Now Ye're Talking - to an adult diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Wanderer78

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA wrote: »

congrats on your diagnosis:) here are some pointers:

-take one day at a time, getting a diagnosis can be a shock and can take time to get your head around
-research yourself on the condition, for the first 6 months of being diagnosed i poured myself into reading all I could on AS
-the subject of whether or not to tell people about the diagnosis is a personal one and up to you and family but it can make life easier if you do (for appointments etc)

thank you

my diagnoses wasnt that shocking to be honest, as ive suspected for some time now, the only surprise was the add diagnoses, i really didnt see it at all as im also dyslexic, and i suspect the issues add brings can be similar to dyslexia.

any pointers on where to begin my research, bearing in mind my 'lazy'(dyslexia) attribute?

ive been fairly open about my fairly recent dyslexia diagnoses, and im slowly opening more about this diagnoses to, as i get use to it. i would agree with you on this point, it does make life easier for all concerned if more open about it.

thank you very much for accepting to take part in this, as i think it will be very helpful to all, and best of luck.

Francie Barrett

Were there any moments in your early life that were traumatic because of your ASD, and do you think earlier intervention would have improved your quality of life?

PGE1970

Thank you for your insight into this area and I sincerely wish you well.

My question - who did you go to and what was involved in the process of diagnosis.

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

m'lady wrote: »

Hi Op, I firstly would like to say thank you for doing this, I have such an interest in ASD and have worked with people with it (along with many other things) but I won't pretend to know a lot about it!

I would like to ask you, what is the main issue, if any you feel you have come up against in society?
Also you mentioned you are in a relationship- how soon after meeting that person did you tell them you had ASD? (I apologise If that's too personal and you don't wish to answer).
Thanks again

Hi there thanks for your questions and thank you very much

I guess the main issue I've come up against is the lack of awareness/understanding of the condition but that is improving as time goes on

he knew already when we met (I met him at a place for people with ASD so I didn't have to tell him which was handy), the first chat we had about ASD was a few weeks later after we met

Thanks again

Also thanks to the mods for updating the thread title

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

mahamageehad wrote: »

Do you think mainstream media sometimes romanticizes Aspergers? I'm thinking of the TV shows/movies where a character is emotionally shut off but a genius and he/she eventually saves the day. We rarely hear about the people in the middles, just those on the top and end of the spectrum. If so, you you feel it puts more pressure on you to fill that "genius" role? Do you see characters like that as role models or a hindrance or neither?

Hi there, thanks for your questions

In general no I don't think so, most of the movies/documentaries/TV shoes that I've seen tend to be realistic, although I do agree with you that we rarely hear about the people in the middle and I'd love to hear more about them/see more about them etc

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

You mention meeting your boyfriend at a place for people with ASD, do you find it easier socialising with other people on the spectrum? Like do you find them easier/harder to read than the general population, or are there any other differences?

When you started the diagnosis process, did you suspect you might have AS or was it just a general sense of difference? Did the diagnosis affect your self image? Some people I know who've been diagnosed with physical or mental conditions have difficulty with that, for example they'd find it very hard and unpleasant to describe themselves out loud as being "disabled" "schizophrenic" etc.

Have you seen Harmontown or are you a Dan Harmon fan in general? AFAIK he's not on the spectrum himself but he seems to have a large fan base who are.

Do you think growing up with ASD might be more difficult in Ireland, seeing as nobody says what they mean or asks direct questions?

Edit: thanks for doing this, it's really interesting!

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

Goat the dote wrote: »

Hi there,
I reckon I have undiagnosed ASD, for several reasons, and my son also has diagnosed asd,ADHD and odd.
Do you feel "vindicated"/liberated by the diagnosis. As in, do you feel it explains a lot about yourself?

Hi there thanks for your questions

To answer your questions yes very much so, it perplexed me for years about why I was different to other people and getting a diagnosis that had a name was very liberating, it explained so much

Boler

Hi OP,

My son has Asperger's, he is 8 years old and we're are unsure of when to tell him. Although you mentioned you were diagnosed when you were 15, did you know something was different when you were younger?

Thanks.

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

ELM327 wrote: »

Thanks for doing this AMA. As an adult with high functioning Asberger's and social anxiety (amongst other anxieties) it's great to see more visibility given to this topic.




