Riddled with Regret

sunnyday1234

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

You are catastrophizing. You need to sit down and think about the situation logically. Play through the worst case scenario in your head and ask your self what is really so bad about it. Even if you never see another pay rise again, why is this the end of the world. It doesn't sound like you are struggling financially so is this really a big deal. Keeping i mind that this outcome is very unlikely. Odds are you'll get some more experience and either a promotion will open up where you are or another opportunity will come along that offers more money. But in the very unlikely event that the worst does happen and your pay stays the same, then why is that such a big deal?

You've said yourself that another job will eventually open up at company A, so just bide your time and apply for them when they do open up. This whole thing is likely just a temporary set back.

If your current counsellor doesn't practice CBT I would highly recommend seeking out another counsellor or psychologist that does. You need to work on your coping skills and CBT is a fantastic tool for that.

Well i went to a pyschologist twice and she does CBT but i havent gone since as its very expensive. I went to a counsellor last night and he practises various differnent kinds of techniques or which CBT plays a part. Any advice on which one i should continue with ? The counsellor said CBT is great for coping but not finding the root of the issue and just mentioned that he doesnt think GP's should only talk about CBT. Whereas the counsellor is very focused on CBT

So should i just try and learn how to cope using CBT or use a counsellor to find the root cause

THis is another issue for me in the sense that i dont know who to stick with seeing for help...

Tiddlypeeps

sunnyday1234 wrote: »

Well i went to a pyschologist twice and she does CBT but i havent gone since as its very expensive. I went to a counsellor last night and he practises various differnent kinds of techniques or which CBT plays a part. Any advice on which one i should continue with ? The counsellor said CBT is great for coping but not finding the root of the issue and just mentioned that he doesnt think GP's should only talk about CBT. Whereas the counsellor is very focused on CBT

So should i just try and learn how to cope using CBT or use a counsellor to find the root cause

THis is another issue for me in the sense that i dont know who to stick with seeing for help...

IMO counsellors are great if what you need is someone to listen to you vent. If you need more than that then I feel it's worth engaging with a psychologist. Based on what you've said I think a psychologist could offer you more, but thats just my opinion based on whats been said in this thread. They are more expensive for a reason, a lot more education is required to become one, which generally makes them better equipped to deal with serious issues.

Saying that, getting on with the person is the most important thing. A counsellor you get on with is much more valuable than psychologist you don't get on with.

Your counsellor is mistaken in their understanding of CBT. It should involve both finding the root of why you think a certain way and working on changing those thought processes. Often finding out why you think a certain way can be a very helpful step in changing the thought process.

sunnyday1234

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

IMO counsellors are great if what you need is someone to listen to you vent. If you need more than that then I feel it's worth engaging with a psychologist. Based on what you've said I think a psychologist could offer you more, but thats just my opinion based on whats been said in this thread. They are more expensive for a reason, a lot more education is required to become one, which generally makes them better equipped to deal with serious issues.

Saying that, getting on with the person is the most important thing. A counsellor you get on with is much more valuable than psychologist you don't get on with.

Your counsellor is mistaken in their understanding of CBT. It should involve both finding the root of why you think a certain way and working on changing those thought processes. Often finding out why you think a certain way can be a very helpful step in changing the thought process.

ok thanks. I think i will go back to the pyschologist so.

Ursus Horribilis

Here's a thought. Go get yourself a new GP. Someone who is medically trained and is capable of diagnosing you when you're sitting in front of them in their office. It is utter madness that you are relying on a bunch of unqualified random strangers on the internet for advice about this. It makes no sense that you're asking people on this thread whether you should be going to a counselor or a psychotherapist or a psychologist or whoever. IT'S A GP YOU SHOULD BE TALKING TO. NOT US

pwurple

sunnyday1234 wrote: »

yes im afraid that i do. I was crying on the way into work again this morning and at the desk.

You are unwell. Seek medical help.

Malayalam

Yes, the more I hear the more I think something else is going on with you - your reaction to a couple of hasty decisions is over the top. Unless it is that you consider your job the biggest defining characteristic of your being - in that case this might be presenting to your subconscious as an existential threat, an actual threat to your continued existence ie life-threatening. It's not. You are experiencing faulty thinking. Ok, maybe counsellors of various stripes can help but actually it's basically down to you getting some serious understanding of how your mind works. I had a cool job at one stage and then I got sick, very sick, and could not work at all for many years. Even since recovery I have not managed to get back to that level of work or income. So fcuking what. One learns not to be defined by something as paltry as a job or even a career. Sometimes the mind needs a good kick to cop on. A visit to the children's ward in a hospital might jolt you. Thinking your life is voluntary or not voluntary is a bit metaphysical to explore here, but let go on the reins a bit until you feel more balanced. The actual circumstances you describe are not a huge deal - something else is going on with you. Expand your mind.

dellas1979

sunnyday1234 wrote: »

What you say makes sense but thats where i am struggling. I cannot see sense on a daily basis. I found out today that the pay rises are almost nil in this company and there really is no room for career growth so this set off a whole new negative reaction

Compare that with Company A and i got a 4% rise last year and there were plenty of internal opportunities to move around.

