Timekeeping issues

igotissues

I have had timekeeping issues my whole life. I am chronically late for everything. It has caused issues in my working life in the past but at the moment I am facing fairly major disciplinary action at work. I would be maybe 5 or 10 minutes late every day. I don't know why I do it to myself.
I know people will just say "oh cop on, just be on time". I just cant seem to manage it in any facet of my life. I am always rushing for everything, even if I get up in time, or have a lot of time to do something. The occasional (very rare) time that I manage to get somewhere or do something on time, I feel so great, but I can't put myself into a position to replicate it.
I am late for friends, collecting my kids, for work (obviously), late home, try to cram too much in....
I am also terrible at procrastinating; I seem to do my best work under pressure. Or not- sometimes because I have left it too late, I suppose I haven't done well in some exams, for example- but in general, I love the buzz of a deadline, and am extremely productive under pressure.
Is there anything that can help me? I have been seeing someone and I had mooted ADHD - and Ritilin was prescribed- but it made me very dopey and I was unable to think straight; it was very frightening (my memory and vocabulary went)- so it was decided to take me off them, and then I was told - there you see, no ADHD.

I am not trying to diagnose myself, but being late really upsets me, and I can't seem to do anything to rectify it on a consistent, ongoing basis.

silverharp

most companies are give and take , if you arrive late to you leave on time?

rainbowtrout

silverharp wrote: »

most companies are give and take , if you arrive late to you leave on time?

No they are not. Some jobs are time dependent and may involve an employee relieving another employee at the end of their shift. I teach, i have to be in my classroom when the bell goes, not saunter in 10 minutes later when I feel like it. If the OP is facing major disciplinary action then it matters in his job.

OP, if you don't get your act together as an adult those disciplinary actions may result in you losing your job. You may also find it hard to get another if you are giving your current employers as your reference.

You might just have to start setting alarms for yourself on your phone allotting time to each activity you have to do and stick to them. Set your alarm earlier than you normally would in the morning and get up and make sure you get to work on time. Time yourself on how long you take to complete everything in the morning. The person who says they can be up and showered, dressed, get the kids up, get breakfast for everyone and out the door in 10 minutes is codding themselves. Saying the drive to work takes only 15 minutes when you know in your heart and soul there isn't a chance you'd make it in under 25. Sit down and work through everything logically before you get yourself fired.


And if you are committing to too many activities then you have to reassess what you are at and figure out what is a priority.

There's only so much leeway people will give you before they say enough is enough and stop arranging to meet you because they don't see you respecting their time, which you're not.

igotissues

There is no leeway. You must be in by a certain time. It is irrelevant if you stay late to make up for it, which I tend to do.
I have tried setting alarms for myself; changing the time on my watch, setting everything out the night before; I just get distracted by other tasks and even though I am screaming at myself inside, I can't tear myself away from that task.
e.g. I had a job interview and I knew that I wanted the job as it would lead to other opportunities. I was nervous before the interview. I said you must give yourself 30 minutes to get there so that you arrive in plenty of time. It is a 15 minute drive. I started doing tasks in the house, and ended up giving myself 13 minutes to drive to the interview. I ran in the door of the place. As I was doing the tasks I was screaming WTF ARE YOU DOING??????? but I couldn't stop until it was nearly too late.
I can't describe it; it's like a sickness. I don't want to be like this.

dellas1979

There are fail safes that could help you.

At work, if you have Outlook for example, add reminders at the time youve to go. And be ready to go. That means going to loo/tidying desk/last chat at least 5 mins before whatever time you leave.

See that time as your deadline/your target.

In the morning, get up 15 minutes earlier.

Get things prepped in the evening (bags/lunches etc).

You can only best guess how long its going to take somewhere, so if you guess somewhere is 30mins away, give yourself 35 mins.

Edit: From your last post, seems a little....compulsive. I suppose, ask yourself what would happen if you didnt get the task done and had to leave. Would the world fall apart?

