Boilerhouse legal age

gizmo81

"The real motivator for men to use saunas isn’t just any old sex though – it’s a specific type. Cheap and anonymous, it requires none of the responsibilities of a relationship. The cheap part is easy to pass off, but the need for anonymity and the fear of intimacy are more complex social issues. We can’t ignore the reality that some gay men are addicted to one-night stands and, because of arrested development and/or internalised homophobia, run the risk of never achieving their potential for finding long-term partners.

I’ve no doubt that many of the lads who frequent saunas are happy and fulfilled in their lives. However, on my visits I’ve seen a lot of drunken desperation, sometimes laced with thinly veiled shame and internalised agesim."

http://theoutmost.com/opinion/trouble-gay-saunas/

Mr.Frame

gizmo81 wrote: »

"Try forget about "the community" sums up the problem entirely. Each gay for themselves to hell with anyone else!

You left out the part where I said "live and let live".

With respect you do come across as if you have a bee in your bonnet when it comes to being gay or people going to a sauna.

A young guy asked a question re minimum age to go to the boilerhouse and most of that has been taken up with "your view" of the "gay community".
It seems all of it is based on books you read with various theories or numerous links of articles by other people.

I am curious though by your comment "that sums up the problem entirely".

Would you be so kind as to elaborate

gizmo81

I advised an 18 year old not to take his underage friend there. Nothing good can come from that.

Then posters attacked me and I tried to explain that I feel that saunas are an extension of the closet and shame.

Perhaps, I have not made it very clear but being attacked by every poster doesn't help me articulate it. I haven't; made this up, there is a lot of research on this but people on the thread would prefer to dismiss respected academics.

I haven't stopped anyone going to the boiler house, I defended it earlier in the thread, i advocate it changes it's role within the community to become a resource and centre for education (the have suspended their rapid HIV testing) while remaining a sauna instead of lining someones pockets with no thought about the impact saunas have on the community.

Mr.Frame wrote: »

You left out the part where I said "live and let live".

With respect you do come across as if you have a bee in your bonnet when it comes to being gay or people going to a sauna.

A young guy asked a question re minimum age to go to the boilerhouse and most of that has been taken up with "your view" of the "gay community".
It seems all of it is based on books you read with various theories or numerous links of articles by other people.

I am curious though by your comment "that sums up the problem entirely".

Would you be so kind as to elaborate

gizmo81

Check out a thread on here from a couple of months ago, opinions are varied.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057684512&page=2

xvhvtevx wrote: »

Can anyone give me a rundown of how the whole thing looks like? Thanks

Mr.Frame

gizmo81 wrote: »

I advised an 18 year old not to take his underage friend there. Nothing good can come from that.

Then posters attacked me and I tried to explain that I feel that saunas are an extension of the closet and shame.

Perhaps, I have not made it very clear but being attacked by every poster doesn't help me articulate it. I haven't; made this up, there is a lot of research on this but people on the thread would prefer to dismiss respected academics.

I haven't stopped anyone going to the boiler house, I defended it earlier in the thread, i advocate it changes it's role within the community to become a resource and centre for education (the have suspended their rapid HIV testing) while remaining a sauna instead of lining someones pockets with no thought about the impact saunas have on the community.

I fail to understand the comment "that saunas are an extension of the closet and shame".
Why should a sauna change its role withing the "community"to become a resource for education".

A sauna is there for people to go and meet and have fun. They provide condoms and advise people to have safe sex.
If people do not wish to take that on board , thats up to the people/person themselves (unfortunately).
A sauna is not some centre for education nor should it be.
I fail to see what you mean by "no thought about the impact saunas have on the community."

baby and crumble

Any chance we could stay stay on topic of the Op? A theoretical debate re: queer theory, the closet etc may be interesting but maybe start a new thread or head over to humanities?

LLMMLL

gizmo81 wrote: »

I advised an 18 year old not to take his underage friend there. Nothing good can come from that.

I've created another thread to discuss the whole.sauna and shame stuff. But will respond to this part here as I think it's on topic.

The friend is the legal age to consent to sex. I'm not sure they are underage to go to the BH though they may be as I think alcohol is served there I'm not sure. I advised to ring and ask. That's all. You're acting like everyone is trying to force a 17 year old to go to a sauna against his will.

LLMMLL

xvhvtevx wrote: »

Can anyone give me a rundown of how the whole thing looks like? Thanks

It's basically a tall building with not much floor space on each floor. Ground floor is a bar and lockers. Next floor is more lockers toilets and a.porn cinema and a few cabins. Next floor up is jacuzzi sauna steamroll showers and toilets and a few cabins. Next floor up is cabins and showers. Next floor up is porn cinema, darkroom and a few cabins.

Doctor Nick

Last time I was in the BH (over 10 years at this stage) it was strictly over 18 and they did not serve alcohol. This may have changed in the interim with regards alcohol but don't think they have with regards to age.

I think alcohol in saunas is a bad idea however, having been to Thermos in Amsterdam (fantastic sauna) who do serve alcohol I've never seen any trouble.

pauliebdub

It's a sleazy kip filled with loneliness and desperation and you're about as likely to contract an sti than meet a nice fella. Save your 22 quid for something worthwhile. Join a social group if you want to meet nice people.

ongarboy

pauliebdub wrote: »

It's a sleazy kip filled with loneliness and desperation and you're about as likely to contract an sti than meet a nice fella. Save your 22 quid for something worthwhile. Join a social group if you want to meet nice people.

Why so judgemental or are you projecting your own issues of loneliness and desperation - how do you categorically know the vast majority of punters there are like what you say?  Realistically, more people probably score and do the business from hooking up in Coppers or any other similar large nightclub across the country every Friday or Saturday night than may do in the Boilerhouse, yet you don't appear to call them out. (or maybe you do which makes you even more prudish)  Yes, the methods and intentions at the Boiler house may be more visible or direct but the end result and underlying motivations are the same anywhere people want to meet others to score (gay or straight).

pauliebdub

ongarboy wrote: »

Why so judgemental or are you projecting your own issues of loneliness and desperation - how do you categorically know the vast majority of punters there are like what you say?  Realistically, more people probably score and do the business from hooking up in Coppers or any other similar large nightclub across the country every Friday or Saturday night than may do in the Boilerhouse, yet you don't appear to call them out. (or maybe you do which makes you even more prudish)  Yes, the methods and intentions at the Boiler house may be more visible or direct but the end result and underlying motivations are the same anywhere people want to meet others to score (gay or straight).

It's an observation, I've been there a few times before. If I was to have a conversation with a 17 year old I'd tell him to stay well away from the place. There's far better and healthier ways to meet men.

Doctor Nick

pauliebdub wrote: »

It's an observation, I've been there a few times before. If I was to have a conversation with a 17 year old I'd tell him to stay well away from the place. There's far better and healthier ways to meet men.

It's only unhealthy if you take risks. I used to go regularly. Then I got involved with somebody in 2005 and stopped going. That relationship is over and I never bothered going back as tbh it doesn't really appeal to me anymore but when I was going I was around 18/19 years old and I had great times there and met some very nice people (and a lot of arseholes but that's life).

Bottom line is it can be good fun and they provide the necessities (condoms/lube) for good safe fun. The onus is on the customer to use them and any health related matters that occur for not using said items is on that person, not the BH.

And I'm still pretty certain it's over 18's.

Duncanwooly

Live and let live; if the lads want to do it then it's up to them.

BUT, they're 17/18 for christ's sake. Fun should be waiting for a free gaff for the night not going to the boiler house. They might be legal, but are do they have the confidence to adequately tackle questions of consent that might come up. Could their naivety make them impressionable or could older man coerce them?

LLMMLL

Duncanwooly wrote: »

or could older man coerce them?

What do you think these "older men" are gonna do? Lire them into their darkened van with a lollipop?

Duncanwooly

I might be mistaken using the world older. Regardless, the question of consent in the boiler house is not just black and white. Are you connecting to sex, are you consenting to sex being watched by Mr X, Y & Z what happens if Mr Y wants to join in; can he?

Mr.Frame

Duncanwooly wrote: »

I might be mistaken using the world older. Regardless, the question of consent in the boiler house is not just black and white. Are you connecting to sex, are you consenting to sex being watched by Mr X, Y & Z what happens if Mr Y wants to join in; can he?

