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Should I be concerned?

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Comments

  • #32
    fineso.mom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,093 ✭✭✭fineso.mom


    " I'm feeling a little rattled at the minute as there has been cheating on her behalf in the past (not with the ex though) and I've had to overcome a lot of fear of being hurt and that happening again to maintain our relationship. Am I overreacting?"
    OP The above is what would concern me most. Even if she hadnt cheated on you before ,sleeping with an ex is completely inappropriate. But the fact that she has cheated before and you forgave her and worked to overcome your fears to maintain the relationship and THEN she casually mentions she slept in the same bed as her ex (even if he's not the guy she cheated with) ?!!? Well, that's just ridiculous and either she has zero awareness or she has zero respect for your feelings. If she cared at all about hurting you before then she would never put you in a position of doubting her again . I'm not saying she should be grovelling and begging forgiveness forever but she should at least be mindful of how her behaviour could affect you.
    You deserve so much better.


  • #33
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    She appears to have absolutely no respect for you, and you appear to have her high up on a pedestal. You can do better. This is not normal behaviour. Now that doesn't mean it's wrong; in that if you were both fine with it then people in relationships are free to decide the terms and be as atypical as they like. But you're not both fine with it. You are "rattled" and feeling "fear" and she apparently doesn't care at all. She has cheated on you in the past, is sharing a bed with an ex, and expects you to just learn to accommodate it. To be honest I can't believe what I'm reading.

    A few years down the road when you're in a healthy relationship with someone else you'll look back and cringe at the fact that you allowed this to persist for so long. Explain to her that this has to stop and she's going to have to learn to accommodate that. If (when) she refuses; leave and don't look back. Seriously.


  • #34
    bucketybuck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,943 ✭✭✭✭bucketybuck


    letmeknowwhatyouthink wrote: »
    Recently she told me that they'd gone on a night out and spent the night sharing a bed due to their wanting to see one another socially again the next morning.

    Your girlfriend shagged her ex that night.
    Its something they do as intimate friends and that I will have to learn to accommodate and understand

    Your girlfriend is making an idiot out of you.

    This isn't even about her, its about you, stop avoiding the obvious and find some self respect.


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