Dumped for sexting...

carricklad

I did try to do this. However, all my current friends are mutual friends with her in another city as that's where we did most of our socialising. Add to this that I'm not much of a social drinker/bars/pubs/clubs type person, and with my work situation not helping, have found it difficult. Some suggestions on how to work on this would be great, I don't think I'd achieve much going to a bar alone and trying to start up a conversation...

Ursus Horribilis

Thinking in terms of bars and clubs is confining yourself greatly. What you need to do is find an interest/sport/hobby that'll get out of the house on a regular basis. Something that'll put you in contact with people on a weekly basis. I think most people wouldn't fancy going into bars by themselves and striking up conversations with randomers.

carricklad

Sure, it's a good idea in theory, but hard to implement in practice. I'm actually really bad at sport. I tried joining a five a side group last year, after sucking so bad, got a lot of justified frustration from my team. Also tried softball - turns out that not only can I not hit the ball, I can't throw or catch it to save my life either, and quickly found myself watching from the sidelines as not been picked after first few games showcasing my athletic prowess! I tried a few hobby groups too, and the people there were indeed really friendly, but almost nobody in my age group...

PrincessPoutyP

Do you really want her to hurt every time you pick up your phone? Because that's what will happen, the cheating is linked to your phone, which you use daily and as a result it will be nigh impossible to forget. Long distance is also detrimental to feelings of security in a relationship (all those people that are so happy to tell you how many fail and "when the cat is away..." etc type clichés will be trotted out) and as a result it will be even harder to move past it. You're hurting because it's over but trying to repair it might hurt her more in the long term. It's awful trying to force yourself to trust someone again maybe don't put her through that? I've been cheated on and it ****s up you up inside pretty badly, give her space to heal and if you need to ask if she's willing to hear an apology but do so without any agenda other than know you care that you hurt her and hope she's doing okay. Don't even expect forgiveness because that means you're saying sorry for your sake, not hers.

Just saw there that you've sent a letter and she hasn't responded yet, leave it well alone so until she feels okay responding. She may not even have it untangled yet in her head. If by the end of this month you've heard nothing send a message saying you sent her an apology and you aren't sure it arrived perhaps say you just wanted to make sure you know you're in the wrong and you don't want her to believe you don't care about the consequences your actions had for her.

NearlyForty

Op, I'm on the receiving end of this sexting debacle, I won't go too much into my story now but I just want to say, that it's extremely hurtful and very hard to forgive someone for this. I know you've wrote her a letter & possibly still waiting on a reply but if you do manage to hear from her, you must genuinely be very sorry for this and promise to never do that again. As she will find it very hard to trust you in the future