The missus, the mother

Irish Guitarist

'She who must be obeyed' is far better. It sounds like they're married to a dominatrix.

FTA69

There's a common cockney saying where a wife or girlfriend is referred to as "her indoors" which is hilarious when you think about it.

TheRiverman

I remembering hearing Pat Kenny referring to Kathy,his wife as "the other half" at an awards ceremony.I thought it was very disrespectful hearing a professional broadcaster say it.

andekwarhola

Asked the missus here and she said chill out, Sir Lancelot.

Widdershins

It's the ''The'' bit that I dislike. ''My missus' or ''my mother'' is ok. ''The missus'' sounds like they're distancing themself from her. I think immature men do it more than most.

Ficheall

Pretty sure you'll find some who would whinge about "My", too - they're not a piece of property, etc, etc.

freshpopcorn

Wesser wrote: »

Does anyone else think that these terms are slightly derogatory?

As in... it's an object that kind of..... has to be put up with?

Ah jaysus the missus wouldn t go out with out fixin' up d' nails wha!!??
Ah jaysus I'm only here coz d mudder made me....

Is that you Louise O’Neill?

Widdershins

Ficheall wrote: »

Pretty sure you'll find some who would whinge about "My", too - they're not a piece of property, etc, etc.

''My'' doesn't always imply ownership though. And if it did, you're equally theirs.

Conor Bourke

OP what are your thoughts on people who refer to their dad as "Th'oulfella"?

Ficheall

Widdershins wrote: »

''My'' doesn't always imply ownership though. And if it did, you're equally theirs.

And "the" doesn't always imply 'distance'.
I wasn't suggesting the whingers were logical.

FanadMan

Still think that the term "She who must be obeyed" is the best one.

maudgonner

Personally I prefer to be called by my official title: The Wicked Bitch of the West.

Widdershins

Ficheall wrote: »

And "the" doesn't always imply 'distance'.
I wasn't suggesting the whingers were logical.

Well, ''the'' isn't the correct way of referring to someone so it's open to interpretation. ''My'' on the other hand is the usual and accepted way to refer to a relative, partner or acquaintance. Or even a boss or superior of some kind, which goes to show that it isn't intended to suggest ownership or domination of the other person.

RayM

Better to use "the" and sound dismissive than to use "my" and accidentally lead people to believe that you're referring to someone whom you deeply love.

ShmuckRyan

Wouldn't dare call her "the missus".

It's her indoors.

Summer wind

The Missus is used as a term of endearment by loads of people. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Annasopra

eeguy wrote: »

Don't mind the missus.

When people refer to their gf as "herself", that really annoys me.

Does noone remember "er indoors"?

fyfe79

FanadMan wrote: »

Still think that the term "She who must be obeyed" is the best one.

A good one I heard recently was "Head of the War Office". :pac:

Who's 'her'?

The cat's mother?



/everyone's mother

Sam Kade

The bitch and the dragon
The wife and the mother in law

Estrellita

'The enemy' as Delboy would say

I do find the insertion of 'the' before mother or missus to be dismissive. It is a bit 'her in there', and does seem to be an unfeeling or disrespectful referral to someone.

I wouldn't find 'missus' a particularly endearing term if I'm honest. Oh, and if any of my children ever referred to me as 'the mother' they would want to run. I am not an object

I don't mind The Missus. I call the chap The Chap so I can hardly complain. I often say The Mother etc. I've never given any of it a second thought.

Widdershins

RayM wrote: »

Better to use "the" and sound dismissive than to use "my" and accidentally lead people to believe that you're referring to someone whom you deeply love.

Couldn't have people thinking you hold your wife or mum in high regard

(well, not you, them)

sbsquarepants

I always call my missus, my missus.

I don't really know what else I could call her?

We aren't married so she's not my wife.
We're neither gay, nor in the Yukon prospecting for gold, so partner is out.
We're together for well over a decade so girlfriend doesn't feel right either.

So, missus it is.

Or alternatively - the mot

Academic

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I always call my missus, my missus.

I don't really know what else I could call her?

We aren't married so she's not my wife.
We're neither gay, nor in the Yukon prospecting for gold, so partner is out.
We're together for well over a decade so girlfriend doesn't feel right either.

So, missus it is.

Or alternatively - the mot

Personally, I see "partner" as quite neutral and quite appropriate for all unmarried couples.

jprboy

Will ask the ball and chain when I've finished folding her smalls

andekwarhola

Widdershins wrote: »

It's the ''The'' bit that I dislike. ''My missus' or ''my mother'' is ok. ''The missus'' sounds like they're distancing themself from her. I think immature men do it more than most.

Do you seriously think that every person that says something like The Aul Fella, The Missus, The Fella is consciously distancing themselves from the subject?

I generally despise the general politcal implications of the phrase, 'snowflake' but in this case, it's perfectly valid.

People mining the most nominal seams of discourse looking for micro-instances of offence in order to to present themselves in a more righteous light.

sbsquarepants

Academic wrote: »

Personally, I see "partner" as quite neutral and quite appropriate for all unmarried couples.

Sounds gayer than mardi gras to me!

Widdershins

andekwarhola wrote: »

Do you seriously think that every person that says something like The Aul Fella, The Missus, The Fella is consciously distancing themselves from the subject?

I generally despise the general politcal implications of the phrase, 'snowflake' but in this case, it's perfectly valid.

People mining the most nominal seams of discourse looking for micro-instances of offence in order to to present themselves in a more righteous light.

Do you seriously read that much into every comment?
I believe some people are emotionally immature enough to do it, whether consciously or subconsciously.

Academic

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Sounds gayer than mardi gras to me!

:rolleyes: