Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
How relevant to you is the controversy over feminism?
Options
Comments
-
Deleted User wrote: »I've deleted most of my games. Only have Hearts of Iron 3 (black ice v3.3) on my computer now. Having over 3000 hours on the game makes me stop before playing it and consider whether I could be spending my time on something more productive or interesting... still love the game but it's a good reminder.
"Productive" and "interesting" are pretty much meaningless if enjoy what you're doing. Part of the problem, as I've said many times, is this crazy concept that people need to be always "working towards something" or "achieving" stuff in their time. It's quite literally a killer. People live in a grind, cradle to the grave, always looking for "what's next". In a way, it's not that different from the mad rush to accumulate money.
Taking it easy, enjoying the stuff that puts a smile on your face should be the MOST valuable thing, instead we're driven to see it as a "waste of time".
Now, obviously reason is required - maybe, say, furious masturbation usque ad sanguinem isn't a very good idea, nor anything else that interferes with an individual's daily functioning, but you get what I mean 0 -
Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 37,284 CMod ✭✭✭✭
Join Date:Posts: 35261
H3llR4iser wrote: »"Productive" and "interesting" are pretty much meaningless if enjoy what you're doing. Part of the problem, as I've said many times, is this crazy concept that people need to be always "working towards something" or "achieving" stuff in their time. It's quite literally a killer. People live in a grind, cradle to the grave, always looking for "what's next". In a way, it's not that different from the mad rush to accumulate money.
Taking it easy, enjoying the stuff that puts a smile on your face should be the MOST valuable thing, instead we're driven to see it as a "waste of time".
Now, obviously reason is required - maybe, say, furious masturbation usque ad sanguinem isn't a very good idea, nor anything else that interferes with an individual's daily functioning, but you get what I mean
I'm not sure what pressures are being discussed here.
I live in London and I love. I'm from rural Ireland and it was just enervating. People had little interest in anything besides sports and the local nightclub. Getting out was the smartest thing I ever did. I'm tempted to leave the UK but I only speak English and have no idea what I want to do as I feel that I've pushed my current role to its logical conclusion.
I'm not nearly as into computer games as I used to be. I built my own PC in 2017 and still enjoy just chilling out with a strategy game like Total War or Europa Universalis. It's nice to just chill and escape from the obsession of developing a career that seems to be ubiquitous here.
Regarding women, I just abandoned that front. I just don't seem to find most women that interesting anymore. No idea how that happened. My workplace is full of attractive, foreign women but they're virtually all attached. I thought about asking a French-German collaborator out and thought it wouldn't cause HR issues (Work have a very strict diversity policy) but I ended up bottling it.We sat again for an hour and a half discussing maps and figures and always getting back to that most damnable creation of the perverted ingenuity of man - the County of Tyrone.
H. H. Asquith
0 -
-
-
ancapailldorcha wrote: »I'm tempted to leave the UK but I only speak English and have no idea what I want to do as I feel that I've pushed my current role to its logical conclusion.
I lived and worked professionally in Asia for a few years without learning the language. English is one of the few international languages. I highly recommend Asia for a few years.Regarding women, I just abandoned that front. I just don't seem to find most women that interesting anymore. No idea how that happened. My workplace is full of attractive, foreign women but they're virtually all attached. I thought about asking a French-German collaborator out and thought it wouldn't cause HR issues (Work have a very strict diversity policy) but I ended up bottling it.I don't think so to be honest. I think I'm just happy being on my own now.
I can certainly understand that. My interest in women comes in waves these days. Sex, in itself, isn't terribly attractive because of the sheer amount of bad sex out there and the lack of intimacy that's involved. I still enjoy being in relationships but... I often prefer to be left alone to do my own thing.
I think the problem comes with experience. You reach a point where there doesn't feel like there's anything new anymore. It's just a rehash of previous experiences and you can see before it starts how it's going to play out. Which it generally does.