It's a really good drama series, it portrays very well (imo) the difficulties endured by those of us "on the spectrum", although the character is at the more extreme end of the spectrum to myself. There was also a great program on RTE the other night - might still be on the player - showing a few young adults. I'll admit that I was in tears watching it and am tearing up now thinking of it. One of the other traits I have is a complete lack of empathy unless I relate to the situation - if that happens I get a feeling of complete overpowering.

My question is I suppose a general one, how do you deal with people who you need to deal with professionally, if at the time you don't feel up to /comfortable with discussing ASD? I work in an area where some of clients would be of an older generation and I don't necessrily want to explain my ASD to them but it's difficult sometimes if a meeting is in a loud busy coffee shop for instance.

I'm lucky that -when not off site - my team is very accommodating and are aware of my quirks and in particular, missed social cues and lack of intonation. I'm also lucky to have a partner who is very understanding and has helped me greatly on my journey.

Thanks again for doing this AMA , and best of luck for the future.

Hi there, thanks for your question

I look forward to seeing it, when I eventually do

I saw that programme as well too, very interesting I found

That's a difficult situation, when meeting professionals a family member comes with me if I need help understand questions, clarifying medical details and so on, but if I am uncomfortable with it/don't feel up to it I ask the family member to act as my 'spokesperson' for me and they answer the question, or if it's a question that I can only answer I either answer that I don't know or I write my answer. I do find meeting with professionals nerve wrecking in general which is why my family member sometimes acts as a 'spokesperson' but it's quite rare for me not to feel up to it as over the years (I'm 28 now) I've become used to discussing it

Thanks again

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

HairyCabbage wrote: »

What do you mean by long-term service? I am diagnosed with dyspraxia and highly suspect that I have undiagnosed ADHD and ASD though there is a lot of overlap in symptoms between all 3 so who knows!

Hi there thanks for asking your question

It's quite difficult to explain as it's not school/college/work etc but it's where a person comes into a centre (only in certain locations as far as I'm aware) and the person stays there for a few years (or however they want to stay) and the staff develop a 'programme' of events/activities etc based on the person's interests. It's a bit like a day centre but for life, Backstory to this was when we discovered work wasn't suitable for me (during a work placement in college) by me making a mistake and having a panic attack in the back office we started looking for 'alternative' places for my future (this was about a year before I left college) and we found one that suited me. Sorry I can't be more specific

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

Wanderer78 wrote: »

thank you

my diagnoses wasnt that shocking to be honest, as ive suspected for some time now, the only surprise was the add diagnoses, i really didnt see it at all as im also dyslexic, and i suspect the issues add brings can be similar to dyslexia.

any pointers on where to begin my research, bearing in mind my 'lazy'(dyslexia) attribute?

ive been fairly open about my fairly recent dyslexia diagnoses, and im slowly opening more about this diagnoses to, as i get use to it. i would agree with you on this point, it does make life easier for all concerned if more open about it.

thank you very much for accepting to take part in this, as i think it will be very helpful to all, and best of luck.

Hi there thanks for your question

Would you consider listening to audiobooks?

Thanks very much:)

Wanderer78

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA wrote: »

Hi there thanks for your question

Would you consider listening to audiobooks?

Thanks very much:)

ive tried audiobooks but they just dont seem to flow for me at all, but i think i will try them again. i much prefer to listen to interviews,podcasts, debates etc, i tend to learn a lot more from them

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

Francie Barrett wrote: »

Were there any moments in your early life that were traumatic because of your ASD, and do you think earlier intervention would have improved your quality of life?

Hi there thanks for asking your questions

no traumatic moments that come to mind, but because of my noise sensitivity when I was younger things were a lot scarier than usual. I'd say that earlier intervention might have helped improved things but happy that I got a diagnosis (in the end)

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

PGE1970 wrote: »

Thank you for your insight into this area and I sincerely wish you well.

My question - who did you go to and what was involved in the process of diagnosis.

Hi there, thanks for your questions and thank you very much:)

I think the diagnosis took a few weeks, I was quite lucky in that aspect as a speech therapist in my school I was in at the time noticed my traits of AS (there may have been an assessment with her beforehand but not sure on the details), but then the speech therapist rang my Mom who put her concerns to her, and a letter was sent from the school to the Dr in Dublin (it was Dr Fitzgerald) saying who I was and be assessed for Asperger's.

