On Your Death Bed

Garrett81

It’s many years from now and your surrounded by your loved ones, your about to take your last breath and leave this world. If you were given the opportunity to come back and change something/anything in your life what would it be? Why wait until your deathbed can you make that change right now ?

Sue Pa Key Pa

I'd never have started watching Lost

me_irl

#noregrets

*dies*

DaeryssaOne

I'd go back in time and personally pay for a nationwide advertising campaign teaching people the difference between your / you're; lose / loose; though/tough etc. and all other pedantic stupid things that drive me up the walls.

Shenshen

Travel back in time and make my parents split up before they have children.

razorblunt

That time in 2007. I was buying a new pair of trainers, it was Friday, I was fully expecting the sales person to say "have a nice weekend", they said "do you want the receipt in the bag?".
I instantly said "Thanks, you too" and walked off.

I had to go back and get the receipt too.

Hector Bellend

I definitely would have rode my french teacher

Autecher

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

I'd go back in time and personally pay for a nationwide advertising campaign teaching people the difference between your / you're; lose / loose; though/tough etc. and all other pedantic stupid things that drive me up the walls.

The phrase is actually "drive me up the wall". You must drive yourself up the wall!

Hande hoche!

Drinking that stockpiled cache of Bulmers pear shortly before my death. Left the family with an awful mess to clean up.

I'd kick a lot more fcukers in the bollix

Autecher

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd kick a lot more fcukers in the bollix

Would you have done that while they were fcuking?

harry Bailey esq

Hector Bellend wrote: »

I definitely would have rode my french teacher

Mr O Carroll? You dirty c*nt, he's ancient!

cantdecide

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd kick a lot more fcukers in the bollix

It's never too late

By god lads yeve inspired me I'll start today

King George VI

"My only regret...is that I have boneitis"

Pac1Man

I would buy bitcoin.

sbsquarepants

Once upon a time there was this outrageously sexy work comrade who wanted to hook up in a hotel for a bit of kinky fúckery as the saying goes, only for me to tell her no, I was with someone.
3 or 4 weeks later it turns out that this someone had been regularly getting banjoed by a couple of blokes she worked with.
So back I go to miss sexy, cap in hand, only to be told (very politely I might add) that I had my chance and could now piss right off.:mad:

Anyway - I wish I had booked that hotel room for a week.

soups05

Hector Bellend wrote: »

I definitely would have rode my french teacher

Feaky, is that you brother?

highdef

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

I'd go back in time and personally pay for a nationwide advertising campaign teaching people the difference between your / you're; lose / loose; though/tough etc. and all other pedantic stupid things that drive me up the walls.

I could tink of wurse things, like bad whether or weather or knot I'll have loads of munny and be happy.

Boom_Bap

I actually should have went to specsavers

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

I'd go back and tell my younger self to stop thinking about what they would go back and change and just get on with life.

Hector Bellend

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Mr O Carroll? You dirty c*nt, he's ancient!

such a roide

Hector Bellend

soups05 wrote: »

Feaky, is that you brother?

god damn it

Hector Bellend

mad muffin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYPsoxpt0BU

_Dara_

Garrett81 wrote: »

It’s many years from now and your surrounded by your loved ones, your about to take your last breath and leave this world. If you were given the opportunity to come back and change something/anything in your life what would it be? Why wait until your deathbed can you make that change right now ?

Well, I'd say one doesn't know when their deathbed will be. It might be decades from now and we all assume that will be us. But it might be much sooner than you think. With that in mind, people should ask themselves "What burning ambitions do I have?", "What are the things I really want to do and achieve?". I think that's why the film 'The Bucket List' resonated so much with people despite not being great.

I always assumed I'd visit New York one day. It was going to happen at some point in the future. The future, always the future, not the present. Now it won't happen.* Let this be a lesson to you all.

*And I unfortunately mean that. For a host of logistical and health reasons I won't get into here.

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

I'd go back in time and personally pay for a nationwide advertising campaign teaching people the difference between your / you're; lose / loose; though/tough etc. and all other pedantic stupid things that drive me up the walls.

I'm assuming this is a joke. :pac: This doesn't sound remotely fulfilling to me but I guess we're all different. To add, I know the difference between lose and loose, but when quickly writing, often mix them up. Not sure why. I think a lot of people have things like this. So I have little time for sanctimony about this topic.

Capt'n Midnight

One of the tricks of the early Christian kings was to wait until their deathbed before getting baptised.

So they could do whatever they wanted before then and still go straight to heaven :cool:

The_Valeyard

Id create a goonies style treasure hunt for the grandkids to finds.

JohnnyFlash

I'd have broken up with that battleaxe of a woman known as my ex-wife about 15 years ago. She's had a puss on her that would turn milk sour since the day I married her.

