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Wedding Faux Pas

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    #32
    Nervous Wreck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    People who worry about what colour others wear to weddings need to get a grip. Who gives a fcuk? Why give a fcuk? Does someone else wearing white somehow diminish the whiteness of the bride's dress or diminish the wedding itself? Unwritten rule my hairy arse.


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    #33
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,320 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    I think it has happened a lot more since the royal wedding when Pippa's bridesmaids dress was white.


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    #34
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    I think it has happened a lot more since the royal wedding when Pippa's bridesmaids dress was white.

    That wasn't something new, all bridesmaids and flower girls wear white in a royal wedding, its a tradition.

    *OP, if your sister was aware of it as a faux pas and did it anyway, it wasn't a particularly nice thing to do since it's supposed to be about you and your new Mrs. If she did it with your wife's approval or stated indifference, that's different.

    So, if it was a way of getting attention/detracting attention from the bride, not good. If it was agreed in advance or didn't bother anyone/she was unaware of the ettiquette, it's not so bad.

    It's not going to matter in a day or two either way, and if it was an intentional thing and your sister is single and ever gets married, all bets are off for your wife.


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    #35
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,320 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Candie wrote: »
    That wasn't something new, all bridesmaids and flower girls wear white in a royal wedding, its a tradition.

    *OP, if your sister was aware of it as a faux pas and did it anyway, it wasn't a particularly nice thing to do since it's supposed to be about you and your new Mrs. If she did it with your wife's approval or stated indifference, that's different.

    So, if it was a way of getting attention/detracting attention from the bride, not good. If it was agreed in advance or didn't bother anyone/she was unaware of the ettiquette, it's not so bad.

    It's not going to matter in a day or two either way, and if it was an intentional thing and your sister is single and ever gets married, all bets are off for your wife.

    I never realised that it was done by older bridesmaids at royal weddings.
    I agree with your other points.
    I know a mother of the bride who wore white and her daughter wore ivory. Guests made a big issue of it and almost told the mother to go home and change. It was actually the bride that picked out the dress for her mother.


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    #36
    work
    Registered Users Posts: 661 ✭✭✭work


    The king of first world problems.......if this stresses you out count your lucky stars, if you are capable of seeing how lucky you are.
    I feel sorry for you and your wife that you are on a forum on your wedding day.......look at yourself not your sister......I doubt she did anything to annoy you and if she did what a sado...IGNORE.


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    #37
    Karangue
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 152 ✭✭Karangue


    Go easy on the porter Colin or it will be like pushing a marshmallow through a key hole.


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    #38
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    I never realised that it was done by older bridesmaids at royal weddings.

    This is QE2s wedding, all the bridesmaids look as bridal as she does.

    It's an old tradition fueled by superstition, and it used to be observed by everyone, not just the royals. Color is a fairly recent introduction for bridal attendants, the uncouth Americans got flashy with it around the turn of the last century. Previously, the bridesmaids used to wear white to confuse any evil spirits hanging around looking for a virgin bride to despoil on her wedding day.

    The royals upheld the tradition, because they're nothing if not slow to change.


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    #39
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    Karangue wrote: »
    Go easy on the porter Colin or it will be like pushing a marshmallow through a key hole.

    In fairness, if he's already shagging the hotel porter the marriage is doomed before it begins.


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    #40
    Karangue
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 152 ✭✭Karangue


    Outlaw Pete wrote: »
    In fairness, if he's already shagging the hotel porter the marriage is doomed before it begins.

    Has he a can of wd40?


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    #41
    Victor
    Registered Users Posts: 78,303 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Candie wrote: »
    if it was an intentional thing and your sister is single and ever gets married, all bets are off for your wife.
    Cue wife hiring a bunch of young wans to dress in scarlet and sit in front row for sister's wedding.


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    #42
    Vojera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,812 ✭✭✭Vojera


    Candie wrote: »
    This is QE2s wedding, all the bridesmaids look as bridal as she does.
    I must admit that this took me a second. I was wondering why a cruise liner was having a wedding :pac:

    OP, your sister was wrong to wear white to the wedding (although you say it was "ambiguously white" - was it light rather than white?). It's not done and I would expect most women know this.

    However, you can assure your new wife that no one could have outshone her and that the other guests would have viewed your sister with distain for her outfit of choice.


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    #43
    PandaPoo
    Registered Users Posts: 4,977 ✭✭✭PandaPoo


    I got married 3 years ago and I couldn't give a f*ck if every female there wore a white dress. There was one guest wearing a white dress, and I didn't notice until people kept remarking about it, and I didn't care.

    Trust me when I say this, it's 100% irrelevant, once you and your lovely wife had a nice day and are looking forward to spending your life together. My wedding day was a sh*t show, literally, and I have the happiest marriage I could ever have dreamed of.


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    #44
    SafeSurfer
    Registered Users Posts: 6,421 ✭✭✭SafeSurfer


    It is completely relevant.
    It is obviously a statement of dislike and contempt of both you and your new bride.
    Did she give ye a present? If it's less than €200 she despises both of ye and still blames you for the scar on her lip when you pushed her off the swing that time.

    Multo autem ad rem magis pertinet quallis tibi vide aris quam allis



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    #45
    Tsipras
    Closed Accounts Posts: 493 ✭✭Tsipras


    Ah man, if you're looking at dresses and evaluating them you did the wrong thing yesterday, just go with your heart man it's not too late

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CajJyuk3P_w


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    #46
    jimbobalob309
    Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭jimbobalob309


    is your wife peeved about it?

    cant say id notice to be perfectly honest. unless she was also wearing a veil or something.


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    #47
    PLL
    Registered Users Posts: 893 ✭✭✭PLL


    Congratulations! Wishing a life of health & happiness for yourself and the wife.

