Happy Don't Hug Your Children Season! (PC gone mad thread)

Harry Palmr

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/girl-scouts-force-kids-hug-relatives-holiday-season/story?id=51275036

Girl Scouts of the USA issued a warning to parents this holiday season, asking them to think twice before forcing their daughters to hug relatives at gatherings.

“Think of it this way, telling your child that she owes someone a hug either just because she hasn’t seen this person in a while or because they gave her a gift can set the stage for her questioning whether she ‘owes’ another person any type of physical affection when they have bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life,” reads the post on the Girl Scouts’ website.

The Girl Scouts' post encourages parents to offer their daughters ways to show gratitude that do not require physical contact, including "a smile, a high-five, or even an air kiss."

Words fail me. The fever pitch of hysteria has surely peaked when children are telling parents not to hug them lest it be interpreted as the wrong kind of hug.

Every child should have an awkward hug - it's preparation for life! :pac:

angryIreGamer

Harry Palmr wrote: »

Every child should have an awkward hug - it's preparation for life! :pac:

we have very different lives.

fatknacker

Lots of people are uncomfortable with hugs. Forcing your kids to hug someone they don't want to is surely a bit of a strange practice?

_Kaiser_

Harry Palmr wrote: »

The Girl Scouts' post encourages parents to offer their daughters ways to show gratitude that do not require physical contact, including "a smile, a high-five, or even an air kiss."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvLHliGCcGU

The future is getting closer! :rolleyes:

Harry Palmr

Harry Palmr wrote: »

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/girl-scouts-force-kids-hug-relatives-holiday-season/story?id=51275036





Words fail me. The fever pitch of hysteria has surely peaked when children are telling parents not to hug them lest it be interpreted as the wrong kind of hug.

Every child should have an awkward hug - it's preparation for life! :pac:

Is Una Mullally/LON the head of the the Girl Scouts?

cantdecide

fatknacker wrote: »

Lots of people are uncomfortable with hugs. Forcing your kids to hug someone they don't want to is surely a bit of a strange practice?

Think of those dreaded words 'Give your Grandma a hug'.

- Child's thoughts: 'Ah ffs'

- Grandma's thoughts: 'Ah ffs'.

No one's winning here. I think we should ban all hugs. No good ever came of it, I tell you.

PeterParker957

Luca Loose Conductor wrote: »

Harry Palmr wrote: »

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/girl-scouts-force-kids-hug-relatives-holiday-season/story?id=51275036





Words fail me. The fever pitch of hysteria has surely peaked when children are telling parents not to hug them lest it be interpreted as the wrong kind of hug.

Every child should have an awkward hug - it's preparation for life! :pac:

Is Una Mullally/LON the head of the the Girl Scouts?

Yes.

OnDraught

I was born in the 80’s. It wasn’t until the late 90’s early 00’s that this hugging nonsense started. I don’t hug my parents, aunts etc... never have never will. My friends and wife’s family think I should hug them every time I see them. Load of bollox that needs to be stamped out.

I know it seems a bit too far, but I remember as a child that my gran would tell me to give a particular distant relative a hug and a kiss goodbye, and I hated doing it. There was something about this person that made me very uncomfortable and I didn't like them one bit. Being forced to let them put their hands and lips on me made me feel very powerless, because I couldn't explain how I felt, or why I felt it.

If I have kids, I won't be instructing them to kiss or hug anyone but they can go right ahead of their own volition if they want to.

I think it's okay to mention that kids shouldn't be forced to have physical contact with someone, and that there are alternatives.

Luca Loose Conductor

Luca Loose Conductor wrote: »

Why's there nothing about sons in this.....Cue shrieking of them saying "think of the patriarchy"

Because it's the Girl Guides, not the Boy Scouts.

DavyD_83

Harry Palmr wrote: »

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/girl-scouts-force-kids-hug-relatives-holiday-season/story?id=51275036





Words fail me. The fever pitch of hysteria has surely peaked when children are telling parents not to hug them lest it be interpreted as the wrong kind of hug.

Every child should have an awkward hug - it's preparation for life! :pac:

I'm definitely not agreeing with the extracts you posted, but what you have then written in response does not seem to be related at all. (I haven't read full article, so possibly there is more in there)

The article doesn't say that the hug would be misinterpreted, or that parents shouldn't hug their kids. It seems like the focus is entirely on not forcing kids to hug people.

The implication is that hugs, are the 'gateway physical interaction' to abuse; which does seem a bit mad. Surely that could be applied to any contact or gesture of gratitude?

tomwaterford

Hope this applies to hugging drunk people over Xmas too


Nothing more annoying than people pulling and tearing out of you on nights out because they haven't seen ya in years

BaaRamEwe

Harry Palmr wrote: »

Words fail me. The fever pitch of hysteria has surely peaked when children are telling parents not to hug them lest it be interpreted as the wrong kind of hug.

There's nothing in this about the 'wrong kind of hug'. The hugs are normal hugs but the message is don't force your kids into giving these if they don't want to.

