wrong with instilling a bit of fear

That's what's wrong with some of the children today no fear of consequence over ones actions

Ninjini

If you swallow chewing gum your lungs will stick together was what I was told

Yer Da sells Avon

When the ice cream man plays music, it means he's run out of ice cream.

Ninjini

If you lie, your tongue will turn black. I genuinely fell for that one until I was about 8

Ahhhh for forks sake!

Ninjini wrote: »

If you lie, your tongue will turn black. I genuinely fell for that one until I was about 8

Forgot that one !! I'll add to the OP

antodeco

Chinese people have sideways fannies

Lorelli!

My friend's mam told us that if you whistle it makes the Virgin Mary cry.

filbert the fox

if you die with a Mortal sin on your soul you automatically go straight to hell.

God (not Santa) is watching you.

There's a child in Africa who would love to eat that (tripe usually)

stick out your tongue and i will know if you're lying

eeguy

Tooth fairy, santa.

My dad used to tell me we were related to famous people like Frank Sinatra. "There's your uncle on the telly". Poor fool me believed him.

Ninjini

My Nan also told me that rain was God crying and thunder was when God was angry.

diomed

I was found under a cabbage as a baby.

KERSPLAT!

"Stop crossing your eyes, if the wind blows the wrong way they'll be stuck like that!"

filbert the fox

if you don't behave you'll end up in ARTAINE

KERSPLAT!

antodeco wrote: »

Chinese people have sideways fannies

Pretty sure thats true

baylah17

Ahhhh for forks sake! wrote: »

I was told the classics, i

• If you stare at the telly your eyes will turn square.
• If you lie your tongue will turn black.
• If you don't behave the man will come and take you away.
• If you put your shoes on the wrong feet your feet will turn square.
• If you make faces and get a fright you'll get stuck like that.
• If you eat sugar straight from the bowl you'll get worms inside you.
• Santa is watching you.
• If you don't eat your dinner your ears will fall off.
• If you pretend to be sick, you'll end up really genuinely sick for the rest of your life.

Adults know best!

Mena Mitty

If you go outside with a wet head after a bath you'll get pneumonia.

Packet soup is flavoured with dried insects.

Teabags are the sweepings of the tea factory floor.

There's a black hole in the Garda barracks where they put bold children.

tupenny

Billy86 wrote: »

We don't have a favourite child. Now get back up to the attic with your fish heads, dinner is almost ready.

Hugho? 😔

diomed

Standard reply from my mother if you were looking for something that was lost and you asked where it was.
"Up in Nellie's room behind the wallpaper."
We didn't have an upstairs, no wallpaper, and no idea who Nellie was.

I was found at the butt of Slievenamon in a biscuit tin.

The hot water bottle leaked. (My sister and I shared a bed)

NickNickleby

filbert the fox wrote: »

if you don't behave you'll end up in ARTAINE

As a child living among ex-pats in UK, I'd heard that. Well, guess where I live now????? In the former grounds. Given the hundreds of houses here, I won't be easily identified, and no one round here knows I was a bold child.:pac::pac:

Jim Bob Scratcher

The big scary man will take you away :rolleyes:

Amalgam

Eating chopped liver and various other unmentionables would give me bat like powers, see in the dark etc..

Basically, a fib to get me to eat the, 'offal of the week', when the house budget was tight.

Feckers.

filbert the fox

if you use bad language to your parents your hand will stick up out of your grave

LirW

If I'm not eating my plate empty there will be thunderstorms the next day and it's my fault.

Also my nan took myself, sister and cousin out in the car and would stop where the forest would start, would go over and call for the witch and she then made witch like noises that she wants to eat the kids. She was scarily good at it and we were scared sh1tless.

Irish Guitarist

'History' class when I was in primary school consisted of stories about the likes of Cú Chulainn or The Children of Lir. Not bad stories and there's nothing wrong with learning about Irish myths and legends. They have their place in literature but piss off trying to pass them off as history.

Super-Rush

Don't worry you'll be safe with the priest.

Lu Tze

Amalgam wrote: »

Eating chopped liver and various other unmentionables would give me bat like powers, see in the dark etc..

Basically, a fib to get me to eat the, 'offal of the week', when the house budget was tight.