In the meantime my folks sat me down and talked to me about the appointment and that they thought I might have Asperger's. The actual appointment was a few weeks later, I left school early (yay!) and we drove to Dublin, when we got there it involved a lengthy interview with my folks and a short interview with me (I was in the waiting room getting very bored so I came into the room). The following Monday after my diagnosis in school I was moved classrooms to a special class for people with AS and the rest is history as they say!

Wanderer78

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA wrote: »

I think the diagnosis took a few weeks, I was quite lucky in that aspect as a speech therapist in my school I was in at the time noticed my traits of AS (there may have been an assessment with her beforehand but not sure on the details), but then the speech therapist rang my Mom who put her concerns to her, and a letter was sent from the school to the Dr in Dublin (it was Dr Fitzgerald) saying who I was and be assessed for Asperger's.

it was dr fitzgerald that diagnosed myself a couple of weeks ago, it took about 30 mins for the assessment, and i was 300 euro shorter after the fact

downwesht

Hi,thanks for your interesting replies.
Do you find peoples attitudes towards you change if you tell them you have ASD?
How do you see your employment potential if you make prospective employers aware of you diagnosis?
What do you see as the biggest challenge to you going forward?

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

Lena Hot Swordplay wrote: »

You mention meeting your boyfriend at a place for people with ASD, do you find it easier socialising with other people on the spectrum? Like do you find them easier/harder to read than the general population, or are there any other differences?

When you started the diagnosis process, did you suspect you might have AS or was it just a general sense of difference? Did the diagnosis affect your self image? Some people I know who've been diagnosed with physical or mental conditions have difficulty with that, for example they'd find it very hard and unpleasant to describe themselves out loud as being "disabled" "schizophrenic" etc.

Have you seen Harmontown or are you a Dan Harmon fan in general? AFAIK he's not on the spectrum himself but he seems to have a large fan base who are.

Do you think growing up with ASD might be more difficult in Ireland, seeing as nobody says what they mean or asks direct questions?

Edit: thanks for doing this, it's really interesting!

Hi there, thanks for your questions and thank you very much

In general, I find it easier socializing with other people on the spectrum, mostly because they're easier to read and we say exactly what we mean!

Regarding the diagnosis, I had no idea I had AS (I didn't know it was a thing), but had a strong sense that I was different which perplexed me for years before getting the diagnosis. Regarding self-image it most definitely did, in the beginning, after the diagnosis, I found it hard to say it and describe it, as it took a while to come to terms with it. These days though I say it with ease, and am proud I'm a bit different to other people:)

No never seen that, another one to add to my list

yeah, in general, it can be difficult sometimes, I do think that the awareness is more there now compared to a few years ago which does make it a bit easier

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

Boler wrote: »

Hi OP,

My son has Asperger's, he is 8 years old and we're are unsure of when to tell him. Although you mentioned you were diagnosed when you were 15, did you know something was different when you were younger?

Thanks.

Hi there, thanks for asking your question:)

Yes very much so, I had a strong sense that I was different, that perplexed me for years about why, until I got the diagnosis:)

Wanderer78 wrote: »

ive tried audiobooks but they just dont seem to flow for me at all, but i think i will try them again. i much prefer to listen to interviews,podcasts, debates etc, i tend to learn a lot more from them

cool, best of luck with it

myshirt

How many friends do you have?

How many of these would you describe as meaningful relationships?

How would you describe the progression of you receptive and expressive language skills? At what age could you meet all your own communication needs independently?

ancapailldorcha

Apologies if this has already been asked but what signs where you showing that got your parents to get your tested? Did you have to get a specialist to give or confirm a diagnosis?

4068ac1elhodqr

Have heard from a couple of places that diet can be a big factor, particularly modern wheats (gluten). Have you ever heard about this?

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

Wanderer78 wrote: »

it was dr fitzgerald that diagnosed myself a couple of weeks ago, it took about 30 mins for the assessment, and i was 300 euro shorter after the fact

Ahh Dr Fitzergerld, that was expensive, I don't know how much it cost us

tayto lover

Hi. Great AMA.

My little grandson is 8 years old and has autism. He is not into sport but loves playing computer games.
He loves the routine of school - hates the school holidays.
He didn't talk until he was nearly 4 and he's not good with strangers.

Were you like that and if so have you any thoughts around how he will change as he gets older please?

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

downwesht wrote: »

Hi,thanks for your interesting replies.
Do you find peoples attitudes towards you change if you tell them you have ASD?
How do you see your employment potential if you make prospective employers aware of you diagnosis?
What do you see as the biggest challenge to you going forward?

