Wedding Faux Pas

Greetings Boardsies,

So i got married today. Upon arriving at the church I noticed my sister was wearing a white dress.

Thought it was kind of an unwritten rule broken.

Neutral thoughts?

Cheers.

Colin

Academic

Deleted User wrote: »

Greetings Boardsies,

So i got married today. Upon arriving at the church I noticed my sister was wearing a white dress.

Thought it was kind of an unwritten rule broken.

Neutral thoughts?

Cheers.

Colin

Depends. Were you marrying your sister?

Surreptitious

Ditch the dress and wear a suit next time.

Wedding etiquette. Female guests do not usually wear a white dress.

Hector Mildew

Just married today and you're posting here and its not even 11pm!?

Maybe you should pay some attention to your wife and what she's wearing! ��

Allinall

All rules are written.

An unwritten rule doesn't exist, by definition.

threetrees

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Greetings Boardsies,

So i got married today. Upon arriving at the church I noticed my sister was wearing a white dress.

Thought it was kind of an unwritten rule broken.

Neutral thoughts?

Cheers.

Colin

I'm more concerned that you are posting here on the night of your wedding than worrying about the guest attire etiquette, seriously, get off your phone and be with your new wife!!!!!

PS, your sister should not have worn white.

Academic

Academic wrote: »

Deleted User wrote: »

Greetings Boardsies,

So i got married today. Upon arriving at the church I noticed my sister was wearing a white dress.

Thought it was kind of an unwritten rule broken.

Neutral thoughts?

Cheers.

Colin

Depends. Were you marrying your sister?

No. I should probably point out i am a heterosexual male marrying a heterosexual female.

Christ that sounds clinical.

The celebration bit was more of an extended lunch than anything. All dissolved and the drinkers gone their own ways.

Am sitting on the bog as a neutral having heard the case of both prosecution and defence.

So i am looking for neutral opinions.

The wedding has already been consummated btw!

Fighting Tao

[Deleted User] wrote: »

No. I should probably point out i am a heterosexual male marrying a heterosexual female.

Christ that sounds clinical.

That doesn't clear anything up. So you are a guy...you prefer women. Is your sister a man?

B.A._Baracus

You know, it's very much possible he was talking to his now wife about it and decided to anonymously ask people was it weird or perfectly fine. Am sure he'll get down to business


As for my take on it? Honestly never thought about it too much before. But yeah does seem out of place / a thing not to do. I know women like to dress up for big days but it's about the bride. No need to try and "steal her thunder" if you get me?

So wearing a white dress is a no-no. But I base that on the thinking that said white dress was very wedding esque like? eg, lavish etc.

threetrees

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The wedding has already been consummated btw!

Well I'm glad to hear that the sister wearing white didn't cause an issue in that department!

Fighting Tao

Fighting Tao wrote: »

[Deleted User] wrote: »

No. I should probably point out i am a heterosexual male marrying a heterosexual female.

Christ that sounds clinical.

That doesn't clear anything up. So you are a guy...you prefer women. Is your sister a man?

I am more grappling with the question of "Is my sister a b*tch" question to be honest with you!

B.A._Baracus

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

You know, it's very much possible he was talking to his now wife about it and decided to anonymously ask people was it weird or perfectly fine. Am sure he'll get down to business


As for my take on it? Honestly never thought about it too much before. But yeah does seem out of place / a thing not to do. I know women like to dress up for big days but it's about the bride. No need to try and "steal her thunder" if you get me?

So wearing a white dress is a no-no. But I base that on the thinking that said white dress was very wedding esque like? eg, lavish etc.

Thank you

The dress in question was white, ambiguously white!

screamer

I think a bigger faux Pas is being on your phone posting on boards on your wedding night..... You can worry about your sister's dress tomorrow.... And congrats BTW.

seenitall

Your sister shouldn't have worn white, like someone upthread already said, it's basic wedding etiquette.

What did she say when you remarked on it?

You're sister shouldn't have worn white. I find it hard to imagine she didn't know that. Everyone knows that.

Im guessing your new wife is upset. She'll regret spending her wedding night fuming and/or hold a grudge against your sister for ruining her mood on the day.

You should listen to whatever she has to say about it. Validate her feelings by letting her know you understand why she's upset and its completely reasonable for her to be annoyed.

And then for the love of God, tell her it doesn't
really matter anyway, the whole congregation could have worn white and no one could have shown her up or looked better than her because she looked stunning and what's more you wouldn't have even noticed them because you only had eyes for her! Or some such lovey dovey wedding style stuff.

buried

The OP is probably dead right to be up on here looking for honest discussion and thoughts from total strangers. He ain't gong to get it from the strangers at the wedding. I think your sister was trying to make a not too subtle statement about something to someone at the ceremony. Is she going out with someone? She could have been trying to send a message to her other half she would like a day out herself as a bride by wearing the same colour. Maybe she was up to something else, I dunno. What did your sister say about it anyways?