All this just makes me regret everything even more and feel that there is no way out of this mess. Where i am now is ok, team are very nice, place is only ok and the work is ok but EVERYTHING was better in Company A

My wife wants me to start an anti depressant tonight so will be doing that . Hopefully it will help. I just cant see its an overreaction if my career is finished over it. What if i can never get another job ? What if my pay never goes up again ? What if staying in this job takes me down a skills road that doesnt suit me or that i dont want to be in....

All I can say to this is, oh ffs.

You havent hindered one bit of advice. Its not everything around you that needs to change, its your mind set!

Take a positive step and write down some positive things! Create new pathways in your brain. Youre not even trying.

sunnyday1234

I started back on the anti depressant last night and couldnt drag myself out of bed this morning. I know they can make you feel worse before better but i feel totally awful

sunnyday1234

Malayalam wrote: »

Yes, the more I hear the more I think something else is going on with you - your reaction to a couple of hasty decisions is over the top. Unless it is that you consider your job the biggest defining characteristic of your being - in that case this might be presenting to your subconscious as an existential threat, an actual threat to your continued existence ie life-threatening. It's not. You are experiencing faulty thinking. Ok, maybe counsellors of various stripes can help but actually it's basically down to you getting some serious understanding of how your mind works. I had a cool job at one stage and then I got sick, very sick, and could not work at all for many years. Even since recovery I have not managed to get back to that level of work or income. So fcuking what. One learns not to be defined by something as paltry as a job or even a career. Sometimes the mind needs a good kick to cop on. A visit to the children's ward in a hospital might jolt you. Thinking your life is voluntary or not voluntary is a bit metaphysical to explore here, but let go on the reins a bit until you feel more balanced. The actual circumstances you describe are not a huge deal - something else is going on with you. Expand your mind.

Thanks for this. I often think that if something serious actually happened to me then it might actually jolt me out of it. Thats a strange way of thinking i know

How can i expand my mind ?

Ursus Horribilis

sunnyday1234 wrote: »

I started back on the anti depressant last night and couldnt drag myself out of bed this morning. I know they can make you feel worse before better but i feel totally awful

Go see a GP. Those antidepressants are the leftovers from last time you were prescribed them, aren't they?

GingerLily

sunnyday1234 wrote: »

I started back on the anti depressant last night and couldnt drag myself out of bed this morning. I know they can make you feel worse before better but i feel totally awful

You NEED to be more patient - all of your problems right now are because you keep jumping and making decisions in haste, follow through on your decisions.

Ursus Horribilis

Antidepressants take time to work. Either the last doctor to prescribed them didn't explain this. Or you didn't listen. - this is more likely.

Go see a GP and work with them to find the right solution. There are different types of medications out there and it can take time to find the right one. You are extremely foolish if you've just pulled the leftovers from the last prescription out of a drawer and started taking those. You should be taking this medication under medical supervision. You're not a doctor and neither is any of us. You wouldn't ask someone here to wire your house or do the plumbing. So why do you think we know more than a doctor?

sunnyday1234

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Antidepressants take time to work. Either the last doctor to prescribed them didn't explain this. Or you didn't listen. - this is more likely.

Go see a GP and work with them to find the right solution. There are different types of medications out there and it can take time to find the right one. You are extremely foolish if you've just pulled the leftovers from the last prescription out of a drawer and started taking those. You should be taking this medication under medical supervision. You're not a doctor and neither is any of us. You wouldn't ask someone here to wire your house or do the plumbing. So why do you think we know more than a doctor?

No of course not but they are only a few weeks old so they are not expired. She did mention alright that it takes time to start working , i gave them a week the last time and stopped. I didnt have any withdrawl

Why would it not be the case of just starting them up again ?

Neyite

Mod:

I'm locking this as it's descended into discussion of taking /withdrawing of unprescribed prescription medication. This is far into the realms of medical advice.

Go see a GP. The are the only ones who can safely discuss your medications with you.