messed up yet again

LegacyUser

I do have blatant trust issues
I think I will have to go see a counsillor.

That guy was really kind/good to me and I screwed it up once again.

I am sad I ruined what I think may have been a very good thing.

Thanks for advice.I try not to ruin next one.

Jixa

Hi OP,

I think if you were to take a break from dating and trying to meet somebody for a while and focused on a new social group or a new hobby it might be beneficial. If you were to become more comfortable in yourself, find happiness and self clarification somewhere other than a new relationship it might make things easier in future relationships. It seems to me like you really rely on a partner to bring complete and utter happiness and satisfaction to your life, and you seem quite demanding in trying to get it to the point where someone is like "Ah here, I'm outta here!" . You should be happy, feel confident and comfortable with yourself before starting a new relationship, to a certain extent anyway. This will take a lot of pressure off a new partner to make you feel these things.

I think you also need to appreciate the fact that people like their own space and like being on their own sometimes. Especially at the start of a new relationship, someone may be really used to being able to make dinner and walk their dog without being hounded by text messages and calls. I know if I was in his position I would've probably been ignoring you too just for the sake of some peace and quiet. And he could have well left his phone at home on purpose for a few minutes on his own after work, it's really not a lot to ask for and a lot of people would expect this to be respected.

I do think there are some underlying issues that you have with yourself that you really need to think about and sort out before you date again or you'll end up in the same situation again and again.

LegacyUser

I am going to take a break and get more comfortable with myself:)
I ruined what could have been a very good thing and will always regret that now.
Good guys that you feel something for are hard to come by!

LegacyUser

Do you think I should send a sorry card or something?
I know definitely no going back or anything.
Pissed with myself cos he was everything I wanted an I had it and then threw it all away:(

Estrellita

snowya wrote: »

Do you think I should send a sorry card or something?
I know definitely no going back or anything.
Pissed with myself cos he was everything I wanted an I had it and then threw it all away:(

Snowya, we can't tell you what to do. If I were in your shoes I would not. I think you've been doing a lot of reflecting, and it's a good thing in the sense that hopefully you wouldn't repeat those mistakes again with someone in the future.

But as far as your ex is concerned, that ship has sailed. Sending I'm sorry cards will just seem weird to him I think. You weren't even going out that long, and it was too early in the relationship for you to have the issues you did. You're better off cutting ties and moving on. I can't say I've ever heard of someone sending an 'Im sorry' card post split up. I think that he is unlikely to respond.

Just get on with your life. You have to, there's no way back to where you were with him.

Sephiroth_dude

snowya wrote: »

Do you think I should send a sorry card or something?
I know definitely no going back or anything.
Pissed with myself cos he was everything I wanted an I had it and then threw it all away:(

Don't do this, I get your disappointed it didn't work out, you need too stop putting him on such a high pedestal, it just wasn't meant too be, do you have any hobbies you could immerse yourself in? keep yourself busy and working on your issues is key here.