Its all about creating good habits for yourself! Takes a little time to create a new habit btw.

igotissues

dellas1979 wrote: »

There are fail safes that could help you.

At work, if you have Outlook for example, add reminders at the time youve to go. And be ready to go. That means going to loo/tidying desk/last chat at least 5 mins before whatever time you leave.

See that time as your deadline/your target.

In the morning, get up 15 minutes earlier.

Get things prepped in the evening (bags/lunches etc).

You can only best guess how long its going to take somewhere, so if you guess somewhere is 30mins away, give yourself 35 mins.

Its all about creating habits for yourself!

You're right. I have major issues in estimating how long something will take. It's ridiculous and I feel so ashamed of it. I have let so many people down over the years.

GreeBo

If you have to be in by 9, start trying to be in by 8:45
that way you can be "late" but still not in trouble.

dellas1979

How do you mean, how long things will take?

Are you talking about a journey?

Googlemap it. If route says 15 mins. Give yourself 20 mins.

You dont seem to have any.....fail safes in that thought process yet.

If youre talking about work, that's a different story. You seem like someone target driven. In the job I do, I could be working on something all day. But I will look at the clock and say "By 12.30, I am going to have x,y,z done" and that's my target for the morning. Rather than working aimlessly on it.

rainbowtrout

igotissues wrote: »

It is a 15 minute drive. I started doing tasks in the house, and ended up giving myself 13 minutes to drive to the interview. I ran in the door of the place. As I was doing the tasks I was screaming WTF ARE YOU DOING??????? but I couldn't stop until it was nearly too late.
.

If you get distracted by other tasks then perhaps the key is to not start them. If that means in this scenario that you leave the house an hour early for the interview and have to sit in the car park for 45 minutes before you go in, so be it.

Or if you have to sit in your living room talking to yourself out loud telling yourself that you have to leave soon for your interview so you don't have time to do anything else, it can wait until you get home, then do so.

Maybe you need to remove yourself from whatever is causing the distraction until you can form a habit of turning up on time.

angeldaisy

to me this is more than just timekeeping issues. have you looked into counselling? something like CBT might work for you.

igotissues

@dellas: It could be anything. I might need to have a shower and I'll say Oh that will take me 10 minutes (correct) but then I forget to calculate that I will need 10 minutes to get dressed and 10 minutes to get bag packed and leave- so then I am already late for my 15 minute drive. It seems logical, but when it comes to time and me; it's anything but.

@rainbowtrout: I feel that I have a lot on my plate and I never have enough time; and that is why I try and fill every little space of time in my day. This may not be strictly true because of how badly I structure my time, and how much time I waste (faffing, on social media, procrastinating etc.) Broadly speaking, I work full time, I also study part time, I have a young family and am in the middle of a separation. But that said, it was ever thus, even as a child I was late for everything- and I had none of the above.

mcgiggles

OP you may as well have climbed in my brain and written down exactly what I feel in a way I never could! I almost feel like screenshotting your messages as they explain what I can't. I'm the exact same, constantly late, haven't let people down so much in anything too life changing, and actually have a friend in our group who is always later than me so with my group of friends I get away with it. But the fact that I say "okay I have to leave at 7:30 to get in for 8 allowing for traffic". Then, not purposely, i just find myself cleaning something or taking washing out of machine or just bringing something upstairs while all along saying to myself "i should be gone".. It's extremely irritating that I can't seem to make myself just leave the task until later!! Luckily my job has flexi time so I'm okay on that side also..

