Couples splitting rent

paulieeye

I agree with who ever said that it should be 50/50 unless he volunteers. Ur paying more than u were before yes but thats because ur getting a better product in that u now longer have to house share with others. Like he's in the same situation, he would of been able to save even more if he was house sharing with 4 people in total too.

ur both using half the place so should pay half. Course he could always offer to pay more but thats up to him. I offered to pay more when I was sharing with GF but she never asked and actually insisted on me paying less than I offered.

Murrisk

MayoSalmon wrote: »

50/50 equality feminism all that no?!!

The female is often the higher earner these days so paying proportionately doesn't mean the male is worse off.

MayoSalmon

Murrisk wrote:

The female is often the higher earner these days so paying proportionately doesn't mean the male is worse off.

You mean the Gender Pay Gap is actually for male pay equality?! Fantastic

When we first moved in together we did it based on income as I earned a lot more than he did. Also the rent in our house was expensive for the time.

His pay has since increased so we now split it 50/50. Our rent has never changed so we are paying below market rate. We have always paid 50/50 with regards bills.

theteal

One_Of_Shanks wrote: »

Ah well most people just mean staying together forever etc. Marriage is just a quick way of summing it up, for the purpose of this topic.

I'm not even married myself, despite being with herself for 14 years. But when people call her my wife I know what they mean. It saves time.

Is moving in together just for the craic? I'd assume the whole moving in would be the start of the rest of ye're lives. Marriage makes little to no difference on top of that. It just surprised me that a few people have made mention of the split being different depending marital status as opposed to accommodation status.

One_Of_Shanks

theteal wrote: »

Is moving in together just for the craic? I'd assume the whole moving in would be the start of the rest of ye're lives. Marriage makes little to no difference on top of that. It just surprised me that a few people have made mention of the split being different depending marital status as opposed to accommodation status.

Well I wrote 2 paragraphs of a reply already painstakingly mentioning "long-term" over and over again.
And then I replied back to you explaining that in this context the marriage thing was just people's way of saying a long term commitment.

And now you're back about it again. So I don't really know what else to say.
I was just trying to help out the OP with advice.
I never claimed to be an expert on marriage, I already said I'm not married myself.
You're getting hung up on a tangent here.
You could always start a thread about this question and besta luck if you do.

_Brian

anon808 wrote: »

As above, I'm just wondering how couples split rent when they are living together?
Do you do it 50/50? Based on income? Based on what you can afford? Savings?
Basically my partner and I moved in together about 2 months ago. We currently do everything 50/50 (rent and bills).?
It's actually working out more expensive for me now compared to when I was housesharing as everything was split between 4 of us then. I'm not on the breadline or anything but my savings ability has taken a huge hit and I'm now only saving 100-200 per month, compared to about 400-500 in the past, which is significant as I want to save a deposit for a house. He, on the other hand, is now saving more as he used to pay a lot more for rent and bills. Also, he earns about 2.5 times what I do and is saving circa 1000 a month.
Some friends said they used to pro-rata with their partner based on Net Income and others said they did it 50/50 as why should it cost someone more to live with their partner than if they didn't?
I'm just looking for opinions on how others do it. If enough people think I should raise it with him, I might. If not, I'll just leave it and keep going on as we are!

It's a long time ago now but the week we moved in together we opened a joint account and all money was pooled, all bills expenses paid from that. That was 1992, we were married in 1995, moneys been pooled ever since.
We've gone through periods where one or the other has been earning more, but it never mattered.

One_Of_Shanks

_Brian wrote: »

we were married in 1995

careful there. Yer not meant to mention the M word.

athtrasna

Moved from Accommodation and Property. Personal issues charter applies, please take time to read it if you're not familiar with it before posting

Mod

Big Bag of Chips

It's largely irrelevant what others do. As a couple you have to come to an agreement on what works for you. If something is bothering you in a relationship then of course you should talk to your partner. Then you can decide between you whether or not things should change.

Murrisk

Murrisk wrote: »

They don't necessarily work harder though. If the relationship proceeds to marriage this is a recipe for disaster.

Proceeding to marriage very soon actually and 50/50 is not changing!

Victor

catrionanic wrote: »

If you're in it for the long haul, then you're a partnership and should pool your finances.

_Brian wrote: »

It's a long time ago now but the week we moved in together we opened a joint account and all money was pooled, all bills expenses paid from that.

Be very careful with something like this. Each partner should always have some of their own money.

Alexia Repulsive Munitions wrote: »

All costs split 50/50 imo. I don't see fairness in one paying more than the other regardless of income. The higher earner should be left with more disposable income and should be able to save more as they earn more and are entitled to benefit from this.

What if the situation arose (injury, illness, redundancy) where one side wasn't able to cover their 50% of shared expenses at all, never mind discretionary spend?

MayoSalmon wrote: »

50/50 equality feminism all that no?!!

Balance.

