Has this ever happened to you?

KKkitty

Due to a guy I went to school with harassing me through Facebook messenger the guards told me to deactivate my Facebook account for a while. I have done nothing wrong so why should I do it? I have him blocked and I went through my security settings on it the other day too. I like going on it to keep up with family and friends who I wouldn't see all that much.

weldoninhio

KKkitty wrote: »

Due to a guy I went to school with harassing me through Facebook messenger the guards told me to deactivate my Facebook account for a while. I have done nothing wrong so why should I do it? I have him blocked and I went through my security settings on it the other day too. I like going on it to keep up with family and friends who I wouldn't see all that much.

Gardai in using lazy option shocker!! Once he is blocked he shouldn't be able to message you, if he does, keep a log of everything he sends (screenshot it and save it to a Word document maybe), and reported it to the Gardai again. They have no right to tell you to deactivate your FB, they prob just think he'll stop if he notices your profile gone.

donegaLroad

KKkitty wrote: »

Due to a guy I went to school with harassing me through Facebook messenger the guards told me to deactivate my Facebook account for a while. I have done nothing wrong so why should I do it? I have him blocked and I went through my security settings on it the other day too. I like going on it to keep up with family and friends who I wouldn't see all that much.

a solicitor's letter would do the trick.

Harassment is a criminal offence in Ireland under the Non Fatal Offence Act, 1997.

You have already reported it to the Gardai, you should follow up with a solitictor's letter if this person continues to harrass you. (maybe you should be posting this on the legal advice forum?)

Winterlong

Yeah, the Gardai are suggesting the blunt force option.
Like asking them how to avoid your house getting burgled.
"Move out".

Skihunta13

KKkitty wrote: »

Due to a guy I went to school with harassing me through Facebook messenger the guards told me to deactivate my Facebook account for a while. I have done nothing wrong so why should I do it? I have him blocked and I went through my security settings on it the other day too. I like going on it to keep up with family and friends who I wouldn't see all that much.

Are these private messages, if so post them on your page gor all to see. Name and shame.

eamonnq

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=103377292&postcount=6185

kunst nugget

I used to use facebook a lot as did a lot of my friends but it's use has petered out completely. Tbh, if this happened and the Gardai suggested that to me it would give me the push I need to finally deactivate my account.

KKkitty

I like being on Facebook though. As I said I use it to keep up with family and friends who I don't see much. I'm a big girl now and know if he contacts me again I can go back to the guards.

KKkitty

Skihunta13 wrote: »

Are these private messages, if so post them on your page gor all to see. Name and shame.

They are private messages​. I don't think naming and shaming is the way to go. He seems to be mentally ill.

Dravokivich

OP, I had noticed you posting this elsewhere. To be honest you'd be better off looking for something along the lines of a Barring or Safety order. If this is being pursued, the only means to hinder him in the short term is to close out on Facebook. Although as an option, have you followed up with Facebook to get him blocked?

donegaLroad wrote: »

a solicitor's letter would do the trick.

Harassment is a criminal offence in Ireland under the Non Fatal Offence Act, 1997.

You have already reported it to the Gardai, you should follow up with a solitictor's letter if this person continues to harrass you. (maybe you should be posting this on the legal advice forum?)

Why would it? The letters can be ignored without any issue. It's just expensive correspondence.

KKkitty

Could I ring Facebook in Dublin and explain the situation?

jeanjolie

Dravokivich wrote: »

OP, I had noticed you posting this elsewhere. To be honest you'd be better off looking for something along the lines of a Barring or Safety order. If this is being pursued, the only means to hinder him in the short term is to close out on Facebook. Although as an option, have you followed up with Facebook to get him blocked?



Why would it? The letters can be ignored without any issue. It's just expensive correspondence.

Is it really harassment though? Correct me if I'm wrong but if she hasn't told him to politely '**** off' and he hasn't threatened her at all or continued to pester her, then there doesn't seem to be anything she can do.

Dravokivich

KKkitty wrote: »

Could I ring Facebook in Dublin and explain the situation?

That all depends what they do there. There are a global company so could have some teams focused in different locations depending on the support required.

When you select a Personal Message, there is an option to "Report". Have you followed through on that?

jeanjolie wrote: »

Is it really harassment though? Correct me if I'm wrong but if she hasn't told him to politely '**** off' and he hasn't threatened her at all or continued to pester her, then there doesn't seem to be anything she can do.

Where she has posted elsewhere she indicated that this person had made threats.

silverharp

it must have a block feature or set it so you can only accept private messages from known accounts.

Your Face

DRAMA BOMB !

Unfriend and block user.

Unwanted attention gone if that's really what is wanted.

KKkitty

He has said that he would like to meet my kids. They have no biological link to him in anyway. He got it into his head that he was my oldest son's dad but I can tell you he's not. He was ranting and raving to the guards when they called to his house. They said it's obvious he's not all there too. It's going on about 7 years on and off. He'd leave me alone for a bit and then start messaging me again.

