Single mam to be - what financial support can I count on?

_dubli_girl

Hi there...so it happened, I'm pregnant, I'm single very worried and scared of how will I manage from the financial point of view.
I know many people would suggest alternative options rather than counting with he pregnancy but I feel I would regret it and won't forgive myself.
I'm not Irish so also have very limited support around me.
Can someone advise what financial support I can count on from the government? And in general how does it all work?
Thank you

s4uv3

Are you working and do you have residency here? If so, you should be entitled to maternity benefit which is €235 per week unless your employer tops up your pay.
If you're in receipt of social welfare your payment should carry on as normal, but I'd contact your intreo centre for exact clarification.
Citizensadvice.ie is a great resource for info on these sorts of things too.

Spanish Eyes

Wish you well,
Where is the Dad?

_dubli_girl

I'm working, I'm not Irish, but From EU...
Work doesn't top up anything and €235 doesn't sound like much considering rent and eveything...

Spanish_Eyes - unfortunately dad didn't want it...;(

endacl

_dubli_girl wrote: »

Spanish_Eyes - unfortunately dad didn't want it...;(

Too bad. Dad still has to support it.

beechwood55

Can you go back to your own country where you may have more support from family, at least until the baby is born? Would that be an option worth exploring?

_dubli_girl

Going back isn't really an aption..I've been living in Ireland for past 12 years and all my "adult" life was here. I wouldn't even know where to start at home.
And it would mean living with my parents as country's support is little to none.
On top of it where I'm from being girl over 30 and single is not good not to mentioned with baby and no father....

Stheno

Do you have a job?

_dubli_girl

Yes, I work full time but they don't pay anything towards maternity leave

beechwood55

What are your current living arrangements? How much do you pay in rent, bills etc?

_dubli_girl

I'm renting an apartment..My tent is €1300 plus bills (electricity, tv)
I have a car but I can walk to work so it's not really an expens at the moment except insurance and tax

mockingjay

Firstly, congratulations, and don't despair, we spend our lives worrying about things that never happen. There are a number of places you can contact that will provide you with the support and information you need:

Look at www.cura.ie
www.onefamily.ie
www.citizensinformation.ie

and the social welfare guide for lone parents:
http://spunout.ie/life/article/social-welfare-guide-for-lone-parents

Lots of people and helplines that you can talk you, when you have your baby try to join Mothers and Toddlers groups in your area, you'll make friends and hopefully a network around you for the future. Best of luck.

beechwood55

You need to start saving money so that when you go on maternity leave you will have a cushion of savings.
The government is not going to give you any financial support other than statutory maternity pay. When your baby is born you will get monthly child benefit and you may also qualify for Single Parent Child Credit (worth about €1.650 per annum). Y
ou also should give very serious consideration to pursuing the baby's father for financial support. He is obliged to support his child, regardless of the fact that he does not want it.

Edgarfrndly

_dubli_girl wrote: »

Spanish_Eyes - unfortunately dad didn't want it...;(

Dad is obliged by law to provide financial support for your child. Make sure you chase them down. Even if they don't want the child, they will have to pay child support. Make sure you use the full extent of the law to do so.

Also look into child benefit: http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/social_welfare_payments_to_families_and_children/child_benefit.html

_dubli_girl

Thank you for all links and kind words...
it is all so scary because I have no idea what to expect. And it seems that doing the right thing is not always easiest option.

And if dad have to pay child support...it is something I will be looking for as well..

lazygal

mockingjay wrote: »

Look at www.cura.ie
www.onefamily.ie
www.citizensinformation.ie

a

CURA is a catholic service and does not provided non directive support. No one who supports women would recommend it. There are other non biased support services out there. Another one to avoid is Anew.

Soldier

First off I wanted to say congratulations!!

Try not to stress yourself out too much. you can start buying little bits now for example few packets of wipes, nappies each week etc it will help you in the long run and you may have time to get them when they are on offer. Aldi are great for nappies and wipes! Also, done deal and online facebook sites have great prices on second hand buggies, car seats. some people even offer them for free because they just want to get them out of the house.

Defo try Cura and the St Vincent De Paul might also help.

wishing you all the best for the future

tretorn

Aw congrats, this is the best thing that will ever happen to you, it just seems so difficult now but it will all work out.

Definitely pursue the Father for child support and tell your family you need support.

Have you been to your GP yet.

LCD

Sorry I have no practical advice, however just want to wish you all the best & a big congratulations

_dubli_girl

I have to say that all your messages made me feel very emotional... there was not many "congratulations" ...still only closes people to me know but there was not much of a celebrations.
Thank you for all kind and supportive words...

I didn't think of sticking up on things- that's great idea... have to think of what I will need and be getting it when good deals etc.

I still haven't been to my gp... I know it's very bad considering I'm 10,5 weeks but I wanted a decision that I'm sure of...even thought I'm still questioning myself in the light of fear and all negative feelings and things happening. And I wanted to be considered or baby's dad opinion and feelings - when I told him that I don't think I can proceed with the other option this is when things turned bad.
I've had however went to my gynecologist for early scan etc. and gp appointement will be this coming week...just need to get time off from work ... and decide on whether I go to rotunda or holles street.
But I think I can make an appointement with the hospital by just giving them a call, so will try this on Monday so I won't delay it any more.

