I think my boyfriend used to sleep with escorts and I'm considering breaking up with

lifeandtimes

GingerLily wrote: »

The OP has implied he's done a lot more then one sneaky web search, it sounds like he was either using escorts or obsessed with looking them up, both are red flags.

What's a red flag is op didn't just do a sneaky history search, she delved into 18+ months of his internet history.

It sounds like she's either got trust issues or is obsseseeed with knowing everything her partner did before they were together.

Either way of say op needs to end the relationship as she doesn't know if he did or didn't use escorts but thinks he may have which is her deal breaker and also for her bfs sake as nothing worse than having a partner who doesn't trust you and goes through your entire history without you permission

bucketybuck

lifeandtimes wrote: »

What's a red flag is op didn't just do a sneaky history search, she delved into 18+ months of his internet history.

I was looking through my browser history at work the other day, for a random reason unconnected to the actual websites visited. It was google chrome and I was just scrolling back through the history chronologically.

It takes ages! Every site you visit is listed with the date and time to the very minute that you went to the URL. I went back a few months and then gave up, I got got tired of scrolling and can't imagine how long it would take to go back 18 months.

Randomly going back through 18 months of browser history takes some serious motivation!

26going80

Op, I completely disagree with your moral stand point and what you did, investigating some body else past.. but a deal breaker is a deal breaker, if that truly is a deal-breaker then in my experience alot of guys I've chatted to, that have talked about the escort site have used the service.
But some are great guys in loving relationships now for years and would never cheat and/or use the service again... so I believe more then likely if he went to that amount of trouble to look up addresses he probably has went to them addresses... I would say for both of yer sakes you soulld cut off the relationship..
I understand why people are saying that he sould dump you... I would, because that would be a deal breaker for me, what you did...
But it is obviously not a deal breaker for your boyfriend... so again if I were you I'd break it off and let ye both go yer own way

MartyMcFly84

Really dont see what the big deal is.

What ever two consenting adults do in their own time is their business. He was not in a relationship at the time so it;s not like he cheated on anyone.

There are lots of horror stories around the sex industry. But these tiny % of what actually happens. Really if the industry was legalised it would be a benefit to everyone and would largely remove any criminal element.

The vast majority of sex workers ply their trade because they choose to and get paid well for it.

benny79

Agree with the above I lived in OZ were it is legal (and its also legal in a lot of other countries I personally think it should be everywhere) and people dont even batter an eyelid.. Put it this way I prefer someone to use them than to go out and rape a woman.. Man have needs just as much as woman.. Most woman whether its seen as sexist or not can go out and grab a man for a one nightstand same can't be said for a man less he's a hunk of Junk.

Its the oldest trade in the world and rest assure some woman in the industry earn serious money.. obviously there's a bad side but that would happen to most industries not regulated. I personally have never felt the need but I have often gone on the website read the reviews etc.. Trust me most blokes have still means nothing..
Like others said Id have more of an issue of you snooping 18 months ago thats just wrong on so many levels!

I took drugs in my 20's I never would now though am I a bad person? I'll like to think not! am I a druggie definitely not..

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

OP I'd love to see your idea of snooping a lot. The effort of going back that far through browser history as pointed out above, the fact that you know the precise date his previous relationship ended and cross referenced that with his browsing, holy God.

Using escorts would be a deal breaker for me too. But him being on those sites doesn't automatically mean he did. Did he know why you were asking him and how you came across the info?

You're entitled to any dealbreaker, you don't need to justify yourself on that count. But really seriously the biggest issue here is your massive invasion of his privacy, and the fact that you dem to write it off as a cutesy little lolsy snoopsy whoopsie. It's not healthy.

ShaShaBear

I'm married a year with two kids and am female. Go 3 months back in my browser history and you'll find all sorts of intricate Google searches and websites visited for Sugar Dating. My best friend and I simply had to know what kind of money people were getting, what kinds of things they were expected to do, were there any perks, trawled through pages of adverts from Sugar Daddies to see if any of them were good-looking, sent each other links of ones we would happily be seen with... we had hours of fun with it!

But I would never have a financial agreement with any man for the exchange of any kind of relationship. My husband spotted the history the next morning trying to find a football article he had been looking at. Laughed out loud and asked me if any of them were offering anything good, and I even showed him pictures of some of the men!

The only real issue here is your obsessive need to prove some sort of lack of trust.

ittakestwo

Keyzer wrote: »

If I were him I'd be seriously considering ending the relationship.

Agree with above. OP obviously anyone can feel anyway to a situation without justification but to look at this situation from neutral piont of view.


Anyone seeing an escort when single = no crime

Snooping on partners Internet history = crime


He is the one who has the case to be dumping you IMHO.

OnDraught

ittakestwo wrote: »

Anyone seeing an escort when single = no crime

Snooping on partners Internet history = crime


He is the one who has the case to be dumping you IMHO.

Other than the fact that paying for sex is a crime and looking at your fellas internet history is in fact not a crime.

ittakestwo

OnDraught wrote: »

Other than the fact that paying for sex is a crime and looking at your fellas internet history is in fact not a crime.

Oh I see that paying for sex was only made illegal last February. Well if this guy did it over a year ago it was not illegal. Anyway I was referring to relationship crime not actual crime. She is the one who deserves to get dumped.

Big Bag of Chips

It has been almost a week since OP opened the thread and has not returned in that time, so I will lock the thread for now.

MilanaWinters, if you would like the thread reopened to contribute to it please contact one of the PI Moderators.