Jenneke87

I'm just like you: always late. If I say " I'll meet you at 20:00 you're lucky if I'm there by 20:30. I always feel like I've got more time than I actually have and I have the same compulsive streak as you've mentioned; once caught up in something it's difficult to stop. So far, it has not caused issues for work, but a couple of times it was touch and go. Just like you, I've tried so many things but it's useless: if I set an alarm, I'll just turn it off when it goes off, or press the snooze button. Running for the tram has become my daily exercise routine. The mental scolding that's involved to keep myself on track is exhausting....Someone echoed therapy and I think that's a good idea. I'm currently attending therapy myself for other issues but we're also attending what I just described. No amount of being strict to yourself is going to help if there is an element of compulsion involved. You need to break that first. 
As for you work: you could plead your case with them and tell them what's going on. But I don't know whether it's a wise thing to do or not because it could go both ways: They'll either appreciate your honesty, realism you have an issue and give you a second chance or they'll find it ridiculous that you can't do such a simple thing (in their eyes) as coming on time. I hope it will work out for the best. good luck!

DoozerT6

Some sort of therapy would probably be a good idea, because chronic lateness may eventually cost you jobs and friendships. People aren't too interested in constantly hearing 'sorry I'm late' a half hour after you're meant to be somewhere. I'd have no time for that sort of thing.

Surely if you follow the same routine every day you have figured out how to arrive somewhere, eg work, on time?

Purple Mountain

Try go by the saying.. being early is on time and being on time is late.

BnB

Hi OP - I don't think I can really help much or possibly at all, but just in case you think you are on your own, I am the very very same.

I wouldn't be half an hour late, but I am always maybe 5 minutes late or just about arriving on time after putting myself under pressure. And yes - Sometimes it is because I have too much on, but the vast majority of the time is completely my own fault and I just didn't leave in time to get where I am going to because even though I was ready in lots of time, I started doing some other job or reading a book or something and just left it too late.

And exactly as you wrote, on the odd occasion, I leave in plenty of time and I am there 15 or 20 minutes early for something I feel great about myself. But yet I continue to run late.

gaynorvader

I'm very rarely late. Here's my secret. I aim to be there 30 minutes early. Not a pretend aim, I have the intention of arriving into work 30mins-60mins before I have to. Often I miss the target and am only 10-15 mins early, but it seems like I'm really punctual, when in actuality I just get up about 45 minutes earlier than I absolutely need to to get to work on time. I usually check personal emails, have breakfast and similar before my start time in the office.

C3PO

angeldaisy wrote: »

to me this is more than just timekeeping issues. have you looked into counselling? something like CBT might work for you.

I agree with this ... this is not just a "punctuality" issue! It's like you are almost deliberately doing this to yourself! I would definitely be looking to get some counselling!

December2012

Being habitually late is self destructive when it gets to the me el you describe

Are you self destructive in other ways?

fineso.mom

A friend of mine was like you OP, she was always late and putting herself under pressure. She had a job and family but even when she had time she was late. She went to counselling for something else and it was suggested to her that she was self sabotaging. She said it was like a light switch going on when the counsellor explained what it meant and between them they figured it stemmed from insecurity and a lack of self esteem. After a few months of counselling and a lot of work on herself she is a different person. Might be worth looking into it.

trishasaffron

I am the opposite. I am always punctual......being on time is my priority. So I don't wipe down the counter, or fill the dishwasher or empty the washing machine....I just go. In the past I was derided for always being on time....."not cool". But things have changed & society is no longer tolerant towardsthe chronically late. I have two old & much valued friends I no longer arrange to meet because I feel so disrespected when they are late. It feels like their time & tasks are important but mine aren't.

fishy_fishy

trishasaffron wrote: »

I have two old & much valued friends I no longer arrange to meet because I feel so disrespected when they are late. It feels like their time & tasks are important but mine aren't.

This is the crux of it, OP.
People get annoyed if you're late because it's disrespectful and selfish. You're telling them you see no value in their time.

You need a change of mindset - don't be determined to be on time because society expects it. Be determined to be on time because you have enough respect for the people around you who have valuable things they can do with their time other than waiting for you to show up.