    It isn't werid posting here, fantastic place to get an objective opinion when you're surrounded by bias and bitching. Asking for advice here has really helped me out before.

    Sadly, I suspect your sister may not like your wife. Women know the no white rule, and only break it if they have zero regard for the bride's feelings. Even so, it makes you look like a massive bítch. Even if do not like the bride, you just don't do it.
    Reassure your wife that her thunder wasn't stolen, that she looked incredible and everyone kept remarking on how incredible she looked.


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    #48
    99nsr125
    Registered Users Posts: 1,183 ✭✭✭99nsr125


    Simply, YES
    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    I am more grappling with the question of "Is my sister a b*tch" question to be honest with you!


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    #49
    MistyCheese
    Registered Users Posts: 4,005 ✭✭✭MistyCheese


    Okay so, what I'm hearing is; you shagged your sister by mistake thinking she was your wife. Ah, we've all been there lad. Five Hail Mary's and an Our Father for you.

    (Now, just to be clear, I'm talking about Our Father the prayer - do not accidentally shag yer da. No matter what colour dress he's in).


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    #50
    AllForIt
    Registered Users Posts: 8,311 ✭✭✭AllForIt


    What bothers me about the OP's point is that it demonstrates that their is prevailing attitude that when it comes to certain events/occasions family members are expected to attend as if it where their duty. In the case of a weeding one would typically have to go to the trouble of buying suitable attire, travelling, taking time of work etc etc. All this time money and effort one puts in expected as default behaviour, no credit given. In fact credit can only be taken away if one doesn't do all this things to a required standard as is clearly the case here i.e she didn't wear the right colour dress. The op clearly does not appreciate the time and trouble she went to to attend his wedding at all - in fact he even says 'she broke a rule' !


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    #51
    Goat the dote
    Registered Users Posts: 726 ✭✭✭Goat the dote


    Your sister sounds like she did it on purpose. Does she get on with your new wife?


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    #52
    Spider Web
    Closed Accounts Posts: 386 ✭✭Spider Web


    PLL wrote: »
    Sadly, I suspect your sister may not like your wife. Women know the no white rule, and only break it if they have zero regard for the bride's feelings. Even so, it makes you look like a massive bítch.
    Women don't all know the silly blanket "no white" rule.

    I think it looks far worse to say things like the above, in case the woman genuinely made a mistake.

    If a bride is going to be absolutely losing her sh-t over it, she seems like a needy, insecure nightmare.


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    #53
    Crea
    Registered Users Posts: 1,049 ✭✭✭Crea


    Does it go against etiquette? Yes
    Is everyone aware of the etiquette? No (although most people would be)
    Is it worth getting upset about? No
    Is it worth holding a grudge for? No


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    #54
    Pwindedd
    Registered Users Posts: 2,230 ✭✭✭Pwindedd


    Most ladies would know not to wear white to a wedding, when there is a whole spectrum of other colours to chose from. My ex MIL wore white to my wedding. She's dead now. My adult step daughter chose a colour dress that made it look like she was one of the bridesmaids. Everyone pitied her when I corrected their assumption. Their facial expression was very similar to the one you make when your about to fart and not sure if you can trust it.

    Congrats Colin


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    #55
    Colser
    Registered Users Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    It really isn't a major issue and I'm sure you're wife will see it for what it was and will probably only mention it 4 or 5 times a day for the rest of your life..no big deal really.Congrats to you both.😀


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    #56
    exaisle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭exaisle


    Deleted User wrote: »

    The wedding has already been consummated btw!

    You don't consummate a wedding, you consummate a marriage.

    Now go back and do it properly... ;-)


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    #57
    exaisle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭exaisle


    Pwindedd wrote: »
    My ex MIL wore white to my wedding. She's dead now.

    I assume these two statements are unrelated....


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    #58
    corner of hells
    Registered Users Posts: 8,363 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    Congratulations Colin.

    Have any you lot considered that Colins sister may have in fact been the priest and their dresses are white.

    Any that brings me along to my favourite ever wedding where a bridesmaid head butted one of the guests who had mistaken him for her ex.


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    #59
    begbysback
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,910 ✭✭✭begbysback


    Marriage, outside of the religious aspect, is supposed to actually mean something.

    It seems most of the meaning has now gone into the unwritten rules of a fashion show...


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    #60
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    begbysback wrote: »
    Marriage, outside of the religious aspect, is supposed to actually mean something.

    It seems most of the meaning has now gone into the unwritten rules of a fashion show...

    We're not talking about marriage we're talking about wedding etiquette, the marriage bit comes after that.


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    #61
    Clara B
    Registered Users Posts: 96 ✭✭Clara B


    Congratulations Colin on the wedding

    firstly,I'm not much of a one for weddings and traditions-I generally think that weddings end up being about pleasing everyone but yourself. I don't much like attending them either-as that much "planned fun" can be a nightmare-same goes for hen parties.As far out of the loop as I am I can tell you that every woman KNOWS not to wear white to a wedding-it is just not done. If your sister didn't know she would have been told when she had told/shown people what she was intending to wear. Every woman tries out their dress at least once for someone to get their opinion on it. There really is no way she wasn't aware.
    It may be the case that she thought your new wife wouldn't mind-I think that's a slim chance though. Tbh I think what your sister did was awful and I am sure it has annoyed your wife. It would annoy me. Its not worth falling out over but I would be saying it to her at some point that it was a slightly bitchy thing to do. Its like she was trying to steal the brides thunder-that's why the bride wears white-to be the center of attention. As she should be-most people only have their wedding day once.
    Really,its all down to how your wife feels. If she is annoyed,as previous poster said,you should have her back. If she is ok with it then let it go and just say to your sister that you noticed and were not impressed.


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