Feckers.

How dare you, liver is awesome! And is full of iron, so if you ate enough you may have developed some kind of ferromagnetic powers!

bisounours

Ninjini wrote: »

My Nan also told me that rain was God crying and thunder was when God was angry.

My mom said the thunder was the angels fighting and the rain was tears from the one that lost. I would always look out the window to see if I could see a cherub crying so I could give him/her a hug.

filbert the fox

if you fall into a bog hole you'll be falling into the middle of next week

Ahhhh for forks sake!

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

'History' class when I was in primary school consisted of stories about the likes of Cú Chulainn or The Children of Lir. Not bad stories and there's nothing wrong with learning about Irish myths and legends. They have their place in literature but piss off trying to pass them off as history.

I thought I was the only one !! I was taught them as fact when I was in third class.

Ninjini

bisounours wrote: »

My mom said the thunder was the angels fighting and the rain was tears from the one that lost. I would always look out the window to see if I could see a cherub crying so I could give him/her a hug.

That’s adorable!

My Nan was not impressed when myself and my cousin said thunder wasn’t God being angry, it was him playing bowling. We then got told “the bad man” was watching us through the window

Ahhhh for forks sake!

filbert the fox wrote: »

if you use bad language to your parents your hand will stick up out of your grave

Even when you're still alive and walking on earth ??

MonkieSocks

Our parents used to bring on trips to lots of places, but we always found our way back home again

Ol' Donie

Not a direct lie to me, as such, but there was that nonsense about putting butter on a burn.

I remember a lecture about lab safety in college where we were told what to do in case of burn.

The lecturer actually said "There is this weird nonsense about putting butter on a burn. I don't know where the hell that came from Don't do it. Cold water. Not Kerrygold." Or something along those lines.

bisounours

Ninjini wrote: »

We then got told “the bad man” was watching us through the window

That would freak me out completely 😳

filbert the fox

Ol' Donie wrote: »

Not a direct lie to me, as such, but there was that nonsense about putting butter on a burn.

I remember a lecture about lab safety in college where we were told what to do in case of burn.

The lecturer actually said "There is this weird nonsense about putting butter on a burn. I don't know where the hell that came from Don't do it. Cold water. Not Kerrygold." Or something along those lines.

Doesn't natural yogurt ease sunburn?

Yer Da sells Avon

filbert the fox wrote: »

There's a child in Africa who would love to eat that (tripe usually)

"Pack it up and send it to them then"

*slap*

bisounours

Yogurt, aloe, cold tea bags, and lots of ibuprofen

If you swallow apple seeds, watermelon seeds, etc, a plant would grow from the top of my head (or from my belly button - she never got her stories straight)

Ninjini

bisounours wrote: »

That would freak me out completely 😳

Oh it freaked me out. I still avoid looking out the windows when it’s dark. I think my Nan had a bit of a malevolent side

Ol' Donie

filbert the fox wrote: »

Doesn't natural yogurt ease sunburn?

Hmm.

Yeah, why not.

Not strawberry yoghurt though. That'd be nonsense.

endacl

eeguy wrote: »

Tooth fairy, santa.

My dad used to tell me we were related to famous people like Frank Sinatra. "There's your uncle on the telly". Poor fool me believed him.

I just had a flashback memory of the auld fella telling me that Fats Domino was from Bunclody.

Ipso

Hapax Legomenon wrote: »

When the ice cream man plays music, it means he's run out of ice cream.

Cavan people can be so cruel.

Dj Stiggie

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

'History' class when I was in primary school consisted of stories about the likes of Cú Chulainn or The Children of Lir. Not bad stories and there's nothing wrong with learning about Irish myths and legends. They have their place in literature but piss off trying to pass them off as history.

I totally forgot about that, and how they just made it blend into the timeline, followed by St. Patrick, then obviously the Vikings came after that and so on...

Mam of 4

If you ate the pips/seeds in any fruit , said fruit tree would grow out of your ears.

Swallowing chewing gum stuck your stomach together , so you'd end up dying of starvation .

That the gypsies left me on the doorstep .
(Only girl,five brothers)

It was my beloved brothers that said all of the above , not our parents