Non-LGBT posters coming into this forum and insulting us

Annasopra

Ten of Swords wrote: »

No, that would make it less accessible. As it stands the LGBT forum is one of the few on Boards where anonymous posting is permitted in an effort to make it more accessible while protecting privacy for those who have concerns.

Q for the mods, is there much abuse of the anon posts? I know they are pre-moderated so users don't see an anon post until a mod has reviewed it. Are there many troll anon posts that don't make it through or are these generally used for their intended purpose?

No. A tiny amount. Almost non existent.

cgcsb

Sleeper12 wrote: »

No. I don't think I said that.
Here's me saying I wouldn't comment about "homophobic" again on this thread but if I didn't say it then I didn't say it

When racism comes up on other forums one poster loves to say that Black people statistically have a lower IQ than White people. Personally I doubt it's true & if it is it's down to nutrition or something. Anyway he insists it's not a racist comment if it's fact, however it is racist if you use it in conversations to beat the Black man down or to try use it to prove that the White man is beter/superioro black. Your intent is racist. Point is sometimes something isn't racist/ homophobic when said one way but the exact same thing said with different intent would be

Not making excuses for anyone here anyone making back to the wall comment is plain ignorant imo. I ask myself why do some men make comments like. Men that really don't seem to have an issue with gay people. I think it's a male defense mechanism. It's like "I don't have a problem with gay people, so long as he doesn't try it on with me" The same guy wouldn't be beating the ladies off with a stick & I don't believe he thinks that more gay men would be into him than straight women. I honestly believe that men say these things to make sure their mates don't think that they are gay. I think a lot of straight men are insecure about their own maleness.

Let's set the record straight as far as gay men "trying it on with me". I'm 50. I owned hairsalons for almost 30 years. Some gay men worked with me. None tried it on with me. I was never pushed, gropped kissed. Nothing. Myself, my wife & another couple used to go to Republica night club n Kildare Street on Sunday night. Sunday was gay night. Ther'd be 10 girls if even that there. My friend & I were asked most weeks by gay men if we wanted to dance or whatever. Thanks for the offer but thats my wife over there would be my reply.Cool, no problem was the typical answer. No one ever stole a kiss groped me or anything like that. It was flattering. My friend & I would say whoever got the most approaches in the night won a pint. I went to the gym for years. I'd be starkers in the sauna. nobody groped me ever. Either I'm an ugly fecker or gay men can behave themselves despite what some people think.

That's my experience of gay men. Not much different to straight men. Better dress sense maybe.

I'm sorry but it is a vile unacceptable homophobic comment. Regardless of what issues you have going on in your head, saying those things is homophobic and the speaker is a homophobe. The cause of that persons homophobia, be it sexual inadequacy, father issues, gender identity issues, I don't think it matters and gay people in general don't care, we mostly just don't want to be ridiculed in public. You're not going to define that person out of homophobia just because their homophobia is caused by some psychological fragility. Homophobia and racism is often motivated by some inadequacy or another, it matters not though, it's still wrong.

Annasopra

Sleeper12 wrote: »

I'm a straight married man. I am & always have been a friend of the gay community. I try to be a friend of all communities.

I say this with all respect but at times the term homophobia or homophobic are over used on this forum. This can cause visitors to the forum to react in a negative way. This is my observation. I don't mean everyone overuses these terms but some do.

On the other side it's going to take another generation or maybe two before a lot of straight men become truly modern men. A gang of men down the pub might joke about keeping your back to the wall or something childish like that but most wouldn't knowingly say it in front of a gay person. And believe it or not they wouldn't mean any offence by it. That isn't to say that you can't feel offended by it.

I'm 50 in a few weeks. In the 60s most men didn't use shampoo, they used soap and water instead. Aftershave was seen as perfume & a man's man wouldn't be caught dead using it. They only drank Guinness because it was a man's drink. A larger drinker was less of a man. By the 80s male collage students were wearing eye liner, mousse, gel etc.

What I'm trying to say is that Irish men change slowly. A gay man might struggle with his identity but the straight man struggles with his identity too. I think the back against the wall joke can be a way of stating that you are not gay to your friends. This shows how insecure some straight men can be.

We are changing but slowly. I never thought I'd see same sex marriage in my life time in Ireland. Homosexuality was illegal only a short while ago.

All of the above is me trying to explain how some straight posters might post or say things that you find offensive without meaning to offend. This is not me trying to defend people who deliberately try to hurt or offend

Some interesting observations.

