What age were you when you learnt about birth control?

freshpopcorn

I heard a little bit of the news earlier and there was a woman(sounded young) from the UCC feminists society talking about them wanting to introduce mandatory consent classes for first years. I was like yes fair enough but most people I knew back then had a fair idea what consent was.
However she then went onto say she went to a catholic secondary school and she left not knowing what a condom or the pill was. I knew from an early age about condoms were to do with sex but I had a fair idea before we did sex education at the end of primary school. We also briefly covered it in secondary school.
Have schools stopped teaching this stuff?
Would it be possible you'd get to the age of eighteen and not know what a condom was?

DEFTLEFTHAND

She's lying.

pjohnson

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I heard a little bit of the news earlier and there was a woman(sounded young) from the UCC feminists society talking about them wanting to introduce mandatory consent classes for first years. I was like yes fair enough but most people I knew back then had a fair idea what consent was.
However she then went onto say she went to a catholic secondary school and she left not knowing what a condom or the pill was. I knew from an early age about condoms were to do with sex but I had a fair idea before we did sex education at the end of primary school. We also briefly covered it in secondary school.
Have schools stopped teaching this stuff?
Would it be possible you'd get to the age of eighteen and not know what a condom was?

Unless you are Amish I highly doubt it.

January

She may not be lying. Catholic ethos schools teach abstinence, they don't give info about contraceptives.

Noveight

freshpopcorn wrote: »

However she then went onto say she went to a catholic secondary school and she left not knowing what a condom or the pill was.

I'd call bullshít on that. Sounds like she's constructing her own experience so it'll help strengthen her argument.

If a girl gets to 18 without knowing about condoms or the pill then it's her parents that need to up their game, not necessarily their school.

Franz Von Peppercorn

January wrote: »

She may not be lying. Catholic ethos schools teach abstinence, they don't give info about contraceptives.

I’m pretty sure that they do mention condons as part of any sex education classes. Certainly did in my day.

eviltwin

Noveight wrote: »

I'd call bullshít on that. Sounds like she's constructing her own experience so it'll help strengthen her argument.

If a girl gets to 18 without knowing about condoms or the pill then it's her parents that need to up their game, not necessarily their school.

Why should a child be left vulnerable because they have **** parents.

Every child should have access to sexual education in school from primary level.

freshpopcorn

My mother just heard her on the news now and said she really must have being living in a cupboard!

45, after my 10th kid

boardsuser1

Didn’t know until I was 15.

Never used it though.

sbsquarepants

I'm sure it's possible it was never mentioned in her school, but it's not like that's the only place you could ever learn anything.
I'd find it totally implausible that in this day and age anyone could reach 18 having never heard of the pill or condoms, from a friend, the telly, on the internet - somewhere!

MagicIRL

Had a sex ed thing in 6th class. That was the first formal introduction. Catholic school, too.

Had another sex thing in 4th or 5th year in secondary school.

Tbh it should be a core part of SPHE in school - along with Mental Health, Healthy Eating, basic exercise, financial planning/budgeting and road theory.

vicwatson

“Mandatory”? You can ban that straight away

Odelay

January wrote: »

She may not be lying. Catholic ethos schools teach abstinence, they don't give info about contraceptives.

Both you and ye wan on the radio must be fair old because catholic schools were teaching contraception 25 years ago. They didn't like doing it but they had to do it.

jimgoose

She's full of crap. I'm 46, and by the time I was doing the Inter-Cert I knew bloody well what condoms and the contraceptive pill were.

wakka12

I went to a strongly catholic irish speaking primary school and was taught at 12 the basics and most important things a 12 year old needs to know about sex education,
I also went to a religious secondary school and we had many informative and thorough sex ed classes.I don't see how yer wan could have not been taught throughout all of primary and secondary school.
SPHE is taught in majority of schools I assume? Until LC? Sex ed is a major component of the course

January

Odelay wrote: »

Both you and ye wan on the radio must be fair old because catholic schools were teaching contraception 25 years ago. They didn't like doing it but they had to do it.

I'm 30. I went to an all-girls convent school. I can honestly say I cannot remember learning about contraception from the teachers there, then again they were the type to bring in Youth Defence and their little teeny tiny fetus foot badges.

I did learn about contraception when I was about 12-13 though, from my parents.

