The podcast/ Facebook group

Lead

Has anyone heard the latest It Galz podcast about consent and what do you think?

I'm fuming! I'm so angry at those two uneducated idiots saying you weren't raped if it wasn't violent.

idunno78

Didn't listen to it but read a lot of comments about it! Read a bit on twitter to!
They come across very bad and a lot of people seem to be hurt! Thankfully the topic does not affect me but I can't imagine how it would affect people it has.
The comments on their twitter make them sound really uneducated and like they just did this to make them more in the public eye! (Just my opinion).
I read the apology and the way (from what I've read) went on about Rosemary was terrible seeing as one of the girls experience was really similar to Rosemarys. Hopefully she is ok and gets an apology aswell!

Lead

Don't think there's a way of listening to it now. You really wouldn't want to, it was awful

Jthreehats

Lead wrote: »

Has anyone heard the latest It Galz podcast about consent and what do you think?

I'm fuming! I'm so angry at those two uneducated idiots saying you weren't raped if it wasn't violent.

They never said that, what they spoke about was consent, if there is no threat to you physically or otherwise and you have a choice to stop the encounter but choose to consent, and then regret it later. Some people are calling that rape. And that's wrong. If you have a choice. Like in rosemaries article, she chose to have sex rather than tell the guy she wasn't interested. rape is when your choice is removed.

RoisinClare6

I listened to it, didn't appreciate the laughter in it for the topic that it was. They aren't handling the criticisms well either. They were apparently blocking people and deleting people telling their stories which bothered me because at the start of the podcast that it was their opinion and they should be allowed to voice it basically, yet that courtesy wasn't extended to others on their platform. I can see how people took it up and can see it from both sides.

Jthreehats

wrote:

<snipped>

No they Really didn't, and they think, like many others that rosemaries article was irresponsible and dangerous, The women that think that type of encounter is rape got majorly pissed off when the idea of personal responsibility in situations such as rosemaries was brought up. they were called rape apologists and everything else. And then a suicide attempt was put down to their conversation on the podcast. Rosemary took to twitter and her followers came out with pitchforks, Absolutely mental.

RoisinClare6

Jthreehats wrote: »

No they Really didn't, and they think, like many others that rosemaries article was irresponsible and dangerous, The women that think that type of encounter is rape got majorly pissed off when the idea of personal responsibility in situations such as rosemaries was brought up. they were called rape apologists and everything else. And then a suicide attempt was put down to their conversation on the podcast. Rosemary took to twitter and her followers came out with pitchforks, Absolutely mental.

it wasn't all rosemary though, I had seen it on a popular snapchat group before rosemary put anything up

Jthreehats

RoisinClare6 wrote: »

it wasn't all rosemary though, I had seen it on a popular snapchat group before rosemary put anything up

I don't know the Snapchat group, she called them rape apologists and victim blamers from her platform with 40 odd thousand followers.

RoisinClare6

Jthreehats wrote: »

I don't know the Snapchat group, she called them rape apologists and victim blamers from her platform with 40 odd thousand followers.

One group had 1,500+ and the other 18,000+ in the other group, each group was discussing them on facebook, quite a few in the snapchat group have a large following on their personal snapchat accounts so it was discussed by many people not just after rosemarys tweets. Another group got wind after that with another following of one thousand plus.

At the end of the day, they put their views out for the world to hear which they are entitled to do, the same as people can have an opinion about the content they put out there. Rosemary was voicing her opinion on a public forum just like the other two did.

They said at the start they would talk about things even if it their views did not correlate to popular opinions. On such a big topic heavy critic was to be expected. Considering they used rosemary as an example there was no shadow of a doubt that she would reply. Like in the podcast they explained that rosemary often posted her blogs to their group, saying she was looking for traffic on her blog and to start a conversation which often got heated and lots of people spoke about on the page. So they themselves knew what they were doing by including her and therefore used her platform to start a conversation and get his just as she had done previously.

They were well aware of what they were doing.

Jthreehats

RoisinClare6 wrote: »

One group had 1,500+ and the other 18,000+ in the other group, each group was discussing them on facebook, quite a few in the snapchat group have a large following on their personal snapchat accounts so it was discussed by many people not just after rosemarys tweets. Another group got wind after that with another following of one thousand plus.

At the end of the day, they put their views out for the world to hear which they are entitled to do, the same as people can have an opinion about the content they put out there. Rosemary was voicing her opinion on a public forum just like the other two did.

They said at the start they would talk about things even if it their views did not correlate to popular opinions. On such a big topic heavy critic was to be expected. Considering they used rosemary as an example there was no shadow of a doubt that she would reply. Like in the podcast they explained that rosemary often posted her blogs to their group, saying she was looking for traffic on her blog and to start a conversation which often got heated and lots of people spoke about on the page. So they themselves knew what they were doing by including her and therefore used her platform to start a conversation and get his just as she had done previously.