Paddy Cow

There are lots of helpful videos on Youtube that address the problem of being late. Just type "always late for work" into youtube. Watch a few of them and you might pick up some tips or gain some insight into why you do it. You know it's a big problem and only you can address it.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

somefeen

I'd speak to a counsellor OP. Explain the problems your having to your doctor to. It might not be ADHD if this is the only issue you have, but could it be worth getting another opinion or trying different medication?

I have this problem to. I eventually did work it out. I'm going to give a lengthy explanation and hopefully you'll see some of yourself in it.

The reason I could always meet a deadline but never be on time, even with threat of losing my job seems to me to be a matter of consequences.

If you are late for work, nothing happens. Your boss MIGHT be angry at you and you MIGHT lose your job but these are blurry things nothing is definite. The consequences of bad time keeping in most jobs are distant and accumalative. Maybe no one will notice, what difference does it actually make to anyone?
I'm really struggling to explain this but maybe I could sum it up as "the consequences of being late are not immediate".
For most jobs anyway.
When I was in college, if you handed an assignment in even one minute late, your grade was capped at a D.
That was an immediate and unavoidable consequence.
It wasn't like if you kept handing them in late eventually they would get annoyed and then there would be trouble if it continued. It was going to be capped at D and that was it.
I never handed an assignment in late.

Without an immediate threat or real definite reward I can't focus on getting into work on time. My mind will wander off, I'll compulsively do other things. Nobody will believe this, but I even forget to get out of bed.
None of the alarm tricks, aiming to be in an hour earlier or reminders work for me.

Someone's bound to ask, " what if your boss says if you continue being late your fired, surely that's an immediate and unavoidable consequence"
Yeah but I also don't like being told what to do or punished. I'd rather **** my life up entirely than respond to a threat or punishment.
Anytime my boss complained about my timekeeping. I made damn sure I was late the next day. Self destructive defiance.
So the two things feed off each other. Come in late one day and someone comments on it, that's it, goodbye job.
It was hard to realise these things and the same self destructive defiance makes it extremely difficult to change. I hope I'm not blabbering on about myself too much here but Im hoping if you read this you might be able to see yourself in it and get a better understanding of your issue.

For some hope, I always managed to be on time for jobs where it actually mattered. The kind where if your not there at 0730 there will be a chain reaction of disasters and real issues.
Most jobs nothing happens, you might send an email or finish a job 5 minutes later than you would have otherwise. Oooooooh the drama.

igotissues

Thanks everyone. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing your stories.

Someone mentioned being selfish; i really don't mean to be. I know the outcome is selfish but it's that I'm trying to do everything and end up doing nothing well.

There is an element of struggle /self confidence and self sabotage most likely. Not consciously though. As in I feel well capable in my job and i like juggling lots of stuff.

The "no immediate consequences" is good too. Often I would stay up late as I'm a night owl and also it's the only time I get to myself. Knock on consequence is I'm tired trying to get up next day. However, I went to bed early last night; about 11 and I'm still exhausted today so I feel what s the effing point.

An element of defiance maybe? Or that overestimated belief in one's ability that people get when they suffer very low confidence?

igotissues

igotissues wrote: »

The "no immediate consequences" is good too. Often I would stay up late as I'm a night owl and also it's the only time I get to myself. Knock on consequence is I'm tired trying to get up next day. However, I went to bed early last night; about 11 and I'm still exhausted today so I feel what s the effing point.

One night of good sleep isn't going to make up for the deficit of a week of bad (or shortened) sleeping. Every night you don't get the necessary sleep you bring on a cognitive deficit that will take days to recover from. Before I go into a long post, can I recommend a brilliant book called "the organised mind" by Daniel Levitin. It explains so much about how our mind functions, why we operate in the ways we do.

I realised when I am late these days, it's not just because I left 5 minutes late, it's because I got up late, it's because I went to sleep late, it's because I read late, it's because i went to bed late etc. It's a chain of events. There is undoubtedly an underlying reason why you are late and it might be both physical and psychological. People perceive time differently to each other. A minute is an objective measure of time, but to some people perceive it as longer or shorter than it is.