Grayson

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I heard a little bit of the news earlier and there was a woman(sounded young) from the UCC feminists society talking about them wanting to introduce mandatory consent classes for first years. I was like yes fair enough but most people I knew back then had a fair idea what consent was.
However she then went onto say she went to a catholic secondary school and she left not knowing what a condom or the pill was. I knew from an early age about condoms were to do with sex but I had a fair idea before we did sex education at the end of primary school. We also briefly covered it in secondary school.
Have schools stopped teaching this stuff?
Would it be possible you'd get to the age of eighteen and not know what a condom was?

My mother was a midwife so I was taught those things. Besides that there was late night channel 4.
In school there was absolutely nothing at all. We had "retreats" where we were told about how god was part of a relationship. We were told that contraception was against God's law (the same as homosexuality) and that sex should not occur outside marriage. Consent never came into it since it was assumed we wouldn't be having sex until we got married at which point it would become irrelevant.

We should have clases in sex education, consent etc. Don't assume that everyone is on the same page or gets the same education from their parents or school.

I think in one of the nordic countries they start at a very early age using hugging as an example of consent. There's no reason why we couldn't have something similar here. Age appropriate classes one sex, relationships and sexual health.

Editing to add: I went to an all boys school. I'm pretty certain next to none of the guys I went to school knew anything about women's reproductive health. I think the majority of what we knew came from tampon adverts.

eviltwin

I'm 40 and went to Catholic school. I had two lectures in 3rd year where we learned about periods and pregnancy. No mention of contraception, std's or consent. My daughter, who is 21, also went to a Catholic school and had a similar talk. Sex education should be about more than how babies are made.

Bredabe

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I'm sure it's possible it was never mentioned in her school, but it's not like that's the only place you could ever learn anything.
I'd find it totally implausible that in this day and age anyone could reach 18 having never heard of the pill or condoms, from a friend, the telly, on the internet - somewhere!

When I was in school there wouldn't have been any mention of "artificial means of contraception". When I went to a new school a teacher who was returning from maternity leave was tricked into explaining the "rhythm method" to us in LC, there were ructions.
But those were the days when girls with genuine cycle issues were refused the pill(standard treatments) as there "could not be so many women having cycle issues"(usual excuse for asking dr for the pill for contraception)

As for being 18 and not knowing what a condom was, I recently had a 21-year-old sexually active young woman ask me which "area" was her Virgina. Others in my experience don't look things up on the internet, they seem to get lost in the toddlers and tiaras section, I think they assume a "grown-up" will sort it out for them. As for the ones who haven't hear of EC or think once they use a condom or pill they are 100% safe. Don't get me started on "I didn't read the instructions on my pill" or "I didn't know antibiotics can interfere with the pill"!!!!

I have come to the conclusion that someone/thing is keeping this info from the most vulnerable/uninformed.

Will I Am Not

I often wonder if I’m living in the same Ireland as everyone else.

freshpopcorn

Grayson wrote: »

My mother was a midwife so I was taught those things. Besides that there was late night channel 4.
In school there was absolutely nothing at all. We had "retreats" where we were told about how god was part of a relationship. We were told that contraception was against God's law (the same as homosexuality) and that sex should not occur outside marriage. Consent never came into it since it was assumed we wouldn't be having sex until we got married at which point it would become irrelevant.

We should have clases in sex education, consent etc. Don't assume that everyone is on the same page or gets the same education from their parents or school.

I think in one of the nordic countries they start at a very early age using hugging as an example of consent. There's no reason why we couldn't have something similar here. Age appropriate classes one sex, relationships and sexual health.

Editing to add: I went to an all boys school. I'm pretty certain next to none of the guys I went to school knew anything about women's reproductive health. I think the majority of what we knew came from tampon adverts.

Just out of interest what age are you?
Most people I know in there twenties/thirties had some form of sex education.
One guy I went to school with denies we ever did it tough or that we did SPHE!

Malari

eviltwin wrote: »

I'm 40 and went to Catholic school. I had two lectures in 3rd year where we learned about periods and pregnancy. No mention of contraception, std's or consent. My daughter, who is 21, also went to a Catholic school and had a similar talk. Sex education should be about more than how babies are made.

