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Is it ever acceptable for a man to hit a woman?

[Deleted User]

On another thread, this subject was a focal point. A poster said the following;

I really hate this backlash against feminism and people reaching for the whole "oh well if a woman throws a slap she deserves to get a slap back".

This kind of attitude is just as dangerous to me. If a woman does throw a slap, it's a bit rich if she doesn't expect one back. Why should anyone take a slap from anyone? F*ck that noise. I myself have been slapped by a particular woman for basically nothing. When she did it the first time I was shocked. The second time I was p*ssed off and the third time I was furious and it hurt because it was a full on punch in the face with rings on. I told her in no uncertain terms that if there was a fourth one coming she could expect a receipt. There wasn't. Now, I've never ever hit a woman and I like to think I never would but how many times should you let someone punch the **** out of you?

I know the answer to this question is that nobody should ever hit anybody but what's your opinion here if something like the above occurs?

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Are Am Eye

Ficheall wrote: »

Is it okay to kick a midget if they kick you first?

Hmmm. Midget woman?

SuperSean11

Omackeral wrote: »

I don't think I agree with that. Same goes for if some piece of sh*t hit my gf for example, I'd absolutely smack him. Wouldn't even think about it. You wouldn't think that's justified?

What if it turns out your girlfriends a member of ISIS...where’s the line?

[Deleted User]

Tell me how wrote: »

I'm not trying to be annoyingly argumentative but if they're following you around, you're moving. If you're moving, can you not leave the area?

What if you're on a bus, say the Nightlink. Full of drunks, full of arguments. Can't always remove yourself.

Tell me how wrote: »

Would you think it would be wrong for a guy to lock himself in a room to prevent a female hitting him or do you think he should hit her to get her to stop?

You could make a case for either to be honest.

Tell me how

Omackeral wrote:

What if you're on a bus, say the Nightlink. Full of drunks, full of arguments. Can't always remove yourself.

Yes, you can. It's an inconvenience maybe, but you can.

Omackeral wrote:

You could make a case for either to be honest.

But isn't that the question you've asked here?

So, you're in your apartment, your gf is aggressive and slapping you. Do you A: lock yourself in ensuite until she's calmed down, B: leave the apartment or C: hit her?

SuperSean11

Tell me how wrote: »

Yes, you can. It's an inconvenience maybe, but you can.

But isn't that the question you've asked here?

So, you're in your apartment, your gf is aggressive and slapping you. Do you A: lock yourself in ensuite until she's calmed down, B: leave the apartment or C: hit her?

Oh I saw this one on pornhub, ye call the Gardai, 2 bean guards come and have sex with you while the gf pouts.

[Deleted User]

Tell me how wrote: »

Yes, you can. It's an inconvenience maybe, but you can.

You're on a subway then. Or a train. You can't always just leave. Besides, they can keep up the assault on you if you attempt to leave.

Tell me how wrote: »

So, you're in your apartment, your gf is aggressive and slapping you. Do you A: lock yourself in ensuite until she's calmed down, B: leave the apartment or C: hit her?

Option

Leave her. Wouldn't be with an abusive partner.

But hypothetically if it did happen. I wouldn't hit someone I love and care about unless they had a knife or something. It's a completely different scenario when talking about some random drunk scumbag assaulting you.

[Deleted User]

So, you're in your apartment, your gf is aggressive and slapping you. Do you A: lock yourself in ensuite until she's calmed down, B: leave the apartment or C: hit her?

Change the gender roles. It's not even about physical disparity at this stage you're throwing out an absolute nonsensical proposition that one person should not only bear all responsibility for being the target of another's aggression but that they should imprison themselves rather than take steps to defend themselves or retaliate?

Cmon.

Tell me how

SuperSean11 wrote:

Oh I saw this one on pornhub, ye call the Gardai, 2 bean guards come and have sex with you while the gf pouts.

Gardai on PH? Calls for some research.

[Deleted User]

SuperSean11 wrote: »

Oh I saw this one on pornhub, ye call the Gardai, 2 bean guards come and have sex with you while the gf pouts.

That happened like one time ever.

Are Am Eye

Tell me how wrote: »

Gardai on PH? Calls for some research.

Search "carla"

Outlaw Pete

How can she slap?!

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote:

Change the gender roles. It's not even about physical disparity at this stage you're throwing out an absolute nonsensical proposition that one person should not only bear all responsibility for being the target of another's aggression but that they should imprison themselves rather than take steps to defend themselves or retaliate?

So I take it you would hit someone rather than try to avoid them hitting you?

I'm not suggesting you're right or wrong, I'm suggesting that you'd have chosen to do so and couldn't say you had no alternative option.

Are Am Eye

In the right time and the right place you can hit her with some Barry White.

SuperSean11

Are Am Eye wrote: »

In the right time and the right place you can hit her with some Barry White.

Dirty bastard

http://www.slang.ie/mobile/index.php?search=Barry+white

Tell me how

Ok, if we're going that way.

Ian Dury. Hit me with your rhythm stick.

Surely stopping a row to play that on your phone would be an interesting approach.

[Deleted User]

Tell me how wrote: »

So I take it you would hit someone rather than try to avoid them hitting you?

I'm not suggesting you're right or wrong, I'm suggesting that you'd have chosen to do so and couldn't say you had no alternative option.

I'd imagine I'd avoid or control if I could. Defend if I couldn't. Whether I'd retaliate or attempt to do so I don't honestly now but I think "should" is an easy word to type.

I can't imagine that anyone would argue that locking yourself in the jacks after being subjected to assault is a healthy reaction.

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote:

I'd imagine I'd avoid or control if I could. Defend if I couldn't. Whether I'd retaliate or attempt to do so I don't honestly now but I think "should" is an easy word to type.