Still... I force myself to date and be active because I know that my appeal to women has an expiration date. I often turn down offers for casual sex, being more interested in developing a greater degree of intimacy first, but general society seems to have moved away from that, in spite of all the claims otherwise. Still, experience is king, and you never know when you'll have a wonderful experience to add to your memories.0 -
Advertisement
-
ancapailldorcha wrote: »I'm not sure what pressures are being discussed here.
I'm talking about all of the absurd advice you see around about dropping [insert "nery" hobby here] and pick up something "productive" or "manly" like "weightlifting" or "woodworking". It's stupid beyond belief because it's telling people to stop doing something they enjoy and pick up something they won't necessarily. It's basically "work part II". Additional stress. But I ramble a bit here.
Fact is, doing things that are "constructive" is overestimated. Sure, as a teenager I learnt English in my own time; it turned out to be a life changing skill as it allowed me some advantages early in my career (I was often assigned to do certain tasks and interact with specific customers due to me speaking English) and ultimately to move abroad pretty much seamlessly.
Over the years I've acquired some manual skills which aren't usually part of an IT/Software Engineer's curriculum - I can do minor repairs on a car, build stuff out of wood, repair/build mildly complex electronics, do some home repairs. I can cook like a freakin' chef if I am entertaining someone for dinner.
All stuff that I learnt as a secondary result of something else: English through videogames and Star Trek; The woodworking part...building the load bearing structure for a model railway and so on. All out of doing something else that I enjoyed - and that is usually seen as a "waste of time" by most people; not because "I oughta learn X". Yet again, I ramble and digress...sorry folksancapailldorcha wrote: »I live in London and I love. I'm from rural Ireland and it was just enervating. People had little interest in anything besides sports and the local nightclub. Getting out was the smartest thing I ever did.
And you're so much ahead of 99% of folks from the same background; The amount of rubbish I hear about Dublin being a "kip" on a daily basis from guys from Ballybollocks or Arsecolling is staggering and annoying. Especially considering I'm from a city with nearly 4 million people concentrated in an area smaller than greater Dublin.
Oddly, women seem to adapt to the move from a rural setting to the city quite a bit better, I've hardly heard any voicing the same complaints. The exact reverse from foreign nationals - men tend to be much happier with Dublin and Ireland in general, while women tend to complain about, well, everything from the weather to, basically, missing mommy.ancapailldorcha wrote: »I'm tempted to leave the UK but I only speak English and have no idea what I want to do as I feel that I've pushed my current role to its logical conclusion.
Tempted myself to go somewhere new, I'm looking into learning German or French maybe. Italy's not an option, I would NEVER go back to work there, it's a mix between a madhouse and a sweatshop and the UK...sorry man, it might not even exist anymore in a couple of years time. Don't have a sponsor to move to the USA, Canada and Australia don't want soon-to-be-40-years-old dudes, apparently :rolleyes:
Also, I know my "looking around" is basically the result of "itchy feet syndrome", I kinda miss the times I first moved here, discovering everything new, learning about the culture and so on. I should probably wait for this phase to pass me by and decide with a clearer visual.ancapailldorcha wrote: »I'm not nearly as into computer games as I used to be. I built my own PC in 2017 and still enjoy just chilling out with a strategy game like Total War or Europa Universalis. It's nice to just chill and escape from the obsession of developing a career that seems to be ubiquitous here.
These games are masterpieces!ancapailldorcha wrote: »Regarding women, I just abandoned that front. I just don't seem to find most women that interesting anymore. No idea how that happened. My workplace is full of attractive, foreign women but they're virtually all attached. I thought about asking a French-German collaborator out and thought it wouldn't cause HR issues (Work have a very strict diversity policy) but I ended up bottling it.Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »I wonder are you afraid of rejection?ancapailldorcha wrote: »I don't think so to be honest. I think I'm just happy being on my own now.
Pretty much the same, past a certain age/level of experience, you figure out very well what you want/need/like, and the whole landscape shrinks dramatically. You start seeing things for what they are and are less and less willing to put up with stuff you don't need to.
The "rejection" thing doesn't really figure as such, but again you do reach a level where you're simply past putting up with a certain type of that sh1t - I won't go into detail because it might spark a level of discussion that isn't belonging to this board/thread.Deleted User wrote: »I often turn down offers for casual sex, being more interested in developing a greater degree of intimacy first, but general society seems to have moved away from that, in spite of all the claims otherwise.