Nettle Soup

Deleted User wrote: »

The dress in question was white, ambiguously white!

Do you mean unambiguously?

B.A._Baracus

Deleted User wrote: »

Thank you

The dress in question was white, ambiguously white!

Sheesh. Not good. Sounds like she wanted to steal her thunder indeed.
Oh, was your sister a bridesmaid too by any chance? :eek:

razorblunt

Got married, posted on Boards within hours,

Mrs OBumble

Your sister and your wife can sort it out among themselves. This may or may not involve handbags at dawn.

Either way your loyalty is to your wife and what she wants. She will give you an opinion on the subject if there's any need for you to have one.

buried

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Your sister and your wife can sort it out among themselves. This may or may not involve handbags at dawn.

White handbags too. Handy for the scrapping in these dark dawn morn's

Nettle Soup

Nettle Soup wrote: »

Deleted User wrote: »

The dress in question was white, ambiguously white!

Do you mean unambiguously?

No.

B.A._Baracus

razorblunt wrote: »

Got married, posted on Boards within hours,

Give the op a break
We live in a world where if someone was to witness an accident or "some event" people bust out their phones to record and or tweet about it. Posting on your wedding night looking for opinions on something THAT happened at your wedding is not that weird.

Besides, and not to go off topic too much, it's not like it's the bloody first time he'll sleep with her :pac:
A wedding night in reality isn't like two horny teenagers going at it for the first time. A lot of it (apart from the obvious getting down to it) can be just about sitting down, smiling and realizing you are married to the person you love. Getting something to eat. etc. Op, is asking something that happened in his day. Not like he is busting out the xbox one :pac:

Outlaw Pete

Greetings Boardsies.

So I'm at a wedding today. Upon arriving at the church I noticed the groom eyeing up my sister.

Thought that was kind of an unwritten rule broken so I shagged the bride while he was messing around on an iPad.

Neutral thoughts?

Cheers.

Pete




---




By the way........Congratulations!!

Jawgap

Deleted User wrote: »

Greetings Boardsies,

So i got married today. Upon arriving at the church I noticed my sister was wearing a white dress.

Thought it was kind of an unwritten rule broken.

Neutral thoughts?

Cheers.

Colin

Depends......was your wife/spouse to be male or female?

In short, were there 2 women in White at the wedding, and how did you distinguish between them?

Academic

Academic wrote: »

Depends. Were you marrying your sister?

Deleted User wrote: »

No. I should probably point out i am a heterosexual male marrying a heterosexual female.

Christ that sounds clinical.

Well, my question still stands. This is Ireland, after all son. :pac:

Victor

I think the only exception to the white dress rule would be if the sister was obviously under the age of say, 10 and/or was the flower girl.

freshpopcorn

I noticed lately with a lot of local weddings mothers and sister wore white/ivory to wedding. If the bride wore white somebody else in the family wore ivory and if the bride wore white they wore ivory. The bride in a lot of these cases picked out knew what the other person was wearing.

eviltwin

Does it really matter OP? Its your wedding night ffs, put a supposed faux pas out of your mind and go and enjoy the rest of your night. This will be so irrelevant in a few weeks. Congratulations!!!!

Nervous Wreck

People who worry about what colour others wear to weddings need to get a grip. Who gives a fcuk? Why give a fcuk? Does someone else wearing white somehow diminish the whiteness of the bride's dress or diminish the wedding itself? Unwritten rule my hairy arse.

freshpopcorn

I think it has happened a lot more since the royal wedding when Pippa's bridesmaids dress was white.

freshpopcorn

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I think it has happened a lot more since the royal wedding when Pippa's bridesmaids dress was white.

That wasn't something new, all bridesmaids and flower girls wear white in a royal wedding, its a tradition.

*OP, if your sister was aware of it as a faux pas and did it anyway, it wasn't a particularly nice thing to do since it's supposed to be about you and your new Mrs. If she did it with your wife's approval or stated indifference, that's different.

So, if it was a way of getting attention/detracting attention from the bride, not good. If it was agreed in advance or didn't bother anyone/she was unaware of the ettiquette, it's not so bad.

It's not going to matter in a day or two either way, and if it was an intentional thing and your sister is single and ever gets married, all bets are off for your wife.

freshpopcorn

Candie wrote: »

That wasn't something new, all bridesmaids and flower girls wear white in a royal wedding, its a tradition.

*OP, if your sister was aware of it as a faux pas and did it anyway, it wasn't a particularly nice thing to do since it's supposed to be about you and your new Mrs. If she did it with your wife's approval or stated indifference, that's different.

So, if it was a way of getting attention/detracting attention from the bride, not good. If it was agreed in advance or didn't bother anyone/she was unaware of the ettiquette, it's not so bad.

