He has no interest right?

Big Bag of Chips

jimbobalob309 wrote: »

youve nothing to lose after all if youve decided youre no longer going to keep in touch with him

Exactly this. You've nothing to lose. You live in Donegal. He lives in Cork. If you say it to him and he turns you down other than a bit of a bruised ego what have you lost? Nothing. You never have to see him again. You're unlikely to bump into him in Aldi. You're giving him no indication that you are interested yet you seem to be expecting him to come see you. How exactly? Invite himself to Donegal, to stay in your house, in your bed presumably? Bit presumptuous of him if you're showing no interest in anything other than hooking up occasionally when you happen to be at a loose end in Cork.

If you really think he's not interested, fair enough. You're there. You know him. But just "leaving it" without actually having a chat, and seeing what's what is very childish. Up to this point he hasn't done anything that you haven't done yourself. If you are ending the arrangement you owe him at least a heads up!

If he was the one posting saying he was just going to forget about it, you'd have people telling him it's unfair to just "ghost" you and disappear. No reason why that shouldn't work both ways. And if its only a casual thing, then there's no reason it can't be said in a phone call, or even a text.

Edit: just think about what you are saying.. you really like him. You've never felt like this before. So your plan is to never see him again??!

Bythefire

I text him to say hope Christmas was good & happy New year, he replied pretty much the same. That was it.
I'm going to just forget about him, I think it was the emotion of Christmas that got to me. I have no reason to see him again and he clearly hasn't any intention of suggesting to meet up.
No fool like an old fool! I'm going to just give up on guys for a while. Thanks again to all for replies.

Passenger

Bythefire wrote: »

I text him to say hope Christmas was good & happy New year, he replied pretty much the same. That was it.
I'm going to just forget about him, I think it was the emotion of Christmas that got to me. I have no reason to see him again and he clearly hasn't any intention of suggesting to meet up.
No fool like an old fool! I'm going to just give up on guys for a while. Thanks again to all for replies.

What exactly did you expect him to say in the reply?

Pelvis

I can't believe he didn't profess his love for you op.

njs030

Bythefire wrote: »

I text him to say hope Christmas was good & happy New year, he replied pretty much the same. That was it.
I'm going to just forget about him, I think it was the emotion of Christmas that got to me. I have no reason to see him again and he clearly hasn't any intention of suggesting to meet up.
No fool like an old fool! I'm going to just give up on guys for a while. Thanks again to all for replies.

He said the same thing you said to him?

You contacted him to meet up for sex - twice -
it may look to him that it's all you want, if you want to change that it's up to you.
Now I'm out of this thread because it doesn't seem you're interested in any opinion that doesn't validate your "men chase women" opinion despite the fact you chased him up to now.

Bythefire

notjustsweet wrote: »

He said the same thing you said to him?

You contacted him to meet up for sex - twice -

It wasn'tlike that at all. It was only after that happened I realised how much I liked him. Something clicked with me then.

From the text, maybe I was wrong to expect him to ask a question to keep the conversation going.

I dont think any guy can honestly say he wouldn't try keep a conversation going with a girl he liked or try initiate meeting up if he did like her. Mike hasn't. He just doesn't see me as a girl he wants to date.

njs030

Or you ask a question to continue the conversation. Why is it suddenly up to him??

I really don't understand your attitude op. You've gone from a cool woman who has no problem asking a man she fancied to meet her for drinks and spend the night with her to this parody of a "rules" girl who's sitting there waiting to be woo'd like something from the 50's.

Ill be completely honest with you here, if he was interested it would be in the fun cool interesting woman not the drama ridden overthinking person you're acting like so I'd agree it's best to leave it.

Bythefire

Thanks!
We met purely as friends. There was NOTHING else to it at the time. Nothing at all. Him staying at my b&b was just a drunk thing and if he wanted more after that, he would have said something to indicate it but he hasn't.
The overthinking on my part is because I know what guys are like & make it obvious if they are interested in a girl. I have has this discussion with male friends and they all agree with me too.
I'm sorry if wanting a guy to make a move is so wrong but it's what I know. I am extremely shy and my confidence is quite low at the moment, so I won't say anything to him. I want to forget it all happened now and leave it as a nice memory.

fits

OP I think you are right. He is probably not into it or he’d make more of an effort. Or maybe he hasn’t considered you having potential asa couple. That said if I were you I’d still be tempted to throw caution to the wind and say something.

Big Bag of Chips

What is the worst thing that can happen if you tell him you have feelings for him?

Bythefire

I'm just not able for rejection right now. Simple! Easier to listen to my gut instinct and try forget about him.

Big Bag of Chips

Mod Note: Well it seems there is no further reason to allow the thread to run.
I'll lock it as you are not looking for anymore advice.

All the best, OP.