I don't know, I guess it's a study case of "your mileage might vary" here. I'm usually in the opposite situation - I don't care for the "coupley" stuff nor intimacy, anymore. I see it as looking for and solving problems and issues I would never have on my own. Biological needs however rear their ugly heads every now and then, and I seem to only meet ladies who are counting down the minutes on their "biological clock" and lusting after their "Disney princess" dream. Even the ones who you would never suspect from a casual, friendly interaction, end up falling in these pits - which baffles me to absurd levels.0 -
Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 37,284 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 35261
H3llR4iser wrote: »I'm talking about all of the absurd advice you see around about dropping [insert "nery" hobby here] and pick up something "productive" or "manly" like "weightlifting" or "woodworking". It's stupid beyond belief because it's telling people to stop doing something they enjoy and pick up something they won't necessarily. It's basically "work part II". Additional stress. But I ramble a bit here.
Fact is, doing things that are "constructive" is overestimated. Sure, as a teenager I learnt English in my own time; it turned out to be a life changing skill as it allowed me some advantages early in my career (I was often assigned to do certain tasks and interact with specific customers due to me speaking English) and ultimately to move abroad pretty much seamlessly.
Over the years I've acquired some manual skills which aren't usually part of an IT/Software Engineer's curriculum - I can do minor repairs on a car, build stuff out of wood, repair/build mildly complex electronics, do some home repairs. I can cook like a freakin' chef if I am entertaining someone for dinner.
All stuff that I learnt as a secondary result of something else: English through videogames and Star Trek; The woodworking part...building the load bearing structure for a model railway and so on. All out of doing something else that I enjoyed - and that is usually seen as a "waste of time" by most people; not because "I oughta learn X". Yet again, I ramble and digress...sorry folks
Well done you! I thought you were a native English speaker.
I did join a gym and shed some weight. Built a PC recently and have started travelling alone. Was going to a local one before work in the morning. I went travelling in the middle east which disrupted my routine and I never really went back. Don't get me wrong, it's ultimately my own fault. I tied doing a coding course in my spare time but I was the only non-IT person there so you can guess how that panned out.
Looking into doing some French lessons in the new year perhaps. I get on with someone who pops into work from Cambridge every so often. I've no idea if she was interested as, to be honest I just can't read women at all. Wasn't mad keen about potentially clashing with the University's HR department if anything went pear shaped. As with the gym, I ultimately bottled it though.H3llR4iser wrote: »And you're so much ahead of 99% of folks from the same background; The amount of rubbish I hear about Dublin being a "kip" on a daily basis from guys from Ballybollocks or Arsecolling is staggering and annoying. Especially considering I'm from a city with nearly 4 million people concentrated in an area smaller than greater Dublin.
Oddly, women seem to adapt to the move from a rural setting to the city quite a bit better, I've hardly heard any voicing the same complaints. The exact reverse from foreign nationals - men tend to be much happier with Dublin and Ireland in general, while women tend to complain about, well, everything from the weather to, basically, missing mommy.
Well, I never lived independently in Ireland. I used by Dad's digs when I studied in Dublin which was a shame but my parents were footing the bill so... Dublin feels a bit dirty to me but I very much enjoy visiting it. Financially, I don't think I'd ever want to live there but it's not the worse place I've ever been. In fact, it's probably grand on the whole. I feel like a complete stranger in my home town now. I have no intention of ever going back to be honest despite my Mum constantly trying to persuade me to do so.
Was considering Cork or Limerick for a bit. May still do.H3llR4iser wrote: »Tempted myself to go somewhere new, I'm looking into learning German or French maybe. Italy's not an option, I would NEVER go back to work there, it's a mix between a madhouse and a sweatshop and the UK...sorry man, it might not even exist anymore in a couple of years time. Don't have a sponsor to move to the USA, Canada and Australia don't want soon-to-be-40-years-old dudes, apparently :rolleyes:
Also, I know my "looking around" is basically the result of "itchy feet syndrome", I kinda miss the times I first moved here, discovering everything new, learning about the culture and so on. I should probably wait for this phase to pass me by and decide with a clearer visual.