I am very similar to you OP, and I think the above point about delayed (or unseen) consequences is very important. I don't know what area you work in but let's be realistic, if you were the Lionel Messi of your workplace, this wouldn't be an issue. No one gets rid of an exceptional employee for minor issues. I could be way off, and apologies if I am, but I imagine you work in an area without visible or tangible results for a days work (most office work falls into this area, where projects take months and who did what isn't always clear). Because it is hard to objectively judge the workers on these projects, bosses instead judge on things they can objectively judge (ie, are they on time, do they contribute to the group meetings, do they "seem engaged", are they working long hours etc). It doesn't matter if you are great at your job if your boss can't see that, and if every day you create an impression of indifference, or apathy or carelessness (which poor timekeeping goes a long way to create) the boss will judge you on their perceptions of you. I don't agree with it as a method of employee evaluation but I can see why it happens.

I remember reading Alan Carr's book on giving up alcohol and he made the salient point that if a teenage non-drinker could see the impact of drinking in general on their life over the next twenty years they wouldn't drink, but we don't see one pint as the reason a guy who is drinking for twenty years is overweight or unfit etc. We can see the cumulative affect but we don't connect it with each individual pint. The cumulative consequence is virtually unseen because one pint is so harmless. Likewise, you know why you are late and why you didn't mean to be, your boss doesn't. You can see each day as a unique series of events. You boss doesn't, they see a guy who they perceive just doesn't care enough to be on time.

Anyhow, I really recommend the Levitin book above, it's really helped me understand how the mind works.

rainbowtrout

You don't get over exhaustion from a series of late nights in one night, you will need to start going to bed early consistently to see a difference. You need to form the habit.

It's like someone trying to lose weight saying 'I ate salad today and didn't lose half a stone so there's no point eating healthy food' and resuming the junk food diet the following day.


Something you've mentioned in previous posts OP is that you're going through a separation. You haven't elaborated on this point whether yourself and your ex are still living under the same roof or in separate accommodation. You have mentioned being late to pick up the kids.

This is something that could come back to bite you on the arse at a later stage if your ex is saying 'he never comes to pick the kids up on time, and never drops them back at the agreed time', or you are always late picking them up from the creche, you could be painted as the person who won't comply with the agreement put in place about access to your kids.

On top of that if you do end up losing your job if you can't get your arse in gear to turn up for work, how are you going to provide for your kids aside from anything else? To be honest despite the fact that you're facing major disciplinary action at work because of your lateness, you still had to take a half day to prevent yourself being late for work is fcuking ridiculous. How much of a kick up the arse do you need?


What annoys me about people who are perennially late is that they can always manage to make it to something like a flight which is completely time dependent, which shows they can make it on time, and if they can do it for something with a specific consequence they can do it the rest of the time, they just can't be arsed.


I see this time and time again in school on the days we bring kids away on a bus first thing in the morning, there are always kids who are late because they believe the bus will wait for them (and usually does), yet the day we go on the train, every child is on time because they know the train won't wait. It's just selfish behaviour.

igotissues

Rt: you're right; it's pathetic. I beat myself up for it all the time. Otoh, I was super productive in work.
I've missed flights before too. I get ill feeling I have to be somewhere at a specific time now as it's such an issue. Sometimes I had rather not go or go hours and hours in advance.
So it's not that I'll be punctual if I know something is at a particular time.

It's nothing that drastic regards the kids. Just enough to be irritating.

Yea to whoever said that it's not possible to measure performance except in the minutae such as timekeeping.

Propperson

I am the exact opposite to you when it comes to time keeping, I cannot be late for anything as this causes me a great deal of stress in fact I would much rather be early than late. When I have to go anywhere I am always up a good 2 hours prior to journey time, so can I relax and have breakfast and do all I need to before I go.