This is an lgbt forum so it puzzles me why there are objections to us using terminology such as homophobia or homophobic. Homophobia and indeed lesbophobia, biohobia and transphobia are deeply scarring and hurtful phenomenens for many of us. Many of us have been targets one or all of these throughout our lives; in the schoolyard, at home, in the workplace, in the community and indeed online Some of it is hurtful words and some of it is worse; hateful physical abuse. In turn many of us because of our life experiences have turned our lesbophobia, homophobia, biphobia and transphobia inwards against ourselves; this resulted in huge mental health problems, high rates of suicide, higher rates of smoking, drug alcohol use than the general community. It really is very odd to tell us not to discuss it. Why should we be silent?

The back against the wall "joke" is perhaps a sign of immaturity and insecurity but let's be honest it is homophobic.

It depends on the idea that if the man didn’t press his back to the wall then he wouldn’t be able to resist penetration from other gay mens peniss; at it's heart the statement is painting all gay men as abusers.

The problem I see here is some cisgender heterosexual men coming in here and telling us that what they are saying is not offensive; despite the fact that we as lgbt people find their words offensive. I actually think those people can't be excused and it can't be suggested they don't mean to offend when they persist in insisting they are right no matter what and that despite our life experiences and our identities that we are wrong. These type of posters basically want to soapbox at us don't want to engage in any meaningful or genuine conversation with us. That kind of behaviour is plain rude and is against the charter and frankly I think personally moderation of that kind of behaviour needs to be a little tougher.

JackTaylorFan

Speaking as the user who has had more threads closed on here than everyone else combined in the last year, I find this thread... amusing.

But, yes, I do agree with the OP's original sentiment.

Speaking as a transwoman, I often bring up topics that challenge people even in the larger LGBT+ community, and I do expect a certain level of willful ignorance and thinly veiled transphobia whenever I do - be it from cis-straight people who have strayed over this way for a lark or otherwise.

In many of the threads pertaining to trans issues, I find myself being talked at by other users who have no actual interest in listening to what you're saying or what your experience has been as the minority in question; they just want to state from their perspective, that it makes no sense what the transperson is "whining" on about, and as the issue doesn't bother or affect their quality of life in the slightest, it's not all that important. Throw in the odd and entirely "accidental" (I'm sure) spot of misgendering and the "some of my friends know some transpeople" argument, and that's usually how it goes until the MODS shut it down, and I get my next infraction.

And yes, I often take a dismissive tone with replies on here - because, well most of the replies I receive (have to put up with) are from people who do not identify as LGBT+ and whose input I would definitely classify as willfully ignorant. Saying that, a few members inside the community are just as bad when it comes to trans issues.

Heebie

JackTaylorFan wrote:

Speaking as a transwoman, I often bring up topics that challenge people even in the larger LGBT+ community, and I do expect a certain level of willful ignorance and thinly veiled transphobia whenever I do - be it from cis-straight people who have strayed over this way for a lark or otherwise.

Thanks for bringing up such issues. I know that I, a cisgendered gay male, had real problems with trans folks until a friend of mine came out as trans, and I realised I had to reevaluate my beliefs on the subject.
That friend taught me a bit, but there's still a long way for me to go in order to understand trans issues. (Same for pansexual and asexual folks) Not being one makes it difficult for me to imagine what issues you and people in those other groups deal with every day.
So... the best thing I can do is STFU and listen to people who do.
I've noticed from many of these discussions that I'm far from the only one who still has a long way to go!

Understanding straight-cis haters seems easy by comparison... although many of them are actually us, but still deeply closeted.
It's a pita to deal with them, but showing them patience and understanding might just help them come out to themselves. I've seen it happen more than once.

JackTaylorFan

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

I often bring up topics that challenge people even in the larger LGBT+ community, and I do expect a certain level of willful ignorance and thinly veiled transphobia whenever I do

There is a suggestion in some studies in the world that Friday 13th actually can be an unlucky day. Not because of any paranormal effects of the number 13 - but because people have a heightened sense of anxiety and distraction and this leads to the self fulfilling narrative of accidents and misfortune actually occurring. So sure are they that they will fall foul of misfortune - that they actively find ways to make sure they do.

I wonder in a similar fashion if your positively expecting to find ignorance and veiled transphobia's means you will actively find it even when it is not there. That you will be compelled - as a form of self fulfilling narrative - to interpret even innocent error or mundane linguistic choices to verify your own expectations in that regard. So sure are you that it is going to be there - that you interpret everything and anything in a way to ensure it actually is.