Italy's no good? My brother lives in Rome and doesn't sell it at all. Post doesn't work apparently.
I'd actually be perfectly happy to settle here if it weren't for the political situation. I'll not go any further into it as this isn't the place. I'm wondering how tolerant the Dutch are of monolingual Paddies. Maybe the French or the Germans. Think my future is in Europe and I'm fine with that.H3llR4iser wrote: »These games are masterpieces!
I adore Total War: Warhammer 2. It's just wonderful. Europa Universalis 4 is probably amazing. I've picked up the barest basics and am just ploughing through. Wonderful game if you like maps and history.H3llR4iser wrote: »Pretty much the same, past a certain age/level of experience, you figure out very well what you want/need/like, and the whole landscape shrinks dramatically. You start seeing things for what they are and are less and less willing to put up with stuff you don't need to.
The "rejection" thing doesn't really figure as such, but again you do reach a level where you're simply past putting up with a certain type of that sh1t - I won't go into detail because it might spark a level of discussion that isn't belonging to this board/thread.
I think I'm there now. I like travelling, reading, films, long walks and the like and I pursue all of these alone which I'm fine with. Randomly went on a day trip to Essex earlier this year and just wandered around Colchester looking at Roman ruins and the castle. Not sure how that would have fit with a partner.We sat again for an hour and a half discussing maps and figures and always getting back to that most damnable creation of the perverted ingenuity of man - the County of Tyrone.
H. H. Asquith
0 -
ancapailldorcha wrote: »Italy's no good? My brother lives in Rome and doesn't sell it at all. Post doesn't work apparently.
Italy is...complicated. It's a good place to live if you have/earn a lot of money, in a nutshell. Everything and...almost everyone is basically for sale down there .
It also depends a lot on what you do for a living - finance, tourism, sales, marketing, you will probably be OK. If you manage to get into Fiat/Alfa Romeo/Ferrari/Maserati/Lamborghini, or something like Alenia, also good (although I don't know about the latter, most of their business ties are with Boeing...).
Technical jobs, like IT, software development and so on, it's a wasteland. There ARE some odd islands of exellence like Kunos (Assetto Corsa) and Milestone (MotoGp series, WRC series), but it's rare.
The big problems with working in Italy are essentially three:
- The salaries are ridiculously low, unless you make it to a director/manager/board level;
- The rampant concept of "PMI" (Piccola Media Impresa): companies that purposely remain small and ran as a family managed business for tax benefits and profits. They have less than 15 employees and their business model is based on overworking each and every one of them, with ridiculously low salaries, until they can take no more. As a result, work/life balance tends to be a disaster.
- Career prospect are nil, in part as a result of the above (any "management" position will be held by Daddy's dearest); In in bigger companies, you'll find managers and directors are almost always people holding Economics, Marketing or Politics degrees. Even if they're, say, an engineering or product quality manager. Hence, they know nothing about what they're managing - giving life to the the concept that Italian companies tend to be badly mismanaged - they actually are.
Oh yes, the post service is terrible - and go figure, it improved MASSIVELY in the past 10 years. When I was a kid I used to always run an experiment: if we took a family holiday in the summer, I'd send a postcard home just to see if and when it'd arrive. I'd send it in mid-July, it'd normally get home (300 km away) in December/January the next year...0 -
-
Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »You know, Ireand has the highest amount of female expats? I'm suprised they're complaining so much as I thought that was more the expats in other countries :O
Do you mean Irish women going abroad or foreign women coming in here?
For the first ones...I have no idea, I'm here
The second bunch...I'm talking about personal experience; Compared to foreign men living here, the difference is night and day. Literally anything from the weather to the colour of the walls is apparently a valid reason for complaining about the "useless Irish". Sometimes these complaints are downright nasty. As you know, I'm a foreigner myself but at times I've found myself one step removed from channeling an old Irish sailor and shout "go back home then!" at them. Sure, it's not perfect, but there IS a reason you're here and if we want to oversimplify, the reason is that your own country is sh1tty enough that it didn't offer you any meaningful opportunities.
