Couples splitting rent

anon808 · 27-05-2017 01:08PM #1

As above, I'm just wondering how couples split rent when they are living together?
Do you do it 50/50? Based on income? Based on what you can afford? Savings?
Basically my partner and I moved in together about 2 months ago. We currently do everything 50/50 (rent and bills).
It's actually working out more expensive for me now compared to when I was housesharing as everything was split between 4 of us then. I'm not on the breadline or anything but my savings ability has taken a huge hit and I'm now only saving 100-200 per month, compared to about 400-500 in the past, which is significant as I want to save a deposit for a house. He, on the other hand, is now saving more as he used to pay a lot more for rent and bills. Also, he earns about 2.5 times what I do and is saving circa 1000 a month.
Some friends said they used to pro-rata with their partner based on Net Income and others said they did it 50/50 as why should it cost someone more to live with their partner than if they didn't?
I'm just looking for opinions on how others do it. If enough people think I should raise it with him, I might. If not, I'll just leave it and keep going on as we are!

Nervous Wreck · 27-05-2017 01:13PM

That's silly. If you want to raise it with him, do. You'll get mixed opinion here but it sounds like you want to raise it so do what you feel is best. There's no right answer. Couples agree different ways. Assuming you're planning on getting a mortgage with him, its probably safe enough to say that his savings will go towards that so maybe it'll all balance out. Either way, if it's bothering you, bring it up. But remember that the fact that it bothers you doesn't oblige him to agree to a change and he may not.

Rackstar · 27-05-2017 01:15PM

I wouldn't have agreed to move in together under those terms.

If he is earning more, he should pay a larger chunk.

I pay the majority of our mortgage as my partner doesn't earn as much.

listermint · 27-05-2017 01:16PM

Based on income,

Why because if you are going to marry or have children you can't continue a 50 50 charade.

Samuel T. Cogley · 27-05-2017 01:23PM

Until you're married 50/50

bertsmom · 27-05-2017 01:40PM

As a lady I cannot understand why it should be less than 50/50. I have always been the partner on the lower income but I have always paid my half. Why should my partner pay more than I just because they have made better life decisions as regards education and job prospects etc.
I don't value promotions in work as it would have an effect on my work/ life balance but if my partner works hard and excels his pay becomes better why should I be rewarded by paying less? I use 50% I pay 50% end of.

deathtocaptcha · 27-05-2017 02:00PM

50/50. Unless you're married or he volunteers to pay more, it's ridiculous to expect him to effectively subsidise your cost of living simply for being his partner.

It's like going out for a meal together as a couple and him paying only for his own share because he had less to eat... how would you feel about that?

Or if he uses less hot water than you for showers etc... he'd work out an average cost per shower / bath etc and bill you accordingly because you'd use it more...

You're opening up a big can of worms and if he retaliated with the same level of nitpicking you probably wouldn't like it...

LincolnHawk · 27-05-2017 02:02PM

I paid based on income in the past with the missus. We're married and now I pay 100%

myshirt · 27-05-2017 02:03PM

You should pay half of the rent, but a cap should kick in at 35% of your take home pay.

You can't be paying all your money on rent. Surely your partner will be reasonable here.

_Kaiser_ · 27-05-2017 02:05PM

To be honest, this seems like more a PI issue than anything else. You've moved in with this man but resent the impact it's having on your ability to save for your house, and resent him not being as affected because of his higher income.

If ye were "just friends" then yes, 50/50, but if you are supposed to be a couple I think ye need to have a chat about a more equitable split, and you might need to equally let go of saving for "your" house (are you not BOTH saving for that?) If you have moved in together then it must be serious enough and so surely you should be pulling together and supporting each other towards whatever future you're working towards?

Victor · 27-05-2017 02:37PM

Whose idea was it to move in together? Will studying that inform your decision?

CIARAN_BOYLE · 27-05-2017 02:51PM

Victor wrote: »

Whose idea was it to move in together? Will studying that inform your decision?

More importantly imo who picked the property.

If you wanted to rent a 1 bed apartment for 1k and he wants a 3 bed house for 2k then he should have to pay the extra.

syndrome777 · 27-05-2017 03:00PM

Victor wrote: »

Whose idea was it to move in together? Will studying that inform your decision?

this.

If I knew I would be paying more moving in with my bf....and especially if he earn multiple of my salary.....I wouldn't move in period.

If on the other hand I could pay more or less the same amount as I was paying house sharing I would move in with him.(and by what you are saying, he is now paying less....so he should be ok with paying more now, as he was paying more when you weren't living together)

it's not really fair that he can save 10x more than you , and you break up and then what, unles moving in was your idea, and you were prepared to pay more now, than 50/50 is fair.

evolving_doors · 27-05-2017 03:15PM

Depends how serious the relationship is.
Your question of fairness seems to be predicated on the assumption that ye might split up... he's quids in and you've foregone massive savings.

If yer seriously heading towards marriage then great, yer both saving about 1.2k a month.