For example here you say "I find myself being talked at by other users who have no actual interest in listening to what you're saying" - but I think if anyone looks at your most recent locked thread and infractions - the user you were interacting with could likely not express their interest and willingness to listen to you - as well as their own humility and ignorance - any clearer than they did.

But so stuck in the narrative of "They do not wish to listen to me" were you - that nothing they did say or could have said - seemed likely to divert you from that course - and make you realise that yes they actually were very interested in listening to you.

But if your threads keep getting shut - and you keep accumulating infractions - perhaps a healthy injection of a "It is not them - it is me" narrative into your thinking on the matter might be prudent? Because if this is happening with some level of consistency then the common denominator is - quite clearly - you yourself?

And as I said in my first post above - when we as a community have genuine concerns to raise in the world - does it serve that agenda to have us look like "easily triggered snowflakes and whingers" by elements within our community that go off on one at the drop of a hat. Any hat. At any time.

Sleeper12

A couple of suggestions:

I have had to ask to be allowed to post in some forums in my last 6 months. I think politics might have been one. This might cut me down on trolls here

Another one is afaik there is a forum for electrician's to descuss regulations in the trade & I think the is invisible to the rest of us.

I'm not trying to push you underground or out of sight but thought these might be a possibility for serious conversation without the likes of me butting in

seamus

I think that may have been considered at one point?

I guess the problem there is that you're putting a doorman onto what may be regarded as a "safe space" by some. That is, you may have some people who sign up specifically because they have nowhere in their normal life to discuss LGBT matters - they may not be out, etc. You may also have regular posters on other forums who create a second account for this forum only, to maintain anonymity.

Both of whom will be locked out if there are access controls on the forum.

There are other things you can do, like pre-moderating the posts of anyone with less than 5 posts on boards. But you still have an issue there where some newbie posts in the middle of the night because they need to talk, but a mod may not see it for another 12 hours.

Sleeper12

Personality I like it visible. I don't usually comment here but I have learned from the forum

cgcsb

I had a thread on here about homophobia in the workplace. It was locked by a mod because there were way too many straight folks coming on to insult us, which I found a strange course of action, banning the offenders would have been more appropriate. That's really not fair, if we can't talk about homophobia here because we're afraid of homophobes then we may just all get back in our closets and get rid of this forum.

Where can we discuss these things openly without being insulted for sharing our experiences?

I've been attacked, glassed, spat at and had abuse hurled at me in the street, in work, in college in school, and I can't even talk about it with other gay folks, never mind with society in general.

Ten of Swords

There was a dedicated Transgender forum a few years ago, it was hidden and invitation only. The moderator (at the time) has since left Boards so I don't know if there is a new mod or if the forum is now inactive/closed.

The reason for this forum was because Boards fora in general (even this one back when it was called the GLB forum) were not very understanding of Transgender issues and a safe space, for lack of a better term, was needed. I don't know how many members that forum had but I do know it declined rapidly in the last few years, probably due to a multitude of factors but certainly it's invitation only status did not encourage new members (it was necessary at the time but ultimately put an obstacle in the way of people trying to access information).

I'd be against restricting access to the LGBT forum in any way. This forum, while quiet, has an enormous amount of lurkers every single day and I think that's a good thing. Maybe it's curiosity, maybe it's looking up information but don't want to post, maybe it's reading other peoples stories etc. Many users have said in the past that they don't often post in this forum but get great solace from reading about the experiences of others and relating it to their own situation. None of this would be possible if the forum was restricted.

As for minimum number of posts, I believe that would be useless as a deterrent, the vast majority of trolls are not one-posters. There are some, sure, but not enough to warrant that kind of change to the forum.

cgcsb wrote: »

I had a thread on here about homophobia in the workplace. It was locked by a mod because there were way too many straight folks coming on to insult us, which I found a strange course of action, banning the offenders would have been more appropriate.

For the record cgcsb I also thought that was a very unfortunate decision and it didn't sit well with me at all.

robyntmorton

cgcsb wrote: »

I had a thread on here about homophobia in the workplace. It was locked by a mod because there were way too many straight folks coming on to insult us, which I found a strange course of action, banning the offenders would have been more appropriate. That's really not fair, if we can't talk about homophobia here because we're afraid of homophobes then we may just all get back in our closets and get rid of this forum.

Without publicly discussing specific moderator action, which is against site rules, this is a difficult one to call. It would be my belief that generally it is better to lock, do your moderation, unlock and move on, that can get time consuming, and with the mods being volunteers, if it becomes too much of a time sink, it is better for them to shut it down.

