Kissed friends partner on her lips?!

Happyrabbit

I was at the wedding with my boyfriend. We went out for 4 months. Before we arrived at the wedding. He told me he is very fond of one of his bestfriend’s partner. Let’s call her Laura. I was excited to see these good people in his life.

I met friends, they are lovely and fun people. In fact, I really like Laura, beautiful and friendly girl. I was sitting between Laura and himself, he leaned over and kissed her on her lips in front of me. He hugged her and kissed her on her head and cheeks many times during the night but it didn’t bother me as they are good friends but when he kissed her lips. I was like wow, that’s not something friends would do but I didn’t react at all and let him enjoy the rest of the evening. Next day when we drove back from the wedding. I told him what he did the night before was very inappropriate and I felt very uncomfortable. He apologied but I started to think differently of him,and I don’t feel like to meet him again anytime soon. I just need some space to think over. Respect and trust are very important to me, am I over reacting?

jimbobalob309

Do they have a dating history?

Seve OB

Happyrabbit wrote: »

am I over reacted?

Yes

helimachoptor

What does her boyfriend/his friend say about kissing on the lips?

LoMismo

Utterly bizarre behaviour on his part, right in front of his girlfriend. I'd be p*ssed off too. I can't say if he fancies her but I don't think you're overreacting.

Happyrabbit

jimbobalob309 wrote: »

Do they have a dating history?

They don’t have a dating history. They met two years ago and became good friends.

Happyrabbit

helimachoptor wrote: »

What does her boyfriend/his friend say about kissing on the lips?

Her boyfriend wasn’t happy when he heard. He asked my boyfriend he kissed his girlfriend and my boyfriend said nothing happened. I didn’t want to get involved.

Stellasmurf

Was he drunk?

Katgurl

I would not be happy and don't think you are overreacting. It is disrespectful at the very least.

You're not with him very long. If you don't want to see him again I wouldn't bother.

qwerty13

Before I comment on your situation OP, I just wanted to say that a friend of mine told me that her family all kiss each other on the lips. I find that really really weird tbh.

If your BF is like my friends family, well maybe that’s what he thinks people normally do. however, ever though you’ve only only been going out together for a short time, his behaviour with ‘Laura’ came as a surprise to you - so the question is, does he kiss family/good friends on the lips, or just her?

For me, if he kisses family/good friends on the lips, it’s still weird. But if he doesn’t do that, and singles out his best friends GF to kiss on the lips - even weirder! I think it’s really odd behaviour, and I would not be at all comfortable with it

suicide_circus

Kissing on the lips is an intimate act. Whatever about the very questionable practice some people go in for of kissing family on the lips (yuk), kissing a beautiful girl on the lips in front of ones girlfriend either makes him extremely insensitive or a moron.

Pawwed Rig

suicide_circus wrote: »

Kissing on the lips is an intimate act. Whatever about the very questionable practice some people go in for of kissing family on the lips (yuk), kissing a beautiful girl on the lips in front of ones girlfriend either makes him extremely insensitive or a moron.

I kiss my wife, son and daughter everyday. Why is it 'yuk'??

Rachiee

I kiss one of my close male friends on the lips rarely it is in no way romantic, he obviously didnt think it romantic either to kiss her as if he did he wouldn't have done it right infront of you, that being said I think it is really disrespectful to you and insensitive to your feelings so yeah it is a bit of a weird thing to do but does happen but bigger issue is respect and making you feel valued in his company.

suicide_circus

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I kiss my wife, son and daughter everyday. Why is it 'yuk'??

For me, kissing on the lips is reserved for lovers. It's just how I was raised I guess.

Ursus Horribilis

He also leaned across his own girlfriend to hug and kiss his "good female friend". Several times. That's not how platonic friends behave and don't let him try to convince you of that.

thierry14

Sound like he'd ride her all night if given the chance

Teyla Emmagan

Pawwed Rig wrote:

I kiss my wife, son and daughter everyday. Why is it 'yuk'??

On the lips? The lips for me is just for sexual kissing.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

DontThankMe

Don't think you're over reacting OP I'd find that very weird tbh. If he's done it with her how do you know he hasn't done it with other women he has a "special" relationship with.

Colser

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

He also leaned across his own girlfriend to hug and kiss his "good female friend". Several times. That's not how platonic friends behave and don't let him try to convince you of that.

He sounds like an a**hole and his friend sounds as bad going along with that ****e in front of you..how dare they treat you like that and no it definitely isn't normal.
I'd probably have walked out TBH.

splinter65

You’re not overreacting . Forget about him.

C3PO

I have a number of good "girlfriends" that I regularly kiss lightly and briefly on the lips! Some of them are the partners of my own friends. There is nothing sexual about it!

Katgurl

C3PO wrote: »

I have a number of good "girlfriends" that I regularly kiss lightly and briefly on the lips! Some of them are the partners of my own friends. There is nothing sexual about it!

Well would you kiss your male friends on the lips?