The night before I plan what to wear the next day and get those clothes ready, I prepare any food and any other items I need to take with me as well and I think about my day to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything. I usually iron all my work clothes at the weekend after they have been washed so I am ready for the week ahead and all I have to do is just select my clothes to wear.

My flatmate thinks I am odd and that I over prepare but I feel good when I have everything ready, it relaxes me. Even reading your email about being late makes me feel uncomfortable so perhaps I am on the opposite end of the spectrum to you. I haven’t always been this way just something I gradually picked up over the years and now I do it automatically.

LynnGrace

OP, you sound very tough on yourself. I know it's been suggested already but some counselling might help.

(Something I remind myself of every now and then, if I am being negative or hard on myself is - what would you say to a friend in this situation. It stops me in my tracks.)

On the tired thing, maybe it would be no harm to have a general check up with your doctor also. Just to rule out anything physical.

Take care of yourself. It sounds very wearing for you, so I hope that you find some strategies to help.

Professor Moriarty

igotissues wrote: »

I have had timekeeping issues my whole life. I am chronically late for everything. It has caused issues in my working life in the past but at the moment I am facing fairly major disciplinary action at work. I would be maybe 5 or 10 minutes late every day. I don't know why I do it to myself.
I know people will just say "oh cop on, just be on time". I just cant seem to manage it in any facet of my life. I am always rushing for everything, even if I get up in time, or have a lot of time to do something. The occasional (very rare) time that I manage to get somewhere or do something on time, I feel so great, but I can't put myself into a position to replicate it.
I am late for friends, collecting my kids, for work (obviously), late home, try to cram too much in....
I am also terrible at procrastinating; I seem to do my best work under pressure. Or not- sometimes because I have left it too late, I suppose I haven't done well in some exams, for example- but in general, I love the buzz of a deadline, and am extremely productive under pressure.
Is there anything that can help me? I have been seeing someone and I had mooted ADHD - and Ritilin was prescribed- but it made me very dopey and I was unable to think straight; it was very frightening (my memory and vocabulary went)- so it was decided to take me off them, and then I was told - there you see, no ADHD.

I am not trying to diagnose myself, but being late really upsets me, and I can't seem to do anything to rectify it on a consistent, ongoing basis.

If you were prescribed Ritalin then you must have been given an official diagnosis by a doctor. You should take heed of that diagnosis. Consider getting a second opinion (psychiatrist or clinical psychologist only) and if your original diagnosis is confirmed then discuss dosage/alternative medication. Also ask about an Occupational Therapy referral.

newboard

I'm not the best at timekeeping but have improved a lot since having my daughter as I have to get her in to school on time and don't want her put out by my inability to get on top of things.

One thing I find is that when getting ready in the morning, I suddenly become hyper aware of other productive stuff I can/should do. It's like since my brain is switched in to that mode, I notice all the stuff I breezed past when I'm in daydreaming mode And of course, time slips by and before you know it you're running 5 minutes late and the panic rush sets in!

Anyway, one thing I do now is not only do I set an alarm for when I have to wake up, I also set an alarm for when I have to leave the house. If I've to be somewhere at 9, and it takes 30 minutes to get there, I set an alarm for 9.25 so that when that alarm goes, I know I need to leave the house right now. Knowing that you have to leave right now really simplifies things - you're going from "I should leave soon" (vague) to "I need to leave now" (specific). Sometimes the alarm snaps you right out of that distracted mindset which you easily could have spent another 10 or 15 minutes in.

May not solve the problem but could help.

LaLa2004

OP - you have young children, a job & you are going through a separation & you are studying. You have taken on a lot there.

Do you take on too much, thinking you can do it all? A friend in whom you can confide or a counsellor, as suggested by others, would give you some 'you time'.

Here are some ADHD coping tips. Hope this link works.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/gracespelman/jammin-on-my-planner?utm_term=.bpVwJppY7#.fe4Y6WWwp

Reesy

OP, would this incentive work?