They were well aware of what they were doing.

I don't think they were aware a discussion about popular warped ideas of what constitutes rape. Would be taken as them blaming victims of rape, they talked about responsibility with regard to consent, regret, personal responsibility and the repercussions of watered down 'rape experiences ' and the men involved

RoisinClare6

Jthreehats wrote: »

I don't think they were aware a discussion about popular warped ideas of what constitutes rape. Would be taken as them blaming victims of rape, they talked about responsibility with regard to consent, regret, personal responsibility and the repercussions of watered down 'rape experiences ' and the men involved

I'm sure they are well aware of peoples varying opinions as the topic has be discussed on numerous platforms before including their own when rosemary posted the blog to their facebook group awhile back, like when it was discussed in the past few days there was highly different opinions. Deleting peoples comments sharing their experiences and blocking them hasn't helped them in the slightest, people will take that as being censored or silenced, which is a bit hypocritical considering they were saying theyhave the right to share their opinions. I'm not saying what is said about them is true or that people who are of the the opposite opinion are right but I don't think the uproar lies entirely on rosemarys shoulders as explained above it was discussed at length and thoughts brought to them before she tweeted. That's all I'm saying.

Jthreehats

RoisinClare6 wrote: »

I'm sure they are well aware of peoples varying opinions as the topic has be discussed on numerous platforms before including their own when rosemary posted the blog to their facebook group awhile back, like when it was discussed in the past few days there was highly different opinions. Deleting peoples comments sharing their experiences and blocking them hasn't helped them in the slightest, people will take that as being censored or silenced, which is a bit hypocritical considering they were saying theyhave the right to share their opinions. I'm not saying what is said about them is true or that people who are of the the opposite opinion are right but I don't think the uproar lies entirely on rosemarys shoulders as explained above it was discussed at length and thoughts brought to them before she tweeted. That's all I'm saying.

Yeah, no I would agree with you, I don't think it rosemaries fault that a conversation about consent was taken up as victim blaming and rape apologising, but I do think she tried to sway her followers to think that, and used her platform to do so.

Dolbert

Sorry but where did Rosemary revoke consent? She said no repeatedly, the guy didn't take no for an answer. Don't state things that are blatantly untrue just because you don't like a blogger. Some of the comments in that podcast were utterly disgusting ("You have to ask yourself if you could have got out of it") and had women blaming themselves for what happened to them all over again. Not to mention how appalling it is to openly dissect someone else's experience for content. I'm just shocked that one of them is apparently in marketing because that's one of the worst PR moves I've seen in a long time.

Jthreehats

Dolbert wrote: »

Sorry but where did Rosemary revoke consent? She said no repeatedly, the guy didn't take no for an answer. Don't state things that are blatantly untrue just because you don't like a blogger. Some of the comments in that podcast were utterly disgusting ("You have to ask yourself if you could have got out of it") and had women blaming themselves for what happened to them all over again. Not to mention how appalling it is to openly dissect someone else's experience for content. I'm just shocked that one of them is apparently in marketing because that's one of the worst PR moves I've seen in a long time.

Well if you are of the oppinion the experience rosemaries article outlines constitutes rape, then yeah I guess you would be annoyed by that being looked at. I don't think it was rape as she stated she chose to have sex rather than an awkward conversation, I think it's dangerous to say that type of encounter is rape. It's nothing to do with the blogger, it's to do with having a platform and asking people to look at experiences such as these and call them rape.

Dolbert

Rape by coercion is still rape. Non-violent rape is still rape. I can't believe we still have to have this conversation in this day and age. Rosemary didn't say yes, she stopped saying no because the guy wasn't listening anyway.

The podcast had so many people upset because some of it was absolute beyond the pale stuff. Feminists my foot

Here's a link to some quotes from it:
https://twitter.com/niamhmccormax/status/877924218230366209

Dolbert

You must have took up a different meaning from the blog post to me so, that's not how I read it. The podcast mirrors the majority opinion of the AH thread going at the time so it wouldn't be that out there in terms of how people think.

Jthreehats

these 'receipts are taken completely out of context, and they never mentioned rape survivors, they spoke about consent and responsibility. if you can get out of a situation ie say 'hey I dont fancy you' but you consent instead and then call it rape. is that rape? that ws the question they asked. nothing about victim blaming.

Dolbert

"if you can get out of a situation ie say 'hey I dont fancy you' but you consent instead and then call it rape."

But she didn't consent?

Dolbert

So she said yes? Like I said, must've been reading a different blogpost

Dolbert

Righty-o.

Jthreehats

Dolbert wrote: »

"if you can get out of a situation ie say 'hey I dont fancy you' but you consent instead and then call it rape."

But she didn't consent?