LoMismo

Rachiee wrote: »

I kiss one of my close male friends on the lips rarely it is in no way romantic, he obviously didnt think it romantic either to kiss her as if he did he wouldn't have done it right infront of you, that being said I think it is really disrespectful to you and insensitive to your feelings so yeah it is a bit of a weird thing to do but does happen but bigger issue is respect and making you feel valued in his company.

That is really weird, by my standards anyway. How stupid do people have to be to think this may not bother your partner? Common sense ffs.

C3PO

Katgurl wrote: »

Well would you kiss your male friends on the lips?

It has been known to happen ... there would usually be drink involved!

Ursus Horribilis

Colser wrote: »

He sounds like an a**hole and his friend sounds as bad going along with that ****e in front of you..how dare they treat you like that and no it definitely isn't normal.
I'd probably have walked out TBH.

True, but I think them being at a wedding probably stopped that happening. Nobody's going to want to start a row when sitting at a table with other people around.

C3PO

C3PO wrote: »

I have a number of good "girlfriends" that I regularly kiss lightly and briefly on the lips! Some of them are the partners of my own friends. There is nothing sexual about it!

.... and now that I think about it ... my own partner kisses our male friends briefly on the lips when we meet ... I had never thought that there was anything strange about it ... maybe I should?

I personally think that you're overreacting OP!

Ursus Horribilis

Would you be OK with your partner frequently leaning across you to hug and kiss these friends at a wedding though?

Colser

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

True, but I think them being at a wedding probably stopped that happening. Nobody's going to want to start a row when sitting at a table with other people around.

I wouldn't cause a row,probably just say I felt sick and was leaving and tbh I genuinely would feel upset a sick in that situation..I just think it sounds like a flirty thing going on and both showing no consideration for the OP's feelings.

Ursus Horribilis

Maybe. It was such an odd thing to happen, most people would probably just sit in their chair and seethe. Regardless, I'm not sure I'd want to continue in a relationship with someone who did that to me. It'd be a dealbreaker for me but perhaps it isn't for the OP. Ultimately it's her relationship and her decision to make.

Mr. Incognito

Its obvious platonic

I see nothing wrong with it

I kiss female friends on the lips by way of greeting.

Ive kissed male friends on the lips as piss takes

People are so weird about affection. You need to work on your insecurities

Ursus Horribilis

Do you lean across your other half to frequently hug and kiss your female friends at events?

I was sitting between Laura and himself, he leaned over and kissed her on her lips in front of me. He hugged her and kissed her on her head and cheeks many times during the night

Colser

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Its obvious platonic

I see nothing wrong with it

I kiss female friends on the lips by way of greeting.

Ive kissed male friends on the lips as piss takes

People are so weird about affection. You need to work on your insecurities

But the OP says that he hugged and kissed her(on the head) numerous times during the night..would your partner/girlfriend be OK with that?Maybe it's just me but I think that's ott .

Pawwed Rig

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

On the lips? The lips for me is just for sexual kissing.

Why? Genuinely confused by this and the other poster suicide. My mother would often kiss us too. To kiss someone and for them to reciprocate requires it to be on the lips. Are you honestly saying that kissing a child good night is sexual for you????

With regard to the OP it does sound like the guy was hanging out of her all night.

thierry14

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Why? Genuinely confused by this and the other poster suicide. My mother would often kiss us too. To kiss someone and for them to reciprocate requires it to be on the lips. Are you honestly saying that kissing a child good night is sexual for you????

With regard to the OP it does sound like the guy was hanging out of her all night.

Kissing your mother and your kids are a different, no?

The girl OP describes, is hot and sexy

LoMismo

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Why? Genuinely confused by this and the other poster suicide. My mother would often kiss us too. To kiss someone and for them to reciprocate requires it to be on the lips. Are you honestly saying that kissing a child good night is sexual for you????

With regard to the OP it does sound like the guy was hanging out of her all night.

No, my parents or no one has ever kissed me on the lips as a child or an adult unless they were a sexual partner. I would imagine it's the same for the vast majority of people. This is why we think it's odd that people kiss their kids on the lips, or anyone who they're not involved with sexually.

Pawwed Rig

thierry14 wrote: »

Kissing your mother and your kids are a different, no?

The girl OP describes, is hot and sexy

Of course it is but the 2 posters previously considered it sexual

Alf Veedersane

The OPs boyfriend kissing a female friend on the lips isn't worrisome in and of itself.

But all of the rest on top of it is. The repeated hugs and kisses at the table are OTT and inappropriate, at best.

As an aside, a parent kissing their child or a child kissing their parent on the lips isn't weird. If someone finds it sexual, it says more about them. If the intent isnt sexual, It's not sexual

Seve OB

FFS it was peck. Not like he stuck his tongue down her neck.

OP and a lot of you other folk need to lighten up a bit, life is to short to worry about such trivial matters

LoMismo

Seve OB wrote: »

FFS it was peck. Not like he stuck his tongue down her neck.

OP and a lot of you other folk need to lighten up a bit, life is to short to worry about such trivial matters

No one is worried. If you hadn't noticed, the whole jist of boards.ie is usually just for discussion of very trivial matters!

s15r330

LoMismo wrote: »

No, my parents or no one has ever kissed me on the lips as a child or an adult unless they were a sexual partner. I would imagine it's the same for the vast majority of people. This is why we think it's odd that people kiss their kids on the lips, or anyone who they're not involved with sexually.

