Sex on first date. Sign they don't see you as BF material?

leggo

racso1975 wrote: »

Lads I have to laugh at the hypocrisy here!!! If a woman came on asking the same question how many of ye would question her performance in the bed as being a reason? Yet it's OK to ask a fella after he already said its fine.

Men don't tend to discuss or value partners based on quality of performance in bed, it's not a thing I've personally heard of a guy finishing a relationship over (now frequency of sex is another story). Whereas with women I'd often hear it discussed as a determining factor. I don't think there's any form of sexism at play, it's just people using what they know about society today to pinpoint possible reasons (since the OP doesn't have any specifics, hence the thread).

While I wouldn't say that means women are 'better' in bed than men, perhaps it's because it's more difficult to bring a woman to climax whereas mostly all men need is a warm and willing body, which I would guess (off the top of my head) is what leads to the distinction. We could discuss that all day I'm sure, but it'd be way off-topic.

ShaShaBear

I would argue that if it's online dating, then it's probably more the type of women. I had sex with my husband about 20 minutes into the first date. In fact, the first date ended up being sex and a late night takeaway because we missed our meal :rolleyes: Together 6 years, married 1 and have two kids.

I can definitely say that I would make a decision on the chemistry/spark in such an intimate encounter, and if it wasn't there, I might not continue to see someone. Maybe a date or two, to see if it develops, but that would be it.

Neon_Lights

racso1975 wrote: »

Lads I have to laugh at the hypocrisy here!!! If a woman came on asking the same question how many of ye would question her performance in the bed as being a reason? Yet it's OK to ask a fella after he already said its fine.

Lol ah to be fair it's easy for a lad to get off in most Fanny's to be fair. Blow our load were fine even though the sex might not be great.

A lot of Irish girls I find are terrible in bed due to awkwardness, shyness, insecurity. They just overthink and don't let go or be in the moment. But that chemistry can be worked on over time, I don't think it's necessarily a dealbreaker for a guy, and somewhat ironically I think we're less objectifying when we're into the girl.

Aspadeaspade

A lot of Irish girls I find are terrible in bed due to awkwardness, shyness, insecurity. They just overthink and don't let go or be in the moment. But that chemistry can be worked on over time, I don't think it's necessarily a dealbreaker for a guy, and somewhat ironically I think we're less objectifying when we're into the girl.[/quote]

Lol I've always said this about Irish men! there is no passion, no risk (apart from not using a rubber :P ) no sense of adventure.. it must be us as a nation so but in fairness I think it's changing for the better in this regard !

Neon_Lights

Please give examples of how a starfish views:

• passion
• risk (apart from not using a rubber :P )
• sense of adventure...

Icepick

leggo wrote: »

Men don't tend to discuss or value partners based on quality of performance in bed, it's not a thing I've personally heard of a guy finishing a relationship over (now frequency of sex is another story). Whereas with women I'd often hear it discussed as a determining factor. I don't think there's any form of sexism at play, it's just people using what they know about society today to pinpoint possible reasons (since the OP doesn't have any specifics, hence the thread).

I disagree. Passive women who cannot (don't want to) tell you what turns them on are worse than a good ****.
On the other hand, erectile dysfunction being the only or even main problem in bed is way overrated. A lot of women cannot even come using your penis (alone) anyway.

Tokyo

Mod: Okay, the thread is turning into a debate amongst posters, rather than direct advice to the OP, which is the purpose of PI/RI. Please keep your responses on topic and directed towards the poster's issue.