In my opinion she did, she chose to have sex. If your opinion is otherwise that's fine.

ibarelycare

Whilst I agree with what the girls were saying in the Podcast about RMC's specific situation, and I respect their right to haven an opinion, choosing to discuss it was completely ill-advised and downright stupid especially considering they admin a FB page of ~18k women with a very strong feminist tone. Outside of discussing RMC's case, they continuously victim-blamed women who are raped when they're too drunk. Also the way they went about it was very bad, and their actions in the aftermath were very damaging and upsetting to a lot of people.

Lindsay said in the podcast that there was an incident that happened to her and she was told by the RCC that it was rape. She said it wasn't rape. When they were facing a load of backlash she turned it around and said that she was raped and that she was a victim.

They blocked people from the FB page for disagreeing with them and for telling their own rape stories.

RMC blocked them on Twitter and they accused her of "shutting down" conversation, even though they themselves had done the exact same thing.

One of them has left the FB page, the other one spent half the weekend crying on Snapchat over the backlash, and the rest of it twerking and showing off her Bulmers grab bag at Body and Soul :pac:

Lindy97

Jthreehats wrote: »

Lead wrote: »

Has anyone heard the latest It Galz podcast about consent and what do you think?

I'm fuming! I'm so angry at those two uneducated idiots saying you weren't raped if it wasn't violent.

They never said that, what they spoke about was consent, if there is no threat to you physically or otherwise and you have a choice to stop the encounter but choose to consent, and then regret it later. Some people are calling that rape. And that's wrong. If you have a choice. Like in rosemaries article, she chose to have sex rather than tell the guy she wasn't interested. rape is when your choice is removed.

Not strictly true, one said that if you can get out of the situation then she doesnt class it as rape, completely discounting the reaction that a lot of women have felt where they freeze and just let it happen, almost like they shut down and leave their body to deal with what's happening. According to one of them, the implication being that if you're not being physically restrained or beaten then yeah you can get out of it so it's not rape.
The whole thing started as a dig at Rosemary, which fair enough they dont like her but the rant about her at the start was completely unnecessary given the serious subject matter "she used our site for hits, blah blah blah, but here's our take on her rape without actually naming her"
They also said that if you had too much to drink, you weren't being responsible and therefore were leaving yourself more open to rape...she then went off to Body and Soul sponsored by Bulmers, so yeah.....
The whole thing was on very shaky ground, and very victim blamey in it's language, even saying what about the poor guys whose lives could be ruined??. They said they welcomed any discussion on it yet when were heavily criticised for it, one went on a blocking spree on said facebook site and blocked a lot of victims of rape who called her out on her bull.

ibarelycare

Lindsay has closed her FB account now and the Mas who Drink group has been archived.

pc7

A new group has been set up now by someone else!

Lindy97

Can a group be taken out of the archive and reopened? Or is that it?

ibarelycare

Lindy97 wrote: »

Can a group be taken out of the archive and reopened? Or is that it?

I think it can. But I reckon they might be just closing it down. Apparently you can't close a group when there are still members in it so they might be archiving it so they can delete everyone and then just delete the group altogether. There are no admins left on the group either.

mel123

Im not on FB or insta, its snapchat only for me (and boards).
I couldnt believe it yesterday when Lindsey put up a snap saying she archived the page. Things didnt go her way, so she god rid of it, how childish.
I have read about the backlash, seen a few screenshots and the like, but then i saw her pissed all weekend having a grand aul time at body and soul - she didnt look too distraught about all the drama to me. Im not saying she should be at home crying in to her pillow, but as a blogger you have to take the good with the bad, address it, and move on. Deleting the pages and podcasts to me was a mistake.

SB_Part2

mel123 wrote: »

Im not on FB or insta, its snapchat only for me (and boards).
I couldnt believe it yesterday when Lindsey put up a snap saying she archived the page. Things didnt go her way, so she god rid of it, how childish.
I have read about the backlash, seen a few screenshots and the like, but then i saw her pissed all weekend having a grand aul time at body and soul - she didnt look too distraught about all the drama to me. Im not saying she should be at home crying in to her pillow, but as a blogger you have to take the good with the bad, address it, and move on. Deleting the pages and podcasts to me was a mistake.

Someone mailed her giving her abuse and said that she wasn't raped she was just easy.

She was also being accused of being the sole reason someone tried to commit suicide.

TBH I don't blame her for archiving the group.

Dolbert

SB_Part2 wrote: »

Someone mailed her giving her abuse and said that she wasn't raped she was just easy.

She was also being accused of being the sole reason someone tried to commit suicide.

TBH I don't blame her for archiving the group.

In some ways social media facilitates the few psychos who always have to take it too far. You don't like someone on the internet? Great, just ignore them and get on with your life like a normal person! But instead you get the virtual stalkers simultaneously taking the moral high ground while engaging in abuse and harassment. You'd have to wonder what someone's life has come to to think that's a normal sane thing to do.

Lindy97

Obviously anyone sending her abuse is not on and totally negates their argument against what was said in the podcast and on twitter