At the moment yer in a transition phase.
Can you ever see a future time of going back to house share land? I think not. So forget about that saving situation from now on. Those days are over.

No easy answer.

Nervous Wreck · 27-05-2017 03:16PM

syndrome777 wrote: »

it's not really fair that he can save 10x more than you , and you break up and then what, unles moving in was your idea, and you were prepared to pay more now, than 50/50 is fair.

But from his side, he should save less and then they break up and he's down loads in his savings? 50/50 is what they decided so it is 100% fair in terms of the agreement. Renegotiationg that isn't a matter of fairness imo.

theniamh · 27-05-2017 03:27PM

my opinion is if you both picked the house to move into, you knew the rent before moving in. Surely that was the time to say, I cant afford to live here as my house saving will take a hit. Then at least ye could have looked for a cheaper house or he could have decided to pay more.

In my situation we are both paying 50/50 and our house savings go into a joint account. I earn more so i can save more, but once that money goes into the joint savings account its ours. but we sat down and talked it all out before the savings started.

If you dont say anything it will eat away at you. perhaps you should look for a cheaper place to rent as you cant keep up with the high rent costs and try to save.

syndrome777 · 27-05-2017 03:33PM

theniamh wrote: »

my opinion is if you both picked the house to move into, you knew the rent before moving in. Surely that was the time to say, I cant afford to live here as my house saving will take a hit. Then at least ye could have looked for a cheaper house or he could have decided to pay more.

In my situation we are both paying 50/50 and our house savings go into a joint account. I earn more so i can save more, but once that money goes into the joint savings account its ours. but we sat down and talked it all out before the savings started.

If you dont say anything it will eat away at you. perhaps you should look for a cheaper place to rent as you cant keep up with the high rent costs and try to save.

we are doing the exactly same thing. Split the rent 50/50 but I save more cuz I earn more. But all our saving go for house deposit.

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

But from his side, he should save less and then they break up and he's down loads in his savings? 50/50 is what they decided so it is 100% fair in terms of the agreement. Renegotiationg that isn't a matter of fairness imo.

true, if they haven't discussed this before they moved in

they still should. there will be a time to go for hollidays and stuff and you can do 50/50 is one is earning a lot less....well you can not do anything

Lau2976 · 27-05-2017 04:26PM

I pay 65% of the rent and he pays 35% because I work from home and have set up in the spare bedroom. He moved in with me and we were both renting alone so it worked out cheaper for both of us, but our system has been fairly simple, we have a household budget that we both contribute to at the start of each month, from this we deduct any bills, weekly grocery, rent and date money. Anything left in it rolls over to the next month for emergencies.

Anything else comes out of our personal accounts, like petrol or gym memberships, etc

It sounds like the issue is with your expectations of each other and the communication of those expectations. I would talk to him if I were you

Are you saving for a house together or is it you alone? How will you split it then? I think it's important to consider it now if its something you plan on doing with him in the future.

April 73 · 27-05-2017 04:46PM

For me it's totally dependant on what conversation you've had on future plans & what you discussed before you moved in together.
When myself & my now husband first lived together we split costs 50/50. Our incomes were fairly similar then though.

When things got more serious & we were engaged and saving for a house we pooled resources. At various times over the years whoever has been the higher earner has paid more.

Nowadays - married with kids - we put most of our earnings into the joint account and leave ourselves with the same amount of pure spending money each. So the mortgage, bills, food, expenses all come from the joint account & we each have our own money to spend (the same amount each regardless of who earns more) Obviously the higher earner contributes more to the joint account in this scenario. That seems reasonable to me but we're married & supporting kids together.

I think you might need to sit down & discuss this with your partner. Otherwise it'll fester & cause problems. Two separate people coming together like this always warrants discussion on the ground rules. Good luck.

BrokenWingz · 27-05-2017 04:46PM

We always split 50/50 and my income was just over half of his. I was set on knowing I was paying my own way and there could be no comeback of "but I pay more" in case of disagreement.

As the first reply said this obviously bothers you, so perhaps you should raise the subject for discussion and see what comes of it.

Dr_Kolossus · 27-05-2017 04:47PM

anon808 wrote: »

As above, I'm just wondering how couples split rent when they are living together?
Do you do it 50/50? Based on income? Based on what you can afford? Savings?
Basically my partner and I moved in together about 2 months ago. We currently do everything 50/50 (rent and bills).
It's actually working out more expensive for me now compared to when I was housesharing as everything was split between 4 of us then. I'm not on the breadline or anything but my savings ability has taken a huge hit and I'm now only saving 100-200 per month, compared to about 400-500 in the past, which is significant as I want to save a deposit for a house. He, on the other hand, is now saving more as he used to pay a lot more for rent and bills. Also, he earns about 2.5 times what I do and is saving circa 1000 a month.
Some friends said they used to pro-rata with their partner based on Net Income and others said they did it 50/50 as why should it cost someone more to live with their partner than if they didn't?
I'm just looking for opinions on how others do it. If enough people think I should raise it with him, I might. If not, I'll just leave it and keep going on as w

Was in the same situation with my now wife. She didn't earn quite as much as me, but insistence on paying half the rent. I just paid more of the bills, bought the takeaways, most of the drinks, treated her. If he's not doing this, he's either a fool or a tight arse. Bring it up with him, if he doesn't change then he's the latter.