Lyra Fangs

bertsmom wrote: »

As a lady I cannot understand why it should be less than 50/50. I have always been the partner on the lower income but I have always paid my half. Why should my partner pay more than I just because they have made better life decisions as regards education and job prospects etc.
I don't value promotions in work as it would have an effect on my work/ life balance but if my partner works hard and excels his pay becomes better why should I be rewarded by paying less? I use 50% I pay 50% end of.

Bit of a sweeping statement there? Maybe it's because they're further along in their career because they are, for example, a few years older. In the industry myself and my partner work in those few years can double your salary.

We used to split 50/50 when our salaries were relatively on par but now that there's a significant gap he pays more. It allows us access to apartments that are outside my budget (were we to split it evenly) but that are more convenient in terms of size and location.

Once both partners are happy with the arrangement that's all that really matters. In our case it's temporary as well so that helps.

Rachiee

Ask yourself why this arrangement seemed fair to you when you agreed to rent the place and now all of a sudden doesn't. Was it something a friend said or are you getting stressed about money and it's causing resentment to build.
Either way if it's bothering you you should talk about it but I wouldn't go in making demands (if 50/50 was fair then, it probably is still fair now)
But you might as well tell him that you are loving living together but it's tough that you are so much financially worse off at the moment. He might offer to pay more or might make more of an effort to treat you or he might just acknowledge your feelings.
P.S. for all you know his extra savings are going towards both of your futures.

anon808

Thanks to everyone for their responses so far.

It's really great to get all perspectives. I actually can see both sides and opinions and really appreciate all and any feedback. Some people had a few questions so I'll try to fill in the blanks. 

Who's idea it was? It was a mutual decision as both our leases were up around the same time and it just seemed like the next logical step in our relationship.

Why didn't I realise it would be more expensive? This is kind of a tough one as when we started looking, we had a smaller budget that was more in line with the rent I was paying. But with the market the way that it is, we felt under pressure to push out our budget to get something suitable. So I knew I would be taking an extra 100 hit a month to my savings -- fair enough, that one is on me and I am fine with that bit.

Where I am really hurting is that I really miscalculated how much more expensive it would be bills wise. eg having to split bills by 2 instead of 4. Even though its a smaller place, they aren't half what we use to pay. Also, we have a few more utilities compared to my last place (Sky, phone line, high speed broadband etc) as he is used to having these. Again, this is an oversight on my part and I fully hold my hands up. Doesn't really help my savings situation but is my fault I know. I also thought that day-to-day grocery bills would be less as my friends all seemed to spend less when they moved in with their partners but doesn't seem to be the case in our house! Again, stupid assumption on my part!

When I mentioned this to some friends recently, that's when the topic of splitting rent by income came up. To be honest, I hadn't even considered this until then. I actually fully think it should be 50/50 for rent and bills and have no problem with this. But it got me wondering what others do and wondering if the fact that we aren't doing this, does it mean that he isn't as serious about me as I am about him. Which some of the comments seem to indicate.

I'm still saving (albeit a lot less than I used to) for a mortgage (not necessarily MY mortgage, just a mortgage, obviously with him if it goes that way) so a lot of you are right, it will all work out in the end. But if that doesn't happen, (god I hate being so pessimistic) then I've taken a hit on my mortgage savings by moving in with him, where as he has padded his out that bit more by moving in with me.

As was advised, I will try to talk to him about this but I know its going to be awkward and difficult and I really don't know how I can do this without looking tight. I mean I am still saving so it's not like I'm on the breadline. And it sounds really bad saying "I don't want to be worse off if we break up" because that looks like I'm not committed.
Anyone got any more advice on how I can do this without coming across as either of those things??? :)

Addle

You can discuss it with your friends, and online...
Your first discussion should be with your OH.
Just set it out as you have above.

Victor

anon808 wrote: »

both our leases were up around the same time and it just seemed like the next logical step in our relationship.

Just to let people know that if they have been renting, as tenants (not licencees) for 6 months, they are entitled to a 'Part 4' lease for a total of 4 years and there is no obligation to move out after the (typical) 12 months. In rent pressure zones, this largely means that the landlord can't increase rent by more than 4% per year.

laserlad2010

anon808 wrote: »

When I mentioned this to some friends recently, that's when the topic of splitting rent by income came up. To be honest, I hadn't even considered this until then. I actually fully think it should be 50/50 for rent and bills and have no problem with this. But it got me wondering what others do and wondering if the fact that we aren't doing this, does it mean that he isn't as serious about me as I am about him. Which some of the comments seem to indicate.

What do you mean you think he isnt as serious about you as you are about him?

You earn X. You had Y disposable income when you lived in a houseshare. That's now changed because you're living in a two person household, obviously it's going to be more expensive?? It's a natural step in a relationship and brings its own drawbacks and advantages.

You're still saving and you have said yourself there are areas you could cut back on so that you can still save loads.

For what it's worth, you're basically asking him to pay more so that you can save more?? I'd be fine if you were struggling to have some personal spending and it was affecting your quality of life but it isn't, you're just waking up to the realities of life outside a houseshare!!