Harry Palmr

Candie wrote: »

Because it's the Girl Guides, not the Boy Scouts.

I doubt the Boy Scouts would be allowed to issue such a high handed preachy message, and if they did they'd get mocked such are the double standards.

Triceratops Ballet

Harry Palmr wrote: »

I doubt the Boy Scouts would be allowed to issue such a high handed preachy message, and if they did they'd get mocked such are the double standards.

As opposed to the girls scouts who are certainly not being mocked at all! :rolleyes:

Harry Palmr

Harry Palmr wrote: »

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/girl-scouts-force-kids-hug-relatives-holiday-season/story?id=51275036





Words fail me. The fever pitch of hysteria has surely peaked when children are telling parents not to hug them lest it be interpreted as the wrong kind of hug.

Every child should have an awkward hug - it's preparation for life! :pac:

How is that children telling parents not to hug them. Surely, from what you've quoted in your post, that's children telling parents not to force them to hug more distant relatives.

I don't really see a problem with that. I've been at gatherings where children have been passed around to everyone there to give them a kiss goodbye before leaving. I find it weird tbh. I would have hated that as a child.

What's so wrong with a child (male or female) deciding themselves how they want to say hello or goodbye or thanks or anything else. Even a toddler can make that choice. When my partner's little nephew sees me sometimes he gives me a hug, sometimes a shy wave, sometimes he screams my name in delight. No one has to force him to do anything, he chooses his own greeting based on his own mood, just like the rest of us.

DivingDuck

These two things are not the same.

Forcing your child into physical contact with an adult they plainly don't want to touch is awful, but there's a big gap between not forcing your kids to hug distant relatives and deliberately withholding physical affection as a parent in case it might make a child uncomfortable. Conflating the two isn't helpful at all.

Malayalam

Ah, the good old days, when a whiskery old aunt half cut on sherry would slip the wee grand-nephew the tongue*... innocent times.


* true story

PeterParker957

Malayalam wrote: »

Ah, the good old days, when a whiskery old aunt half cut on sherry would slip the wee grand-nephew the tongue*... innocent times.


* true story

Whatever gets us in the will man!!!!

valoren

encourages parents to offer their daughters ways to show gratitude that do not require physical contact e.g. a high five

:rolleyes:

Rubberchikken

I never encouraged my kids to hug someone if they didn't want to.
I realise some elderly people and even younger love hugging kids but teaching kids that they're allowed personal space and control over who enters it is am important lesson imho.

sunshine and showers

Not forcing your child to hug people they don't want to is PC gone mad?

Further proof that people have no idea what "PC gone mad" means.

Ulysses Gaze

valoren wrote: »

encourages parents to offer their daughters ways to show gratitude that do not require physical contact e.g. a high five

:rolleyes:

How about the Self High Five as pioneered by Diamond Dallas Page?

Lorelli!

Do you not remember Bill's granny when they went to hell in Bill and Ted OP?

ceadaoin.

This isn't PC gone mad, they aren't saying you can't hug your child are they? it's about not forcing kids to give physical affection against their will. This has been the advice of the nspcc for example for a long time..

No means no and you always have the right to say 'no' – even to a family member or someone you love. You're in control of your body and the most important thing is how YOU feel.

Why do you have a problem with this?

Outlaw Pete

What I remember is older females saying they were going to take me home with them and then laughing. Seemed to make everyone laugh but I'd not have a clue what they were on about. "You wouldn't mind coming to live with me, would ya?" Then I'd be close to tears so would be told "Don't mind her, she's only messing with you". Weirdos.

keith_sixteen

tomwaterford wrote: »

Hope this applies to hugging drunk people over Xmas too


Nothing more annoying than people pulling and tearing out of you on nights out because they haven't seen ya in years

AH JAYSIS TOM!

*HUGS AND SLAPS THE SHIT OUT OF YER BACK

El Weirdo

Harry Palmr wrote: »

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/girl-scouts-force-kids-hug-relatives-holiday-season/story?id=51275036

Words fail me. The fever pitch of hysteria has surely peaked when children are telling parents not to hug them lest it be interpreted as the wrong kind of hug.

Did you even read the article you posted?

I think there'd be far less outrage in the world if people worked on their reading comprehension.

suicide_circus

#meeeeeetoo

DEFTLEFTHAND

What's with this Holiday Season nonsense?

It's called Christmas. You got a problem with Pagans and Christians then don't celebrate it.

Prune Tracy

Some of the language is a bit weird - this talk of owing physical favours feels like hugging is being equated with sexual intimacy.

But aside from that, I see the point. Children often really hate having to kiss/hug adults yet the adults think it's a lovely, cute, adorable bit of entertainment. But some children like being physically affectionate so I'd hope there wouldn't be a message to them that it's not ok.

nozzferrahhtoo

Harry Palmr wrote: »

Words fail me. The fever pitch of hysteria has surely peaked when children are telling parents not to hug them lest it be interpreted as the wrong kind of hug.