Do u want to be with someone like this?

Wardling · 27-05-2017 04:56PM

We split our rent fifty fifty but our salaries would be very similar to begin with

One_Of_Shanks · 27-05-2017 05:42PM

April 73 wrote: »

For me it's totally dependant on what conversation you've had on future plans & what you discussed before you moved in together.
When myself & my now husband first lived together we split costs 50/50. Our incomes were fairly similar then though.

When things got more serious & we were engaged and saving for a house we pooled resources.

Yeah this is my thinking on it too.

You really need to sit down and have a chat about if yee are staying together and intending getting married or remaining together long term and stuff.
And if you feel awkward having that chat then that in itself would say to me that splitting rent 50/50 regardless of income is the way to go for now.

If the relationship isn't sort of concrete long term type thing then why should he pay more than 50/50?
If roles were reversed you wouldn't be asking the question.

However, if yee are very serious about each other and plan on staying together for the rest of your days then you are getting a raw deal here and yee need to have a chat.
I suppose the bottom line here is that you're asking people for advice without us knowing the full situation in the relationship.

Just my opinion but if I was that chap and I was really confident that the relationship was gonna last for the duration then I would be the one to broach the subject with you coz its the right thing to do and then you set up a joint account and that's your savings together for the future and then you should both have the same disposable income left after rent, bills, diesel, bla bla bla are all paid.

On the other hand, if I'm that chap and I have some doubt about whether you're ultra-serious for the long-term yet then I'd do what he's already doing.

So really it's all about what page you two are on as a couple.

Parchment · 27-05-2017 05:53PM

I would only split costs 50/50 even if one person earns more. I dont expect anyone else to carry me nor do i wish to carry anyone else.

OP why did you move in with him on those terms? If the shoe was on the other foot would you feel the same?

27-05-2017 06:40PM

All costs split 50/50 imo. I don't see fairness in one paying more than the other regardless of income. The higher earner should be left with more disposable income and should be able to save more as they earn more and are entitled to benefit from this.

RoisinClare6 · 27-05-2017 07:00PM

I've been living with my boyfriend for 2 years now. Our current situation is he works full time When I work part time x2 days a week. He pays for our day to day living (food shop/general bills) basically anything we need for the week. Then when I get paid at the start of the month my €600 pays our rent for the month.

Not ideal but that's where we are at until I can get fulltime work!

Murrisk · 27-05-2017 07:47PM

Alexia Repulsive Munitions wrote: »

All costs split 50/50 imo. I don't see fairness in one paying more than the other regardless of income. The higher earner should be left with more disposable income and should be able to save more as they earn more and are entitled to benefit from this.

They don't necessarily work harder though. If the relationship proceeds to marriage this is a recipe for disaster.

catrionanic · 27-05-2017 07:56PM

We always split 50/50, regardless of who earned what, until we opened a joint account a few months before we got married. If it's not the sort of relationship where you're certain you're going to make commitments to one another, either through marriage or a house purchase, then I think it's fair enough to go 50/50 and you should have thought about this when you were deciding to live together, as that would have been the right time to address it.

If you're in it for the long haul, then you're a partnership and should pool your finances. I'm currently on maternity leave and earning a whopping €235 per week, so my husband is paying for almost everything. And I'll be going back part-time, so he will continue to earn more than 3x my salary. But I am raising his children and keeping his house running, and I don't think you can put a price on that!

theteal · 27-05-2017 08:01PM

It's been mentioned a few times already but I'm curious as to what difference marriage makes in this scenario?

If you're moving in together, it's a "serious" relationship. A piece of paper to say you're joined at the hip makes no difference as far as I'm concerned.

Anyway, to answer the OP's query, we did 50/50 but then again our salaries were much the same (I think the NHS London weighting add-on may have put mrsTeal slightly on top of that scale). She's on sprog leave at the moment so I'm now covering 100%

One_Of_Shanks · 27-05-2017 08:05PM

theteal wrote: »

It's been mentioned a few times already but I'm curious as to what difference marriage makes in this scenario?

If you're moving in together, it's a "serious" relationship. A piece of paper to say you're joined at the hip makes no difference as far as I'm concerned.

Ah well most people just mean staying together forever etc. Marriage is just a quick way of summing it up, for the purpose of this topic.

I'm not even married myself, despite being with herself for 14 years. But when people call her my wife I know what they mean. It saves time.

MayoSalmon · 27-05-2017 08:06PM

50/50 equality feminism all that no?!!

Couples splitting rent

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