Don't know where to start

ja1986

Really struggling with body confidence at the moment. It hit me earlier when I was sitting down that I felt so bloated that you could pop a pin in me and I'd burst. I feel horrible in my clothes, I don't feel attractive anymore as much as i try to do myself up. I don't feel like my partner is interested in me being this size ( that part is all in my head , he actually hasn't ever said anything negative about my size).

A bit of background I suppose. I'm 31 with a 1 and 3 year old. I work part time .have a lot of help from family if i ever need a sitter. I'm 5'5 and 12.6 st. All my weight is actually fat.i have it on my arm's, I feel I'l have an overhang from a c section on my stomach.my thighs are thunder thighs.

I just cannot break my grazing habits. I wake up at 7 with the baby, have a few coffees. Properly wouldn't eat anything until 11/12. Something small.or toast whatever.il pick until dinner which could be a rice dish or meat with potatoes or homemade chips with something else ECT.. I sit down when the kids are asleep at 9ish for a cup of tea but I'l need chocolate with the tea. Had two bars tonight already. I would have a bottle of wine at the weekend or a few bottles at home.

Today mam offered to babysit if I wanted to go to the gym and I asked could I have an hour's sleep instead. I'm so tired all the time. I should have just sucked it up and went to the gym.

I dunno what I'm looking for in this post but I know I'm struggling with making a first move or change. I'm lacking real motivation .
Thanks for any help.

Tinwhistle*

Hi ja1986

I know exactly how you are feeling, I've felt the same for years on and off. I'm in my early 50's now and I've just gone back to Slimming World for the third time! My eating habits sound just like yours, and I have the c-section overhang too, not sure that will ever go away unless I have surgery.

Anyway, just by posting here you've made a good choice, little steps will get you to where you want to be. I always set a date for a new start, so maybe August 1st is a good date for you

T* x

uck51js9zml2yt

2 young kids is hard work. Don't underestimate it.
Start with your diet and then look at the gym another time.
And cut out the bars;)

What does your partner do to give you a break?

Ninja_Go

If you're tired all the time get your thyroid checked, I was flat out for weeks on end and turns out I've an underactive thyroid which leaves me totally fatigued

Two little kids will tire you out too though, don't be too hard on yourself!

ja1986

Thanks for the replys. I dunno I'm just always having a slump at around 3 or 4 I'm absolutely shattered. I feel I should be using my free time more proactively. My partner is great.hes out 7 until 6 everyday but I can do whatever I need to in the evenings or weekends it's not a problem.

I have all the slimming world books I'm on numerous Facebook groups following it. Iv tried it twice and didn't have great losses. But then I didn't stick to long to the plan to find out. Maybe 3rd time lucky.

Tinwhistle*

I suggest you don't have any goodies in the house.

I agree with tatranska, leave the gym out of it and concentrate on changing your eating habits first. Do you walk? I try to do a 20 minute brisk walk three/four times a week.

njs030

Fixing your diet is the place to start, have you been to the doctor to get blood tests? Your body is still recovering from pregnancy so you could be lacking in vitamins like iron or b vitamins.

Once you get your diet sorted and start doing small bits of exercise like walking you'll find you've more energy for more.

uncle_sam_ie

Try setting a goal with just one thing. Like no chocolate with the tea. Then work your way up from there.

mathie

OP try some substitution.
I used to have 1 or 2 bars of chocolate with my afternoon tea.
Then a packet of biscuits and the rest with my evening tea.

I (over many weeks) changed the chocolate to dark chocolate and gradually reduced the amount to the point where I didn't need any.

In the evenings I started to have porridge with berries and bananas and found that satisfied my need for a sugar hit and also kept the cravings away.
After finishing the porridge at 7pm I'd have no desire to eat that evening.

Best of luck.

HeidiHeidi

OP, I was very like you until recently. Felt totally out of control, didn't know where to start, had PILED on the weight (to much heavier than you, and I'm a lot older than you!). I don't have kids though, so lifestyle not really comparable - although I do shift work which is a different challenge.

I changed quite a lot all of a sudden about 3 months ago - maybe too suddenly! - and I won't bore you with all of that.

But I think the biggest factor was MAKING myself eat first thing when I get up (which is sometimes 6am, and I can barely even face coffee at that hour). I was like you, could happily do without food until 3 or 4 in the afternoon, but would then eat and graze all night and go to bed stuffed - no wonder I wasn't able for breakfast in the morning!

The early early mornings I still can't face food, so I've taken to having protein shakes with a spoon of peanut butter. I've never been able to do porridge, despite my best efforts - it just makes me gag - and if I start on bread I usually can't stop. So the shake is filling, easy, quick and (for me) very palatable.

Maybe it's just kick-starting a routine every day, but I find it much, much easier to control what I eat during the day now. And I don't find myself grazing in the evenings as I'm eating about 5 small meals throughout the day, which means I never get starving.