Similar here, although there's no way I wouldn't have left school without knowing about sex and contraception. I don't remember how exactly I picked things up but if it was virtually unavoidable back then, it certainly is impossible to believe now that an 18 year old wouldn't be educated on that kind of thing.

I do remember the GP suggesting the pill when I was a very young teen for acne, and my mom thinking it wasn't suitable. I remember thinking "THE pill"...what pill? She explained it to me. :pac:

The Backwards Man

We knew in primary school you had to go to the barber to get something done about it. What exactly that entailed was the subject of manys a terrifying walk home from school.

Grayson

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Just out of interest what age are you?
Most people I know in there twenties/thirties had some form of sex education.
One guy I went to school with denies we ever did it tough or that we did SPHE!

I left school in the mid 90's. I also went to what may be the most catholic school in the country. My sister went to a convent school and she got some sex ed, we got none.

We had a three hour retreat one night that ran from 6-9. It involved a married couple, who were incredibly religious, telling us about how relationships are sacred and we need to maintain a place for god in the relationship.

In another retreat we had a catholic priest tell us that if we had problems or issues with people of the opposite sex, people of our own sex, or with animals we could tell him in confession. I burst out laughing when he said that because i didn't think he was allowed mention sex with animals in front of 15 year olds. (I just googled that priest to see if he'd ever done anything dodgy and can't find a single reference to him).

but to get back to the OP's post. Yep, we need standardised classes in consent, sexuality, sexual health, the works.

freshpopcorn

Grayson wrote: »

I left school in the mid 90's. I also went to what may be the most catholic school in the country. My sister went to a convent school and she got some sex ed, we got none.

We had a three hour retreat one night that ran from 6-9. It involved a married couple, who were incredibly religious, telling us about how relationships are sacred and we need to maintain a place for god in the relationship.

In another retreat we had a catholic priest tell us that if we had problems or issues with people of the opposite sex, people of our own sex, or with animals we could tell him in confession. I burst out laughing when he said that because i didn't think he was allowed mention sex with animals in front of 15 year olds. (I just googled that priest to see if he'd ever done anything dodgy and can't find a single reference to him).

but to get back to the OP's post. Yep, we need standardised classes in consent, sexuality, sexual health, the works.

She also said that she didn't receive any basic sex education in this day and age. Which isn't true in my opinion. Saying stuff like this doesn't do her any favors in my opinion!

Triceratops Ballet

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I heard a little bit of the news earlier and there was a woman(sounded young) from the UCC feminists society talking about them wanting to introduce mandatory consent classes for first years. I was like yes fair enough but most people I knew back then had a fair idea what consent was.
However she then went onto say she went to a catholic secondary school and she left not knowing what a condom or the pill was. I knew from an early age about condoms were to do with sex but I had a fair idea before we did sex education at the end of primary school. We also briefly covered it in secondary school.
Have schools stopped teaching this stuff?
Would it be possible you'd get to the age of eighteen and not know what a condom was?

What we were taught was limited enough, I learned what condoms and the pill were from my mother.
We had an hour of sex ed in 6th class, which actually focused mostly on periods because we were all at that age, and a little on the basics of sex, but I remember not fully comprehending how it worked until we learned the reproductive system in biology in secondary school, and that was purely on a science basis, so there was no condom talk then.
I remember being made to watch an ultrasound of an abortion in 3rd or 4th year too and having the abstinence brigade to come in and do the most condescending "interactive" lecture on abstinence on 5th year.
I don't recall being educated about condoms or their use or even about STI's in school in a specific class.

I was of the impression that things had improved though, but I would support the idea that sex ed should become a structured course, that prepares all young people fully for what to expect, good and bad, consent included

topper75

January wrote: »

She may not be lying. Catholic ethos schools teach abstinence, they don't give info about contraceptives.

These schools don't promote them and don't condone their use.

Quite different to pretending that they don't exist.

So yes, she is lying.

Source - first hand. Went to a Catholic school.

Triceratops Ballet

topper75 wrote: »

These schools don't promote them and don't condone their use.

Quite different to pretending that they don't exist.

So yes, she is lying.

Source - first hand. Went to a Catholic school.

TBF there's a fair whack of us who went to catholic school, and because there is no sex ed syllabus, it's impossible to know she's definitely lying (unless of course you went to school with her and witnessed her being told)

BattleCorp

Triceratops Ballet wrote: »

TBF there's a fair whack of us who went to catholic school, and because there is no sex ed syllabus, it's impossible to know she's definitely lying (unless of course you went to school with her and witnessed her being told)

Just because she mightn't have learned that stuff in school doesn't mean that she didn't hear of that stuff elsewhere.

Did she go home and hide under a rock after school? Did she never talk to her friends and parents about this kind of stuff?

I started to learn about this kind of stuff when I was 8 from other kids my own age. Fair enough, a lot of stuff we thought we knew wasn't 100% accurate, but we weren't dummies either.

I find it very hard to believe that she didn't hear about condoms etc. before she was 18.

By the way, there's something seriously wrong with society if we need to send people to 'consent classes'. Is there no 'personal responsibility' any more? Do people seriously not know right from wrong? I can see the excuse being rolled out in the near future "It's not my fault I raped her, I didn't have a consent class". Bullsh1t.

kylith

My Catholic secondary school didn't even teach us names for body parts. We were told to wash our 'front bottoms'.

I had to check with my mum if 'front bottom' meant vagina cos I had no idea what the teacher was on about. Front bottom, ffs.

Peatys

6th class. So about 12.. 1990.

Grayson

kylith wrote: »

My Catholic secondary school didn't even teach us names for body parts. We were told to wash our 'front bottoms'.

I had to check with my mum if 'front bottom' meant vagina cos I had no idea what the teacher was on about. Front bottom, ffs.

That's sllly. It's littlebottom and big bottom ;P

Skedaddle

That's one of the things that I find a bit of a problem in Ireland, we all assume that school / education was exactly how ours was.

In my case, I had pretty progressive parents and teachers over the years and I don't ever remember not knowing these things, but it doesn't mean that's the same experience that everyone else had.

We actually have a very, very variable school system because all the schools are effectively privately owned, state funded organisations. The individual experiences vary enormously, at least from what I've heard.

farmerwifelet

went to catholic school crap sex ed, very religious parents so nothing from them but i had a tv and friends and I went on the pill at 17. Sometimes you have to learn things for yourself.Can't go blaming everyone else - how with google, internet, books, tv etc can people not figure out contraception? if you read the booklet you get with the pill it tells you how it works! (and doesn't in the case of antibiotics!)
I think girls are doing themselves a disservice by wanting to be spoonfed information on sex and birth control. Take control and find out for yourself. If you are a parent sit your teenager down and give them a decent book on it. Boys included.

seamus

I genuinely don't remember the moment I heard about it, though I was probably aware that condoms existed from around the same time I learned about the basic mechanics of ejaculation = pregnancy and so forth.

Certainly wasn't from school though. We had sex education, but I don't recall any specific discussion on the use of condoms. I don't think I ever saw a real condom until I went and bought my own at 16 (bless my optimism).

Sex education in 6th class consisted of a discussion on bodies changing and hair growing out of places it didn't seem like it was supposed to.

Then there was junior cert biology. And then in 4th year an afternoon of slides showing pictures of diseased penises and vaginas and reasons why you should avoid just lashing your mickey anywhere. Any talk of condoms in that regard would have been more hand-waving, "Don't do this, but if you do you should wear a bag". The bulk of the talk was trying to scare us into keeping it in our trousers and wait until we were married.

Peatys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxgXWHo9jvI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUMTOTa7J00

Triceratops Ballet

BattleCorp wrote: »

By the way, there's something seriously wrong with society if we need to send people to 'consent classes'. Is there no 'personal responsibility' any more? Do people seriously not know right from wrong? I can see the excuse being rolled out in the near future "It's not my fault I raped her, I didn't have a consent class". Bullsh1t.

what is wrong with teaching kids how to say no assertively, if they don't want to proceed with sex, or to say yes if they do. What's wrong with teaching kids to recognise when someone is consenting v's not consenting.
I think a lot of schools teach sex ed as the functional parts of it and maybe how to not get a disease, or pregnant. When it should be a real conversation

I would've been about 10 or 11, then we were told a bit more at 12.

I never really got the "lack of education" thing tbh. It was generally the people who told pre-pubescent me about sex and contraception at younger ages who ended up pregnant or an expectant father for the Junior Cert. :P

RDM_83 again

Will I Am Not wrote: »

I often wonder if I’m living in the same Ireland as everyone else.