Yeh its weird for sure, if I saw that my immediate reaction would be wtf, I reckon it'd be safe to say its the same for the majority of people

Ursus Horribilis

Why are people fixating on the kissing on the lips bit? What about the many times he leaned in to hug her and kiss her on the head and cheeks over the evening? Who does that to their platonic friends, especially when they're sitting beside their partners?

Happyrabbit

qwerty13 wrote: »

Before I comment on your situation OP, I just wanted to say that a friend of mine told me that her family all kiss each other on the lips. I find that really really weird tbh.

If your BF is like my friends family, well maybe that’s what he thinks people normally do. however, ever though you’ve only only been going out together for a short time, his behaviour with ‘Laura’ came as a surprise to you - so the question is, does he kiss family/good friends on the lips, or just her?

For me, if he kisses family/good friends on the lips, it’s still weird. But if he doesn’t do that, and singles out his best friends GF to kiss on the lips - even weirder! I think it’s really odd behaviour, and I would not be at all comfortable with it

Thanks. I agree, It’s an odd behaviour for me. No, he doesn’t kiss his family on their lips, except his best friend’s partner🙄. What a moron!

qwerty13

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Why are people fixating on the kissing on the lips bit? What about the many times he leaned in to hug her and kiss her on the head and cheeks over the evening? Who does that to their platonic friends, especially when they're sitting beside their partners?

I think because for a lot of people kissing another adult on the lips is something they only do when in a sexual relationship with them. So to anyone who operates on that basis, him kissing Laura on the lips is an unambiguous sign that he already has, or wants to have, some form of sexual contact with her.

The hugging and kissing on the cheek is on the face of it a bit more ambiguous - but leaning across his GF to do that, and doing it numerous times, is as inappropriate as the kissing in my book

Stellasmurf

It would definitely make me uncomfortable. Cheeks, no problem, but lips? Also given the fact he doesn't do it to others would suggest it's not something he normally does. It could be that perhaps the girl in question greets people like this. The fact it was done in public would suggest nothing untoward of it unless much alcohol was consumed which could lower inhibitions.
Also, people kissing their children on the lips is a silly comparison.

Happyrabbit

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Its obvious platonic

I see nothing wrong with it

I kiss female friends on the lips by way of greeting.

Ive kissed male friends on the lips as piss takes

People are so weird about affection. You need to work on your insecurities

Work on my own insecurities😳. I have respect to myself and others. It’s important to have morals and values in life and relationships. It’s not about emotional security here.

nikkibikki

C3PO wrote:

.... and now that I think about it ... my own partner kisses our male friends briefly on the lips when we meet ... I had never thought that there was anything strange about it ... maybe I should?

Mr. Incognito wrote:

I kiss female friends on the lips by way of greeting.

The kisses in question were not by way of greeting though.

Happyrabbit

thierry14 wrote: »

Kissing your mother and your kids are a different, no?

The girl OP describes, is hot and sexy

She is lovely girl, but the man I was with at the wedding is greedy so doesn’t matter how hot and sexy, smart his girlfriend is( all his friends told him that when I met them) he still had to do something stupid.

LegacyUser

I'm a woman. There are some of my male friends who I kiss on the lips and some of my female friends I kiss on the lips. I would do it happily in front of my other half. There are some I wouldn't dream of kissing on the lips because we don't have that kind of relationship. I also kiss my family on the lips.

As someone said above, if he kisses everyone like that then that's just the way he is and you'll need to decide if you're comfortable with that. If it's just her, then you would be right to ask why.

I don't think you're necessarily overreacting but I think the situation depends entirely on his usual habits.

Happyrabbit

Colser wrote: »

I wouldn't cause a row,probably just say I felt sick and was leaving and tbh I genuinely would feel upset a sick in that situation..I just think it sounds like a flirty thing going on and both showing no consideration for the OP's feelings.

Thank you everyone for your opinions. I thought I was overreacting but I did well not creating any drama at the table because it was the bride and groom’s night. Thinking back, it wasn’t just a quick kiss on the lips, there was so many odd behaviours on that night. He was a hero to all the females friends. Went out of his way to complimenting on a girl, comforting, hugging other girl when she cried, lifting other lady foot up to check if there was something on her feet, the list goes on, he wasn’t only man at the party. Reg flags!

He has been apologizing and promise the moon and stars but I told him every action has consequences, I lost a little trust in him, and I don’t want to take anymore sh*t. We haven’t been together long so I decided to take “a long break”.

TheChizler

Wow no time wasted with you OP.

Personally I don't see it as too weird, although my own partner wouldn't like it so I don't do it. As seen in this thread people have a mix of attitudes to kissing on the lips and whether the close contact is normal or too much. If you hadn't decided to break up I'd have suggested that you let him know how you feel about it and give him a chance to demonstrate that he could respect your feelings on the matter by not doing it in future. Communication in a relationship is key, and people aren't psychic. They can't be expected to know what your preferences are in a subjective situation like this.