Small offence that requires imprisonment?

Ash.J.Williams

Logo wrote: »

For a person who can't afford a mortgage and doesn't have many friends. What is the least offensive crime that would require long-term imprisonment? Just asking for a friend who can't afford a mortgage, no house or family. He just needs a few meals a day. Maybe some TV. A gym would be a plus. Also company would be good. Hot water on tap would be a plus. Would he have to commit murder or would a burglary be acceptable? He does realise that he would have to give up his liberty.

simple......stop paying tax...fastest way to jail I reckon and no early release or mitigating circumstances either!!

Logo

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

simple......stop paying tax...fastest way to jail I reckon and no early release or mitigating circumstances either!!

How does a PAYE worker stop paying tax?

Your Face

Stand beside Joan Burtons car for a bit.

One eyed Jack

Logo wrote: »

Believe it or not but I'm not trolling! I'm just looking for an honest answer. I've seen too many honest guys having a hard life while others behind bars appear to flourish. So I'm just wondering what's the ideal crime that can get someone behind bars without injury to anyone else?

There isn't one.

If your friend wants a quiet life where he's free from all adult responsibility, there are easier places to achieve that than trying to get sent to prison. If prison actually were so cushy, every homeless person would be trying to get in there.

I don't think anyone assumed your friend was straight or gay either (it's irrelevant), they're simply pointing out the obvious.

Logo

One eyed Jack wrote: »

There isn't one.

If prison actually were so cushy, every homeless person would be trying to get in there.

Never expected that prison life was crusy - just maybe a bit better than what's here and have been for a good few years.

Supercell

Hold up a large sign on O'Connell Street in Dublin saying Muhammad was a pedophile and rant about it on a megaphone.
Would be a pretty good test of the blasphemy law as the guards definitely can't say people were not offended.

Gravelly

Supercell wrote: »

Hold up a large sign on O'Connell Street in Dublin saying Muhammad was a pedophile and rant about it on a megaphone.
Would be a pretty good test of the blasphemy law as the guards definitely can't say people were not offended.

He said he wanted jail time, not death.

Logo

skankkuvhima wrote: »

Boards.ie really has gone to ****

I'm only posting an honest question skankkuvhima. Maybe boards.ie has gone to ***** for you but perhaps it's day to day existence for others. If this isn't an issue that concerns you today then maybe it's best not to reply

MichaelR

Isn't there a "membership of an unlawful organization" crime, which does not require one to actually handle a gun (let alone hurt anyone) before you're a criminal? And then he could demand a jury trial, which removes the option of a fine. http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/1939/act/13/section/21/enacted/en/html

It is typically applied to members of various organizations styling themselves the IRA. And he would get company good at belting out Wolfe Tones songs.

EDIT: another option might be to join the real Oglaigh na hEireann, the Armed Forces. He gets quarters too, but also good exercise and a chance to ttavel the world for free. And the chance of death is very small - we're not talking of the U.S. Army here.

Logo

MichaelR wrote: »

Isn't there a "membership of an unlawful organization" crime, which does not require one to actually handle a gun (let alone hurt anyone) before you're a criminal? And then he could demand a jury trial, which removes the option of a fine. http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/1939/act/13/section/21/enacted/en/html

It is typically applied to members of various organizations styling themselves the IRA. And he would get company good at belting out Wolfe Tones song.

Thanks for that. Was thinking of the relatively easy life that Ian Brady et al are awarded. Other less criminal appear to sometimes get a more lengthy sentence.

please helpThank YOU

Not paying your Water bill . getting a sledge Hammer! and smash up your water meter property belonging to billionaire Denis o Brien in your Home/House/Property. in Ireland you would get big jail for that crime.

MichaelR

I sure hope he's not going to murder anyone!

If he just wants a few weeks in prison, a safe option might be to invade the airfield in Shannon Airport when a US military plane is there. Margaretta D'Arcy, an old woman, got three months for that but I think she got out early. They'd possibly hand out a bit more to a middle-aged man. Make sure to have a big poster about NATO wars and nothing resembling weapons, so the guards don't shoot.

Logo

MichaelR wrote: »

I sure hope he's not going to murder anyone!

If he just wants a few weeks in prison....

No I'm talking about a man in his fifties - the guy who doesn't have family connections and is generally invisible to the public...

Donald Trump

Why do a small thing?

If getting caught is preferable to what he has now, why not do something that is very risky, but that if it worked he would make a lot of money. Then his "worst case scenario" of getting caught and imprisoned is actually what he wants now. And if it does work ...... profit.

Plus, if he does something mental, he'll probably get more respect from other inmates

Donald Trump

Why a prison?
Get himself into the mental hospitals. Go into the copshop and start pissing all over the counter. Shout at the Guards "I know what yiz are up to ya shape-shifting lizard-people space-alien cunts. Take me to your leader"

Probably more craic in the nuthouse