Friends abandoned me when life got great ! 40 year olds

Lostphrophet

Bit of an odd one this my parents allways said when your stuck or chips down your mates will drop ya like a hot snot.. Hmm ok fair enuff. Had a fairly normal life lost jobs girlfriends the usual. Bad few years during recession. Have 2 best mates pretty much same boat as me when bad times hit in fairness i could allways meet them and have a chat with them like support group after all we were all in same boat similar upbringing life etc. Our lives literally have ran similar same course last 2o years. All good. So recently i came into some financial good luck. Like not life changing but allowed me to buy a pretty awesome new pad which i in fairness would never of afforded only for said good luck. So i mentioned briefly to best mate one night over a few pints that was moving and came into some good luck he enquired and i noticed him get very snotty about it.. They were there for my bad so times were good so things were looking up after a few dire years
I didnt boast at all was more quiet as was a little shamey as my good fortune was based on pure luck.
So anyway long story short... both lads have distanced themselves from me since my news. I asked them over for house warming but both busy. Quite confused as they are both single and on my watsapp . Its like as soon as i got a financial break i got the boot. I thought your friends ditched you when times were hard! Anyone had familiar thing happen. Weird thing is both lads are single with no kids and working normal jobs only .
Any texts i send are replied to with very quick yes no answers same with watsapp.
No chat at all from either anymore since xmas! No meeting for xmas drinks new years drinks no more jokey texts chats or anything. All my advances met with curt one line replies
Like i know these guys since i was 13.. were now all in 40s lol

December2012

That's unusual What's going on in their lives that could be the cause? Do you live near each other and do they see each other?

Lostphrophet

December2012 wrote: »

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They dont drive but i used to pick them up once a month for drinks in my place before i bought new house and drop them home as no direct bus. No probs with that . Allways had spare room for them as i do now 🀀

Lostphrophet

Lostphrophet wrote: »

<Snip> No need to repost previous post

I should mention also they both meet each other still for drinks and golf but im no longer invited

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000

Irish begrugery and jealousy.

Lostphrophet

Hunky Monster wrote: »

<Snip> No need to repost previous post

Gas thing is i used to laugh at my parents advice saying nope when chips down my mates will be nowhere to be found
Shocked when chips were up i got dumped especially by adults

as_mo_bhosca

could it be anything to do with the way you came in to the money?

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000

Lostphrophet wrote: »

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I found it the same myself. When chips were down the lads were ALWAYS there...well some of em.

When I found my missus, got the first genuinely good job and started to make some money those mates were gone.

It's strange.

Lostphrophet

as_mo_bhosca wrote: »

could it be anything to do with the way you came in to the money?

I came into money via inheritance. It was i guess a sizeable amount from a person i wasnt expecting it from. Very odd but very greatful it did in fairness get me out of some holes

Lostphrophet

Hunky Monster wrote: »

I found it the same myself. When chips were down the lads were ALWAYS there...well some of em.

When I found my missus, got the first genuinely good job and started to make some money those mates were gone.

It's strange.

Chips down mean bad times yes

as_mo_bhosca

Lostphrophet wrote: »

I came into money via inheritance. It was i guess a sizeable amount from a person i wasnt expecting it from. Very odd but very greatful it did in fairness get me out of some holes

Oh ok. Does sound strange. Could understand their behaviour some bit if your financial gain was through some dubious claim.

Lostphrophet

as_mo_bhosca wrote: »

<Snip> No need to repost previous post

Nope not at all. All above board . Thinking they were annoyed i had come into a few bob i said i must fund a few lads night out drinks in pub
. They agreed to that but only near there area as were not in mood of sitting indoors... in my area or coming to my area in general.

Lostphrophet

I guess after messaging plenty etc should i just quit messagin coming across as needy.

moneymad

I've a friend who when he met his first girlfriend and lost loads of weigh changed into a prick.
These things happen.

Money amplifies your personality. If you're a genuinly honest kind person and you come into money those traits get stronger.

If you're a bit of a prick, but bearable, and you come into money, it only helps to make you not enjoyable to be around.

What type of person are you? And what type of people are they?

Congrats on having a house payed off. That's a weight off your shoulders for life.

Fann Linn

Probably just sour grapes. The lads are stuck in a rut, probably with their own financial worries and you've hit the jackpot, in their eyes.
It's not your fault.
Give it time would be my advice.

