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Kissed friends partner on her lips?!

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    #32
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Do you lean across your other half to frequently hug and kiss your female friends at events?
    I was sitting between Laura and himself, he leaned over and kissed her on her lips in front of me. He hugged her and kissed her on her head and cheeks many times during the night


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    #33
    Colser
    Registered Users Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    Mr. Incognito wrote: »
    Its obvious platonic

    I see nothing wrong with it

    I kiss female friends on the lips by way of greeting.

    Ive kissed male friends on the lips as piss takes

    People are so weird about affection. You need to work on your insecurities

    But the OP says that he hugged and kissed her(on the head) numerous times during the night..would your partner/girlfriend be OK with that?Maybe it's just me but I think that's ott .


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    #34
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,316 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Teyla Emmagan wrote: »
    On the lips? The lips for me is just for sexual kissing.

    Why? Genuinely confused by this and the other poster suicide. My mother would often kiss us too. To kiss someone and for them to reciprocate requires it to be on the lips. Are you honestly saying that kissing a child good night is sexual for you????

    With regard to the OP it does sound like the guy was hanging out of her all night.


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    #35
    thierry14
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,480 ✭✭✭thierry14


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    Why? Genuinely confused by this and the other poster suicide. My mother would often kiss us too. To kiss someone and for them to reciprocate requires it to be on the lips. Are you honestly saying that kissing a child good night is sexual for you????

    With regard to the OP it does sound like the guy was hanging out of her all night.

    Kissing your mother and your kids are a different, no?

    The girl OP describes, is hot and sexy


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    #36
    LoMismo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 63 ✭✭LoMismo


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    Why? Genuinely confused by this and the other poster suicide. My mother would often kiss us too. To kiss someone and for them to reciprocate requires it to be on the lips. Are you honestly saying that kissing a child good night is sexual for you????

    With regard to the OP it does sound like the guy was hanging out of her all night.

    No, my parents or no one has ever kissed me on the lips as a child or an adult unless they were a sexual partner. I would imagine it's the same for the vast majority of people. This is why we think it's odd that people kiss their kids on the lips, or anyone who they're not involved with sexually.


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    #37
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,316 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    thierry14 wrote: »
    Kissing your mother and your kids are a different, no?

    The girl OP describes, is hot and sexy

    Of course it is but the 2 posters previously considered it sexual


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    #38
    Alf Veedersane
    Registered Users Posts: 24,560 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    The OPs boyfriend kissing a female friend on the lips isn't worrisome in and of itself.

    But all of the rest on top of it is. The repeated hugs and kisses at the table are OTT and inappropriate, at best.

    As an aside, a parent kissing their child or a child kissing their parent on the lips isn't weird. If someone finds it sexual, it says more about them. If the intent isnt sexual, It's not sexual


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    #39
    Seve OB
    Registered Users Posts: 15,852 ✭✭✭✭Seve OB


    FFS it was peck. Not like he stuck his tongue down her neck.

    OP and a lot of you other folk need to lighten up a bit, life is to short to worry about such trivial matters


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    #40
    LoMismo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 63 ✭✭LoMismo


    Seve OB wrote: »
    FFS it was peck. Not like he stuck his tongue down her neck.

    OP and a lot of you other folk need to lighten up a bit, life is to short to worry about such trivial matters

    No one is worried. If you hadn't noticed, the whole jist of boards.ie is usually just for discussion of very trivial matters!


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    #41
    s15r330
    Closed Accounts Posts: 944 ✭✭✭s15r330


    LoMismo wrote: »
    No, my parents or no one has ever kissed me on the lips as a child or an adult unless they were a sexual partner. I would imagine it's the same for the vast majority of people. This is why we think it's odd that people kiss their kids on the lips, or anyone who they're not involved with sexually.

    Yeh its weird for sure, if I saw that my immediate reaction would be wtf, I reckon it'd be safe to say its the same for the majority of people


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    #42
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Why are people fixating on the kissing on the lips bit? What about the many times he leaned in to hug her and kiss her on the head and cheeks over the evening? Who does that to their platonic friends, especially when they're sitting beside their partners?


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    #43
    Happyrabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Happyrabbit


    qwerty13 wrote: »
    Before I comment on your situation OP, I just wanted to say that a friend of mine told me that her family all kiss each other on the lips. I find that really really weird tbh.

    If your BF is like my friends family, well maybe that’s what he thinks people normally do. however, ever though you’ve only only been going out together for a short time, his behaviour with ‘Laura’ came as a surprise to you - so the question is, does he kiss family/good friends on the lips, or just her?

    For me, if he kisses family/good friends on the lips, it’s still weird. But if he doesn’t do that, and singles out his best friends GF to kiss on the lips - even weirder! I think it’s really odd behaviour, and I would not be at all comfortable with it

    Thanks. I agree, It’s an odd behaviour for me. No, he doesn’t kiss his family on their lips, except his best friend’s partner🙄. What a moron!


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    #44
    qwerty13
    Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    Ursus Horribilis wrote: »
    Why are people fixating on the kissing on the lips bit? What about the many times he leaned in to hug her and kiss her on the head and cheeks over the evening? Who does that to their platonic friends, especially when they're sitting beside their partners?

