When a loved one leaves home

Rubberchikken

Skype her. Show her you're happy to see her being adventurous. Cry for now, in private. The year will fly.

antodeco

osarusan wrote: »

Sorry eviltwin, my story won't help you much. But she has gone to Japan, right? There's nowhere else that she would be safer, if that's any weight off your mind.

Unless GodZilla attacks

flossy1

the coming home for a few days are great but the going back kills me . I still miss him after 9 yrs

Witchie

For me, the buggers wouldn't leave the country so I had to, to get away from them. Clingy gits. I mean they are 12 and 9 now for gawds sake.*





*actually 22 and 19 but shur whats 10 years between friends.

osarusan

eviltwin wrote: »

I had a moment yesterday where I got into my head going over at Christmas and I priced flights, crazy money, not a hope of it happening.

Dublin - Tokyo is €774 return, Dec 27th - Jan 4th.

steddyeddy

eviltwin wrote: »

I was going to post this in PI but I think I need an AH kick up the arse kind of response.

My eldest child moved overseas yesterday. She's gone for a year and because of distance and finances and things I won't get to see her again until next July. This has been on the cards for a while and up till now I've been excited and happy and just very positive about it.

Yesterday it hit me really hard and I've been a bit of an emotional mess ever since. I'm by no means the kind of mammy who is attached to her kids but god this has hit me for six and I'm really missing her and all the impact of her not being here.

I know this is a first world problem because its a wonderful opportunity and we are very privileged to be able to make it happen and I know I should cop myself on but I just feel sad and weepy and needed to get it out.

I know a lot of you are away from home or have been in the past or have loved ones away from home. How do you get through it?

You don't have to justify being sad. It might be a wonderful opportunity but distance is distance. When I left the country my mother was upset but we actually grew closer because of it. I got to know her as a human being aswell as a mother.

Fanny Wank

Is she hot?

Bitches Be Trypsin

453 return from London if it's any help to you

steddyeddy

Bitches Be Trypsin wrote: »

453 return from London if it's any help to you

It must be cheaper than that serine protease.

Bitches Be Trypsin

steddyeddy wrote: »

It must be cheaper than that serine protease.

Hammer89

Ficheall wrote: »

Is she hot? I could bring her over a small package...

She's in Japan pal. I think she'll be alright if that floats her boat.

Donald Trump

Japan?

She'll be grand.......... They only have small willys over there (allegedly)

Bigus

More sexy time maybe. ..?..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cyofq6aE8vs

leggo

It could be worse. My dog went away to a farm down the country for a summer when I was a kid and liked it so much she never came back. No Skype in those days either.

eviltwin

Bitches Be Trypsin wrote: »

453 return from London if it's any help to you

Even that is too much of a push at the moment. We were really hoping that she would get one of the few scholarships available but they did it on a lottery system and she was unsuccessful. It means we have to cover her accommodation as she is not legally allowed to get a job over there and we are just to the limit financially but not complaining, I put a lot of value in education and I'm happy to do it to see my kids do well.

I've really appreciated the messages, I feel a lot better today. Its getting a bit easier.

7 Seconds...

You are clearly a very lovely mother so, I wouldn't worry too much about not being able to go over and see her, at the end of the day it is only one year, a really short space of time in the grand scheme of things.

This is her experience and she may appreciated it more, & be more grateful & love you all the more for letting her experience it on her own. Does she want you to go and see her? I don't be mean to be blunt, but sometimes the best thing we as parents can for our children is to let them go. I don't mean to blunt or sound mean.:)

Bitches Be Trypsin

eviltwin wrote: »

Even that is too much of a push at the moment. We were really hoping that she would get one of the few scholarships available but they did it on a lottery system and she was unsuccessful. It means we have to cover her accommodation as she is not legally allowed to get a job over there and we are just to the limit financially but not complaining, I put a lot of value in education and I'm happy to do it to see my kids do well.

I've really appreciated the messages, I feel a lot better today. Its getting a bit easier.

It will get easier every day! Also, if she's entitled to SUSI, she may also be entitled to Student Assistance Fund- some people get 1000 euro from it each year just something to keep in mind, could make things easier for all of you x

Ficheall

336euro return from Birmingham to Fukuoka.. (and flights to Birmingham cost pretty much nothing, because it's a ****hole)

ToddyDoody

Are Am Eye wrote: »

Let her go. If she's meant for you she'll come back.

Incest is illegal.

Sue Pa Key Pa

I've had a great relationship with my 2 boys since they left for college and since found jobs in Dublin. I'm still their Dad and all that goes with that, but we are proper friends now. They went and found their place in the world, as I did at their age, so we have lots to talk about when we meet up.

It was hard for the first 6 months, worrying if they were safe and happy. I insisted on a text from them at 10 every night to let me know they were OK. I soon learned that the stress & worry were not healthy for me, so I stopped it.

At this stage, we speak every couple of days, more if something is on the go. We meet a couple of times a month and my eldest has just asked us to have Christmas at his house.

When they leave, it takes some adjusting and I still miss them being here quite often. However, I'm happy that I have a proper adult relationship with them and they take time to make sure we are part of their lives. As children, they were great but they will be grown ups far longer than that part of our lives. You'll be grand OP, after a difficult period of adjustment

Xaracatz

I think the best thing is your great relationship with your daughter. I'm about four years out of Ireland now, and I'd have a quick chat with my mum over Viber every second day. We'd have a marathon call every week or so.

It's one of those things that people move onto new adventures, but, you can be in touch with each other so easily now. I love chatting with my mum - we're like friends now (except she will still ask if I have my keys / passport / wallet / chargers / etc., if I'm going anywhere).

Anymore, you can share a lot of time together - even if you're not in the same country!

TemptationWaits

Reading your message OP I almost thought it was written by my own mother! I was in your daughter's exact position a year ago now, leaving home and going to Japan for a year. You should know now that the worst of it is behind you because the build-up and the actual goodbye is the worst part. And it's nearly better to have her just go away for the year and then come back for good rather than say come home and Christmas and then have the creeping feeling come January that you'll have to say goodbye again. It's a clean break!

Besides, Japan is a fantastic country, it has everything, the people are great, and it's so safe for a girl! Your daughter will have an absolutely amazing time. And in the meantime time time to get tech savvy (which I'm sure you already are, posting on boards) so you can keep up with her on snapchat, instagram, and what have you!

Tell me how

How are you doing now OP?

How has your daughter settled in?

eviltwin

Tell me how wrote: »

How are you doing now OP?

How has your daughter settled in?

Much better thank you. Still missing her terribly and can't wait until she comes home but I'm feeling like my old self again. Having a proper conversation with her helped. She's really happy and loving her new home, she's made a few friends and that is very reassuring. Thanks again everyone for the wise words.