forgive and forget?

Maryg3

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Your right there are just some very horrible people out there I suppose!
I'm glad iv come across someone who knows what it feels like though and any queries I had about going to her house it's definitely not going to happen now. After sharing this with all of you I now know that you just can't please everyone and you can't help if people don't like you but i will remain as far from her as possible and after this at least I don't have to feel guilty about not wanting to have anything 2 do with her!! Thanks again

kylith

I think I'd have a terrible attack of gastroenteritis that night, or suddenly remember a prior commitment that I couldn't get out of.

Kalimah

I have a sister in law who has never addressed me directly in 30 plus years. I had no falling out with her - I think she just took a dislike to me for some unknown reason. My mother in law told me I'd have to try harder with her! Complete waste of time. I don't even bother to say hello to her when I see her, which thankfully is very rarely. The last wedding we were at she ended up sitting between my husband and her husband. Being brothers they were chatting across her. She sat with a face of stone looking straight ahead. Unbelievable rude behaviour. What I would have given to have pulled her around by the hair and tell her what I thought of her. Problem with that would have been that I would have been seen as the nutcase.

Anyway that's my story - I'd not go to the dinner myself if I was you. Just get your husband to say you've something else on. Why create grief for yourself. Put her out of your head - that's what I do with my SIL.

peckerhead

Tbh it's your husband I'm beginning to feel sorriest for. SIL sounds like two ends of a bïtch, but I have to say, OP, you seem really determined to hold onto your grievances here.

My wife and my sister were like this from the day they set eyes on each other, thirty-something years ago. Absolute nightmare.

Maryg3

peckerhead wrote: »

Tbh it's your husband I'm beginning to feel sorriest for. SIL sounds like two ends of a bïtch, but I have to say, OP, you seem really determined to hold onto your grievances here.

My wife and my sister were like this from the day they set eyes on each other, thirty-something years ago. Absolute nightmare.

I understand what your saying, though I didn't want to come off sounding like I was holding on to anything however there are just some things you can't forget happened! And there has being so much things that have happened over the past few years that building bridges is nearly impossible at this stage!

Have you ever confronted your sister over the years to find out what her problem was??
MY husband has confronted his several times over the years and she has stated there is no issue!

Regardless of the situation between me and her I wouldn't stop my husband having a relationship with her or his nieces, but I do think the best option for me is to just keep away from her completely!

peckerhead

Maryg3 wrote: »

Have you ever confronted your sister over the years to find out what her problem was??
MY husband has confronted his several times over the years and she has stated there is no issue!

Yup, either of them when asked goes all wide-eyed and don't-know-what-you-mean-I'm-very-fond-of-her... :rolleyes:

I'd agree with giving it a miss (tell the husband to work away without you; it's really not a big deal). Life's too short to be wasting it on people you don't like and owe nothing to.

Payton

For your own sanity you need to put a line in the sand for any other 'family function'. Nobody has the right to disrespect anyone else family or not, that said..your SIL is never going to change she seems to like drama and having the 'i told you so' attitude.
Your husband is well aware of her behaviour and fully supports you so be the bigger person and don't go to the gathering...damed if you do and damed if you don't.

justfillmein

I don't sit in the company of people I don't like. extended family or immediate family. I have no obligation to anyone.

Maryg3

Hi all I haven't being on this properly since I asked the question and I would just like to let you all know that I ended up going to the dinner! I decided to be the bigger person about it!! I completely put her to the back of my mind and decided I would not give her the satisfaction of making myself uncomfortable in her presence no matter where I was.
The dinner started off fine that said we did not speak to each other much I gave her just polite yes and no answers, however, when the dinner ended she started her sh*t making smart comments and kept trying to contradict and belittle things I was saying to other family members. My husband was starting to get mad and said we should go but I told him to keep his cool and I would deal with it!! For the first time I stood up to myself properly, I waited till every one was together and and she had made her last insulting comment towards me in front of everyone and I said thanks for the dinner it was just about exceptional but I'm going to go home now because although I have tried to be very civil towards you I find that your behaviour towards me is inappropriate and always has being so you all excuse me if I don't come to another event like this but I'm sure you will understand!! And I walked out. A lot of faces were shocked but I was even more shocked all followed us and said fair play to me for doing that, that she had no reason for what she did. Needless to say no one is by any means impressed with her behaviour and at least I never have to deal with her again thank god!!!