Moderating a board like this is never going to be an exact science or an easy task, but they do a fairly good job. If there’s a particular action you want clarified, pm them about it, get their point of view, and if the topic is something that you still want to discuss, work with them on how to move forward.

JackTaylorFan

Deleted User wrote: »

But so stuck in the narrative of "They do not wish to listen to me" were you - that nothing they did say or could have said - seemed likely to divert you from that course - and make you realise that yes they actually were very interested in listening to you.

No, sorry. The user I believe you are referring to, couldn't even be bothered to read the thread and address me respectively. Also, refused to accept an answer I had already provided to someone else, as the reasoning was not sufficient for (I assume) his cis-straight man worldview. And then he repeated the same question over and over looking for a different result - adding irrelevant points to the discussion and confusing the issue.

He also made some sorry excuse for not knowing how to address people like me and that not only should I be willing to educate him - that everyone else, including the MODS should too. Well, guess what: that's not my job. Nobody ever told me how to talk to people of different ethinicities - but I figured how to respectively anyhow. Using a little tool called empathy.

And with all due respect, the Friday the 13th analogy is crap.

JackTaylorFan

Ten of Swords wrote: »

There was a dedicated Transgender forum a few years ago, it was hidden and invitation only. The moderator (at the time) has since left Boards so I don't know if there is a new mod or if the forum is now inactive/closed.

The reason for this forum was because Boards fora in general (even this one back when it was called the GLB forum) were not very understanding of Transgender issues and a safe space, for lack of a better term, was needed. I don't know how many members that forum had but I do know it declined rapidly in the last few years, probably due to a multitude of factors but certainly it's invitation only status did not encourage new members (it was necessary at the time but ultimately put an obstacle in the way of people trying to access information).

I'd be against restricting access to the LGBT forum in any way. This forum, while quiet, has an enormous amount of lurkers every single day and I think that's a good thing. Maybe it's curiosity, maybe it's looking up information but don't want to post, maybe it's reading other peoples stories etc. Many users have said in the past that they don't often post in this forum but get great solace from reading about the experiences of others and relating it to their own situation. None of this would be possible if the forum was restricted.

As for minimum number of posts, I believe that would be useless as a deterrent, the vast majority of trolls are not one-posters. There are some, sure, but not enough to warrant that kind of change to the forum.



For the record cgcsb I also thought that was a very unfortunate decision and it didn't sit well with me at all.

As someone who has spent time on trangender only forums (not here) in the past; they can be good for general queries, such as where to begin in transitioning; advice, emotional support, etc.

But as a way of raising awareness and allowing a discussion in the wider community they are useless. I like that this forum remains open, it provides a small corner where trans issues can be brought to the attention of a larger population. And despite the sometimes antagonist nature, it is still a pretty safe environment, without being overly insulated - and I think this is due to the decent modding carried out here.

One final aside: for whatever reason - perhaps the users have all moved on to secret groups on Facebook, etc. - forums specific for trans-support in Ireland have disappeared on the internet. They were a little toxic anyhow - so perhaps it's for the best.

Annasopra

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

No, sorry. The user I believe you are referring to, couldn't even be bothered to read the thread and address me respectively. Also, refused to accept an answer I had already provided to someone else, as the reasoning was not sufficient for (I assume) his cis-straight man worldview. And then he repeated the same question over and over looking for a different result - adding irrelevant points to the discussion and confusing the issue.

He also made some sorry excuse for not knowing how to address people like me and that not only should I be willing to educate him - that everyone else, including the MODS should too. Well, guess what: that's not my job. Nobody ever told me how to talk to people of different ethinicities - but I figured how to respectively anyhow. Using a little tool called empathy.

And with all due respect, the Friday the 13th analogy is crap.

Mod

JTF. That discussion was closed for a reason. Please do not drag this thread off topic by dragging that discussion back in here.

Annasopra

cgcsb wrote: »

I had a thread on here about homophobia in the workplace. It was locked by a mod because there were way too many straight folks coming on to insult us, which I found a strange course of action, banning the offenders would have been more appropriate. That's really not fair, if we can't talk about homophobia here because we're afraid of homophobes then we may just all get back in our closets and get rid of this forum.

Where can we discuss these things openly without being insulted for sharing our experiences?

I've been attacked, glassed, spat at and had abuse hurled at me in the street, in work, in college in school, and I can't even talk about it with other gay folks, never mind with society in general.