The interesting fact is that they influence their male partners views - single guys don't complain nearly that much. Sure, I've met the odd Spanish or Portuguese guy who complains about the weather, but they never go much past that. Some Italians miss pizza or pasta. But that's it - pretty minor stuff.
The lads with partners from the same country as theirs, on the other hand, are as much an endless stream of vitriolic complaints as their ladies are. Yet taken on their own, would not even mention it.0 -
Advertisement
-
H3llR4iser wrote: »Do you mean Irish women going abroad or foreign women coming in here?
For the first ones...I have no idea, I'm here
The second bunch...I'm talking about personal experience; Compared to foreign men living here, the difference is night and day. Literally anything from the weather to the colour of the walls is apparently a valid reason for complaining about the "useless Irish". Sometimes these complaints are downright nasty. As you know, I'm a foreigner myself but at times I've found myself one step removed from channeling an old Irish sailor and shout "go back home then!" at them. Sure, it's not perfect, but there IS a reason you're here and if we want to oversimplify, the reason is that your own country is sh1tty enough that it didn't offer you any meaningful opportunities.
The interesting fact is that they influence their male partners views - single guys don't complain nearly that much. Sure, I've met the odd Spanish or Portuguese guy who complains about the weather, but they never go much past that. Some Italians miss pizza or pasta. But that's it - pretty minor stuff.
The lads with partners from the same country as theirs, on the other hand, are as much an endless stream of vitriolic complaints as their ladies are. Yet taken on their own, would not even mention it.
I have noticed what your saying in regards to the second paragraph. I feel like a partner disliking the culture can amplify the culture shock, or perhaps it's more obvious if they don't have the 'single foreign man' card.0 -
-
-
-
ancapailldorcha wrote: »I didn't mind it too much. Was my first time living in a city so I think I had issues adjusting.
Same for me with Dublin.How are Dublin and the UK cities lagging?
The general feel to the cities and infrastructure. I find Dublin and many UK cities to be rather depressing places, with rubbish/dirtiness on the streets/paths, the homeless and drug addicts being easily seen in many areas. I'd say lagging behind with regards to infrastructure, services, and building types.
There are some lovely parts of Dublin but the center isn't somewhere I enjoy being for long. [Just my opinion, so anyone else who wants to defend Dublin, can stick with the Dublin thread]. I find mainland European cities, especially the capitals to be far better.I've only ever played HoI4. I like it but I find them awfully hard to learn. Warhammer 2 is a wonderful game.
True enough, I'm still figuring out HOI3.Fair enough. I'm in my thirties and feel settled here. Come new year, I am going to look and see what English-speaking jobs, if any exist on the continent. Think I'm too old for the TEFL thing which is fine. Not sure how I feel about uprooting completely but we'll see.
Cork might be nice but I've never been actually. Young Offenders doesn't exactly help!
I started TEFL at 33... :pac: Started with kindergarten (horrible but interesting), did private for a while, then primary, middle, and high school. I teach university now. Lecture business management and business English, although I end up doing a bit of everything since I'm the only native English speaker in my current university. It's worth considering for a year or two, but I wouldn't recommend it long term. However, it is a good way to transition towards something else. I currently work 16 hours a week.
I've a friend in his late 50s who is teaching here. He loves it. Gets a lot of attention from younger ladies. 0 -
-
Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »How in the world did you get into that?
I'm a book worm and a fantasy nut. Always wanted to write books full time but that's not entirely realistic. Yet. Need to build up a greater following. The western market is saturated, and too cynical (tried and got nowhere), but the Chinese market is still "a bit" underdeveloped with western authors. I got into it by writing a personal development book aimed at students (which still isn't finished but got me decent contacts). I publish in both English and Chinese, along with audiobooks. Working on my second fantasy novel right now. First one did kinda okay, but didn't hit the right note for success here.