Bunnyslippers

Congratulations!:D Don't worry there are lots of women going it alone out there, I'm one of them, dad went back to mammy 2 days after baby arrived as he is basically an immature, narcissistic idiot, he spent the rest of the year just visiting for half an hour most days - so I got rid of him!!:D
So I had to go it alone, luckily though my mother and sister are nearby, but I've made a great network of friends through baby groups etc. I found lots of baby stuff on Donedeal, buy and sell Facebook groups, baby markets etc so it is possible to get stuff on a shoestring budget, stock up on nappies/wipes etc now, if you buy a few things each month then there's no panic when you're too big to want to go shopping!

I can't help you with the money side of things, I am from UK so wasn't entitled to maternity pay or any benefits so I had to rely on a credit card to survive plus family. The dad has only just started to pay me 50 euro a week which is a joke really as he's on 40k a year and lives for free with his mother, so am having to take that further - he says I'd have bills anyway and how can a baby eat more than 50 euro worth of food a week - sigh!!!
I'm working at night so I'm home for baby all day, but I'm surviving and have a gorgeous little boy who I'm loving every minute with, I wouldn't change that for the world!!;)

_dubli_girl

Thank you Bunnyslipspdrs for sharing your experience because it's very inspirational.
I think everything lately makes me so emotional but reading your story and everyone else's warm messages makes me shed a tear or two... that so many of you is so supportive to a stranger.

I know people do it on their own I just can imagine it now...it's just almost taking breath awayzzz too hot and too scary.
In the light of this I still question my decision but I hope things will just fall into place. It's just would be nice to have someone to share it with as this is how I always imagined it- be super happy and excited, not cry myself to sleep. But it's too often that life just have different plan for us.

Now I suppose is I have to figure out and make a list of things that I will need but can start gettig... where to even start?!??

andreac

Where are you based? I have some stuff here that I haven't used or that's leftover from my baby I had a few weeks ago. I have unopened items that you can take and then I've loads of other bits I could give you that I don't need.
I'd be more than happy to give you a bag or 2 of stuff that I have that could come in useful for you if you didn't mind taking some off Me?
I drive so can meet you somewhere if you like.
But I won't be offended if you don't want to. Just thought I'd offer it.

andreac

Sorry meant to say I'm just outside Dublin in Meath but can travel dublin/Meath/kildare within reason.

anon322

If you go to any place of employment they will pay you money to work.

Loveinapril

anon322 wrote: »

If you go to any place of employment they will pay you money to work.

Did you even read the thread? The OP has a job.

Orion

anon322 wrote: »

If you go to any place of employment they will pay you money to work.

Totally unhelpful and totally unnecessary. Please read the charter before making any more snarky remarks.

_dubli_girl

andreac wrote: »

Sorry meant to say I'm just outside Dublin in Meath but can travel dublin/Meath/kildare within reason.

Thank you so much for your kindness. That would be lovely. And I would be more ham happy to take if take things you don't need, it doesn't bother me at all. And I don't mind paying for it something either. It will be big help because won't have to buy it for full price.
I live in Dublin but I drive so I'm more than happy to meet you where is convenient for you.

Thank you very much once again... I will send you PM message

catrionanic

Best of luck to you, OP. It’s easy to get caught up in the baby bubble of buying x, y and z, but babies don’t actually need a lot. We live in a really tiny house so we bought as little as we could get away with.

If you’re worried about money, breastfeeding is a big big saving for you. No formula and no bottles to buy, amongst endless other benefits. So I would definitely aim to give it as good a go as possible.

All you really absolutely need for a newborn are:
A car seat (you said you drive)
A pram (you can pick up a stroller which can lie flat and hence is suitable for newborns - no need for expensive travel systems then - and Facebook and donedeal are literally crammed full of good second hand ones)
Nappies, wipes and a few babygrows (you will get a lot of clothes as gifts), and a nappy bag
Somewhere for baby to sleep (and if you breastfeed, this may even end up being your own bed)
A few cellular blankets, cardigans and hats
Something soft to lay the baby down on on the floor - those little play mats are lovely for newborns

And that’s about it, really. We didn’t buy a baby bath, just used the kitchen sink (and still do, at 12 months old now). Other things like high chairs can wait until baby is six months old or so. We also didn’t buy a baby monitor because when he was a newborn, he was almost always in the room with us. And our house is so small that we can hear him wherever he is now.

On another note, if you have no family nearby then I would strongly recommend that you start trying to build a network of a few mummy friends now. All the breastfeeding groups - la leche league, cuidiú, etc - encourage expectant mothers to come along to their meet ups so you could start from there.

Best of luck to you.

_dubli_girl

Thank you catrionanic for practical advises... i didn't realize most of those things and I don't know why I've always had in my head this long list of things, probably by looking at people going through madness of buying things as you've said.
It won't be happening with me... all those things you've mentioned are very practical.
I have never thought of breastfeeding this way... just didn't realize.
And didn't have an idea that there is groups you can join before baby is born... that is very helpful, thank you!

catrionanic

_dubli_girl wrote: »

Thank you catrionanic for practical advises... i didn't realize most of those things and I don't know why I've always had in my head this long list of things, probably by looking at people going through madness of buying things as you've said.
It won't be happening with me... all those things you've mentioned are very practical.
I have never thought of breastfeeding this way... just didn't realize.
And didn't have an idea that there is groups you can join before baby is born... that is very helpful, thank you!

You’re very welcome. I just got an (unexpected) positive pregnancy test myself there, and money is very tight right now. So if you want to chat about anything at all, just send me a message!