Perhaps my reading comprehension if failing me here but could you help me out? Where in the text you quoted does it say anything about "children telling parents not to hug them"?

The "telling" part seemed to be done by the "Girl Scouts" association.

And the people they were talking about hugging was other "relatives" not the parents themselves.

Which seems very different to what/how you described. I fear you are exaggerating what they are saying (and why they say it) in order to have something to get upset over.

andekwarhola

Up to my kids really. I think it's cool that they're boys and are not inhibited about physical affection and if they want to hug somebody they know, they can. If they don't, I don't make them.

Simple enough really.

I'd like them to grow up being affectionate people but with an idea of their own space albeit without being overly strident My Personal Space merchants.

wakka12

Can be damn sure Im going to make my daughter hug a bloody relative after they buy her a nice gift
What is this comparison to future dating and sex that is so needless in such an innocent scenario
When she's old enough shell be told all about bodily autonomy and everything else they're talking about . But for now, just be polite and give your relative a nice hug for buying a gift, Im sure they'll appreciate it

iamwhoiam

wakka12 wrote: »

Can be damn sure Im going to make my daughter hug a bloody relative after they buy her a nice gift
What is this comparison to future dating and sex that is so needless in such an innocent scenario
When she's old enough shell be told all about bodily autonomy and everything else they're talking about . But for now, just be polite and give your relative a nice hug for buying a gift, Im sure they'll appreciate it

What is wrong with teaching a child to say a nice Thank you and a smile ? My are all grown up now and even way back then I would never force them to hug anyone ? They did hug who they were comfortable with of course but why should they hug a distant relative who calls in and they dont really know them at all ?
My grandchild is a toddler and so far I have never seen anyone force her to hug anyone either .? They make sure she says Thank you and if she likes she will hug but no pressure to at all . In fact I doubt very much anyone they know would ask to be hugged anyway .

Cee-Jay-Cee

Harry Palmr wrote: »

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/girl-scouts-force-kids-hug-relatives-holiday-season/story?id=51275036





Words fail me. The fever pitch of hysteria has surely peaked when children are telling parents not to hug them lest it be interpreted as the wrong kind of hug.

Every child should have an awkward hug - it's preparation for life! :pac:

I would never force my children to hug anyone, if they don't want to hug someone then that's fine, its no big deal and anyone left annoyed or put out by it can take it up with me.

wakka12

iamwhoiam wrote: »

What is wrong with teaching a child to say a nice Thank you and a smile ? My are all grown up now and even way back then I would never force them to hug anyone ? They did hug who they were comfortable with of course but why should they hug a distant relative who calls in and they dont really know them at all ?
My grandchild is a toddler and so far I have never seen anyone force her to hug anyone either .? They make sure she says Thank you and if she likes she will hug but no pressure to at all . In fact I doubt very much anyone they know would ask to be hugged anyway .

Well you're right really,when I say force to hug, I mean Id tell them to hug them. And if they said no Id say don't be silly give them a hug.If she still doesnt want to then theres not much you can do really..bar physically making them and by that stage I think its kind of ruined the gesture haha

DivingDuck

wakka12 wrote: »

Well you're right really,when I say force to hug, I mean Id tell them to hug them. And if they said no Id say don't be silly give them a hug.

Why would you tell the child they were being silly for not wanting to hug someone they didn't want to hug? Why would you tell them to hug someone in the first place?

Most kids are pretty free with their affection when they feel safe and comfortable. If they don't, do you really think instructing them to go against their feelings and telling them those feelings are silly will foster actual trust or safety or a desire to hug anyone?

wakka12

wakka12 wrote: »

Can be damn sure Im going to make my daughter hug a bloody relative after they buy her a nice gift
What is this comparison to future dating and sex that is so needless in such an innocent scenario
When she's old enough shell be told all about bodily autonomy and everything else they're talking about . But for now, just be polite and give your relative a nice hug for buying a gift, Im sure they'll appreciate it

My gran used to make me hug a relative that I didn't like and was uncomfortable with. If I said I didn't want to she told me I was silly. So basically I was forced to kiss someone I didn't want near me, and I was told my feelings were silly and that I had to do as I was told. I HATED it, and I've never forgotten it. I couldn't explain how I felt because I was little, but I know I felt like I was being compelled against my will to show affection to someone I didn't want touching me.

It's perfectly polite to tell them to say thank you for the gift, it's much appreciated. It's just unnecessary to force them to be affectionate to people in return for a gift.

cantdecide

If all four grandparents survive and a small child is happy to hug and kiss three but that fourth one is a bit icky looking, the child is forced to confront the first diplomatic decision - kisses and hugs for all, kisses and hugs for none or kisses and hugs a la carte.

This isn't a big deal. No child was warped by doing something mildly unpleasant. There is learning and an exchange of trust, family values and other values. It's not like the adult is deriving some nefarious gratification - it's usually awkward for all but why does the adult do it - because it's the right thing to do. It's not like the child will grow up to be a stronger adult if they're indulged. We all had to do that kind of thing - it's part of growing up in family.