How can I sober up in less than an hour?

q85dw7osi4lebg

Irish Coffee. 60% of the time it works every time.

super_furry

Cocaine.

Yester

hairyslug wrote: »

There's a thread around here somewhere about how to kill the mother in law, maybe considered a bit extreme but might be worth a quick read, could save you a lot of hassle in the long run.

If I didn't actually like her that would help. But that said It would get me out of an awkard dinner tonight. She is driving down Dublin as we speak. Anyone have any links to a good hitman?

Mod

banned for trying to hire a hitman.

RobbingBandit

Blood transfusion or something like that

Have you thought about breaking up with your partner, then calling them tomorrow to say you made a big mistake

RobbingBandit

Prestochango is good advice just walk in ass naked making a move on your mil could be a fun evening

Yester

Deleted User wrote: »

Have you thought about breaking up with your partner, then calling them tomorrow to say you made a big mistake

My hat is off to you sir. I shall ring her now with the news.

Specialun

Yester wrote: »

My main problem is my mouth when I'm drinking. So If (and it is an if ) I can stay quiet for the first hour or so, I might get away with it. I suspect I look like death though. I will drink tea and water in a freezing cold shower,

what about the poo

beertons

Few spliffs, be grand.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Yester wrote: »

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Speed.

I'm horsing pints of water and tea from other considerate posters. You just want to watch the world burn don't you?

Just sat you've been a bit sick and blame any paux faus in side - effects of the meds!

Yester

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Prestochango is good advice just walk in ass naked making a move on your mil could be a fun evening

This is the kind of thing I am trying to avoid.

Tell me how

Go to a different restaurant and then ring your wife to ask where are they?

Drag out making it to the restaurant until you are sober. Walk the distance. Or swim. Swimming helps me get rid of hangovers.

Aidric

Have you seen the move Flight?

Yester

Specialun wrote: »

what about the poo

I've watched enough American movies to know to poo before I go out.

Tilikum17

Cocaine.

JackTaylorFan

Yester wrote: »

? I have coal and I will lick it if it helps.

Sure, it can't do any harm - give it a go, OP

Yester

Aidric wrote: »

Have you seen the move Flight?

Yes I have hee hee

Yester

Shameful Display wrote: »

Nothing you can do. You almost certainly stink and look a mess. You'll try to hard to appear sober at dinner and everyone will just think you're weird.

Thats where you are wrong. I will sit there licking my lump of coal and they will think I am charming.

Yester

Tilikum17 wrote: »

Cocaine.

I'm going to drink a can of coke now because of you.

Beanntraigheach

There's nothing you can do.

But look on the bright side: your inebriated state will give you the courage to finally tell your mother-in-law how deeply sexually attractive you find her.

JackTaylorFan

OP, seriously though.. I think you need to face the futility of your situation.

Roofie the entire family and forget about 2017

Yester

Beanntraigheach wrote: »

There's nothing you can do.

But look on the bright side: your inebriated state will give you the courage to finally tell your mother-in-law how deeply sexually attractive you find her.

This is also the sort of thing I am trying to avoid. I'm having a can of coke because sugar helps apparently

Lorelli!

Just make an excuse and don't go op.

If you do go, let us know how it turns out and good luck

Feisar

Doubt you have smelling salts on hand but they might help. However there is bugger all to be done at this stage.

I think the three pints will wear off though in time, you might feel locked as a result of basically topping up but I don't think its the same as actually being hammered.

Besides the fact you are compos mentis at the moment, i.e. worrying about your situation tells me you're grand.

Yester

Ok. I'm trying to put my game face on here. The mother-in-law got me a shirt for xmas so I'm going to wear that. I did have a cold so I might use that as an excuse as well.

foxatron

Can you do one of those facebook live streams of the whole thing. I bet that would help.

Yester

Feisar wrote: »

Doubt you have smelling salts on hand but they might help. However there is bugger all to be done at this stage.

I think the three pints will wear off though in time, you might feel locked as a result of basically topping up but I don't think its the same as actually being hammered.

Besides the fact you are compos mentis at the moment, i.e. worrying about your situation tells me you're grand.

Cheers. That actually gives me a bit of confidence. BTW Mullingar is an awesome town.

Yester

foxatron wrote: »

Can you do one of those facebook live streams of the whole thing. I bet that would help.

I still have my old nokia phone but if I had an iphone I would stream it for your viewing pleasure.

RobbingBandit

To alcohol the cause of and solutions to all of life's problems

Yester

RobbingBandit wrote: »

To alcohol the cause of and solutions to all of life's problems

Cheers Homer