Capt'n Midnight

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Id create a goonies style treasure hunt for the grandkids to finds.

Or tell them there's bitcoins on your computer and watch them squirm while you pretend to remember part of the password

The_Valeyard

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Or tell them there's bitcoins on your computer and watch them squirm while you pretend to remember part of the password

Just hide the ssd somewhere in a mineshaft, rail cart, abandoned house.

NollagShona

joining boards

The_Valeyard

NollagShona wrote: »

joining boards

You dont have to wait for your death bed to change that. :P :P

fergus1001

I'd go out with my lad in my hand

mickrock

I'd buy a more comfortable bed.

NollagShona

The_Valeyard wrote: »

You dont have to wait for your death bed to change that. :P :P

You can’t not join.

It’s more addictive than crack!

elperello

Would you go away and let me die in peace.

Spanish Eyes

Few care really apart from your definitely loved ones.

And then life goes on for everyone.

We are just a little spot on the horizon. And soon forgotten but sure that's life and death.

The funeral is the thing for the neighbours though. I love that shyt.

Fake News

I wouldn't change anything. I would just die bitter in contempt of life.

Pinch Flat

I told you I was sick

James 007

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I'd have broken up with that battleaxe of a woman known as my ex-wife about 15 years ago. She's had a puss on her that would turn milk sour since the day I married her.

Why did you marry her, you too should have gone to specsavers

justfillmein

i'd go back and have that affair with the boyfriends uncle when i was about 18. definitely something I would have benefited from immensely

fergus1001

justfillmein wrote:

i'd go back and have that affair with the boyfriends uncle when i was about 18. definitely something I would have benefited from immensely

So he could just fill you in ??

sbsquarepants

_Dara_ wrote: »

Well, I'd say one doesn't know when their deathbed will be.

Slightly off topic, but reminds me of an incident many years back when I had an accident in work, resulting in torn ligaments in my ankle, ouch, I remember it clearly, it was a nice warm Friday afternoon.
It was only when I arrived in A and E that I remembered the previous evening looking at my toenails, which were like those novelty monster feet slippers and thinking "ah fúck it, i'll cut them at the weekend, sure no ones going to see them!":mad:

_Dara_

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Slightly off topic, but reminds me of an incident many years back when I had an accident in work, resulting in torn ligaments in my ankle, ouch, I remember it clearly, it was a nice warm Friday afternoon.
It was only when I arrived in A and E that I remembered the previous evening looking at my toenails, which were like those novelty monster feet sleepers and thinking "ah fúck it, i'll cut them at the weekend, sure no ones going to see them!":mad:

My toenails are a constant source of embarrassment for me as I like to wear socks as little as possible. But yet, I can’t seem to muster any interest in rectifying the matter so they will continue to do so. I totally understand. Also: torn ligaments. OUCH. I stretched a ligament in my ankle years ago. fück-me-hard-with-a-knobbly-dildo, that hurt.

Ewww, reminds me of when I went through a period of serious depression a few months after my terminal diagnosis. As I’m sure many will know, depression is often accompanied by a lack of interest in personal hygiene. Sometimes I’d go into hospital for treatment having not showered for the guts of a week. Poor hospital staff and fellow waiting room reluctantees. Manky. But exceptionally bad times for me so I won’t beat myself up too much over it.

sbsquarepants

_Dara_ wrote: »

Sometimes I’d go into hospital for treatment having not showered for the guts of a week. it.

Too depressed to wash - Lynx, the shower in a can:D

I think I could make it big advertising!

Junkyard Tom

MORE FOOTBALL.

KERSPLAT!

Jaliyah Jealous Drugstore wrote: »

I'd go back and tell my younger self to stop thinking about what they would go back and change and just get on with life.

Exciting!!

donegaLroad

James 007 wrote: »

Why did you marry her, you too should have gone to specsavers

Sometimes a person can be too close to the eye of the storm to be aware of its true force.

razorblunt

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Slightly off topic, but reminds me of an incident many years back when I had an accident in work, resulting in torn ligaments in my ankle, ouch, I remember it clearly, it was a nice warm Friday afternoon.
It was only when I arrived in A and E that I remembered the previous evening looking at my toenails, which were like those novelty monster feet slippers and thinking "ah fúck it, i'll cut them at the weekend, sure no ones going to see them!":mad:

Rocked into A&E on a stretcher with a leg injury years ago wearing Homer Simpson boxers, not embarrassing in itself but they "laundry day" boxers more holes than the plot of a crap movie.

andekwarhola

I'm hoping I'll have my wits about me enough to tell the family in a tremorous voice to gather round as if to say something of grave import and then just say something like arse and quietly pop my clogs.

Think my sons would definitely like that.