Hi there, thanks for your questions

sometimes yes, it kinda depends on the person, sometimes they might not see me as shy/difficult if I tell them, or a bit more intelligent, or sometimes they ask questions differently so i get them more easily, and some treat me the same so it very much depends on the person

I know now work isn't suitable for me, but when I did work placements and told them, they were glad of being told and tried to make it stress-free for me as they could

Biggest challenge going forward...I'll say moving apartments and getting a pet/settling down (which I hope to do down the line)

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

myshirt wrote: »

How many friends do you have?

How many of these would you describe as meaningful relationships?

How would you describe the progression of you receptive and expressive language skills? At what age could you meet all your own communication needs independently?

about 10 friends

I'd say they all are, known them a good few years now

my speech as a younger child was quite delayed, but once it came it came very quickly, we were away on a weekend in the uk when I was about 4 or 5 when my speech came. Up until that point I only had sounds and a few words. To further complicate matters at age 6 I was diagnosed with Selective Mutism (SM) so I went through all my school years being silent (but did talk to family members) so it wasn't 18 until I was able to talk to everyone without anxiety (which took a lot of hard work and trial and error). To answer your question it was probably 6 or 7 until I could on a selective basis

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Apologies if this has already been asked but what signs where you showing that got your parents to get your tested? Did you have to get a specialist to give or confirm a diagnosis?

hi there, thanks for your questions:)

in terms of signs I was very social withdrawal in myself, had no friends, was obsessing over things (at the time it was the soaps, as in Emmerdale, Corrie etc), I had lax joints (basically means my joints were looser than normal so I could bend my fingertips back and did the splits when I was younger), I was immature for my age and was extremely sensitive to sound, touch, taste..there's probably more but those are the top of my head

The story of my diagnosis is up there but yes we did, at the end of the appointment we had to ask if I had Asperger's to which he replied that i had

(I'm probably taking that question very literally!)

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

Sariah Modern Peekaboo wrote: »

Have heard from a couple of places that diet can be a big factor, particularly modern wheats (gluten). Have you ever heard about this?

Hi there, thanks for your question

I have indeed, it doesn't seem to be an issue for me, but can be for others with ASD. Was quite sick at the start of year and we suspected that I might have had an issue with lactose (dairy products), went off dairy for 5 months and had me tested but they came back negative so not an issue for me either

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA

tayto lover wrote: »

Hi. Great AMA.

My little grandson is 8 years old and has autism. He is not into sport but loves playing computer games.
He loves the routine of school - hates the school holidays.
He didn't talk until he was nearly 4 and he's not good with strangers.

Were you like that and if so have you any thoughts around how he will change as he gets older please?

Hi there thanks for your questions and thank you very much:)

yeah I was similar to that, only that I didn't really play computer games (never took an interest in it)

It's really impossible to tell how much he will change..I'm guessing he might get more intense traits as he gets older and mellow out as he grows into adulthood (which is common with adults with ASD) but there's no two ways of knowing. Sorry I can't be of more help there

Nokia6230i

Wanderer78 wrote: »

just been diagnosed with aspergers and add, any advice?

Wanderer, can I ask how old you are please? Going by 78 I'm guessing same age as me.

I was also diagnosed with A/S (we're "Aspies"!) and (Adult) ADHD quite belatedly (in 2014) when I was 36.

In case this derails the thread feel free to bring it to DM; would be intrigued to know who you're psychiatrist is/was, whether public/private, if on meds & what ones etc.

So. Many. Questions!

Calhoun

I'm an adult with ASD, AMA wrote: »

about 10 friends

I'd say they all are, known them a good few years now

my speech as a younger child was quite delayed, but once it came it came very quickly, we were away on a weekend in the uk when I was about 4 or 5 when my speech came. Up until that point I only had sounds and a few words. To further complicate matters at age 6 I was diagnosed with Selective Mutism (SM) so I went through all my school years being silent (but did talk to family members) so it wasn't 18 until I was able to talk to everyone without anxiety (which took a lot of hard work and trial and error). To answer your question it was probably 6 or 7 until I could on a selective basis

Reading this gives me a little bit of hope, my 3 year old is on the verge of speaking she has certain sounds and she gets the picture thing very well but just hasnt started speaking yet.

Its great also to hear you speak of emotions ect, my daughter can be aloof but definitely affectionate.

Anything you would recommend a parent to do with their ASD children particularly girls?