Write a large cheque made out to name of a cause that you hate. Put it in an envelope, address it to said cause, put a stamp on it.

Give it to a colleague & tell him / her that if you are not in by 9am, they are to post it to <insert cause>.

They would work for me. However, I would echo the above poster who suggested counselling.

igotissues

Thanks everyone. Lots of food for thought. I will go back to counselling, just money is a bit tight at the moment.
I met 2 pals at the weekend. One said work should be sympathetic, the other told me to cop on! So a little of column A and a little of Column B.

LolaJJ

I'm the opposite. Some days I'm up to an hour early for work, I panic about being late but also really value the flexibility my job affords me on the back of it. If I ever need an hour or a half day here and there they don't bat an eyelid, which is not the treatment my colleagues get.

The thing about lateness in the workplace, it unfortunately lends to a overall perception of disorganisation and chaos.

I personally can't stand lateness because i feel its rude. I think it's a complete and utter disrespect to anyone or business to feel that they should wait for you. And it's hard not to presume the person who is late is arrogant enough to feel like their time is somehow more valuable than yours.

That said, having read this thread I now see it can be deeper rooted than this. As other posters have suggested, I'd suggest mentally changing your working start time to 20 mins before your actual start time.

Mollyb60

Propperson wrote: »

I am the exact opposite to you when it comes to time keeping, I cannot be late for anything as this causes me a great deal of stress in fact I would much rather be early than late. When I have to go anywhere I am always up a good 2 hours prior to journey time, so can I relax and have breakfast and do all I need to before I go.

The night before I plan what to wear the next day and get those clothes ready, I prepare any food and any other items I need to take with me as well and I think about my day to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything. I usually iron all my work clothes at the weekend after they have been washed so I am ready for the week ahead and all I have to do is just select my clothes to wear.

My flatmate thinks I am odd and that I over prepare but I feel good when I have everything ready, it relaxes me. Even reading your email about being late makes me feel uncomfortable so perhaps I am on the opposite end of the spectrum to you. I haven’t always been this way just something I gradually picked up over the years and now I do it automatically.

I'm the same. This entire thread has made me anxious just reading it. I get nauseous when I think about being late for something. As a result I'm usually ridiculously early to things which annoys the people around me. I cannot abide being late for something but I just can't help myself. It's the same as you OP.

Whilst my anxiety about being late doesn't hugely affect my life in a negative way it's obvious that your chronic lateness is. As others have said here it's definitely worth looking into the root causes behind it and addressing that first off.

In the short term though I'm not sure what you can do. You may need to have a chat with your boss about it. If you can say that you are aware there is a serious problem and you're dealing with it and hope they can give you a bit of leeway.

Sheepdish1

For me to be on time for things I actually have to AIM to be at place etc 30 Mins before I need to be there.....it is the only way I’m actually on time for anything as I have time keeping problems too. Also I never realised how skewed my concept of time is. Ie 15 mins goes way faster than I actually thought

Lu Tze

Sheepdish1 wrote: »

For me to be on time for things I actually have to AIM to be at place etc 30 Mins before I need to be there.....it is the only way I’m actually on time for anything as I have time keeping problems too. Also I never realised how skewed my concept of time is. Ie 15 mins goes way faster than I actually thought

15 minutes can be an awfully long time when you are waiting for somebody who is late. Some of the responses here would drive me nuts, if I knew the person who I was waiting for half an hour was late because they got distracted cleaning out a cupboard or something instead of leaving on time for the meeting

Sheepdish1

Lu Tze wrote: »

15 minutes can be an awfully long time when you are waiting for somebody who is late. Some of the responses here would drive me nuts, if I knew the person who I was waiting for half an hour was late because they got distracted cleaning out a cupboard or something instead of leaving on time for the meeting

That’s why I aim to be 30 mins early for meeting people and appointments etc. It means if that if I get delayed for some reason by a few minutes that I’m still 15 mins early as opposed to someone waiting around.