Boom_Bap

silverharp wrote: »

it must have a block feature or set it so you can only accept private messages from known accounts.

It does have a block feature. There is a little cog icon in the chat window which is the settings. Open that up.
There is a block option and there is a report option to notify FB. They take that quite seriously and will take action against the guy.

biko

KKkitty wrote: »

Could I ring Facebook in Dublin and explain the situation?

Sure, if you can find the number...

KKkitty

biko wrote: »

Sure, if you can find the number...

Tried ringing them but they don't seem to have an actual person manning the phones.

Winterlong

KKkitty wrote: »

Tried ringing them but they don't seem to have an actual person manning the phones.

http://www.wikihow.com/Contact-Facebook

Unfortunately, there is no way to directly contact Facebook--you can't call, text, email, or otherwise speak to an employee or affiliate of Facebook. You can, however, use Facebook's Help Center to diagnose and report a problem with your account.

KKkitty

Winterlong wrote: »

http://www.wikihow.com/Contact-Facebook

It's so stupid that you can't speak to an actual person though.

eamonnq

KKkitty wrote: »

It's so stupid that you can't speak to an actual person though.

They would probably be inundated with calls from people like your 'friend'.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I saw an article online where this girl had blocked her ex everywhere, Facebook Instagram whatsapp viber twitter etc... and he transferred 4p into her account to leave her a message on the bank transfer.

OP I know it sucks, but Facebook are a huge company. They have bigger fish to fry, so I can understand them not having a phone manned tondeal with complaints. Just keep reporting the pms and block him. If he's showing up near your house or contacting family or friends, report him again.

Gravelly

KKkitty wrote: »

It's so stupid that you can't speak to an actual person though.

With nearly 2 billion "customers" they'd need an awful lot of phone operators.

Wossack

just unfriend and block? Whats the issue here?

silverharp

KKkitty wrote: »

It's so stupid that you can't speak to an actual person though.

I don't meant to insult you but you sound very naive when it comes to this aul social media thing. Remind me how much does your Facebook subscription cost every year?

Biggest lickspittle on boardz

KKkitty wrote: »

He has said that he would like to meet my kids. They have no biological link to him in anyway. He got it into his head that he was my oldest son's dad but I can tell you he's not. He was ranting and raving to the guards when they called to his house. They said it's obvious he's not all there too. It's going on about 7 years on and off. He'd leave me alone for a bit and then start messaging me again.

I'm not a legal eagle, but you should check if you can get a barring order or similar against him? (Again, I'm not an expert so maybe this only applies to ex-partners etc.)

You should also consider contacting a security company to send some rather large and intimidating looking gentlemen to relay your concerns to the harasser. (No heavy stuff obs, just make sure he gets the message.)

I know a woman who went through something similar, she was terrified of her life with this particular nut case. And to all the people making fun of the OP, I hope you never get to experience it first hand. Stalkers are utterly terrifying. She could barely eat or sleep, a few times I had to stay at her place just to keep her from having a breakdown. Not a laughing matter at all.

Boom_Bap

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I saw an article online where this girl had blocked her ex everywhere, Facebook Instagram whatsapp viber twitter etc... and he transferred 4p into her account to leave her a message on the bank transfer.

OP I know it sucks, but Facebook are a huge company. They have bigger fish to fry, so I can understand them not having a phone manned tondeal with complaints. Just keep reporting the pms and block him. If he's showing up near your house or contacting family or friends, report him again.

FB want everything done thorugh their software. Everything!
Not sure if there are any phones even in FB HQ

KKkitty

KKkitty wrote: »

It's so stupid that you can't speak to an actual person though.

To be fair to them, they have about a billion users. If on any given day .001% of their users wanted to call them, they would need a call centre to handle 100,000 calls.

It's going on about 7 years on and off. He'd leave me alone for a bit and then start messaging me again.

How is he messaging you again, if you have him blocked?

CPTM

KKkitty wrote:

Due to a guy I went to school with harassing me through Facebook messenger the guards told me to deactivate my Facebook account for a while. I have done nothing wrong so why should I do it? I have him blocked and I went through my security settings on it the other day too. I like going on it to keep up with family and friends who I wouldn't see all that much.

I'm confused, when you block someone they cannot get into your page to initiate a message conversation right? Is the problem not solved?

Gravelly

Deleted User wrote: »

To be fair to them, they have about a billion users. If on any given day .001% of their users wanted to call them, they would need a call centre to handle 100,000 calls.

Nearly double that.

KKkitty

At the height of it he would leave me alone for a while and then start messaging me again. I have him completely blocked on Facebook now. I forgot he used a second account to message me so I have that blocked too. He knows where I live but I'm hoping that he's got the hint to leave me alone after the guards paid him a visit to his parents house the other night. He couldn't contact me personally so he started messaging my siblings the other day.

pickarooney

Has what ever happened to me?
You've blocked this guy's two accounts, your siblings can do likewise. What more do you need from Facebook?