    I think because for a lot of people kissing another adult on the lips is something they only do when in a sexual relationship with them. So to anyone who operates on that basis, him kissing Laura on the lips is an unambiguous sign that he already has, or wants to have, some form of sexual contact with her.

    The hugging and kissing on the cheek is on the face of it a bit more ambiguous - but leaning across his GF to do that, and doing it numerous times, is as inappropriate as the kissing in my book


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    #45
    Stellasmurf
    Registered Users Posts: 139 ✭✭Stellasmurf


    It would definitely make me uncomfortable. Cheeks, no problem, but lips? Also given the fact he doesn't do it to others would suggest it's not something he normally does. It could be that perhaps the girl in question greets people like this. The fact it was done in public would suggest nothing untoward of it unless much alcohol was consumed which could lower inhibitions.
    Also, people kissing their children on the lips is a silly comparison.


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    #46
    Happyrabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Happyrabbit


    Mr. Incognito wrote: »
    Its obvious platonic

    I see nothing wrong with it

    I kiss female friends on the lips by way of greeting.

    Ive kissed male friends on the lips as piss takes

    People are so weird about affection. You need to work on your insecurities


    Work on my own insecurities😳. I have respect to myself and others. It’s important to have morals and values in life and relationships. It’s not about emotional security here.


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    #47
    nikkibikki
    Registered Users Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭nikkibikki


    C3PO wrote:
    .... and now that I think about it ... my own partner kisses our male friends briefly on the lips when we meet ... I had never thought that there was anything strange about it ... maybe I should?

    Mr. Incognito wrote:
    I kiss female friends on the lips by way of greeting.


    The kisses in question were not by way of greeting though.


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    #48
    Happyrabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Happyrabbit


    thierry14 wrote: »
    Kissing your mother and your kids are a different, no?

    The girl OP describes, is hot and sexy

    She is lovely girl, but the man I was with at the wedding is greedy so doesn’t matter how hot and sexy, smart his girlfriend is( all his friends told him that when I met them) he still had to do something stupid.


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    #49
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm a woman. There are some of my male friends who I kiss on the lips and some of my female friends I kiss on the lips. I would do it happily in front of my other half. There are some I wouldn't dream of kissing on the lips because we don't have that kind of relationship. I also kiss my family on the lips.

    As someone said above, if he kisses everyone like that then that's just the way he is and you'll need to decide if you're comfortable with that. If it's just her, then you would be right to ask why.

    I don't think you're necessarily overreacting but I think the situation depends entirely on his usual habits.


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    #50
    Happyrabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Happyrabbit


    Colser wrote: »
    I wouldn't cause a row,probably just say I felt sick and was leaving and tbh I genuinely would feel upset a sick in that situation..I just think it sounds like a flirty thing going on and both showing no consideration for the OP's feelings.

    Thank you everyone for your opinions. I thought I was overreacting but I did well not creating any drama at the table because it was the bride and groom’s night. Thinking back, it wasn’t just a quick kiss on the lips, there was so many odd behaviours on that night. He was a hero to all the females friends. Went out of his way to complimenting on a girl, comforting, hugging other girl when she cried, lifting other lady foot up to check if there was something on her feet, the list goes on, he wasn’t only man at the party. Reg flags!

    He has been apologizing and promise the moon and stars but I told him every action has consequences, I lost a little trust in him, and I don’t want to take anymore sh*t. We haven’t been together long so I decided to take “a long break”.


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    #51
    TheChizler
    Registered Users Posts: 9,430 ✭✭✭TheChizler


    Wow no time wasted with you OP.

    Personally I don't see it as too weird, although my own partner wouldn't like it so I don't do it. As seen in this thread people have a mix of attitudes to kissing on the lips and whether the close contact is normal or too much. If you hadn't decided to break up I'd have suggested that you let him know how you feel about it and give him a chance to demonstrate that he could respect your feelings on the matter by not doing it in future. Communication in a relationship is key, and people aren't psychic. They can't be expected to know what your preferences are in a subjective situation like this.


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    #52
    LoMismo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 63 ✭✭LoMismo


    It sounds like you'd have to put up with this stuff all the time. Some people are ok with this overly flirty behaviour but it would just do my head in, probably because I'm about as far from flirty as you can get with women. So you've probably made the best decision here IMO.


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    #53
    Happyrabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Happyrabbit


    TheChizler wrote: »
    Wow no time wasted with you OP.

    Personally I don't see it as too weird, although my own partner wouldn't like it so I don't do it. As seen in this thread people have a mix of attitudes to kissing on the lips and whether the close contact is normal or too much. If you hadn't decided to break up I'd have suggested that you let him know how you feel about it and give him a chance to demonstrate that he could respect your feelings on the matter by not doing it in future. Communication in a relationship is key, and people aren't psychic. They can't be expected to know what your preferences are in a subjective situation like this.

    Thanks Chizler for your thought. we always communicated well. I told him how I feel about it. He accepted what he did was wrong but I just don’t see future with someone who has no respect for himself and his partner who he constantly says he is so in love with and can’t live without. God knows what he would do behind my back so no, I don’t want to give him another chance. Some people create their own storms then get upset when it rains.


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    #54
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,801 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    As your issue seems to be resolved, OP, we'll lock the thread to stop it turning into a general discussion.

    All the best.


This discussion has been closed.
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