I can't imagine that anyone would argue that locking yourself in the jacks after being subjected to assault is a healthy reaction.

So you say you'd try to avoid but thinking doing so by putting a locked door between you and the attacker would be unhealthy.

Why?

SuperSean11

Tell me how wrote: »

So you say you'd try to avoid but thinking doing so by putting a locked door between you and the attacker would be unhealthy.

Why?

They could burn the house down with you inside.

[Deleted User]

Tell me how wrote: »

So you say you'd try to avoid but thinking doing so by putting a locked door between you and the attacker would be unhealthy.

Why?

Fair question

Assault is a traumatic event. I think adding to it by taking an extremely passive role such as described would make it all the more so.

Healthier for the person being assaulted to grab the baseball bat and start laying into them. Minimises self esteem issues going fwd and also greatly diminishes the odds of a repeat performance.

Tell me how

Omackeral wrote:

Option Leave her. Wouldn't be with an abusive partner.

How do you think people ultimately find themselves in abusive relationships? It's not like it's a personality trait you can tick in POF?

Omackeral wrote:

But hypothetically if it did happen. I wouldn't hit someone I love and care about unless they had a knife or something. It's a completely different scenario when talking about some random drunk scumbag assaulting you.

That's the "they deserved it" defence. It's not a recommended one in a court of law though is it?

Tell me how

SuperSean11 wrote:

They could burn the house down with you inside.

Then you come out with arms swinging!

SuperSean11

Tell me how wrote: »

That's the "they deserved it" defence. It's not a recommended one in a court of law though is it?

Them pulling a knife on you would be a pretty strong mitigating defense

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote:

Assault is a traumatic event. I think adding to it by taking an extremely passive role such as described would make it all the more so.

You think police forces and victims of abuse support services worldwide are giving the exact opposite advice to what should happen so?

_Dara_

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

I don't think it's really acceptable for people to be going around throwing slaps in general. I have to be honest and say that if a woman slapped a man once and he slapped her back I wouldn't think much of her but I'd think less of him. I'm actually trying to explain why to myself right now though. Maybe because of the general difference in size and strength of men and women. In your case OP she slapped you a few times so I think that's a different scenario, I'd understand you slapping her back. I don't know. Maybe don't slap people and if they slap you then try to restrain them rather than slap them back? If a man slapped a woman and she slapped him back I'd think it was deserved but somehow I think that men should restrain the woman if she slaps first. I know that is a sexist response and I'll have to think about that. It's just my gut feeling on it.

My gut feeling too. I guess it's just social conditioning. I've been slapped by a very strong woman before, as in she was one of those rare women whose baseline strength is that of a man. And boy did it hurt. Nearly knocked me off my feet too. I was sure she had broken a bone in my face. Whereas I know I would not have been able to inflict the same pain on her. So I think it comes down to woolly thinking about the likely strength of each of the players.

Really though, I think that the bigger person is the person that doesn't retaliate physically at all, no matter the gender of anyone involved on either side. I too think restraint is better or just walking away. But self-defence is fine in a more sustained attack.

Tell me how

SuperSean11 wrote:

Them pulling a knife on you would be a pretty strong mitigating defense

Absolutely it would, but when in this hypothetical debate did that happen?

The OP asked about reacting to a woman throwing a slap by retaliating in kind.

Riddle101

In self defense yes. Although it depends on the circumstances. If a woman is being really abusive and assaulting me then I feel I have the right to defend myself and use appropriate force to stop her. However I probably wouldn't hit a woman if a got a single slap from her. If she just slapped me and that was it then I would probably just leave it. It just really depends on the circumstances, like why is the woman hitting me? is there a good enough reason? Somethings aren't always black or white.

Tell me how

Riddle101 wrote:

In self defense yes. Although it depends on the circumstances. If a woman is being really abusive and assaulting me then I feel I have the right to defend myself and use appropriate force to stop her. However I probably wouldn't hit a woman if a got a single slap from her. If she just slapped me and that was it then I would probably just leave it. It just really depends on the circumstances, like why is the woman hitting me? is there a good enough reason? Somethings aren't always black or white.

Other than self defense I can't really think of why a man would want to hit a woman unless he's an abusive a*shole. In which case it wouldn't be acceptable.

Would you take the exact same approach if it was a male doing the assaulting?

SuperSean11

Tell me how wrote: »

Absolutely it would, but when in this hypothetical debate did that happen?

The OP asked about reacting to a woman throwing a slap by retaliating in kind.

Right here.

Omackeral wrote: »

You're on a subway then. Or a train. You can't always just leave. Besides, they can keep up the assault on you if you attempt to leave.

Option Leave her. Wouldn't be with an abusive partner.

But hypothetically if it did happen. I wouldn't hit someone I love and care about unless they had a knife or something. It's a completely different scenario when talking about some random drunk scumbag assaulting you.

See above

Tell me how

Omackeral wrote:

Option Leave her. Wouldn't be with an abusive partner.

But hypothetically if it did happen. I wouldn't hit someone I love and care about unless they had a knife or something. It's a completely different scenario when talking about some random drunk scumbag assaulting you.

SuperSean11 wrote:

See above

Hmmm. I still understood the OP (who also posted above) was talking about the situation which did not include a knife.

A knife is a different discussion, obviously.

SuperSean11

Tell me how wrote: »

Hmmm. I still understood the OP (who also posted above) was talking about the situation which did not include a knife.

A knife is a different discussion, obviously.

I was refering to the one quoted below, obviously

Omackeral wrote: »

But hypothetically if it did happen. I wouldn't hit someone I love and care about unless they had a knife or something. It's a completely different scenario when talking about some random drunk scumbag assaulting you.