As I said, I've changed loads of other stuff (including my level of activity, hugely) so it's not just down to the shakes! But it's one thing that would be easy to do for you, might just make your food intake a bit easier to regulate over the day if you start the day on the right foot.

Good luck! I know how it feels - horrible - but if you can manage to make one small change then you'll manage another, and then another......

ja1986

Thanks so much everyone for all the support. I woke up this morning a bit more positive. Iv just made myself an omelette with veg and had a piece of fruit. The small changes in going to make from now on would be getting rid of the sweets in the evening, having a breakfast so I'm not leaving myself get hungry and I'l kick the fizzy drinks habit. I'm not even hungry in the evenings for the chocolate it's just a pure habit.

I do have whey protein here so I might even have a shake throughout the day to fill me up.

Dixie Chick

Hi there!!

Oh you sound so tired. Can I just say, that 3 or 4pm slump is probably down to you have little or no fuel in the body to that point. No wonder come evening time when your hubby is home and you relax that you are grabbing for sugar and fat, you are malnourished by the sounds of it

If you can get used to having a small breakfast at maybe 9 or so- have you ever tried overnight oats or something similar or fast to eat and then maybe take it a week at a time building up new habits as opposed to trying to go all gung ho immediately?

Best of luck with it, sounds like you are just in a rut but it is workable !

omb0wyn5ehpij9

Dixie Chick wrote: »

Can I just say, that 3 or 4pm slump is probably down to you have little or no fuel in the body to that point

Exactly what I was about to say. You need to fuel your body. I'm sure you are feeding the kids nutritious meals throughout the day, when you are making these meals for the kids, make something for yourself.

ja1986

Dixie Chick wrote: »

Hi there!!

Oh you sound so tired. Can I just say, that 3 or 4pm slump is probably down to you have little or no fuel in the body to that point. No wonder come evening time when your hubby is home and you relax that you are grabbing for sugar and fat, you are malnourished by the sounds of it

If you can get used to having a small breakfast at maybe 9 or so- have you ever tried overnight oats or something similar or fast to eat and then maybe take it a week at a time building up new habits as opposed to trying to go all gung ho immediately?

Best of luck with it, sounds like you are just in a rut but it is workable !

Ya I really need to start eating properly. Will try those oats. Would the oats be too heavy to eat at night as a dessert rather than the chocolate

gypsylee

From your post I would say you are not eating enough. No wonder you are tired mid-afternoon. You need food for energy!

Aim to have three meals and two healthy snacks a day. Have the meals at the same time each day, say breakfast at 8.30, snack of fruit at 11.00, lunch at 1.00, snack at 3.30 and dinner in the evening. Have some protein at lunch and dinner. Eggs are great so you have made a good start with the omelette. Are you drinking enough water? Aim to have 2 litres a day to flush out the toxins and hydrate you. I start each day with a mug of hot water and lemon to flush out the overnight toxins.

Once you start eating and drinking right you will feel more inclined to exercise. Even a good brisk walk with the kids in a buggy will improve your mental attitude. It's a win win and it's free!

Good luck with your lifestyle change, it won't take too long to notice the difference in how you feel if you change your eating habits.

Dixie Chick

They are a way better choice than chocolate so if you can swap them out then that would be really great progress. I would not get too bogged down in advice people can give, like food timings and not eating after 6pm and other over fussy things that might be more in line with their own targets. You need to start eating more and better foods and get that established before you go on any quickloss route as in the long run it will stand to you. By eating regularily and losing or cutting back on the bars of chocolate you will feel more energy and then you can start working on the next step.

scarepanda

OP I'm similar to you. I have a 1 yr old and I'm addicted to sugar. It's actually ridiculous how bad it is!

Anyways, I hit a rock bottom last November
All I changed was my eating habits, cut out the junk, bread, reduced milk intake. Increased water, and allowed myself unlimited fruit and veg. Porridge and honey for breakfast, something simple like scrambled eggs for lunch and a smaller portion of whatever was going for dinner (that way I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything). I also got rid of the sweet press, except for a box of roses. Everyday I didn't touch it was a good day!
Anyways, just by doing that I lost on average 1kg over 5 weeks ( I was also breastfeeding). Unfortunately for me Christmas came to quickly and all my good work went down the drain except for one thing.... I knew i could do it when I set my mind to it.

It's only in the last few weeks iv hit the same rock bottom but this week I'm back on track. Same as above only I'm aiming on walking at least 5km a day (or 5km 5 days a week) as I have a weight loss target with an end date, so I need to loose it a bit quicker than normal. Anyways in 4 days I'm down .6kg! It's only the start for me, but I'm hoping I can keep it up!

One other thing I did was plan for a treat night ahead of time. Buy whatever treats you want, eat them that night and whatever is left over goes straight into the bin BEFORE you go to bed. No leaving it till the morning because then you won't be able to skip them! When I'm in the frame of mind I'm currently in I also see it as a challenge to not take the biscuit or bar or whatever else is on offer if I'm visiting someone and when I don't then it's a mini victory!

