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Are once off mistakes forgivable?

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    #32
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,773 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Mod Note
    ASISEEIT, Personal Issues is an advice forum where we ask posters to only post offering advice to the OP. Your posts are veering in to general discussion territory. There are many other forums here on Boards.ie for discussion. I'd also remind other posters to not get drawn into conversation and to focus on advising the OP.

    Thanks,
    BBoC


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    #33
    morphman
    Registered Users Posts: 96 ✭✭morphman


    The way it is with me is can I trust again......... and the answer is I don't know. Am I to live a life where I wonder where she is all the time. I have already decided that I won't and so I have to try and contain my emotions. The truth always comes out regardless, I can now spot the lies a mile away.


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    #34
    vg88
    Registered Users Posts: 466 ✭✭vg88


    To update: I found out today that they are forgivable, but it ended the relationship. Things like this don't happen for no reason.

    But a positive note is that a good friendship is still there and that I'm happy about that.


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    #35
    Pohappiness
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭Pohappiness


    moloner4 wrote: »
    <Snip> Do not quote the entire post. Especially when it's immediately preceding your reply


    Very dignified response man. Onwards and upwards and I hope happiness finds you as it should and will. Good luck


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    #36
    ASISEEIT
    Registered Users Posts: 155 ✭✭ASISEEIT


    Arrival wrote: »
    Have you cheated before or something?

    No. But we have all done things but as has been pointed out to me this thread is on cheating and I should stick to it.


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    #37
    banoffe2
    Registered Users Posts: 421 ✭✭banoffe2


    Well done OP the very best of luck to you, the healing process will take time, but real love begins with self


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    #38
    vg88
    Registered Users Posts: 466 ✭✭vg88


    Thought I'd give this an update.

    Tried to stay as friends, but it just wasn't to be. After agreeing to be friends I tried to keep up the friendship strongly, but I got a half arsed attempted on her behalf. My depression reared an ugly head again after a month (mostly likely because of what she did, but who knows) and I asked to see if she could be a friendly voice that I would need. I got told to seek medical help and for me that was to say she had no interest anymore. After that she sent some online message for it to start getting nasty. I knew where it was going and I couldn't bring myself to say horrible things to someone I dated 3 years.

    I thought the best course of action, unfortunately, was to break all connections and block her out of my life by just saying goodbye. It broke me in half doing so, but it had to be done.

    To answer the question as asked in my op, forgivable but not forgettable.


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    #39
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    moloner4 wrote: »
    Thought I'd give this an update.

    Tried to stay as friends, but it just wasn't to be. After agreeing to be friends I tried to keep up the friendship strongly, but I got a half arsed attempted on her behalf. My depression reared an ugly head again after a month (mostly likely because of what she did, but who knows) and I asked to see if she could be a friendly voice that I would need. I got told to seek medical help and for me that was to say she had no interest anymore. After that she sent some online message for it to start getting nasty. I knew where it was going and I couldn't bring myself to say horrible things to someone I dated 3 years.

    I thought the best course of action, unfortunately, was to break all connections and block her out of my life by just saying goodbye. It broke me in half doing so, but it had to be done.

    To answer the question as asked in my op, forgivable but not forgettable.

    Your ex is a bitch. Leave her to rot.


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    #40
    Exclamation Marc
    Registered Users Posts: 11,298 ✭✭✭✭Exclamation Marc


    Sorry to hear that it didn't work out OP.

    It might not be much to hold on to but having the knowledge that you gave friendship a try and put as much effort in as you could will act as closure for you.

    You'll never wonder 'what if' on that front and that's pretty valuable. You also took the high road and fair play to you as a lot of people would have been sucked in to that.

    It's a lesson learned, a horrible one, but one that'll give you perspective if it ever happens again or she ever comes crawling back.

    Best of luck. Things will get better for you.


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    #41
    Arrival
    Closed Accounts Posts: 779 ✭✭✭Arrival


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    Your ex is a bitch. Leave her to rot.

    So sad how it took 3 years for him to get a chance to see her true colours. It's horrible how sometimes people seem to just change overnight and become disgusting ***** that we'd never associate with, I wish people came with warnings


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    #42
    heretothere
    Registered Users Posts: 616 ✭✭✭heretothere


    Better off without her!


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    #43
    wiggle16
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    I just wanted to say that you sound like a very thoughtful, sensitive and decent person, OP. She didn't deserve you, and she's proven that now beyond a doubt.

    I hope things improve for you soon. Mind yourself.

    x


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    #44
    robarmstrong
    Registered Users Posts: 1,598 ✭✭✭robarmstrong


    moloner4 wrote: »
    Thought I'd give this an update.

    Tried to stay as friends, but it just wasn't to be. After agreeing to be friends I tried to keep up the friendship strongly, but I got a half arsed attempted on her behalf. My depression reared an ugly head again after a month (mostly likely because of what she did, but who knows) and I asked to see if she could be a friendly voice that I would need. I got told to seek medical help and for me that was to say she had no interest anymore. After that she sent some online message for it to start getting nasty. I knew where it was going and I couldn't bring myself to say horrible things to someone I dated 3 years.

    I thought the best course of action, unfortunately, was to break all connections and block her out of my life by just saying goodbye. It broke me in half doing so, but it had to be done.

    To answer the question as asked in my op, forgivable but not forgettable.

    Clearly didn't deserve you mate, she never made a mistake, she made a choice.

    You did the right thing, I know it hurts like hell right now, but in time it'll heal.

    And hey, be proud of yourself man, a lot of people stay in the situation instead of getting out of it and that's exactly what you did, it takes a lot of strength and courage to move on after something like that no matter what other people say or try to downplay it.

    Keep your chin up dude.


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    #45
    ASISEEIT
    Registered Users Posts: 155 ✭✭ASISEEIT


    Yes its forgivable. I have a friend who did the same to his then girlfriend. They separated for a bit-which might not be a bad idea for you. Got back together and married. Have two kids


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    #46
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The OP is right to see it as not forgivable. He is the person in the situation, therefore his reaction is right.


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