Do i take from your comments that you think people will be coerced into doing something they dont want to ??

I take it you've never been to the BH,given some of your rather startling assumptions.

baby and crumble

In all fairness, whether it's done maliciously or not, it's very easy for an older person (and I include women in that) to use their social skills which are undeniably more advanced most of the time than an 18 year old in those situations to muddy the waters. It happens all the time. Nobody is saying that all the men older than 20 are out to trick the teenagers into sex they don't want.

LLMMLL

baby and crumble wrote: »

In all fairness, whether it's done maliciously or not, it's very easy for an older person (and I include women in that) to use their social skills which are undeniably more advanced most of the time than an 18 year old in those situations to muddy the waters. It happens all the time. Nobody is saying that all the men older than 20 are out to trick the teenagers into sex they don't want.

Can you be specific about what these skills are and how they are used?

Doctor Nick

Duncanwooly wrote: »

I might be mistaken using the world older. Regardless, the question of consent in the boiler house is not just black and white. Are you connecting to sex, are you consenting to sex being watched by Mr X, Y & Z what happens if Mr Y wants to join in; can he?

You most definitely have never been to the Boilerhouse. I wasn't (still not) into group sessions and/or voyeurism (neither watching or being watched). If you're not into it, you go into a cubicle and lock the door. Privacy, just you and the person you fancied.

J_E

gizmo81 wrote: »

So many gay men now have a 'kink' and a pleather harness. These behaviours are socially learned, seen to raise your status in the community, seen as an assertion of your masculinity. Again a manifestation of shame rather than liberation.

You are so off the ball with this comment and clearly don't know the first thing about the kink or leather community. This is coming from someone who has had an involvement in the scene both in and out of Ireland, it is not based on community status or reinforced shame...It's such a strange observation to make. When you talk a lot about things you don't understand, expect people to point this out.

Duncanwooly wrote: »

Live and let live; if the lads want to do it then it's up to them.

BUT, they're 17/18 for christ's sake. Fun should be waiting for a free gaff for the night not going to the boiler house. They might be legal, but are do they have the confidence to adequately tackle questions of consent that might come up. Could their naivety make them impressionable or could older man coerce them?

Big boys and girls have a bit more of an awareness than you'd think, give them some credit... someone their own age could pose the exact same problem of consent. That's an attitude, not an age.

If your friend wants to go to the Boilerhouse, that's fine, but they should just have an awareness of safe sex practices and take things easy on first visit.

metchman

sorry for reviving this thread but how likely is it for me, a chubby curious young lad to have fun in there?

Heebie

metchman wrote:

sorry for reviving this thread but how likely is it for me, a chubby curious young lad to have fun in there?

There is really only one way to find out, and that is to go several times.

The crowd there will be different each time, your own attitude may be different each time.

The first time, hang out, relax in the hot tubs and steam rooms, but don't actively do anything... just watch what's going on.
If people start touching you and you get uncomfortable, just pull away. (Walking away can mean "follow me")

Don't do anything you're not comfortable with and don't do anything with anyone you're not comfortable with.

You might have a great time, you might not.

I say go a few times because the "vibe" can be very different.

and... be old enough to go. Check with management there if it's not clear on the website.

JupiterKid

If staff at the Boilerhouse are in any doubt as to your age, you will be asked for valid ID at the door. If that ID isn’t forthcoming or they aren’t happy with its validity (for instance a Garda age card or passport may be required, not just a student card) they will turn you away.

If you’re over the legal age, have fun!

As for older people taking advantage of younger people sexually, it happens all the time. My ex’s nephew lost his virginity at 15 to a woman in her 40s. I was disgusted when my ex told me that. He insisted he was consenting and enjoyed the experience but that fortysomething woman should have known better - she took advantage of a young teenage boy for her own selfish pleasure. Wrong on so many levels!

metchman

i'm not that young now haha
is there any other lingo i should know?

Heebie

metchman wrote:

i'm not that young now haha is there any other lingo i should know?

Don't go stoned or completely drunk and falling over. Have your wits about you.
Most of all, have fun.