Fair enough. Feedback I will take on board.

JackTaylorFan

Deleted User wrote: »

For example here you say "I find myself being talked at by other users who have no actual interest in listening to what you're saying" - but I think if anyone looks at your most recent locked thread and infractions - the user you were interacting with could likely not express their interest and willingness to listen to you - as well as their own humility and ignorance - any clearer than they did.

But so stuck in the narrative of "They do not wish to listen to me" were you - that nothing they did say or could have said - seemed likely to divert you from that course - and make you realise that yes they actually were very interested in listening to you.

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Mod

JTF. That discussion was closed for a reason. Please do not drag this thread off topic by dragging that discussion back in here.

See above: I didn't bring it up.

Manion

When I see words like cis and hetro and the context in which they are used at times, it's disheartening. You can almost sense the vitriol in it. Often it appears to be from the people who are the biggest advocates for self determination. It's somewhat ironic then attempting to pigeonhole others into a gender and a sexuality.

JackTaylorFan

Manion wrote: »

When I see words like cis and hetro and the context in which they are used at times, it's disheartening. You can almost sense the vitriol in it. Often it appears to be from the people who are the biggest advocates for self determination. It's somewhat ironic then attempting to pigeonhole others into a gender and a sexuality.

Utter nonsense. It's a way of making important distinctions in nuanced discussions. Not many people like labels applied to their identity - for example: I despise having to identify as trans - but sometimes it's a necessity in life. I'd rather be cis to be honest. And you're certainly not a victim here.

Annasopra

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

See above: I didn't bring it up.

Okay. I apologise to you for singling you out. Mod warning applies to all. Posts rehashing that discussion will be deleted.

Exactly - there is no reason to move away from a core point by over discussing the specific example of it offered. Examples are offered to highlight a point not distract from it - and when we discuss the example rather than the point - then the point is missed.

The main point on the topic of _this_ thread is the one of expecting offense and ignorance so much that one is inclined to find it even when it is not there - just like people who really believe Friday 13th will be an unlucky day will find a way to make it happen and be unlucky.

That such offense and ignorance exists and finds it's way into this forum is not in question and all the points many users have made on this thread in relation to that is on the money. But if our reaction to that unfortunate set of facts has us swing too far in the other direction then that is just as bad.

The best tool we have alas is to use the report function and work with the moderators to shut down extreme levels of ignorance offense and trolling when it arises. But so too perhaps should we be using it when users are destroying threads with extreme levels of overreaction to offense - whether the offense in question is actually even there or not in the first place at all.

And if one or two users in the entire group find that their own posts lead more often than not to infractions and thread locks then some level of introspection as to the common denominator of those experiences - them themselves - is certainly to be recommended. Especially if there is truth in any claims they make about genuinely caring about this forum and this community.

Manion

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

Utter nonsense. It's a way of making important distinctions in nuanced discussions. Not many people like labels applied to their identity - for example: I despise having to identify as trans - but sometimes it's a necessity in life. I'd rather be cis to be honest. And you're certainly not a victim here.

There is nothing nuanced in accusing me of painting myself a victim. Some people do use the words in a non pejorative way while others clearly intend to insult.

JackTaylorFan

Deleted User wrote: »

The main point on the topic of _this_ thread is the one of expecting offense and ignorance so much that one is inclined to find it even when it is not there - just like people who really believe Friday 13th will be an unlucky day will find a way to make it happen and be unlucky.

Firstly: wrong. The main point on the topic of this thread is non-LGBT folk hijacking threads and insulting people in the community with their inherent homophobic/transphobic/biphobic attitudes.

And stop using the it's all in your mind "Friday the 13th" argument. Transphobic attitudes on these forums is rampant.

Deleted User wrote: »

And if one or two users in the entire group find that their own posts lead more often than not to infractions and thread locks then some level of introspection as to the common denominator of those experiences - them themselves - is certainly to be recommended. Especially if there is truth in any claims they make about genuinely caring about this forum and this community.

I am to infer, that I am the common denominator here, yes? Because I speak out about trans issues that actually affect my life rather than toe the line for the sake of harmonious discourse? Well, so be it then, because I am sure as hell not interested in discussing where I can buy a pair of fake boobs with a smile on my face.

JackTaylorFan

Manion wrote: »

There is nothing nuanced in accusing me of painting myself a victim. Some people do use the words in a non pejorative way while others clearly intend to insult.

Uh-huh... I'm not painting you as a victim - you are. Most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You do realise most homosexual men are cis too, right?

