Timekeeping issues

Professor Moriarty

igotissues wrote: »

I have had timekeeping issues my whole life. I am chronically late for everything. It has caused issues in my working life in the past but at the moment I am facing fairly major disciplinary action at work. I would be maybe 5 or 10 minutes late every day. I don't know why I do it to myself.
I know people will just say "oh cop on, just be on time". I just cant seem to manage it in any facet of my life. I am always rushing for everything, even if I get up in time, or have a lot of time to do something. The occasional (very rare) time that I manage to get somewhere or do something on time, I feel so great, but I can't put myself into a position to replicate it.
I am late for friends, collecting my kids, for work (obviously), late home, try to cram too much in....
I am also terrible at procrastinating; I seem to do my best work under pressure. Or not- sometimes because I have left it too late, I suppose I haven't done well in some exams, for example- but in general, I love the buzz of a deadline, and am extremely productive under pressure.
Is there anything that can help me? I have been seeing someone and I had mooted ADHD - and Ritilin was prescribed- but it made me very dopey and I was unable to think straight; it was very frightening (my memory and vocabulary went)- so it was decided to take me off them, and then I was told - there you see, no ADHD.

I am not trying to diagnose myself, but being late really upsets me, and I can't seem to do anything to rectify it on a consistent, ongoing basis.

If you were prescribed Ritalin then you must have been given an official diagnosis by a doctor. You should take heed of that diagnosis. Consider getting a second opinion (psychiatrist or clinical psychologist only) and if your original diagnosis is confirmed then discuss dosage/alternative medication. Also ask about an Occupational Therapy referral.

newboard

I'm not the best at timekeeping but have improved a lot since having my daughter as I have to get her in to school on time and don't want her put out by my inability to get on top of things.

One thing I find is that when getting ready in the morning, I suddenly become hyper aware of other productive stuff I can/should do. It's like since my brain is switched in to that mode, I notice all the stuff I breezed past when I'm in daydreaming mode And of course, time slips by and before you know it you're running 5 minutes late and the panic rush sets in!

Anyway, one thing I do now is not only do I set an alarm for when I have to wake up, I also set an alarm for when I have to leave the house. If I've to be somewhere at 9, and it takes 30 minutes to get there, I set an alarm for 9.25 so that when that alarm goes, I know I need to leave the house right now. Knowing that you have to leave right now really simplifies things - you're going from "I should leave soon" (vague) to "I need to leave now" (specific). Sometimes the alarm snaps you right out of that distracted mindset which you easily could have spent another 10 or 15 minutes in.

May not solve the problem but could help.

LaLa2004

OP - you have young children, a job & you are going through a separation & you are studying. You have taken on a lot there.

Do you take on too much, thinking you can do it all? A friend in whom you can confide or a counsellor, as suggested by others, would give you some 'you time'.

Here are some ADHD coping tips. Hope this link works.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/gracespelman/jammin-on-my-planner?utm_term=.bpVwJppY7#.fe4Y6WWwp

Reesy

OP, would this incentive work?

Write a large cheque made out to name of a cause that you hate. Put it in an envelope, address it to said cause, put a stamp on it.

Give it to a colleague & tell him / her that if you are not in by 9am, they are to post it to <insert cause>.

They would work for me. However, I would echo the above poster who suggested counselling.

igotissues

Thanks everyone. Lots of food for thought. I will go back to counselling, just money is a bit tight at the moment.
I met 2 pals at the weekend. One said work should be sympathetic, the other told me to cop on! So a little of column A and a little of Column B.

LolaJJ

I'm the opposite. Some days I'm up to an hour early for work, I panic about being late but also really value the flexibility my job affords me on the back of it. If I ever need an hour or a half day here and there they don't bat an eyelid, which is not the treatment my colleagues get.

The thing about lateness in the workplace, it unfortunately lends to a overall perception of disorganisation and chaos.

I personally can't stand lateness because i feel its rude. I think it's a complete and utter disrespect to anyone or business to feel that they should wait for you. And it's hard not to presume the person who is late is arrogant enough to feel like their time is somehow more valuable than yours.

That said, having read this thread I now see it can be deeper rooted than this. As other posters have suggested, I'd suggest mentally changing your working start time to 20 mins before your actual start time.

Mollyb60

Propperson wrote: »

I am the exact opposite to you when it comes to time keeping, I cannot be late for anything as this causes me a great deal of stress in fact I would much rather be early than late. When I have to go anywhere I am always up a good 2 hours prior to journey time, so can I relax and have breakfast and do all I need to before I go.

The night before I plan what to wear the next day and get those clothes ready, I prepare any food and any other items I need to take with me as well and I think about my day to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything. I usually iron all my work clothes at the weekend after they have been washed so I am ready for the week ahead and all I have to do is just select my clothes to wear.

My flatmate thinks I am odd and that I over prepare but I feel good when I have everything ready, it relaxes me. Even reading your email about being late makes me feel uncomfortable so perhaps I am on the opposite end of the spectrum to you. I haven’t always been this way just something I gradually picked up over the years and now I do it automatically.

I'm the same. This entire thread has made me anxious just reading it. I get nauseous when I think about being late for something. As a result I'm usually ridiculously early to things which annoys the people around me. I cannot abide being late for something but I just can't help myself. It's the same as you OP.

Whilst my anxiety about being late doesn't hugely affect my life in a negative way it's obvious that your chronic lateness is. As others have said here it's definitely worth looking into the root causes behind it and addressing that first off.

In the short term though I'm not sure what you can do. You may need to have a chat with your boss about it. If you can say that you are aware there is a serious problem and you're dealing with it and hope they can give you a bit of leeway.

Sheepdish1

For me to be on time for things I actually have to AIM to be at place etc 30 Mins before I need to be there.....it is the only way I’m actually on time for anything as I have time keeping problems too. Also I never realised how skewed my concept of time is. Ie 15 mins goes way faster than I actually thought

Lu Tze

Sheepdish1 wrote: »

For me to be on time for things I actually have to AIM to be at place etc 30 Mins before I need to be there.....it is the only way I’m actually on time for anything as I have time keeping problems too. Also I never realised how skewed my concept of time is. Ie 15 mins goes way faster than I actually thought

15 minutes can be an awfully long time when you are waiting for somebody who is late. Some of the responses here would drive me nuts, if I knew the person who I was waiting for half an hour was late because they got distracted cleaning out a cupboard or something instead of leaving on time for the meeting

Sheepdish1

Lu Tze wrote: »

15 minutes can be an awfully long time when you are waiting for somebody who is late. Some of the responses here would drive me nuts, if I knew the person who I was waiting for half an hour was late because they got distracted cleaning out a cupboard or something instead of leaving on time for the meeting

That’s why I aim to be 30 mins early for meeting people and appointments etc. It means if that if I get delayed for some reason by a few minutes that I’m still 15 mins early as opposed to someone waiting around.