I get a lot of distrust on boards when I say I understand how the culture works here, but I do. I've been dealing with the Chinese party's censorship departments for a few years now, along with needing to go to Party conferences to network, and be seen. It's just the way things are done here. Nobody trusts a foreigner until they've spoken face to face with them. Met quite a few of the upper echelon outside of Beijing. Scary dudes. Charming but scary.
Anyway, I got into it because I had no clue what else to do. After working 16 hours a week for a few years, i"m very reluctant to return to working 40+ hours which business tends to require, and anyway, my past experience in management is pretty much obsolete these days with the way things have changed. I'm also very wary of the feminist aspect in management, which a number of former colleagues have been sending warning reports about... So, writing it is. 0 -
Deleted User wrote: »I'm a book worm and a fantasy nut. Always wanted to write books full time but that's not entirely realistic. Yet. Need to build up a greater following. The western market is saturated, and too cynical (tried and got nowhere), but the Chinese market is still "a bit" underdeveloped with western authors. I got into it by writing a personal development book aimed at students (which still isn't finished but got me decent contacts). I publish in both English and Chinese, along with audiobooks. Working on my second fantasy novel right now. First one did kinda okay, but didn't hit the right note for success here.
I get a lot of distrust on boards when I say I understand how the culture works here, but I do. I've been dealing with the Chinese party's censorship departments for a few years now, along with needing to go to Party conferences to network, and be seen. It's just the way things are done here. Nobody trusts a foreigner until they've spoken face to face with them. Met quite a few of the upper echelon outside of Beijing. Scary dudes. Charming but scary.
Anyway, I got into it because I had no clue what else to do. After working 16 hours a week for a few years, i"m very reluctant to return to working 40+ hours which business tends to require, and anyway, my past experience in management is pretty much obsolete these days with the way things have changed. I'm also very wary of the feminist aspect in management, which a number of former colleagues have been sending warning reports about... So, writing it is.
I feel you on the 16 hours thing. I prefer to just get my work done and go home and not be lingering at the desk.
You know, you've touched on something about being an expat (perhapu s male). You can do whatever you want. You want to write about a person of a different coulor/gender/ whatever, nobody will care. You want to open a motorcycle shop, you can. You have a lot of freedom as being the 'foreign dude'.0 -
Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »You know, you've touched on something about being an expat (perhapu s male). You can do whatever you want. You want to write about a person of a different coulor/gender/ whatever, nobody will care. You want to open a motorcycle shop, you can. You have a lot of freedom as being the 'foreign dude'.
I do and I don't. It really comes down to perception.
Most western foreigners come to China as tourists or students. Their stays are relatively short (1-2 years), and they're get to play around with complete freedom, because they can leave most of the consequences behind them.
I, on the other hand, live here. Oh, I'll be leaving in another year, but I've stayed here for so long because I don't fcuk around not caring about the consequences. The problem with China is if one foreigner messes up in Beijing, then all foreigners throughout China are held responsible to a degree. Most foreigners because they're here such a short time, don't care, but I do. I've got foreign friends here who have been here longer than me, and will stay longer again.
Saying that, as long as I don't break any obvious taboos, I've got far more freedom in China than I would in Europe. There's street food here. Very little is actually regulated so you have more freedom as long as you avoid official notice, and even then, you can often get away with it, by getting them laid.
Regarding writing, as long as I don't insult/demean China, in any shape or form, I'm good. Takes some getting used to, to understand where the various lines are because nobody will outright tell you. It's one of the reasons that Foreigners get such a bad impression of China.. there's no clear and easy guide . Still, China is changing, with LGBT issues cropping up now, along with metoo.
China has probably a far more equal distribution of work. You'll see women working in all areas, unlike in the west. There is massive amounts of traditional and institutionalised sexism, but there's also a lot that swings against men too... but there's gradual movement towards a more egalitarian society for males/females. Feminism is here, but not the radical/hostile kind. I would, however, need to be a little careful with stereotypes. Not to the extent of the west, but it's still here as an issue of consumerism.0 -
-
Advertisement
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
![[Deleted User]](/applications/dashboard/design/images/defaulticon.png)
Advertisement