It's remarkable how all the people below 40 who didn't get taught anything at all about birth control at all are all strongly vocally pro-choice atheists that don't like the CC, must just be one of these random coincidences that happen.

Will I Am Not

RDM_83 again wrote: »

It's remarkable how all the people below 40 who didn't get taught anything at all about birth control at all are all strongly vocally pro-choice atheists that don't like the CC, must just be one of these random coincidences that happen.

Either that or they are making it up to help their cause. Must be the coincidence thing.

freshpopcorn

Triceratops Ballet wrote: »

what is wrong with teaching kids how to say no assertively, if they don't want to proceed with sex, or to say yes if they do. What's wrong with teaching kids to recognise when someone is consenting v's not consenting.
I think a lot of schools teach sex ed as the functional parts of it and maybe how to not get a disease, or pregnant. When it should be a real conversation

Most people I know knows you don't have sex when the person is out of it or if they say no or if they want to stop.

Triceratops Ballet

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Most people I know knows you don't have sex when the person is out of it or if they say no or if they want to stop.

good for them!

Why is it a bad idea to teach kids to be assertive about their own sexuality?

An tUasal C

Currently in fifth year and with regards school, nothing to do with sex was remotely touched on in primary and we had to learn a form of contraception for junior cert science which was ‘a condom is used to prevent the sperm cell from fertilising the egg cell’.

Definitely not enough being done in most schools and nothing being done during the course of my education.

freshpopcorn

Triceratops Ballet wrote: »

good for them!

Why is it a bad idea to teach kids to be assertive about their own sexuality?

Nothing bad but I think they way people are trying to sell it at the moment is bad and when people hear about them they just roll their eyes!

Triceratops Ballet

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Nothing bad but I think they way people are trying to sell it at the moment is bad and when people hear about them they just roll their eyes!

I'm talking about touching on consent as part of a fully rounded conversation with young people about sex and sexuality. Rather than the current system, of don't do sex cos you might get pregnant or a disease. I think it's a totally normal part of the discussion.

freshpopcorn

Triceratops Ballet wrote: »

I'm talking about touching on consent as part of a fully rounded conversation with young people about sex and sexuality. Rather than the current system, of don't do sex cos you might get pregnant or a disease. I think it's a totally normal part of the discussion.

I didn't experience the type of sex education that you experienced so we're on different pages!

Hector Bellend

When I started banging the ladies

kylith

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Most people I know knows you don't have sex when the person is out of it or if they say no or if they want to stop.

That's great, but it can be the case that when faced with an initial no some people keep going to try to pester the other person into sex. Some people don't realise that someone going limp and passive is a sign that they don't want to do it but don't know how to say no or fight back.

Any decent person knows that if someone is saying no or trying to fight you off then they don't want to have sex and to force them would be monsterous, but a lot of people cant' spot the subtler signs that someone isn't into it but, for whatever reason, doesn't know how/is afraid to refuse.

There's no harm teaching young people that consent should be enthustastic and freely given.

freshpopcorn

kylith wrote: »

That's great, but it can be the case that when faced with an initial no some people keep going to try to pester the other person into sex. Some people don't realise that someone going limp and passive is a sign that they don't want to do it but don't know how to say no or fight back.

Any decent person knows that if someone is saying no or trying to fight you off then they don't want to have sex and to force them would be monsterous, but a lot of people cant' spot the subtler signs that someone isn't into it but, for whatever reason, doesn't know how/is afraid to refuse.

There's no harm teaching young people that consent should be enthustastic and freely given.

I am not against it being taught but most people I know knows what it is already and know if their pushing somebody into something. So having a few classes on the matter wouldn't have had much of a difference!

Grayson

kylith wrote: »

That's great, but it can be the case that when faced with an initial no some people keep going to try to pester the other person into sex. Some people don't realise that someone going limp and passive is a sign that they don't want to do it but don't know how to say no or fight back.

Any decent person knows that if someone is saying no or trying to fight you off then they don't want to have sex and to force them would be monsterous, but a lot of people cant' spot the subtler signs that someone isn't into it but, for whatever reason, doesn't know how/is afraid to refuse.

There's no harm teaching young people that consent should be enthustastic and freely given.

I'm just reading an article about consent. They say that rather than "no means no" we should be teaching that only an enthusiastic yes should suffice.
That's not a bad idea.