Best of luck OP!

ja1986

Oh well done you. It's the staying power I don't have.if I don't have a big loss the first week then it's back to sabotaging myself. I feel like I really need to do it this time I don't want to spend my 30s disgusted with myself.
Anyway 7 hours in I'm doing good haha

guil

One thing I will say is try cut out sugar as much as possible. I drive a truck and was always sure I needed sugary food to stay awake, fast forward a few years and I had put on 8 stone. Over the last year and a half I've lost between 5 and 6 stone and most of that was cutting out sugar but I eat loads of fruit even though that still has sugar. Obviously that's not all I done but it's a start and should be manageable. Good luck with it anyway.

mathie

guil wrote: »

One thing I will say is try cut out sugar as much as possible. I drive a truck and was always sure I needed sugary food to stay awake, fast forward a few years and I had put on 8 stone. Over the last year and a half I've lost between 5 and 6 stone and most of that was cutting out sugar but I eat loads of fruit even though that still has sugar. Obviously that's not all I done but it's a start and should be manageable. Good luck with it anyway.

Fruit also has fiber which makes it easier for your body to deal with.

ja1986

Actually starving now. Had nothing since the breakfast I never really have lunches.

scarepanda

ja1986 wrote:

Actually starving now. Had nothing since the breakfast I never really have lunches.

Eat your lunch! When your hungry outside of meal times drink plenty of water and if your still a bit peckish eat some fruit! It's way easier said than done though!

HeidiHeidi

ja1986 wrote: »

Actually starving now. Had nothing since the breakfast I never really have lunches.

You need to get into the habit of eating regularly. Set an alarm or something!

Getting to the point of being starving will achieve nothing, and may lead to binging (it certainly did with me anyhow). Small meals, regularly. Without fail.

ja1986

Ya this is where I slip up all the time .I was busy playing with the baby and bathing her and feeding the kids so I forget about myself and I end up grazing all the time. Think I need to so that alarm or have a good diary. I just had a yougart and banana and I'm still hungry.this is where I'd go for the crisps now. I'l have water and start an early dinner I think.
Thanks for being with me today everyone!

ja1986

ja1986 wrote: »

Ya this is where I slip up all the time .I was busy playing with the baby and bathing her and feeding the kids so I forget about myself and I end up grazing all the time. Think I need to so that alarm or have a good diary. I just had a yougart and banana and I'm still hungry.this is where I'd go for the crisps now. I'l have water and start an early dinner I think.
Thanks for being with me today everyone!

Spelling mistakes sorry!

Dial Hard

gypsylee wrote:

I start each day with a mug of hot water and lemon to flush out the overnight toxins.

What overnight toxins might these be?

Alf Veedersane

Dial Hard wrote: »

What overnight toxins might these be?

The ones implanted by the lizard people.

guil

ja1986 wrote: »

Ya this is where I slip up all the time .I was busy playing with the baby and bathing her and feeding the kids so I forget about myself and I end up grazing all the time. Think I need to so that alarm or have a good diary. I just had a yougart and banana and I'm still hungry.this is where I'd go for the crisps now. I'l have water and start an early dinner I think.
Thanks for being with me today everyone!

Believe it or not a lot of the time when I get hungry I have a drink of water and more times than not the hunger goes away. Supposedly our bodies signs for needing water is the same as hunger.

Cake Man

gypsylee wrote: »

Aim to have 2 litres a day to flush out the toxins and hydrate you. I start each day with a mug of hot water and lemon to flush out the overnight toxins.

LOL

ja1986

I just want to update this to show how yesterday went.
Up since 6.30
11ish had omelette and plum
4ish had low fat yougart and banana
6 had homemade chicken curry

So I was starving at 4 and reached for the yougart and was still hungry so had dinner at 6 and around 9 was hungry again .
I didn't go for the chocolate! But had a sausage sandwich which is probably worst.

I didn't have any carbs until dinner at 6, maybe this is why I was so hungry. Should have tracked my calorie intake yesterday to see why I was peckish

Dixie Chick

Morning !! Sounds like you made good efforts yesterday and well done on the no chocolate!! You are probably still not eating enough during the day, hence needing the sausage sambo but I think you are more aware now so a really fab start!!

Just for an example of my own food yesterday
B - Porridge with an apple and half a banan blended in (makes is nice and sweet)
S- hard boiled egg (I always have a few of these ready in the fridge, great to grab)
L- Spicy beans and a slice of toast (this was peppers, mushrooms and onions fried off, added half a tin of butter beans and used chilli and smoked paprika spices )
D- Spaghetti bolognese
S- Glenisk vanilla yogurt.

That might seem like a lot but I am on a personal mission to eat lots earlier in day as I can have a wandering hand in the evening myself otherwise!