Widdershins

I love Facebook so I imagine how annoying their response must be. I went to the effort of creating a new account to evade someone like that but you shouldn't have to.

KKkitty

I've logged back in. I've gone through all privacy settings and unfriended his sister. I don't want​ to take the chance that she could be near him and leave herself logged in on some device. The guard I spoke to really hates social media. I understand the guard was concerned but why should a victim of harassment have to go off social media. The culprit should.

tracey turnblad

I've had the deactivate my account for similar reasons. Facebook is the least of my worries keeping me and my family safe is my priority. Ivan still use Facebook messenger.

Boom_Bap

KKkitty wrote: »

I've logged back in. I've gone through all privacy settings and unfriended his sister. I don't want​ to take the chance that she could be near him and leave herself logged in on some device. The guard I spoke to really hates social media. I understand the guard was concerned but why should a victim of harassment have to go off social media. The culprit should.

Did you use the report function on FB, that will get them off it.

Glenster

Deleted User wrote: »

To be fair to them, they have about a billion users. If on any given day .001% of their users wanted to call them, they would need a call centre to handle 100,000 calls.

Where do I even start?

Wossack

Glenster wrote: »

Where do I even start?

tried turning it off and on again?

punisher5112

Plenty of other ways to keep in contact with family and friends.

Shut page down and re open under new name but allow your real friends and family on. Don't be thinking oh I'll accept anyone and everyone.

If he can't find you its all the better for you.

You could use WhatsApp for a while or email and so on.

Ring or text is another wonderful option.

Social media ain't all its cracked out to be.

Iseedeadpixels

People saying "just delete and block him" he can just set another page up etc, best thing to do is change your settings so you cant be found at all.

KKkitty

I should be practically invisible on Facebook now. I won't be accepting friend requests from anyone I don't know. I've asked family members to report his page and a friend too. I've connected with some long lost relatives through Facebook too so I want to be able to keep in touch with them.

Purple Mountain

Without sounding harsh, do people accept requests from people they do not know? That's surely a recipe for trouble.
OP are you in touch with anyone connected to this man? Would you br able to flag his mental health symptoms to anybody who could help him.
He sounds a bit 'mad' not bad but you are absolutely right to phone police and to block him from contacting you.

KKkitty

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Without sounding harsh, do people accept requests from people they do not know? That's surely a recipe for trouble.
OP are you in touch with anyone connected to this man? Would you br able to flag his mental health symptoms to anybody who could help him.
He sounds a bit 'mad' not bad but you are absolutely right to phone police and to block him from contacting you.

I'm not in touch with anyone connected to him. Tbh I don't want to be either. If a guard who just saw him for the first time was able to tell he wasn't all there what's going on with his family. They must see him regularly enough.

please helpThank YOU

KKkitty wrote: »

Due to a guy I went to school with harassing me through Facebook messenger the guards told me to deactivate my Facebook account for a while. I have done nothing wrong so why should I do it? I have him blocked and I went through my security settings on it the other day too. I like going on it to keep up with family and friends who I wouldn't see all that much.

Best thing to do is get off Facebook for ever. I would never go on Facebook ever it is best to be a private person in life .

KKkitty

please helpThank YOU wrote: »

Best thing to do is get off Facebook for ever. I would never go on Facebook ever it is best to be a private person in life .

Well I'd agree with you to a point but why should I get off it when I've done nothing wrong? If anything he should be made get off it. I don't share anything about my life or kids on it really.

osarusan

Maybe you could set up a new profile and migrate everything to that one, and leave the old one 'open' so that if he does try and get to you, he'll be in the wrong place.

There's a possibility he might have noted the names of some of your friends as a way to find you again after being blocked, so it might even be worthwhile to put a new name on the profile.

It's a bit of an effort, but might work.

the.red.baron

KKkitty wrote: »

Well I'd agree with you to a point but why should I get off it when I've done nothing wrong? If anything he should be made get off it. I don't share anything about my life or kids on it really.

you can block them, so block them

what's the problem

Facebook have already given you a solution so what do you expect of them exactly?

please helpThank YOU

KKkitty wrote: »

Well I'd agree with you to a point but why should I get off it when I've done nothing wrong? If anything he should be made get off it. I don't share anything about my life or kids on it really.

There is lot of people in Ireland who are not on Facebook KKKitty you can live you life with out Facebook what did people do when there was no Facebook ?. The world full is full of dangerous nasty people Men and Women .and a lot of them are on Facebook so best to delete your Name from Facebook for ever and enjoy life and be Happy.:)

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

please helpThank YOU wrote: »

Best thing to do is get off Facebook for ever. I would never go on Facebook ever it is best to be a private person in life .

But you're on boards though

KKkitty

I've reported his accounts to Facebook. Why am I feeling like I've done something wrong? I'm the one who's been harassed. I've had that account for about 10 years so why should I change it or start again?