It's not going to matter in a day or two either way, and if it was an intentional thing and your sister is single and ever gets married, all bets are off for your wife.

I never realised that it was done by older bridesmaids at royal weddings.
I agree with your other points.
I know a mother of the bride who wore white and her daughter wore ivory. Guests made a big issue of it and almost told the mother to go home and change. It was actually the bride that picked out the dress for her mother.

work

The king of first world problems.......if this stresses you out count your lucky stars, if you are capable of seeing how lucky you are.
I feel sorry for you and your wife that you are on a forum on your wedding day.......look at yourself not your sister......I doubt she did anything to annoy you and if she did what a sado...IGNORE.

Karangue

Go easy on the porter Colin or it will be like pushing a marshmallow through a key hole.

freshpopcorn

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I never realised that it was done by older bridesmaids at royal weddings.

This is QE2s wedding, all the bridesmaids look as bridal as she does.

It's an old tradition fueled by superstition, and it used to be observed by everyone, not just the royals. Color is a fairly recent introduction for bridal attendants, the uncouth Americans got flashy with it around the turn of the last century. Previously, the bridesmaids used to wear white to confuse any evil spirits hanging around looking for a virgin bride to despoil on her wedding day.

The royals upheld the tradition, because they're nothing if not slow to change.

Outlaw Pete

Karangue wrote: »

Go easy on the porter Colin or it will be like pushing a marshmallow through a key hole.

In fairness, if he's already shagging the hotel porter the marriage is doomed before it begins.

Karangue

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

In fairness, if he's already shagging the hotel porter the marriage is doomed before it begins.

Has he a can of wd40?

Victor

Candie wrote: »

if it was an intentional thing and your sister is single and ever gets married, all bets are off for your wife.

Cue wife hiring a bunch of young wans to dress in scarlet and sit in front row for sister's wedding.

Vojera

Candie wrote: »

This is QE2s wedding, all the bridesmaids look as bridal as she does.

I must admit that this took me a second. I was wondering why a cruise liner was having a wedding :pac:

OP, your sister was wrong to wear white to the wedding (although you say it was "ambiguously white" - was it light rather than white?). It's not done and I would expect most women know this.

However, you can assure your new wife that no one could have outshone her and that the other guests would have viewed your sister with distain for her outfit of choice.

PandaPoo

I got married 3 years ago and I couldn't give a f*ck if every female there wore a white dress. There was one guest wearing a white dress, and I didn't notice until people kept remarking about it, and I didn't care.

Trust me when I say this, it's 100% irrelevant, once you and your lovely wife had a nice day and are looking forward to spending your life together. My wedding day was a sh*t show, literally, and I have the happiest marriage I could ever have dreamed of.

SafeSurfer

It is completely relevant.
It is obviously a statement of dislike and contempt of both you and your new bride.
Did she give ye a present? If it's less than €200 she despises both of ye and still blames you for the scar on her lip when you pushed her off the swing that time.

Tsipras

Ah man, if you're looking at dresses and evaluating them you did the wrong thing yesterday, just go with your heart man it's not too late

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CajJyuk3P_w

jimbobalob309

is your wife peeved about it?

cant say id notice to be perfectly honest. unless she was also wearing a veil or something.

PLL

Congratulations! Wishing a life of health & happiness for yourself and the wife.

It isn't werid posting here, fantastic place to get an objective opinion when you're surrounded by bias and bitching. Asking for advice here has really helped me out before.

Sadly, I suspect your sister may not like your wife. Women know the no white rule, and only break it if they have zero regard for the bride's feelings. Even so, it makes you look like a massive bítch. Even if do not like the bride, you just don't do it.
Reassure your wife that her thunder wasn't stolen, that she looked incredible and everyone kept remarking on how incredible she looked.

99nsr125

Simply, YES

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I am more grappling with the question of "Is my sister a b*tch" question to be honest with you!

MistyCheese

Okay so, what I'm hearing is; you shagged your sister by mistake thinking she was your wife. Ah, we've all been there lad. Five Hail Mary's and an Our Father for you.

(Now, just to be clear, I'm talking about Our Father the prayer - do not accidentally shag yer da. No matter what colour dress he's in).

AllForIt

What bothers me about the OP's point is that it demonstrates that their is prevailing attitude that when it comes to certain events/occasions family members are expected to attend as if it where their duty. In the case of a weeding one would typically have to go to the trouble of buying suitable attire, travelling, taking time of work etc etc. All this time money and effort one puts in expected as default behaviour, no credit given. In fact credit can only be taken away if one doesn't do all this things to a required standard as is clearly the case here i.e she didn't wear the right colour dress. The op clearly does not appreciate the time and trouble she went to to attend his wedding at all - in fact he even says 'she broke a rule' !

Goat the dote

Your sister sounds like she did it on purpose. Does she get on with your new wife?