Manion

I think you didn't read what I said.

JackTaylorFan

Manion wrote: »

When I see words like cis and hetro and the context in which they are used at times, it's disheartening. You can almost sense the vitriol in it. Often it appears to be from the people who are the biggest advocates for self determination. It's somewhat ironic then attempting to pigeonhole others into a gender and a sexuality.

Manion wrote: »

I think you didn't read what I said.

Yeah, I did.

Loud. And . Clear.

You must have missed the words "at", "times" and "context".

JackTaylorFan

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

Firstly: wrong. The main point on the topic of this thread is non-LGBT folk hijacking threads and insulting people in the community with their inherent homophobic/transphobic/biphobic attitudes.

And stop using the it's all in your mind "Friday the 13th" argument. Transphobic attitudes on these forums is rampant.

I am to infer, that I am the common denominator here, yes? Because I speak out about trans issues that actually affect my life rather than toe the line for the sake of harmonious discourse? Well, so be it then, because I am sure as hell not interested in discussing where I can buy a pair of fake boobs with a smile on my face.

I think I will worry about choosing my arguments if that is ok with you - you do not get to dictate which ones I stop or keep using. The point of the Friday 13th argument is simple enough. So I can repeat the same point without the F13 example too - People who really really expect to find something - generally find a way to fulfill that expectation - even when it is not actually there.

So yes my point is on topic despite your pretense to the contrary.

But no - no one here is suggesting you not "speak out about trans issues that actually affect my life". Quite the opposite - we would benefit from more people doing it - and people who are already doing it doing it more. Yourself included. So my point is the !exact! opposite of what you suspect.

The common denominator comment was more directed not at the act of speaking about it - but the methods by which some people do so. Which I trust you will notice is a much different point for me to be making. If a person speaking out about it finds themselves locked down and infracted - when other people speaking out about it do not - then that person at some point should have a "It is not them - it is me" moment.

The existence of the insult and offense you perceive is real. No one is arguing with you on that. Rather the point is what happens when that reality forces one to go too far the other direction - and become so hyper sensitive to it that they rage out of control when it actually happens - and even rage when they have only imagined it happening.

And I think we as the user base - while helping the moderators through use of the report function - should be sensitive to both sides of it. Users trolling and pedaling bigotry - as well as users over reacting to it when it is there _and_ when it is not.

JackTaylorFan

Deleted User wrote: »

I think I will worry about choosing my arguments if that is ok with you - you do not get to dictate which ones I stop or keep using. The point of the Friday 13th argument is simple enough. So I can repeat the same point without the F13 example too - People who really really expect to find something - generally find a way to fulfill that expectation - even when it is not actually there.

So yes my point is on topic despite your pretense to the contrary.

But no - no one here is suggesting you not "speak out about trans issues that actually affect my life". Quite the opposite - we would benefit from more people doing it - and people who are already doing it doing it more. Yourself included. So my point is the !exact! opposite of what you suspect.

The common denominator comment was more directed not at the act of speaking about it - but the methods by which some people do so. Which I trust you will notice is a much different point for me to be making. If a person speaking out about it finds themselves locked down and infracted - when other people speaking out about it do not - then that person at some point should have a "It is not them - it is me" moment.

The existence of the insult and offense you perceive is real. No one is arguing with you on that. Rather the point is what happens when that reality forces one to go too far the other direction - and become so hyper sensitive to it that they rage out of control when it actually happens - and even rage when they have only imagined it happening.

And I think we as the user base - while helping the moderators through use of the report function - should be sensitive to both sides of it. Users trolling and pedaling bigotry - as well as users over reacting to it when it is there _and_ when it is not.

Your FXIII analogy mitigates a whole host of abuses... but carry on...

JackTaylorFan

Deleted User wrote: »

The common denominator comment was more directed not at the act of speaking about it - but the methods by which some people do so. Which I trust you will notice is a much different point for me to be making. If a person speaking out about it finds themselves locked down and infracted - when other people speaking out about it do not - then that person at some point should have a "It is not them - it is me" moment.
.

Thing is, no other trans people really speak about anything on here.

And the other thread alluded to on here - about homophobic comments in the workplace - that was shutdown in a very similar manner as mine have been.

I suggest the common denominator is this:

Straight cis men getting a bee in their bonnets as soon a LGBT+ person speaks out against moments of homophbia, transphobia, biphobia, etc. Like we are encroaching on their freedom to say whatever the hell they want, and damn the consequences.