I'll warn you, if you approach this by accusing him of not loving you enough to pay more for your household costs, well, let us know how you get on:rolleyes::rolleyes:

You're far better off just being honest and asking him to contribute more so you can save more but to be frank even typing this out makes me a little annoyed so hopefully he's not like me!

MayoSalmon

Victor wrote:

Balance.

Nothing balanced about it, just taking more from the top (tall person) to give to bottom (short person). It's quite a good graphic in how the left views many issues in life, in so far as they genuinely think that unless they take more of the resources from elsewhere they will never been able to see over the metaphorical fence.

Tigger99

I'm female and when I lived with my first boyfriend I earned a good deal more and I insisted on paying more of the rent. I think anything else stingy and thoughtless.

There seems to be an assumption on here that this would just work one way, in terms of the guy automatically paying more.

syndrome777

If anything if you were fine without the extra bits that you are paying now( broadband, sky....) he should at least cover that, IMHO

SusieBlue

We split 50/50 but would be on similar income. However, he has more of his personal expenses taken care of by his employer (company car, phone and health insurance) whereas I pay for all of those expenses myself.
However, its been decided that when we have children I'll be quitting my job to stay at home until the child is aged 4 (ish) and we will be surviving off of his income. I'm not sure if this will be before or after marriage.

I agree that your OH should be covering the extras such as the Sky etc. seeing as they're his home comforts. I can understand your reluctance to ask him to cover more of the rent because I too would feel like I was asking for a handout (even though you totally aren't) but maybe asking him to take on one or two of those bills by himself would be preferable.
Maybe point out to him that you never had those bills in your old place and didn't really budget for them, so would it be possible to either get rid or have him take on the bill on his own? I don't think its an unreasonable request tbh.

witchgirl26

We split everything 50/50 as we both earn similar salaries. We did talk about changing that should 1 of us earn significantly more than the other but that it would only be in relation to rent itself and bills and food would be still be 50/50.

OP if you think the Sky etc is causing a drain on your savings, would it not be worth having the conversation about maybe getting rid of these? Looking at how much you use them realistically and seeing if they could be cut. My O/H is all for getting rid of Sky but I love it so I've offered to cover the cost of it myself as he doesn't use it.

I don't think it says anything about the seriousness of your relationship at all tbh.

unknowngirl!!

We split the rent 50:50. OH pays all bills and I pay for the food.

However, that being said we have a very casual agreement and if one of us has an unforeseen expense during the month the other pays more rent. For example, we are expecting our first baby in August and I just bought the cot and other baby things so my OH said not to transfer any money for rent this month.

It's very natural and we both know that ultimately everything is coming out of the same pot so it doesn't really matter who pays for what.

cefh17

I'll be moving in with my GF in the coming weeks, first time not living at home or house sharing with friends and we'll be doing it 50/50 even though I earn quite a bit more. What kind of balances it out for me is that I'll be moving further away from work as opposed to a ten minute walk and commuting at least an hour each way, whereas she'll be a short walk to work. It all comes down to the situation and what the people themselves come to an agreement on

DavyD_83

If you go on as you are, is it going to be an issue if/when you get to mortgage situation, if you are unable to contribute as much as he can for the deposit?

It sounds like you really need to just discuss it; the only fair way to arrange it is the way that you both agree on.
I also think that these sort of conversations and arrangements are a pretty good indicator of how compatible you are long term in terms of your financial views.
I could never have lived with and then married my girlfriend, now wife if we had completely different outlooks on this stuff, as it is inevitably going to be a regular source of tension.
Ours has always been 50/50 with a bit of give and take when either was earning more. My wife is now staying home with kids (which I am delighted about), so I'm covering all costs for the foreseeable. And I definitively don't think that the fact I will be earning all the money, gives me any greater ownership of, or entitlement to that money.

Like dating, and wondering if it is normal to split dinner/drinks costs 50/50, or for man to pay everything or greater share.
If a couple have directly opposing views, it isn't very workable.
But if you both agree anywhere on the spectrum, then happy days.

pwurple

As you're asking for experiences, we did it a this way... and this is looking back 20 years ago now, but anyway.

First place we lived together, I paid the rent, and he paid the bills... it came out roughly the same, but I was building up a credit history with a view to a mortgage. We kept our savings separately. I bought a small place with my savings, he rented a room off me for a few years. Then he bought a slightly bigger place with his savings, we lived in that and let the other out. Then we saved like billyo and bought a decent size place together, both now with our history of paying down mortgages. Then we got married, had kids etc, and the story continued.

But that was the general plan at the start, if you get me. Give or take a year or two, and various changes in jobs, we generally stuck to the jist of the original aim. I've always been a fan of the ten year masterplan, which can be adjusted as needed, and so was he, so it worked for us.

Parchment

Murrisk wrote: »

They don't necessarily work harder though. If the relationship proceeds to marriage this is a recipe for disaster.

I dont agree with this - what changes when you get married?

I am in a long term relationship - most people would be married at this stage but we have chosen not to. If we were married finances would carry on the same.

Colonel Panic

60:40 with me paying the greater amount.

sashafierce

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