Lostphrophet

moneymad wrote: »

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Genuinely im a quiet lad allmost was ashamed to admit i bought dream house and also had money left over for holiday home abroad. I also offered them use of that free for any amount of time any time of year both declined.

Lostphrophet

moneymad wrote: »

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Were all fairly bog standard quietish lads know each other from 1st year till 40 odd

moneymad

Lostphrophet wrote: »

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Have a chat about it all with them separately. They should be happy for you.

Colser

Lostphrophet wrote: »

Were all fairly bog standard quietish lads know each other from 1st year till 40 odd

Honestly I'd forget about them tbh.It's
jealousy imo.Also you seem to have done all the running in the friendship,not only were you having them over to your house but you were dropping and collecting them,they sound like complete users tbh.Have you other friends ?

Lostphrophet

Colser wrote: »

<Snip> No need to repost previous post

Not really they were my mates through thick and thin since first year. I have been one chasin on watsapp and text getting cool replies..
Ive sent multiple meetup messages all coldly side stepped for silly excuses even though my sister has seen them in local together . Should i just delete numbers so i dont make ass of myself asking them out again to be rejected

Max Prophet

Lostphrophet wrote: »

<Snip> No need to repost previous post

Would it hurt you to throw them a few lids out of your pile of cash ?

Lostphrophet

Max Prophet wrote: »

Would it hurt you to throw them a few lids out of your pile of cash ?

I hasten to add i offered free unlimited use of a new spanish holiday home and even suggested a summer all expenses paid trip over to both for a week both refused
My main best guy i offered him a free piss up weekend in nyc from windfall . His reply was ill get back to ya bud. Cant promise anything though
Also bought two new sports cars that i had spoke off for years which they had told me were pipe dreams. I agreed at the time but i was able to just about afford them. Best mate was visibly disgusted when he saw it. Immediatly counted up how many years old it was and gave me his personal valuation on it. Apparently i was robbed🀀

17togo

Lostphrophet wrote:

I hasten to add i offered free unlimited use of a new spanish holiday home and even suggested a summer all expenses paid trip over to both for a week both refused My main best guy i offered him a free piss up weekend in nyc from windfall . His reply was ill get back to ya bud. Cant promise anything though

I hope this doesn't sound weird or needy, but I'll be you're best friend.

Lostphrophet

17togo wrote: »

I hope this doesn't sound weird or needy, but I'll be you're best friend.

I spent all my money nothing left 🀣

Colser

Lostphrophet wrote: »

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I'd drop them tbh and never speak to them again ,if what you're saying is true they're dickheads imo.

Fann Linn

Lostphrophet wrote: »

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Any pics of your holiday homes or sport cars? Just so we can see what your mates are missing out on.

Lostphrophet

Colser wrote: »

I'd drop them tbh and never speak to them again ,if what you're saying is true they're dickheads imo.

Yeah was guessin that. Ill delete their numbers as im only short of offering them hard cash to associate with me lol. Shocking after 25 years that a few quid would do thar

punisher5112

I think by the way your talking here you are sort of going on like oh look I after getting a new house and place in Spain....


I would guess it's a bit of a kick in the teeth.

I would say cool it for a while and stop going on about the money and the new gaff etc....

I don't know how you went about telling them but they may feel really down about their money problems and so on.

Lostphrophet

Fann Linn wrote: »

Any pics of your holiday homes or sport cars? Just so we can see what your mates are missing out on.

My sports cars have a combined age of 20 years so not even valuable they look good but bloody worthless really. Holiday home in spain. Worth feck all sounds great but not that impressive

Lostphrophet

punisher5112 wrote: »

I think by the way your talking here you are sort of going on like oh look I after getting a new house and place in Spain....


I would guess it's a bit of a kick in the teeth.

I would say cool it for a while and stop going on about the money and the new gaff etc....

I don't know how you went about telling them but they may feel really down about their money problems and so on.

Was more like i am a jammy git. Lets share the fun mates woo 😉

17togo

Lostphrophet wrote:

I spent all my money nothing left 🀣

I don't mind........ We can sell your two gaffs.


But anyway, it does sound like good old begrudgery. Ye were together all these years on the same journey and now you're sorted financially and they're just plain jealous.
They weren't in anyway connected to the person you got the inheritance off and thought they might have gotten some?!

I'd try talk to them and just say what you've said in these posts and if they don't change then leave them at it.